The Rival 07
Captain, My Captain
A/N: I know it's been another long delay and I apologise, but unfortunately real life must sometimes take precedent. There shouldn't be anymore long delays… I hope.
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"But why did you do it? You must have known they'd find you out?" Hoshi asked.
Andy sat down on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. He rubbed his hair agitatedly. "There was a chance they wouldn't... I don't know, I wasn't thinking too clearly. They were driving me mad. Living with them for all that time – I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't want to feel inferior. I didn't want them to continue to belittle us," he spat the words out. Hoshi saw the anger in his face.
"If you disliked it so much, why didn't you leave?"
"Because I thought I could help Earth. I thought that if I stayed I'd make them see we were capable of the same things they were… but after a while I realised there was only one way I could make them see that. And it meant we had to be on equal terms."
"So you stole information?" Hoshi asked, incredulously.
Andy looked up at her. "You despise me for it, don't you? I can tell by the tone of your voice… and that look on your face. Trip looked just the same way when he found out."
"Trip knows then?" Hoshi asked, her voice a little strange. "When did he find out?"
Andy shrugged. "A couple of days ago, what does that matter?"
Hoshi was pacing the floor in front of him. "About the same time you were taking me out to dinner then?" she asked sharply, realising. "Was that the same time you found out he had feelings for me?"
Andy managed a wry smile. "Oh - that I found out almost as soon as I came on board."
Hoshi hid her face in her hands. "This whole week…" She lifted her head and took a deep breath. "All this has been happening and I've had no idea. No wonder he's been so… poor Trip."
"Poor Trip?" Andy repeated, his voice betraying his annoyance. "I'm sorry, is he facing the death penalty too?"
"And I've been thinking it was because of me," Hoshi continued, ignoring Andy now. "I've got to speak to him."
"I thought you were speaking to me?" Andy asked slowly, his voice very low. "Please, Hoshi – show me some compassion. I'm lost."
Hoshi looked down at him, but somehow her eyes didn't see a broken man. "Andy, I'm sorry, but I don't know how I feel about what you did… I need to think."
"Don't you care what happens to me?" he asked, reaching for her hand, but she pulled it away from him.
"You should talk to the captain," she said. "He might have some of the answers you're looking for."
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Hoshi left Andy's quarters quickly. She felt a little uncomfortable being there. She'd learnt a lot of things about Andy Sawyer that day and it was all very confusing. None of it seemed to gel with the playful charmer she'd got to know the past few days. That, coupled with some very uncertain feelings about Trip, was making her feel pretty emotional. So lost in her thoughts, in fact, that she walked straight into Malcolm, almost without noticing.
"Oh, sorry," she said distractedly, as Malcolm ricocheted off her.
"Hoshi, hang on," Malcolm said quickly, putting an arm out to stop her walking off. "I wanted to have a word. The captain's not said much, but I know something's going on with Commander Sawyer and these Vulcans. You've been pretty chummy with him – do you know what's up?"
Malcolm's tone was gossipy and he didn't mean badly, but Hoshi really didn't want to get into that conversation.
"Sorry, Malcolm, but I can't say. I'm sure the Captain will tell you anything you need to know. Have you seen Trip, by the way?"
"He's in engineering," Malcolm began, "I've just come from there, hey, hang on, Hoshi… wait –"
But she'd gone already. Obviously in a hurry to speak to Trip about something. Malcolm watched her retreating figure with interest.
"Good luck," he said to no-one in particular.
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Eventually it was the door chime that interrupted Andy's thoughts. He'd been sat with his head in his hands ever since Hoshi had left, thinking things over in his mind. When he realised someone was at the door, he got up quickly and tried to gather his thoughts. He expected it to be Hoshi, or maybe even Trip. Not the captain.
"Hi, Andy," Jonathan greeted him as the door panel swung open.
"Captain," Andy nodded.
"Can I come in? I think there's things we need to talk about, don't you?"
