As the searing fade, so did the memory of stepping through the arch. And so Scarlet began her third and final test, without even knowing it.
Scarlet wondered where Mathias could be. She had not seen him all day, which wasn't like him at all. He normally came to see her in her study in his free time. Scarlet, herself had not been an Aes Sedai for that long. Only for a couple of months, and it had changed Mathias and hers relationship a little, since he was still an Accepted. Though hopefully he would soon be an Aes Sedai, and they could bond. They had married a year early, the ceremony done by Amyrlin herself. She remembered the reasons they had gave Hesper Sedai for wanting to marry then and there. They had been through too much to be together, to risk losing each other, and they did not want to wait. She laid a hand lovingly on her stomach. Her face breaking into a huge smile of glee as she waited. She hoped Mathias got back soon. She had such wonderful news to tell him. She hoped he would be as happy as she had been at the news. As she thought back to their wedding, she couldn't see how he could not be happy about what she had to
tell him.
*flashback*
"Are you sure about doing this?" She had asked Mathias, referring to his wish to go and ask Hesper Sedai to give them permission to marry. Scarlet herself, highly doubted that Hesper would give the permission. She still thought they should just go into Tar Valon for the day and find a reader to marry them. She didn't give a bloody care if they got punished for it. In her opinion it was well worth it, if it meant she would be Mathias wife. For she loved him as much as a person could love someone.
"Of course I am sure about it, Scarlet." He said taking her hand as they head to Hesper Sedai's study.
Scarlet sighed as they walked. She knew when she was beaten she grinned and said, "I still think we should just go to . . . " she didn't get to finish. Mathias grinned at her, kissing her he said softly against her mouth, "I know what you think."
Minutes later they both stood nervously waiting to be admitted to the Amyrlin's Seat study. Scarlet straighten her dress nervously. Mathias flashed her a nervous grin, and whispered, "Calm down." She gave him a look that said. I'll try.
Scarlet curtsied as Mathias bowed, "Good morning my children." Hesper said, "How may I help you today?"
"Mother, we were hoping you would give us permission to marry." Mathias said quickly.
She looked them both over and said, "Accepted Scarlet, do you love him? Accepted Mathias do you love her?"
"I love him with all my heart, Hesper Sedai." She said, "Nothing can change that."
Mathias smiled and said, "Scarlet knows I love her, and I will till the end."
"So why are you both in such a hurry to marry? Why can't you wait till you are both raised to the ranks of Aes Sedai? For to be Aes Sedai, it must be first in your life." She said gently
"I love Mathias and I don't want to lose him . . . I've lost him in my arches. I nearly lost him in real life. I would rather be with Mathias then be Aes Sedai. He is more important to me then being Aes Sedai." She spoke frankly, "If we were married, when we both go through our final arch for become Aes Sedai, we would have a reason to come back, where some people don't and so therefore they don't come back."
Mathias was about to speak when Hesper Sedai said, "I will marry you, if you both promise me that it won't interfere with your studies."
They're thanks and promise that it wouldn't tumbled over each other. Each word competing to see if they could come out of their mouths faster. Hesper Sedai grinned and said, "Shall we start the ceremony?"
*end of flashback*
Scarlet smiled as she remembered it. That had to have been one of the happiest days of her life. She came out of her dream land as she heard Mathias voice. "Scarlet Sedai please look up at me." He said his voice holding a tone of laughter.
Scarlet looked up, confused as to why he was sounding so formal. Had something bad happened, but as soon as she saw him, she knew why. She jumped up knocking her chair back and squealed. For standing there in front of her was Mathias . . . Sedai. He had been raised. She gave him a huge hug and a kiss and said, "So what ajah did you pick?" She doubted that he had picked her ajah.
"Blue," he said as he kissed, "You know this means we can bond."
Scarlet looked up a ghost of a smile on her lips. She hadn't even thought of that. "Yes we could, could we not?" She said softly.
Mathias kneeled in front of Scarlet, his love, his wife, and said, "Aurora'Scarlet Sedai."
She stood up brushing her skirts and asked quietly, "Mathias Sedai, my dearest, my love, my husband . . . I ask you to grant me permission to bond you to me."
"Scarlet I love you with all my heart. Nothing can ever change that. I give you permission to bond me, if I may bond you also." He said standing up.
She nodded her head in agreement. Embracing Saidar she wove the weaves she had learned early on in her Accepted hood. At the same time Mathias wove the weaves. The weaves settled around them at the same time.
Scarlet sat back stunned momentarily as the bond effects started. It was so strange, being able to feel Mathias in her head. She felt the love move through the bond, and turned around into his arms. She loved him and he loved her. It was that feeling that reminded her of the news she had been waiting all afternoon to tell him.
He felt her excitement over the bond and looked at her questioningly, "What pray, my dearest is so important, and has you so excited?"
