Sinead Traveled to her tent as soon as the Hall had decided on Arla's fate- stilling and execution, as it had been for all but Lasana. That had been half an hour ago; now Sinead watched as the Aes Sedai with the strongest Talent for Healing that anyone had ever seen examined her sister. "If I try to Heal her," Dierdra said finally, turning to face Sinead, "the shock will kill her. She hasn't the strength." Sinead slumped, then straightened. The Shadow shall not beat me down!

"What if you take my strength? We are bonded- surely you could do something like that?" She asked, cradling Lasana's head in her arms. "Or- or…her Warders could help!" She smoothed long black hair away from her sister's pixie-like face, and thrust as much strength as she could spare into the bond.

"I cannot." The Yellow shook her head compassionately, smoothing the blanket lying over Lasana, gathering herself in readiness to leave. "Neither you nor her Warders are strong enough. Either she would die, or you would, and her Warders. Warders- she has more than one, then. You might consider taking on their bonds to keep them from killing themselves." Sinead nodded miserably. "Anyhow, it would be her, or everyone bound to her, and-"

Sinead finished bitterly, eyes closing against the woman's expression, "-and the Amyrlin needs me more than she needs Lasana. Thanks ever so much." Her voice was harsh and bitter. "Please- leave me alone. Oh, and have Gabriell come, though I don't think you will have to summon him." The woman nodded, and departed quietly. Sinead bowed over Lasana, her shoulders shaking with sobs that she couldn't control. Gabriell came in a bare two seconds after Dierdra left, and sat on the other side of Lasana. They loved the Cairhienin woman the most of anyone in the world; that half hour in that tent was a time that neither of them spoke of to anyone again.

It wasn't for several moments that she realized that the woman's eyes were open, deep black wells of pain, and she was looking at her, and then at Gabriell, and attempting to speak. "No- no…Dierdre said that if you woke you weren't to-"

"Sinead." Lasana said weakly, tilting her head back further. "I'm dying, am I not?" Sinead nodded mutely, brushing at her eyes to be rid of the tears that wouldn't stop coming, and then offering her sister water. Lasana nodded, and Sinead held it while she drank. "Well…" Lasana sighed, after finishing the water, accepting the inevitable, "Sinead…when I- when I'm gone …go to Lundren. I refuse to allow you to die avenging me, and I know you will try to. Our bond isn't like the other Aes Sedai's- we're both the Warders. You will want to die...and you mustn't." Sinead shook her head. "Yes! The world needs you- Lundren needs you. Kesinda will try to stop you, but don't listen…just go…"

Her voice grew fainter, but Sinead felt something wrap around her that made her feel like she'd just sworn another Oath. "Gabriell. I want Sinead to bond you…when I…when I'm gone." Gabriell stirred, anger and sorrow writ across his face. "No- you must keep her alive." And you must do the same for him, sister. The words were almost audible between them. Gabriell's hands clenched into fists, tendons and blood veins standing out on the back of his hands, but he nodded. Lasana sighed, head falling back on the pillow. "The bond will pass automatically." The dark-haired woman said faintly.

"I'm glad to have you two here now," she murmured, and Sinead trembled again. Gabriell was holding his lover against him, stroking her hair, kissing her softly, and Sinead held her hands tightly. A terrible silence came, then, as the three of them waited for the inevitable. Slowly, slowly, the bond faded, getting thinner and thinner. Sinead grasped at it with her mind, grappling with it, trying to hold Lasana there, using her own strength, and she could almost see Gabriell doing the same, but it slipped from her fingers like an oiled fish, and was gone. Gone with a suddenness that knocked her back against the wall of the tent, glassy-eyed in shock. I must live…Lundren. She thought vaguely, before the mists came in, and she remembered nothing but the pain.

~*~*~

Sinead came to consciousness slowly, her head whirling. "What happened?" She asked, and then remembered, her mind and heart scrambling to find Lasana. Nothing. She heard a keening, and wondered briefly who was screaming before realizing that it had come from her own mouth. It didn't help that she knew, with a certainty that she wasn't used to feeling for anyone but her sister, that Gabriell was somewhere alone, screaming with the same pain, but doubled…tripled. It felt like he had tried to kill himself and had been stopped; the excruciating feelings arching between them nearly knocked her out again.