Andy stepped aside to let Jonathan enter. Suddenly the cabin seemed a lot smaller. It was no longer a place to hide.
"I've got to give Captain Puruk an answer soon," Jonathan began solemnly. "I want to know what you've decided."
Andy looked at Archer carefully; Archer returned Andy's intelligent gaze with one of his own. "What do you think I should do, Captain?" Andy asked, with just a trace of the old easy manner; as if this were just another problem in engineering.
"I think your feelings are more relevant to this, Andy. It's you who have to face the consequences."
"You're still don't see any logic behind what I did, do you, Captain?" Andy asked with a shake of his head.
"You've committed a crime, a serious one."
"In your eyes," Andy said darkly. Then in a flash, the bravado was gone and his eyes widened as he contemplated his fate. "I'm not too proud to beg for my life," Andy said urgently, reaching out a hand to grip Jonathan's arm. "I know that you think I should give myself up and face trial – well alright," he saw Jonathan about to protest, " – you're not going to say, but part of you thinks that I should, at least. Because it's the only honourable thing left to do…" Andy shook his head slowly. "Maybe it is, but I'm not going to do it. I want to live, Jonathan! And not in a prison cell."
"Maybe you should've thought of that before you stole technology that wasn't yours," Archer was unable to stop himself saying.
"I was trying to help our planet – I was trying to make things better."
"Somehow I doubt the Vulcans will care too much about why you did it, Andy."
"Which is why I can't face trial in a Vulcan court," Andy said simply, with just a trace of irony. "They've offered me a way out, Captain, and I'm going to take it."
"If Admiral Forrest agrees," Archer reminded.
"The admiral will do what you recommend, Captain – you and I both know that. I'd hoped that you would respect my feelings."
"Diplomatically it's the right thing to do," Archer said. "The Vulcans were right about that."
Andy shrank back in surprise. "Well, it's nice to know you rate Vulcan diplomacy as the deal-breaker. Saving my life doesn't come into it, I suppose?"
Archer continued to look Andy in the eye without flinching. "You think I'm that petty?" Archer shook his head. "No. But you were right before, Andy," he said. "A part of me does think you should face up properly to what you've done. I'm seeing very little of anything resembling remorse coming from you. You say you were trying to help Earth, but you don't seem to realise you nearly ruined everything. If we'd lost our friendship with the Vulcans during this stage of the space program, everything could have been over. Not to mention the fact that what you did was just wrong. You're damn well lucky to have the choice of saving your life. But maybe I might have felt better if you'd agonised over it for just a minute."
Andy faced the captain without blinking. "I won't apologise for it."
"Then I guess there's nothing left to say," Archer said, breaking eye contact at last. "Except, perhaps, that if it's just your life you're so determined to save, Andy, think again about the trial. You could get sent to prison instead of the death penalty. I honestly believe the Vulcans don't want to kill you."
Andy gave the captain a withering stare. "Life in a Vulcan prison? Eating their food and surrounded by their superiority for ever more? Doesn't it say something that I'd rather spend my life on some unknown colony than doing that?"
"You might never see Earth again. You'll never be part of Star Fleet again."
"My ties to Star Fleet ended the day Enterprise left space dock," Andy sniffed, now standing by the window, his back to Archer. "Why do you think I left?"
Archer shook his head, honest in his answer when he said, "I don't know."
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"Damn it!" Trip slammed down the panel he'd been trying to fix and looked at his hand. There was a gash where the tool had slipped against it. Trip fingered it gingerly.
"You should put something on that," Hoshi's said gently, appearing suddenly in front of him. Trip just looked up at her. "Do you have a first aid kit?" she asked, looking round.
"Above that bench," Trip nodded to it.
Hoshi reached the box down from the wall and went through it, trying to find a cleansing strip and a bandage. She reached for Trip's hand but he pulled it away. "I can manage," he said gruffly.
