Everlasting
chapter 4: a startling realization
"I've never seen anyone as bossy as that blasted Narcissa Libelle!" Lily grumbled angrily, her eyes glued to the scene unfolding in front of her.
Lily and James had come to the library to work on their Potions assignment, along with Remus and his partner. Incidentally, Sirius and Narcissa already happened to be there, and sitting at the table across from Lily's.
"Just look at the way she orders him around...!" Lily spat out grumpily, not quite aware of James' amused smile.
"Well, I suppose I can think of one person who's almost as bossy and academic-wise as Narcissa Libelle..." James trailed off, grinning playfully at Lily. She immediately realized what he was suggesting, and scowled.
"Don't you dare compare me with- with that witch!" Lily frowned. "Okay, bad insult... But all the same, Narcissa is nothing like me! First of all, I am... diligent, and er, slightly strict, that's all. But she- now she's just downright bossy!" Lily exclaimed hitting the table with her hand. But all she earned was a stern glare from Madam Pince, and a bemused smile from James.
"Why do you hate Narcissa so much, anyway?" James asked curiously.
"Why do you not??" Lily retorted back, looking horrified that James could even ask such a thing.
"She hasn't done anything to me, or to you either, for that matter. So there isn't really any reason to despise her so much." James replied calmly.
"You wouldn't understand... She's just so... so..." Lily faltered, noticing James' sudden change in expression. "What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I don't know if I should really say this but..." James hesitated.
"But what?" Lily prodded, becoming impatient.
"But does this whole hatred for Narcissa thing have anything to do with Sirius, by any chance?" James looked at her, his eyes filled with anxiety.
"Sirius? What? No, of course not! I mean, dear Merlin, why would this have anything to do with Sirius? He has absolutely no connection with this whatsoever! I mean, so what if he is Narcissa's partner? I mean, it's not like they're dating or anything...! Not that I would care if they did, of course! Well, even if she is my worst enemy, and it would totally be a betrayal if Sirius fell for her... But then again, like I said, this has nothing to do with Sirius at all... and..." Lily realized that she was ranting, and stopped abruptly.
James just stared at her, looking a little crestfallen.
"James... it's really not what you think it is..." Lily pleaded, her voice growing smaller by the second.
"I understand. Can we just get started on the assignment then? I think the other students are starting to glare at us for making so much noise." James said, unsmiling.
"Alright then..." Lily replied, almost in a whisper, and set her potions on the table.
***
Sirius hummed cheerfully as he stepped through the portrait hole. He had finished gathering all the ingredients for his potion, giving Narcissa a pleasant surprise. She had also smiled at him, and it was the first time Sirius had ever seen her smile so pleasantly. He felt as if he were floating on clouds as he stepped into the common room.
But the scene that greeted him there robbed him of all his happiness.
"I never once implied to you to that I felt attracted to him, did I?" Lily screamed furiously, her tousled red hair looking like a large flame of fire.
"But it's obvious you feel that way." James shot back in a quieter, calmer voice although he looked just as angry as Lily.
"Then why would I even have started dating you?! Arghh! You are so dim-witted, James Potter!!" Lily yelled back childishly.
"Hey... what's all the fuss for?" Sirius asked carefully, holding his hands up as a sign of peace.
Lily just looked at him for a moment, then stormed to the girls' dormitories, slamming the door shut with all her might.
"What's wrong with Lily?" Sirius asked, but James just shook his head coldly and left too.
Sirius stood there, in the middle of the room, feeling thoroughly puzzled. But hastily concluding that their argument probably wasn't any of his business, he just shrugged it off. But how wrong he was...
***
Lily slowly walked up to her dormitory, sniffling. She was so distraught that she didn't even notice the amused stares of her dorm-mates, who carefully surveyed her puffy eyes and tear-streaked face.
She closed the curtains surrounding her bed, and curled up next to her pillow. She carefully thought over the things James had said to her. It was nonsense. How could James even suspect her of such a thing? Absurd... But, maybe it wasn't so absurd. What if it was even true?
Lily's tear-filled eyes suddenly widened in horror.
It couldn't be.
Lily Evans, falling for her best friend??
***
"Sirius." Lily called out timidly. Sirius turned around to face her, looking surprised.
"I- I... Do you think I could have a word with you...?" Lily stammered, feeling tense around Sirius for the first time.
"Sure. Is something the matter?" Sirius replied cheerfully, though he looked concerned. He fell into step next to Lily, and draped his arm around her shoulders in a friendly matter. Lily almost flinched at his touch, but managed to stop herself in time. She had often walked arm-in-arm with Sirius before, but why did it feel so strange and unfamiliar all of a sudden?
They walked to an empty classroom, and sat down in desks, facing one another.
"So... is anything wrong?" Sirius asked once more.
"No, not really..." Lily hesitated to speak. "But... I- I wanted to talk to you about the argument I had with James yesterday..."