"Sinead!" A voice said, but she couldn't stop. She twisted in the bed, put her face in the pillows, refused to move, to breath. Lasana was gone…she would never see her again. Never talk to her, or comfort her. Someone was pulling at her, and she resisted, struggling to remain like she was. I will come, sister! I will… That someone had turned into two someones, and she couldn't fight them both. She was turned over, and she heard someone gasp "Light have mercy on her soul!"

But she was having vague memories of something. Something very important- and she didn't care what they thought. "Sinead, when I'm gone, go to Lundren…" Sinead shook her head violently. No! She would stay, she would- The world needs you- Lundren needs you. She opened her eyes, and looked at what appeared to be a swirl of vibrant colors. She hastily closed them again. Just go! That feeling, like a new oath. Lasana had bound her to her instructions. And she had Gabriell to look after now. If one of them died now, the other would, as well.

Slowly, her whole body protesting, she sat up, putting her feet off the edge of the bed. She was in her shift, she realized, and her hair was braided. "How long?" She rasped, and the two Aes Sedai whirled around, staring at her. "How long have I been unconscious?"

"Two days." The man said, and she gave a jump. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable just wearing her shift in front of a man, it was that he was decidedly uncomfortable about it. She covered herself while he continued to talk. "The Amyrlin was not pleased to have her best fighter unavailable, but no one could wake you. I don't know what exactly happened, but when Lasana died you -you and Gabriell Gaidin- went insane. Sinead, were you bonded to Lasana?"

Sinead shook her head violently, to clear the last of the shadows and cobwebs that cluttered her thoughts. "In a way," she said, realizing that her shake might have been taken as a no. "We adopted one another as first-sisters, while we were still novice and Accepted respectively. An Aes Sedai was part of the ceremony, so it was completely legal, but we ended up with a version of the Warder bond between us." He nodded doubtfully, but she could care less what he thought of the matter at that moment.

The woman stepped forward. "Well," she said briskly, "first-sister bond or Warder bond, you reacted the same way Warders do when their Aes Sedai die, and you have the look about you that they do, as well. Here- Joncin and I will leave, so you can get dressed, but I will check on you if you don't come out in a quarter of an hour." Sinead gave her an elegant sneer, and started to slide from the bed. The two Aes Sedai hurried out, and she stumbled across the tent, to the mirror, curious what the woman meant by 'the look'. Whatever it was, she could feel it in Gabriell.

She saw it immediately. Her eyes, once alive with amusement, or anger, or whatever she felt at the moment, were dull, barely even registering her life-jolting shock at the sight of her face. Her skin was pallid -understandable, she supposed- and she felt she would never laugh again. She composed herself, and thought she was looking at a dead person, only she wasn't quite dead yet. She had lost a bit of weight, by the fit of her shift, but she thought she would lose more before it was all over, and what was weight, now?

She made herself go to her chest and get a dress out, put it on. She couldn't afford to crumple in tears; she had a few choice words to say to the Amyrlin, and then she and Gabriell would go find Lundren. And then, hopefully, she could find the rest she wanted. She shrugged her shawl onto her shoulders, checked to make sure she had her ring on. She must have lost more weight than she had first supposed; it could fit on her thumb with ease. She examined it a moment, then set to work on her hair, which, even with the braid someone had put it in, was definitely in need of a brush and attention, and was as lifeless as her eyes. She brushed it out and then stuck her combs in it. Dead eyes or not, she looked Aes Sedai to her toenails as she stalked from her tent. Maybe her eyes helped.

"Where is Kesinda?" She demanded of Joncin, her voice completely expressionless. He stared at her a moment, and then pointed. She didn't wait to hear what he said, stalking off toward where the 'Hall' of the camp was located. She could hear the murmurs of the Aes Sedai around her. Never see her again… The words and the pain echoed in her head, as she strode into the center of the gathering. All of them turned cold eyes on her for interrupting for no apparent reason, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. She felt Gabriell stride up and stand behind her. There were subtle differences in this bond from her bond with Lasana- she could feel the ability to force him to her will if necessary. She swore never to do it.

