A Little Bit of Insight
Summary: '"Since when did you become so insightful?" "When someone needed me to be" he answered, smirking at the sky.' Pansy and Draco talk about life. DM/PP friendship, one-shot. *COMPLETE*
Disclaimer: I own nada, zip, zilcho
A/N Pansy and Draco are both sixteen, and it's set during the summer before sixth year. It's just a little talk they have about things. I've latched onto this pairing (friendship) after reading some excellent one-shots featuring them.
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"Don't you ever mind?"
"What?" he asked, peering at her as she lay on the grass, one perfect blond eyebrow raised in question.
"Don't you ever mind never getting a birthday card, or a present you actually like, or a birthday cake?"
He paused for a second, before replying, "No, not really"
"Oh"
"Why – do you?"
"Oh…no" she answered quickly.
"I don't believe you"
"But I don't!"
"Yes you do"
"No I don't!"
He sighed, exasperated. "Look, Pansy, I know you, okay? And you know I know you. Which is why, when you say it's not true, I know you're lying"
She stayed silent, watching the clouds scud across the sky overhead.
"Pansy?"
A pause, then "What?"
"You know I'm telling the truth"
Another pause. She tilted her head slightly, a frown adorning her face, before replying "Well? So what if for once in my life I actually want to get a little affection? What's wrong with it?"
Now it was his turn to pause, clasping his hands behind his head as he lay sprawled on the grass beside her.
"Nothing's wrong with it. We were just never brought up for affection, that's all. We were brought up to be miniature versions of our parents; cold, hard cores with nothing in them but malice and cruelty. And affection never goes hand in hand with those two things"
She turned over on the grass, resting her chin on her arms. "Since when did you become so insightful?"
"When someone needed me to be" he answered, smirking at the sky.
They lay quiet for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, before she spoke again.
"Do you think we'll ever know what it's like to be loved?"
"I don't know" he answered truthfully.
"I'd like to think so," she replied, a small smile playing across her pale lips. "I'd like to be loved by something, even if it was just a pet, or a friend I only had for one summer. At least then I'd be loved"
"My dear Pansy, you are a dreamer"
"I know". She paused again, turning her head to the side and watching him with pale green eyes. "And what about you? Would you like to think so too?"
"Perhaps," he replied, not taking his eyes off the sky.
"I would"
"Of course you would. You're you"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Only that when it comes down to it, you've got a whole different person locked up inside you to the one you show to the world"
"I do?"
"Yes, you do. And so you can believe in things like that, things I could never even hope to believe in a thousand years. Even though you're the daughter of two Death Eaters, you're destined to become one yourself, and you'll most likely have an arranged marriage, you can still believe in finding love," he finished. "Not that anyone needs it" he added scornfully.
"Do you really believe that? Do you really believe no one needs love?"
"Yes" he replied without hesitation.
"Then how come the most unhappy person I know is the one with love missing from every aspect of his life?"
"Which twat would that be then?" he answered, although both of them already knew the answer.
"Calling yourself a twat is not a very good compliment Draco"
"Do I ever give nice compliments?"
"Do you ever give them in the first place?
"Not really, no"
She leant up on her elbow, resting her chin in her palm and looking down at him through long black lashes.
"A little bit of hope never hurt anyone"
"Yes it did" he replied, his voice quiet.
She paused, briefly turning her eyes on the grass before flicking them back to his face.
"Tell me"
A hesitation, then "I used to think that one day he'd say he was proud of me. I used to cling to it like it was my last hope in the whole world; like one day it might actually come true".
He smiled bitterly, his expression mirthless. "I've been waiting sixteen years. There's no point in waiting any longer"
She looked back down at the grass again, sadness faintly visible on her face. "That's sad"
"I know"
"You know everything"
"I know"
They lapsed into silence again, each lost in their own thoughts as cotton-wool clouds rolled across a bright summer sky.
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