by Randall Boggs
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Chapter Three - Suspicions
The next morning, after having a cup of coffee and a day-old bagel, I headed for work. I still hadn't found the kid, but I also wasn't giving up that easily. I'm stubborn and anyone who knows me'll tell ya the same thing. So, my plan was to get into the building and do some heavy-duty detective work without tipping anyone off that this kid was mine. Pfft. Easier said than done, I'll tell you that right now.
Anyways, when I arrived that morning, I found the place absolutely FILLED with CDA agents. It was like a cockroach infestation -they were on the ceilings, skittering around on the main lobby, climbing the walls, popping out windows. . .it was just plain ridiculous. A few CDA agents were scanning the area and passing monsters with their "child detector" things. I thought it best to get out of there while they were distracted. I didn't need them poking into my privacy.
So, I attempted to slip past - acting as casual as I could, of course. But, unfortunately, it didn't throw them off. One of the annoying agents spotted me and made a beeline right for me. I just kept going, pretending I didn't notice him. Maybe, if I was lucky, he'd go away. Heh. No chance. He stopped me and I raised an eyebrow at him.
"What?" I asked, the annoyance showing up in my voice.
"Just scanning you for traces of child, sir," the agent said, scanning me with his contraption as he spoke.
I simply sighed with impatience and let him do his job. There was no fighting it, I knew, or it might make them think of me as "suspicious". I folded my arms, all the while thinking about what a good thing it was that I never touched the kid because, like I mentioned before, being decontaminated is painful if there's no fur to shave off. When he grabbed my tail and began to thoroughly scan it, I decided this was enough and jerked my tail out of his grip.
"I don't have time for this," I told him, proceeding to walk off down the hallway.
Man, those agents were simply crawling everywhere. You turned the corner and there they were, like hordes of plastic bees or something. They were decontaminating monsters left and right. I passed them quietly on my way to check out the locker rooms. Maybe I could find Fungus in there. I needed help with finding this kid before Waternoose found out I lost it. And Fungus was the only companion I could turn to for such a thing. Yeah. Unfortunate, but true.
I was only about a meter away from the Floor F locker room, when I was stopped (yes, yet again) by one of those CDA agents. He was holding a notepad and pencil.
"Sir, we need to know if you've seen a small child running around," he stated, holding his pencil at ready to jot down whatever I told him.
Unfortunately for the CDA, I wasn't telling him anything. "A child?" I asked, acting as if I didn't know what he was talking about. "Just look in the daycare, buster. There's a bunch in there."
"No," the agent insisted. "A human was found yesterday night roaming Monstropolis. We are looking for anyone with possible connections to this offense."
"Oh, a human?" I replied, still trying to be a convincing actor. "Well, that's a whole different matter. . ."
"Have you had any contact with it?" he asked, abruptly interrupting me.
I just shook my head. "Hey, sorry to disappoint ya, buddy," I replied. "But I haven't seen it. . .I'll tell ya what, though." I put my upper arm around the agent's shoulders and switched to a whisper. "I suggest you ask Luckey about it. . .he might know something. He's been acting kinda suspicious lately."
The agent's yellow head went up in surprise and he turned to look at Luckey, who was walking down the opposite hallway. He pointed accusingly. "Stop him!" he yelled. Before the guy could react, Luckey found himself buried under a pile of CDA guys.
I chuckled to myself, glad to be free, and headed into the mens' locker room. I turned to walk down the first locker aisle when ANOTHER agent popped out of nowhere. Don't ask me how they do that, but I should've seen that one coming. He began to approach me.
I sighed and turned towards the bathroom. Surely there weren't agents in there. I needed privacy. I needed a break. Still struggling to act cool and casual, the CDA agent got increasingly closer. Though, I'll admit, I felt more like a nervous wreck. I knew that, with a slight slip-up of words, they would suspect me as the offender and I'd be done for. Who knows what they'd do to me if they found out and I'm sure my boss wouldn't stop them from arresting me, either. So, I was stressed - really stressed. And I was in this conflict too deep to get out.
The agent came up to me, but I kept on walking. "Halt!" he demanded.
I obediently did what I was told, though not without giving out another annoyed look. "What now?" I muttered.
"We would like to know if you've seen anything suspicious lately," the agent said.
Now, how many times have I been asked that in the last five minutes? I headed for the bathroom again as I gave my reply. "Look. I've already told your buddies I haven't seen anything," I replied, my voice growing more impatient by the minute. Maybe it was the tension I was feeling. . .
Anyhow, he nodded. "Alright, carry on."
Aggitated and grumpy as I was, I waved him off and entered the bathroom. My tail silently swished behind me in a rythmic fashion as I made my way over to one of the sinks. I was SO glad to have some peace and quiet. It relaxed me somewhat. The stress I was under also seemed to be taking its toll. . .the CDA crawling everywhere. . .the pressure to find the kid. . .and not to mention the inevitability of having to tell Waternoose if I couldn't find it in time for his little test run. I splashed some water on my fronds to cool myself off - and so I could think straight.