"You don't have to tell me, Lily. It is your own private business..." Sirius said gently.
"No, I think that I should. You see, it kind of... involves you a bit... er, a lot, actually." Lily looked down, twiddling her thumbs nervously.
"Me? You two got in a huge row because of little ol' me?" Sirius repeated, looking flabbergasted.
"Sirius, I- I... think that I-"
"There you are!" Narcissa Libelle poked her head into the classroom, interrupting Lily, who had been about to declare something very important. "Guess what? I found the last ingredient!"
"What? You're not serious? How in the world...?" Sirius grinned stupidly.
"Well, actually, I got a hint from Professor Caliga on where to find it. She said that she hadn't planned on telling me, but had a change of heart after considering my potions grade!" Narcissa smiled.
Meanwhile, Lily sat helplessly at her desk, watching Narcissa and Sirius' friendly exchange. She was apparently still in a state of shock, for her mouth was hanging open like a goldfish.
"Would you like to start brewing it now, if you're not busy? Because, I actually have a rather important meeting later on, so this might be my only chance..." Narcissa trailed off, glancing at Lily.
"You wouldn't mind, would you, Lils? I'm sure you can tell me that later, right? I mean, you yourself told me that there was nothing wrong!" Sirius' eyes shone with excitement, and Lily had no choice but to agree.
***
"I've lost James... I've lost Sirius..." Lily mumbled to herself like a crazy woman. She was inside a stall of the girls' lavatories. It seemed that the only place where you could get some privacy was the lavatory, and even there, lurked the danger of being overheard by other girls.
"I have no boyfriend. I have no best friend..." Lily leaned against the door of the stall, for support.
She felt close to tears, but then realized how irrational she was being.
"Crying won't fix anything...!" she muttered to herself, and stood upright. "I must analyze this problem, and figure out precisely why it happened in the first place!"
Lily suddenly felt full of courage and strength. "I've still got hope!" she exclaimed, and slammed the door of the stall open.
There stood five girls staring at her, struck dumb.
"Nope. Not much hope left for you..." Madeleine said, eyeing Lily strangely.
***
Sirius sat between Lily and James during breakfast, feeling awfully awkward. The two had been avoiding each other all morning, and had insisted that Sirius sit between them.
"Sirius, would you please ask Potter to pass the potatoes?" Lily said quietly.
"Er... James?" Sirius tapped James lightly, not sure of what to do.
"I heard her, Sirius!" James snapped. "Would you stop acting so childish, Lily? I had every right as your boyfriend to confront you about that!"
"You had no right to make up absurd accusations, if that's what you mean!" Lily retorted back, trying hard to sound honest.
"Absurd? I seriously doubt that, Lily! I could tell what was going on, with you acting all strange around-"
"Stop! This is between us, and only us! Now would you please shut up??" Lily hissed, looking around.
Indeed, by this time, practically the entire table was staring at Lily and James. Including Sirius, who had to lean backwards to let them converse. He was on the verge of falling off his chair, and finally decided to just stay standing behind them.
"Between us? I don't think so, Lily." James replied coldly, not paying the least bit of attention to the other Gryffindors. "Sirius, there's something I should probably tell you-"
"You wouldn't!" Lily cried out, close to tears. James was slightly taken aback.
"But I should tell him. He is involved, after all."
Lily glared at James, but ended up bursting into tears. "Tell him then, if it would make you feel so much better!!" she shouted angrily, before running out of the Great Hall.
James looked astonished, and suddenly realized what he had almost done. He turned red in the face and looked around at the other Gryffindors who were staring at him expectantly.
"You should probably go after her..." One of the fourth years spoke up, cautiously.
James nodded dumbly at the Gryffindor, then dashed out after Lily.
And like always, Sirius was left standing alone, with no clue whatsoever as to what was going on.
***
"Why are all these terrible things happening to me, anyway...?" Lily mumbled to herself, miserably. "What ever happened to bright, level-headed Lily Evans anyway?"
Suddenly, she heard a knock at her dormitory door.
"Lily... it's me, James. I- I didn't tell Sirius... and I'm sorry. I realize now that I was wrong all along. And I promise never to accuse you of such a thing again..."
Lily felt even more miserable, hearing James' apology.
'But you were right, James... You were right all along. I'm sorry for being such a terrible girlfriend... It's all my fault, I don't know why I'm so messed up right now...' Lily thought to herself sadly. She didn't open the door, and James left eventually.
She felt her heart break into a million pieces.
A/N: Poor Lily! It looks like Sirius has turned the tables on her! --Not intentionally of course! Nope, Sirius has no fault whatsoever!^^ Actually, it's just because I love Sirius! Anyway, I wrote this chapter in sort of a rush, so it may be a bit shorter than the previous ones. But please review anyway, I really want to know your opinions! ^^
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and if I ever give you the idea that I do, please keep in mind that it is only due to overly wishful thinking^^
