Chapter 3 –

Jake

I considered my choices.

1) Die, just like I was about to.

2) Face my inner demons, and live if I was strong enough.

Only problem was, I didn't really feel like dealing with what was buried in my mind. All the indecision. All the battles and blood and gore. And that final decision I made that day orbiting earth in the Pool ship.

The one which had killed Rachel, or so I had thought.

The one that had definitely killed Tom.

So much indecision, and only ten minutes. Ten Minutes to review my entire life after that night in the construction site. To decide if I wanted to go on.

I knew what Rachel and Tobias would choose.

Pretty sure I knew what Marco and Ax would choose.

Cassie.

She was staring at me. I knew she wanted to talk, but…

Things between us just weren't the same. They hadn't been. Not after she had let Tom get away with the morphing cube. I had tried…

No. Not going there. I wasn't going to…

It was about this time that I realized Cassie was dragging me away from the group.

"Look, Cassie," I said. "I don't know what happened, but you obviously shouldn't be here. And frankly, I have nothing to say to you."

Then she smacked me.

"Jake, Listen to me. And listen to me carefully."

Cassie had tears welling up in her eyes.

"I fell off of El Capitan in Yosemite. I can't even tell you how many times I've climbed up that rock. I fell because I was thinking about YOU. Thinking how much I missed you. How much I was going to miss seeing you. How much I still love you."

Those two words hit me like a brick. Love You.

Love, well that had never been the problem.

Things had… just changed. I never had stopped loving her.

"I know you're mad at me about what happened that night. I'm mad at me because of what happened that night. It was so clear to me what would happen to you if Tom were killed. If you killed him. And in the end he still ended up dead. And so did we."

She swooped her hand to indicate the obvious. We were all dead.

"You can stay mad at me. I'm going to have to live with my decision for the rest of my life. Because of me, because of my actions, we all died. I took years away from Rachel's life, by forcing you to send her after Tom."

I looked at Rachel. She was busy making out with Tobias. Who didn't seem to be complaining too much. Couldn't blame him. In that moment, when he died, he had gotten his entire life back.

I had just gotten more pain and realization.

And if someone didn't pass this "test," It would be my fault. Again.

Cassie continued. "I don't expect you to forgive me. Because of me, you had to grow up pretty fast. And do it without me to lean on. You had to fight that war of your conscience by yourself. You had to make that final call without my support. The call that killed Tom and Rachel. I know that you still fight that battle in your mind everyday."

It was true. One thing Cassie had always been able to do was read me like a book. She knew that I lived that final battle over and over again, looking for another choice, another option.

"You did the only thing you could have. There were no other options. You did what a leader has to do, what leaders have always done. Condemned good, honest people to death, because there was no other choice. The only mistake you made was to let it consume you for the rest of your days."

She took a deep breath. I could feel the tears streaming down my face.

"I still love you, Jake. No matter what happens here today, nothing changes that. I still want to be with you for the rest of my life. I think…" Her voice got small, almost to a whisper. "I know that you do too. If we make it out of here, I want us to at least try to be a couple again. Because not having you in my life is tearing me apart."

I felt like my emotions had been stripped from me. She was right. About everything. My failure to see it to this point had just pulled me further and further away from what my heart told me.

I collapsed into Cassie's arms, sobbing. I felt her arms embrace me.

It had been so long since we had shared a moment like this. It had been so long since we had even really talked honestly to each other. What she had said, well, it was true. I still loved her. My anger and insecurity and pain had masked what had been there all along.

I kissed her. It brought a smile to both our faces.

I wanted to live.

****

Author's Notes: Yeah, it took me longer than I expected it to. Between writer's block and lack of time, as well as spending considerable time in a hospital room, it just took me longer than I expected. Plus, I wasn't really sure of how I wanted to shape the plot in terms of Jake and Cassie's reaction to seeing each other. The last Jake had known, Cassie was living happily with Ronnie on earth. I, however, couldn't resist bringing her into the fold.

As my friends would say, "If you're gonna' have a party, you better make sure you have enough icing to go on the cake."

Read and PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW A LOT!!!!!!!! I NEED FEEDBACK!!!!

Chapter 4 will hopefully be posted by 10 pm on August 2nd, 2003.