Hoshi let him do it himself, but she sat down on an empty stool opposite him.
"What can I do for you, Hoshi?" Trip asked, realising she wasn't about to go anywhere.
"I was wondering if we could talk," Hoshi said slowly. "I've just been speaking to Commander Sawyer and –"
"Yeah, I saw you on the bridge, chattin' away in Vulcan. Very friendly."
"He's in a real mess, Trip," Hoshi tried again. "He wanted someone to talk to, but I don't think I… I wasn't the right person."
"If you're here to try and get me to go and console Andy or somethin', forget it. He's blown all his chances. He may have got you feelin' sorry for him, but I'm afraid he'll get no sympathy from me," Trip spoke harshly, dropping the bandage he was trying to fix. Hoshi reached down and finished wrapping it for him, not giving him the time to protest. When she'd finished her hand rested on his for a minute.
"That's not why I came here, Trip," she said gently.
"Why did you then?" Trip said, looking down at her hand.
"I came here to talk about you… and me." Trip looked up at her quickly, his eyes searching her face. "I found out earlier about Andy – about what's he's done I mean," Hoshi continued, only half-looking at Trip. "I found out when I had to encrypt a transmission to Star Fleet. Andy wanted to talk to me about, and so I listened. It's only then I started to realise what's been going on this week – why you've been so angry with Andy, when there I was, thinking it was all about me! And about… about how Andy knew you had feelings for me when he asked me out. Trip, I'm sorry."
"What for?" Trip asked, more kindly this time. "You haven't done anythin' wrong."
"I'm sorry for the way things have been between us since Andy arrived."
"Yeah," Trip sighed, "me too."
"Its not like us to argue like we have been. We've always got on so well," Hoshi said carefully, noticing Trip was watching her very closely now. He nodded his head slowly. "About what you said earlier, about having feelings for me," Hoshi's grip on Trip's hand tightened. "I just wanted you to know that I have feelings for you too… Strong feelings."
Trip looked straight up at that. "You do?"
"I have for ages," Hoshi said smiling. "I've been waiting and waiting for you to make a move on me, Tucker."
Trip grinned. "Oh."
"Is that all you've got to say?" Hoshi grinned back.
"Well I…" Trip was about to say something when one of the engineering crew past by. Trip immediately pulled his hand away from Hoshi's. "We can't talk about this here, Hoshi," he said, checking no one else was within listening distance.
"Where then?" Hoshi asked, still smiling, but Trip was looking serious.
"I'm not sure, Hosh, maybe we should put things on hold till this business with Andy's blown over. It'd give us some time to work out how we feel."
"I thought we'd just admitted how we feel," Hoshi said, frowning.
"Let's just take things slowly… ah, Hoshi, don't look at me like that. I'm not tryin' to avoid you. There's just a lot goin' on at the moment."
"It's fine, Trip, I understand," Hoshi said, as lightly as she knew how.
"Hoshi-"
"No, Trip, honestly, it's okay." Hoshi got up and started backing away from Trip. "We'll just… play it by ear." She was trying to shrug it off, but her efforts just made Trip feel even worse. "I'll see you later."
He let her go, there was nothing else he could do.
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The captain had left and Andy was alone again. Back with only his thoughts for company. He really wished Hoshi would come back, but she was probably with Trip by now… Andy had to confess he'd kind of shot himself in the foot with that one. Best not to play games with people when you're in the middle of an intergalactic-scale screw-up.
He paced up and down a bit more, but they were there on the table just staring up at him. Six data padds. He might even need more – the Vulcan padds had held twice as much information. He'd got them out after Jonathan had left – he wouldn't have been too happy to see them. They'd been careful to monitor all his uses of the ship's technology since finding out why he'd left Vulcan.
But these six data padds had slipped through the net and with them he intended to record some of the information he was harbouring.
Not knowing how much time he had aboard Enterprise, Andy pulled the first padd towards him and began.
To be continued… Please read/review!