She giggled like a girl again and whispered softly in his ears, "You're going to be a father."
He encircled her waist and brought her closer to her, and kissed her, "How wonderful." He whispered in her ear, as he kissed her again. They collapsed in a heap on the bed in a fit of giggles, brought on by love. It was there in each other arms that they fell asleep wrapped in the cloak of their love. Though no amount of love Mathias could give her could protect her from her dreams . . .
*dream*
Scarlet held onto her child, Tatum to her bosom. As she ran from the laughs behind her. This couldn't be happening. Not now, not when she had everything she wanted. But she knew that it was, Jet always had a way of coming back to haunt her when she thought her life was perfect. He knew Scarlet so well, though she no longer knew him the way she use to. He had gone mad, of that she was sure. Why was it that he never seemed to die? She thought to herself as she ran. Her breath coming in terrified gasps. Though her terror was more for her little daughter Tatum, then herself.
"Scarlet come here dear. You can't run from me." He called into the night after her. He laughed, would, she never stop being like a corner cat, couldn't she just accept her fate? His laugh chased Scarlet as she ran.
"I'll never come to you Jet." She yelled behind her as she ran.
"Scarlet I'll find you, you can't hide, and you can't hide Tatum from me either." He shouted as he spied Scarlet's honey colored hair flare out behind her.
She stopped at the forks in the road, clearly debating what fork to take. That one moment of hesitation was going to cost her. A very hefty price, indeed very heavy. As he came to her, his hand sneak out covering her mouth. He whispered in her ear, 'I have you now.'
Scarlet screamed a blood curling scream.
*end dreams*
Mathias gentle woke Scarlet, "What is it?" he asked concern etched in his voice, and moving across the bond.
Tears rolled down her checks as she clung to him, "Oh it was horrible. I haven't had that dream in of so long."
Mathias cooed softly to her as he rocked her, "Its okay, its okay. He can't hurt you."
"I know, but it's just I fear him so much. It's ridiculous, isn't it?" she said softly, "I mean I know he's dead."
"No Scarlet, It's not you have every reason to fear him, even if you are supposed to be a fearless Aes Sedai."
Scarlet went to reply but nothing came out, instead she looked over Mathias shoulder at something that glittered there. A silver arch. Horror at what it meant dawned on her face, no, no not now. She didn't want to go back, she had everything she wanted here, in this place. "I just won't go." She whispered softly.
"What Scarlet?" he asked turning around to see what had her so transfixed.
"Nothing." She said unaware of the fact that he could see the arch. See it in all its glittering splendor.
"Scarlet I can see it, and you must go back." He said softly looking her straight in the eyes.
"You can see it?" she asked disbelieving, "But that's not possible." Since she knew that only she was supposed to be able to see the arch.
"It doesn't matter if I am supposed to see it or not. I can and I know what it means. You have to go back." He said pushing her gently toward the awaiting arch.
She dug in her heels and said, "No Mathias I don't want to go back. I have everything I want here!"
Mathias took her gently by the shoulders and said, "Scarlet this isn't real, You must go back. This is only an Illusion, not real and we both know this."
"Who cares if it is only an Illusion. It seems real enough to me."
He reached in his pocket taking out a gold locket, "I was going to give this to you at a later date but take it now. Go home Scarlet. Go and make your dreams came real. Go somewhere where it is not an Illusion."
"But you are here." She cried closing her hand around the locket.
"I'll be waiting for you. I promise Scarlet." He said and before she could get another world in he pushed her into the arch. He watched her disappear. A sad look in his eye for he had just sent the love of his life away. Even though it was for her own good. "I love you Scarlet." He whispered.
Scarlet felt the light rip her apart but she didn't feel a thing. A smile hovered on her face, for Mathias had sent her back. But it was okay, he was waiting for her. He said so himself. She tumbled out of the arch. The gold locket still was firmly enclosed in her hand.
"Where is he?" she asked as she came out of the arch. It shut off behind her, and as it did so did the truth. He wasn't waiting for. She remembered it now. All too clearly. They hadn't been together since she returned to the tower.
Her green eyes watered and she whispered, "He said he'd be waiting, that is the only reason I came back." She turned back around and hurled herself back at the arch.
She felt someone's hand on her shoulder. She looked up into the face of an Aes Sedai. Her green eyes were murderous as she met the other pair of eyes. "I hate you, all of you. I left them all of them. Aren, Kara, my family, Mathias, Tatum . . . " she trailed off for it was just then that it dawn on her, she had killed her unborn child by stepping through that arch.
It was that thought that was her undoing and she fell to the floor. All the tears that she had been holding back through this whole ordeal came. They came in torrents as she sat huddled on the floor as the ceremony was finished. Her only coherent thought was, 'Was it worth it?'As she opened the gold locket and saw Mathias and her together, looking happy. The inside was engraved with the words, 'I love you' Those three words made the tears come harder.
