Yeah, another chapter!! Well it's actually a baby chapter. Instead of boring you and trying to drag it out, I opted to just make it short and sweet. There is no obvious point to it, it's another one of those filler chapters. Just think of it as the chapter that's about nothing.. Well, nothing yet. Thanks to all who reviewed the last one, even though only one of them wasn't lost by ff.net. I'm still a little bitter, sorry. I'm not exactly one of the popular writers on the scene, so I cherish my reviews. So it's only right to feel mad when I can't click on the review button and reread them for inspiration. Ok, I'll shut up now. Oh, by the way, the song was just to be funny. No other reason. I also didn't use all of the lyrics.
I don't own BeBop, I also don't have any money. Shit, I ain't even gots no hubcaps!
Song credits for We're a Happy Family go to the Ramones.
We're a happy family
We're a happy family
We're a happy family
Me mom and daddy
Sittin' here in queens
Eatin' refried beans
We're in all the magazines
Gulping down thorazines
We ain't got no friends
Our troubles never end
No Christmas cards to send
Daddy likes men…..
Life was truly an unpredictable thing. It could take you a thousand places and back again. So was the case of Edward's life. She had been abandoned in a day care center at the tender age of four by her father. Then she had lived in a orphanage until she was about eight. Life also took her to a few more unsavory places before plopping her into the laps of the crew of a bounty hunting ship called the BeBop for two years. But that was not the final destination of the genius hacker. Life decided that it was time to move on once again. This time fate placed Edward into the care of Faye. Something that no one would have ever thought would happen in a million years, including Ed. But be that as it may, here she was, living with Faye in her apartment on earth. They still were bounty hunters. Well, Faye actually went out and got the bad guys, Ed just got the info for her. The funny thing was that even though it was just Faye, Ein and herself, they had tons more money than the whole group of them ever made on the BeBop. The purple haired woman was only bringing in what Spike always had dubbed 'small fries' and they were still ahead of the game.
What was even better was the fact that Ed was given a percent! She actually had her own money! So needless to say her tomato always had the latest upgrades. Having her own money also meant that she could buy all the chocolate that she could handle. Faye always made sure that there was plenty of food and weed in the house as well. In fact, Faye's apartment building was a pot smoker's sanctuary. There were four apartments in the large building. Every apartment was filled with party minded stoners with a need to have fun. Ein had other dogs to play with, Ed had people to talk to that thought she was a pretty cool person. In fact, she actually appeared to be quite sane compared to some of the other tenants in the building. That brought Edward's train of thought back to the fickle hand of fate once again. Her theory was that she had served enough time being the outcast, so the powers that be decided to place her in a spot that made her look kind of normal. Now to anyone that has ever met her, Ed is far from normal. But in this, almost surreal environment, she was a pillar of sanity. Who would have thought?
Edward could honestly say that this point in her life was the best so far. She was truly happy. Her days consisted of shopping, playing in the park and watching tv. Not to mention all of the company she had. Everyone in the building would hang out at each others apartment. It was like a big commune. In this commune there were some very interesting people.
There was the landlady, Pam, she seemed to be of some asian decent. Then her two sons, Rick and Clay, now they were fun. Ed was the youngest in the building, so of course just about everyone seemed to be fun. Especially after only having Spike and Jet to compare anyone to. But topping the mountain of fun was Deke. He was the coolest person Ed had ever met. In fact, how Deke appeared to Edward, was probably how she appeared to Spike and Jet. In her opinion, she was a pretty fun person herself. But Deke took the cake. He was around twenty five or so. Although most of the time he acted more juvenile than Ed. A shit eating grin was always plastered across his face and a permanent red glow on his cheeks told of a early start at drinking. You could also talk him into doing anything. No really, you could. One time at a weekend party in Faye's apartment Rick and Clay talked Deke into sticking his balls on the outside of the blender. Now this in itself seemed pretty stupid. But, the blender was stainless steel and it had a short. So when condensation built up on the outside of it, it would give you a zap if it was running.
So once Deke tried it, he was addicted. The fact that he was as drunk as a skunk and had smoked half his body weight in hash probably had a little to do with it also. But it was still pretty fucking funny to watch. That was just a little peek into the life that the spunky read head was now leading. There were a whole heard of others that made living in this building an exciting experience too. But the condition Ed was currently in prevented her from remembering what her name was, let alone anyone else's. It was a Saturday night and it was Faye's turn to host the party. They all took turns using each other's apartment for the weekend festivities.
Ed sat up from her previous position of laying on the floor and lifted her goggles off of her eyes. The room had a haze of smoke floating around it. Christmas lights that were stapled to the ceiling twinkled and gave the room a funky look. A crowd of tenants were assembled in the apartment, smoking and drinking. Playing video games, dancing to the loud music and falling over drunk. Ein was currently entertaining two guys named Jimmy and Mike by drinking beer from his bowl. Rick was playing bar tender and Deke was getting ready to give his balls a zap on the blender. It was a pretty normal Saturday as far as Ed could see.
Now right now your probably thinking that this was not the best environment for a thirteen, soon to be fourteen, year old to be in. But when you considered all of the places and things that Edward had already seen in her young life, it wasn't all that bad. Not to mention the fact that stoners were quite docile creatures. There would be no shoot outs or sneak attacks in Faye's building. No syndicate bad guys or unsavory rival bounty hunters either. Just a group of people that you could rely on. That made Ed feel real good. She wasn't sure if this was what Faye had meant by 'belonging' but she was sure that if it wasn't, then it was pretty damn close.
The fuzzy haired hacker was snapped from her thoughts by someone gently nudging her in the arm. She looked to her right to see an outstretched hand holding a water pipe. Not wanting to mess up the rotation, she took a long and heavy hit before passing the pipe along to the next person. Placing her goggles back on her head as she mentally noticed what good shit this was, Ed laid back down on the floor and proceeded to let her mind wander once more. Her thoughts were as fuzzy as her hair. As time went by, it was hard to differentiate what was really happening and what was just THC induced. She could hear someone calling her name, someone she knew but didn't quite recognize. The voice was a mixture of surprise and anger. Maybe not anger, but it did have a disciplinary tone to it. Edward decided to move her overly heavy head in the direction of the voice. It seemed like it had taken three hours, but in reality it must have taken only a few seconds.
She could make out a large silhouette standing over her. Then the figure's face came nose to nose with hers. It was very trippy. Her eyes strained to stay in focus, the goggles weren't helping matters much either. After a short pause her mind caught up and placed the voice, silhouette and face to the appropriate person. It looked so real, but she had to be dreaming. All of this new information sizzled and popped in Ed's brain for a few moments before she could muster up the ability to speak. Normally it would have been instantaneous, see then speak. She really never let her brain in on it before. Which would pretty much explain why everything that escaped her mouth never made sense. Because it literally just escaped. No thought involved.
But since thought decided to take the wheel this time around, she let it and spoke, "This is some good shit!".
Daddy's telling lies
Baby's eating flies
Mommy's on pills
Baby's got the chills
I'm friends with the president
I'm friends with the pope
We're all makin' money
Sellin' daddy's dope
We're a happy family
We're a happy family
We're a happy family
Me mom and daddy……
Short, I know. But I needed it for the next one. Yes, I WILL be returning to the strip club for the next chapter. I was going to just jump right in and finish off the scene but decided against it. I mean, come on, I might as well drag it out. We ALL know what's going to happen. At least let me try and divert your attention. So stay tuned for the next chapter; 'Angel' in a centerfold. Get it, 'angel'? Never mind. If your up to it, I've got two more of these shit piles, I mean stories out there. Give em' a read and tell me what you think. Satan