"Kesinda!" She said harshly, facing the Amyrlin and piercing her with her eyes. She could tell that they disturbed the Taraboner woman, but she did not lower them. "It was by your orders that Lasana and I were the only Aes Sedai on the field two days ago." She announced, her voice strong, but no clearer than a bracken-filled pond. "You said there wasn't a Dreadlord with them, that their army wasn't big enough to be dangerous. I would beg to differ with you, if it wasn't obvious enough without me having to beg anything." She knew that she and her new Warder were an imposing sight. They towered over everyone in the Hall -she was tall even for an Aielwoman, and he was a full head and shoulders taller even than that- and she also knew that everyone there could sense their all-encompassing desire for death. Those two things alone would have made them uncomfortable, but Sinead's strength in the Power and Gabriell's skill with a blade made it even worse. Or better, depending on one's view of the situation.

She put a hand on her chest, her fingers drumming in time with her heart beat, which seemed to be a little faster than usual. "My sister died because of your foolishness, Kesinda. I ask your permission to leave the camp; I cannot follow a woman who sends two Aes Sedai to fight an army by themselves with a small company purely because of a personal grudge against them." She waited. The woman had one last chance, though she might not realize it was her last.

"You will stay, and fight." Kesinda said flatly, and Sinead closed her eyes, turning to face the Sitters. Her patience with the Amyrlin was done. Gabriell was a drawn blade, face hard. He hated Kesinda as much as she did, now.

"If to wear this ring means I am this woman's chattel slave, and must obey her every order -however foolish- without question, than I do not want it." She shook her ring off -it came off far too easily- and bounced it on her palm, regarding them with chilly eyes. "Has anyone ever voluntarily chosen to no longer be Aes Sedai?" They shook their heads, almost as one. "The laws never say they cannot, however." More shakes. She remembered vaguely that an Accepted had once handed his ring to Madeline Sedai, saying he didn't want to be in the Tower anymore, but that wasn't precisely the same thing.

"But I do." Kesinda said, and Sinead whirled to face her. "I should have made you give me respect years ago, Sinead Mesine. Kneel!" She pointed at the ground, and Gabriell drew his sword. The metallic sound rang in the suddenly very quiet space, and Kesinda looked taken-aback by his open defiance.

"I don't think so, Mother." Sinead said, still bouncing the ring. "So…am I your slave? Do I have to follow your orders without question?" She put her other hand on her hip, then remembered she was wearing her shawl. She would not be rid of that. She would be Blue Ajah with or without her ring; her Ajah was dearer to her than the ring any day, and she knew that Sallah, still Head of it, would not strike her from the lists even if she were exiled.

"You have to obey me," Kesinda said. "If a single Aes Sedai questions the Amyrlin, that Amyrlin is made weaker. In these desperate times, it is essential that the Amyrlin is -I am!- strong."

Probably the most intelligent thing you have ever uttered, Sinead thought. And yet you do not mean it. You want to be like the Seanchan Empress, like the sul'dam with a damane- you want complete control over everything and everyone. That is not how the Amyrlin Seat works. Sinead narrowed her eyes. "But I am questioning you. I am questioning your biased view of myself and my first-sister. You cannot deny that you sent us into that battle in the hopes that we would both be killed, and thus get us out of your hair. You cannot deny that it is essentially your fault that she died today."

Kesinda opened her mouth, then closed it. By the Three Oaths, she couldn't, and was finding it out at that moment. "Lasana is dead, you Aiel savage, and there is nothing at all you can do about it," she growled, and Sinead staggered from the double blow. The stunned silence from the Hall pressed in on all sides. "She allowed a Black sister to catch her by her own stupidity. She deser-"

Sinead threw her ring into the air, flows of Fire weaving through it even as she did so. As it reached its peak, it exploded, showering the hall with tiny molten fragments of what was once Sinead's most precious possession. She had another ring on her hand now that meant more…a slender silver one, given to her by Lundren on the day they were separated by this battle with the Shadow. She strode forward until she stood with her nose inches from Kesinda's. "She deserved nothing of what she got, Kesinda!" she snapped, holding the Source through the sa'angreal in her hair. "She was already weakened, and it was your orders that put her out there before her strength was back. Fool! You will destroy what remains of the White Tower; I will not stay to witness it. May the Light illumine and protect the Aes Sedai you rule." The words had the ring of a Foretelling, though she didn't have the Talent. Any fool could see what was right underneath her nose.