Scarlet wondered where Mathias could be. She had not seen him all day, which wasn't like him at all. He normally came to see her in her study in his free time. Scarlet, herself had not been an Aes Sedai for that long. Only for a couple of months, and it had changed Mathias and hers relationship a little, since he was still an Accepted. Though hopefully he would soon be an Aes Sedai, and they could bond. They had married a year early, the ceremony done by Amyrlin herself. She remembered the reasons they had gave Hesper Sedai for wanting to marry then and there. They had been through too much to be together, to risk losing each other, and they did not want to wait. She laid a hand lovingly on her stomach. Her face breaking into a huge smile of glee as she waited. She hoped Mathias got back soon. She had such wonderful news to tell him. She hoped he would be as happy as she had been at the news. As she thought back to their wedding, she couldn't see how he could not be happy about what she had to
tell him.
*flashback*
"Are you sure about doing this?" She had asked Mathias, referring to his wish to go and ask Hesper Sedai to give them permission to marry. Scarlet herself, highly doubted that Hesper would give the permission. She still thought they should just go into Tar Valon for the day and find a reader to marry them. She didn't give a bloody care if they got punished for it. In her opinion it was well worth it, if it meant she would be Mathias wife. For she loved him as much as a person could love someone.
"Of course I am sure about it, Scarlet." He said taking her hand as they head to Hesper Sedai's study.
Scarlet sighed as they walked. She knew when she was beaten she grinned and said, "I still think we should just go to . . . " she didn't get to finish. Mathias grinned at her, kissing her he said softly against her mouth, "I know what you think."
Minutes later they both stood nervously waiting to be admitted to the Amyrlin's Seat study. Scarlet straighten her dress nervously. Mathias flashed her a nervous grin, and whispered, "Calm down." She gave him a look that said. I'll try.
Scarlet curtsied as Mathias bowed, "Good morning my children." Hesper said, "How may I help you today?"
"Mother, we were hoping you would give us permission to marry." Mathias said quickly.
She looked them both over and said, "Accepted Scarlet, do you love him? Accepted Mathias do you love her?"
"I love him with all my heart, Hesper Sedai." She said, "Nothing can change that."
Mathias smiled and said, "Scarlet knows I love her, and I will till the end."
"So why are you both in such a hurry to marry? Why can't you wait till you are both raised to the ranks of Aes Sedai? For to be Aes Sedai, it must be first in your life." She said gently
"I love Mathias and I don't want to lose him . . . I've lost him in my arches. I nearly lost him in real life. I would rather be with Mathias then be Aes Sedai. He is more important to me then being Aes Sedai." She spoke frankly, "If we were married, when we both go through our final arch for become Aes Sedai, we would have a reason to come back, where some people don't and so therefore they don't come back."
Mathias was about to speak when Hesper Sedai said, "I will marry you, if you both promise me that it won't interfere with your studies."
They're thanks and promise that it wouldn't tumbled over each other. Each word competing to see if they could come out of their mouths faster. Hesper Sedai grinned and said, "Shall we start the ceremony?"
*end of flashback*
Scarlet smiled as she remembered it. That had to have been one of the happiest days of her life. She came out of her dream land as she heard Mathias voice. "Scarlet Sedai please look up at me." He said his voice holding a tone of laughter.
Scarlet looked up, confused as to why he was sounding so formal. Had something bad happened, but as soon as she saw him, she knew why. She jumped up knocking her chair back and squealed. For standing there in front of her was Mathias . . . Sedai. He had been raised. She gave him a huge hug and a kiss and said, "So what ajah did you pick?" She doubted that he had picked her ajah.
"Blue," he said as he kissed, "You know this means we can bond."
Scarlet looked up a ghost of a smile on her lips. She hadn't even thought of that. "Yes we could, could we not?" She said softly.
Mathias kneeled in front of Scarlet, his love, his wife, and said, "Aurora'Scarlet Sedai."
She stood up brushing her skirts and asked quietly, "Mathias Sedai, my dearest, my love, my husband . . . I ask you to grant me permission to bond you to me."
"Scarlet I love you with all my heart. Nothing can ever change that. I give you permission to bond me, if I may bond you also." He said standing up.
She nodded her head in agreement. Embracing Saidar she wove the weaves she had learned early on in her Accepted hood. At the same time Mathias wove the weaves. The weaves settled around them at the same time.
Scarlet sat back stunned momentarily as the bond effects started. It was so strange, being able to feel Mathias in her head. She felt the love move through the bond, and turned around into his arms. She loved him and he loved her. It was that feeling that reminded her of the news she had been waiting all afternoon to tell him.
He felt her excitement over the bond and looked at her questioningly, "What pray, my dearest is so important, and has you so excited?"
She giggled like a girl again and whispered softly in his ears, "You're going to be a father."
