Everlasting

chapter 7: when you're staring past me

"'Morning, Nar-"

Narcissa Libelle swept past Sirius, ignoring his greeting. Lily felt sorry as Sirius' face fell.

"How rude of her!" Ella piped up angrily, jabbing her fork into her scrambled eggs. Madeleine and Rebecca also looked up from their breakfast plates to shoot glares at Narcissa. She didn't take any notice, though.

James placed a comforting hand on Sirius' shoulder, but Sirius only stared at his food. Lily couldn't help but feel sympathetic, and guilty at the same time. Although she felt sorry for Sirius, a small part of her was also glad that Narcissa was engaged to someone else. And it was wrong. After all, they were best friends; best friends should never think such selfish thoughts.

Sirius remained in a bad mood throughout the day, and Ella's aggravating questions only worsened it. Lily, on the other hand, avoided Sirius as much as possible. Although she had planned on confessing her feelings for him, she just couldn't bring herself to do so while seeing him so glum.

***

"Sirius, is something wrong...?" Lily asked hesitantly. She half wanted to comfort him, but that wasn't possible, for she wasn't supposed to know about Narcissa's engagement yet.

"Oh...? No... nothing wrong at all," Sirius replied, struggling to smile.

"You just don't seem very focused is all..."

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Just caught up in them silly daydreams of mine, again!" Sirius chuckled awkwardly, and Lily managed to smile. "What page am I supposed to be on, again? Is it the chapter about the Magical Revolution yet?"

Lily shook her head. "Not yet. I'm still writing about the development of magical currency. Have you finished summarizing chapter 4 yet?"

"No, actually... Really sorry, Lils. I just can't concentrate for some reason... probably because of the Quidditch match next week." Sirius smiled sadly. But Lily knew otherwise.

"Sirius..." She decided she'd have to come out straight and truthful. "I know what's going on with you and Narcissa." Sirius looked up, his eyebrows raised questioningly.

"What do you mean by that...? There's honestly nothing going on between us, Lils."

"What I mean is, that I know how much you like her, and... I also know why she hasn't been speaking to you lately."

Sirius' eyes narrowed in suspicion, but he didn't speak a word. He titled his head as if to try and analyze Lily's thoughts, then spoke slowly. "So... you know then?" Lily nodded, staring at the floor.

"I... I'm really sorry, Sirius! I just couldn't help overhearing your conversation with James the other evening. And I heard everything... I'm sorry I eavesdropped."

Sirius paused for a moment, as if deep in thought. "Hmm... so you know about Narcissa's engagement... Well, no matter. You probably would have found out sooner or later anyway," he spoke with a strained grin.

"I really feel bad for your loss. I know how much you liked her... " How can I tell Sirius now? If I just confess everything as it is, I'll probably seem like such a horrid, selfish person...! Lily thought to herself desperately.

Just then, Sirius rose to leave. "Hey, you know what? I absolutely forgot about going to visit Professor Trafield this afternoon; he agreed to help me find a suitable new broomstick. Not very

often that stiff agrees to help anyone on anything, so I'd better not be late." He flashed Lily an apologetic grin. "Do you think we could continue the homework later this evening?"

"Sure, no problem..." Lily trailed off quietly. "But, er, Sirius! One more thing before you leave..."

Sirius turned to face her, his eyebrows raised.

Just get it over with, Lily! Just get it over with and stop torturing yourself. After all, it's now or never, right? Lily took a deep breath, and opened her mouth to speak the fateful words...

"Sirius, there you are!!" Rebecca screeched as she hopped through the portrait hole. "I've been searching everywhere for you!"

Lily let out a weary sigh, as she collapsed into her armchair. Someone always seemed to interrupt right at the most crucial moments. Thus, Lily had failed yet again.

"Oh?" Sirius raised an eyebrow wearily.

"Well, first of all, I'd really like to express my regrets. I knew that Libelle would start mistreating you sooner and later... and well, I think you deserve better, Sirius." Rebecca smiled at Sirius sympathetically. Lily tried hard not to gag.

"I deserve... better? Do you have anyone particular in mind?"

"Well... me, actually!" Rebecca let out a high-pitched giggle, and Sirius cringed. "And so... I'm offering you the honor of accompanying me to Hogsmeade this weekend!"

Sirius scratched his head. "I was actually planning on er, not going..."

"Not going?! Why??" Rebecca looked torn as she questioned Sirius desperately.

"Just got lots of homework to catch up on, not to mention various other things to finish up..."