He encircled her waist and brought her closer to her, and kissed her, "How wonderful." He whispered in her ear, as he kissed her again. They collapsed in a heap on the bed in a fit of giggles, brought on by love. It was there in each other arms that they fell asleep wrapped in the cloak of their love. Though no amount of love Mathias could give her could protect her from her dreams . . .
*dream*
Scarlet held onto her child, Tatum to her bosom. As she ran from the laughs behind her. This couldn't be happening. Not now, not when she had everything she wanted. But she knew that it was, Jet always had a way of coming back to haunt her when she thought her life was perfect. He knew Scarlet so well, though she no longer knew him the way she use to. He had gone mad, of that she was sure. Why was it that he never seemed to die? She thought to herself as she ran. Her breath coming in terrified gasps. Though her terror was more for her little daughter Tatum, then herself.
"Scarlet come here dear. You can't run from me." He called into the night after her. He laughed, would, she never stop being like a corner cat, couldn't she just accept her fate? His laugh chased Scarlet as she ran.
"I'll never come to you Jet." She yelled behind her as she ran.
"Scarlet I'll find you, you can't hide, and you can't hide Tatum from me either." He shouted as he spied Scarlet's honey colored hair flare out behind her.
She stopped at the forks in the road, clearly debating what fork to take. That one moment of hesitation was going to cost her. A very hefty price, indeed very heavy. As he came to her, his hand sneak out covering her mouth. He whispered in her ear, 'I have you now.'
Scarlet screamed a blood curling scream.
*end dreams*
Mathias gentle woke Scarlet, "What is it?" he asked concern etched in his voice, and moving across the bond.
Tears rolled down her checks as she clung to him, "Oh it was horrible. I haven't had that dream in of so long."
Mathias cooed softly to her as he rocked her, "Its okay, its okay. He can't hurt you."
"I know, but it's just I fear him so much. It's ridiculous, isn't it?" she said softly, "I mean I know he's dead."
"No Scarlet, It's not you have every reason to fear him, even if you are supposed to be a fearless Aes Sedai."
Scarlet went to reply but nothing came out, instead she looked over Mathias shoulder at something that glittered there. A silver arch. Horror at what it meant dawned on her face, no, no not now. She didn't want to go back, she had everything she wanted here, in this place. "I just won't go." She whispered softly.
"What Scarlet?" he asked turning around to see what had her so transfixed.
"Nothing." She said unaware of the fact that he could see the arch. See it in all its glittering splendor.
"Scarlet I can see it, and you must go back." He said softly looking her straight in the eyes.
"You can see it?" she asked disbelieving, "But that's not possible." Since she knew that only she was supposed to be able to see the arch.
"It doesn't matter if I am supposed to see it or not. I can and I know what it means. You have to go back." He said pushing her gently toward the awaiting arch.
She dug in her heels and said, "No Mathias I don't want to go back. I have everything I want here!"
Mathias took her gently by the shoulders and said, "Scarlet this isn't real, You must go back. This is only an Illusion, not real and we both know this."
"Who cares if it is only an Illusion. It seems real enough to me."
He reached in his pocket taking out a gold locket, "I was going to give this to you at a later date but take it now. Go home Scarlet. Go and make your dreams came real. Go somewhere where it is not an Illusion."
"But you are here." She cried closing her hand around the locket.
"I'll be waiting for you. I promise Scarlet." He said and before she could get another world in he pushed her into the arch. He watched her disappear. A sad look in his eye for he had just sent the love of his life away. Even though it was for her own good. "I love you Scarlet." He whispered.
Scarlet felt the light rip her apart but she didn't feel a thing. A smile hovered on her face, for Mathias had sent her back. But it was okay, he was waiting for her. He said so himself. She tumbled out of the arch. The gold locket still was firmly enclosed in her hand.
"Where is he?" she asked as she came out of the arch. It shut off behind her, and as it did so did the truth. He wasn't waiting for. She remembered it now. All too clearly. They hadn't been together since she returned to the tower.
Her green eyes watered and she whispered, "He said he'd be waiting, that is the only reason I came back." She turned back around and hurled herself back at the arch.
She felt someone's hand on her shoulder. She looked up into the face of an Aes Sedai. Her green eyes were murderous as she met the other pair of eyes. "I hate you, all of you. I left them all of them. Aren, Kara, my family, Mathias, Tatum . . . " she trailed off for it was just then that it dawn on her, she had killed her unborn child by stepping through that arch.
It was that thought that was her undoing and she fell to the floor. All the tears that she had been holding back through this whole ordeal came. They came in torrents as she sat huddled on the floor as the ceremony was finished. Her only coherent thought was, 'Was it worth it?'As she opened the gold locket and saw Mathias and her together, looking happy. The inside was engraved with the words, 'I love you' Those three words made the tears come harder.