Rebecca only pouted angrily as she marched out of the common room. She threw a scowl at Sirius before she slammed the portrait behind her.

Lily and Sirius looked at each other, chuckling nervously.

"Hey, Lils, I think I'd better be going now. I might take a while so don't wait up for me. I'll see you next morning then?"

"Yeah, sure..." Lily replied, as her best friend gave a short wave and disappeared through the portrait hole. She felt her heart sink heavily. Fate had led her this far; why was it working against her all of a sudden?

***

Lily sat engrossed in her Potions textbook as the other students slowly walked into the classroom, talking and giggling amongst themselves. A loud crash was suddenly heard from the back of the classroom, and she jerked her head around at the sudden interruption.

There was Sirius, his books and cauldron astray upon the classroom floor. He had seemingly tripped while walking into the classroom, and his face was beet red with embarrassment. Lily looked cautiously over at the Slytherins, most of whom were laughing heartily. Narcissa, however stared at Sirius intensely. Lily couldn't read her expression.

"Very graceful indeed, Black!" Lucius Malfoy cackled as Sirius brushed his robes. Sirius scowled darkly but didn't reply.

He suddenly discovered a bottle of ink that had rolled away from him, but as he knelt down to pick it up, Lucius strode over and kicked him lightly in the shin.

"You looked rather graceful back there, but I guess the dog instinct in you just can't be hidden for long, eh, Black?" Lucius sneered. "Kneeling down on hands and knees suits you." The Slytherins roared with laughter, as Sirius' fists began to tremble with anger.

"Stop it."

From the back of the classroom, stepped Narcissa. She spoke quietly but firmly, tugging Lucius' arm insistently. Sirius stared at her, his eyes searching her desperately. But Narcissa didn't look at him.

"Would you knock if off, Lucius? Caliga's going to be very displeased if she walks in on this..."

"Stay out of this!" Lucius said roughly, shoving Narcissa aside. But he had crossed the line now.

Sirius' eyes glittered furiously as he lunged at Malfoy, sending him toppling over. There was a flurry of fists, elbows, and feet as the two fought furiously amidst the other students' screams and cheers. Sirius fought furiously, but Malfoy was tall for his age and had the sturdy build of a Beater, and so poor Sirius soon found himself pinned to the ground.

Lily gasped, close to tears. Why wouldn't Caliga hurry up? Why wouldn't anyone stop the two? What if Sirius were to get badly injured?

Malfoy pinned Sirius' wrists to the floor, staring at him menacingly. Sweat was trickling down his forehead as he spoke sneeringly.

"You think you're any match for me, Black? I could kill you, and not just with my fists. Just be thankful you caught me by surprise, disabling me from getting my wand. And speaking of wands, what kind of idiot are you anyway? You have a perfectly good wand and you resort to fist-fighting. God, Black... You even fight like Mudblood scum!" Lucius sneered as his fellow Slytherins cackled and yelled out insults at Sirius.

"Malfoy... you'd better not lay a hand on Narcissa ever again... You may have me beaten now... but the moment you even touch her again, I'll kill you..." Sirius struggled to speak from underneath Malfoy's grip, but his glare was as fierce as ever.

Narcissa watched from the back of the classroom, where she was surrounded by a group of friends. She looked pale and scared; an emotion that Lily didn't think existed within her.

"Yeah? And what right do you have to tell me how to treat my own fiancee?" Lucius glared, as he stood up, grabbing Sirius by the collar.

"Y- Your what...?" Sirius' face turned ashen as he processed what Malfoy had just said.

"You heard me, Mudblood. My fiancee. Don't tell me you didn't know?" Lucius smirked in pleasure as he watched Sirius' eyes widen in shock. He finally let go of Sirius and surveyed him as one might do to a worm.

Sirius slowly turned to Narcissa, as if to demand answers. She just turned away hurriedly, looking upset.

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?" Caliga yelled above all the noise. For as the fighting had went on, the students had formed a crowd in the middle of the classroom, and were now making a commotion. "EVERYONE IN THEIR SEATS!"

The students reluctantly made their way back to their seats. Lily watched Sirius worriedly, wondering what thoughts might be running through his head that moment. And she also realized...

She realized that finding a place in Sirius' heart would be immensely difficult... But she'd try and try all the same...





A/N: To tell the truth, I sort of wrote this chapter in a rush... And with exams over too, shame on me! Sorry! . It's just that some... er, things have come up... And also sorry for Lucius' lame insults... I'll think of something better next time!

Disclaimer: Characters and background - not mine. Plot - mine. Well, sort of.