Just then, guess-who runs in. "Randall!"
Of course, I was already on-edge as it was and that little creep nearly made me jump outta my scales. I jolted around to see who it was and, noticing that it was just Fungus, I lifted a hand to my chest, trying to calm my thumping heart. I rolled my eyes in further irritation and growled. Closing my eyes, I shook my head - partially scolding myself for getting scared over Fungus.
"Thank goodness! What are we going to do about the child??" Fungus went on, shuddering fearfully.
Oh yeah, Fungus, yell louder why don'cha, let everyone in the area know about my mistake and our involvement in an illegal activity. . .Idiot. I was considering grabbing that clipboard of his and shoving it in his open mouth, but I suddenly stopped everything. I thought I heard something. . .a slight squeaking noise maybe. . .I grabbed Fungus' helmet and immediately covered his mouth with one of my lower hands to shut him up.
"Shhht!" I said, looking around cautiously. "Shh, shh, shhht. . ."
With that, I vanished. I coulda sworn that no one was in there when I first entered. But if anyone was around, I'd make sure they'd pay for what they heard. I couldn't take the chance. I just couldn't. I bashed a few doors in furiously, hoping like crazy that there wouldn't be anyone I knew behind any of those stall doors. After hitting open and looking inside about six bathroom stalls, I raised a fist to bash in another, when Fungus suddenly stopped me.
My scare assistant ran up to me holding today's edition of the 'Monstropolis Horn'. "The front page! It's on the front page. . ." he exclaimed for all to hear. "The child. The one you were after. . ."
I clenched my teeth, my fists shaking. He didn't even give me the chance to check ALL the doors before speaking up. What if there really WAS someone in there?? I glared at my assistant furiously. "Will. You. Be QUIET?" I snapped in a more hushed tone, my eyes shifting around the room again to make absolutely sure no one was around. "Don't you think I'm aware of the situation? I was up all NIGHT trying to find it. . ."
"I - I - I did a simple calculation. Factoring in the size of the sushi restaraunt. . ." he said nervously (what else is new?), his voice rising as he went on. "The child. . .may have. . .ESCAPED!!"
I simply shook my head in disbelief as he went on, but I made myself listen patiently until he was finished. Still, I kept getting the feeling that he didn't get a thing I had said. It was like talking to a brick wall. Once he had finished, whimpering and hiding behind the newspaper, I put my two cents in.
"Yeah?" I said sarcastically. "Well, until we know for sure, we're gonna pretend like nothing's happened, understand? You just get the machine up and running. . .I'LL take care of the kid. And when I find out who let it out. . .they're DEAD!" Then I slammed the door beside me wide open, glancing out the other entrance as I did so. It slowly swung closed behind me, unbeknownst to me that my rivals and the kid were hiding directly behind it.
Fungus hid behind his newspaper, still staring at me. I eyed him and frowned, leaning into his face. "What are you still doing here?" I asked, snatching the newspaper from Fungus' hands and whacking him upside the head with it. "C'mon! Go! Move! Now!"
Fungus jumped again and began running out the door, me right on his tail (that is, if he had one). "Okay okay! Ow! ow! ow!" Fungus yelped. "I'm not here."
I sighed deeply, shaking my head as I watched him scramble out the locker room and into the MI hallway. He can be such a pain in the. . .uh. . .tail. Fungus may be a math whiz, but he sure lacks common sense - not to mention long-term memory or somethin'. I ran a hand through my fronds pensively, back to thinking of a way to find this kid in time. I finally settled on a bit of subtle detective work - starting on Scarefloor F. Somebody had to have let that kid out on purpose and, of course, whoever it was I deducted that would (most likely) be one of my fellow scarers or scare assistants.
I headed out the door past the girls' locker room and marched determinedly towards the Scarefloor. I was gonna get answers and I was gonna get them now. Just as I reached the entrance hall, some one bumped into me and subconciously I changed to a furry, purple-and-blue-spotted color.
"Ugh!" I groaned. Just by looking down at my "furry" body, I knew EXACTLY who I had run into. . .or more like, who had run into ME.
"It'll be somebody else's problem - not ours! She's out of out hair!" Wazowski was yelling, being dragged like a mop from Sullivan's tail.
I looked up at Sullivan and Wazowski, glaring at them in annoyance as they skidded to a stop. "What are you two DOING??" I demanded, throwing my arms downward and changing back to normal.
A slug-like worker slunk by us. "They're rehearsing for a company play."
So, Wazowski switched to his opera edition. "She's out of our haaaaiiirrr!"
It was my turn to be unamused. "Can it, Wazowski!" I snapped, not in the mood for his distractions. But suddenly, like a lightning bolt, Wazowski's words made something pop into my mind.
What was it that he was complaining about earlier when he said 'it'll be somebody else's problem'? That one phrase made my suspicions rise to alert level. They had to have known something. . .I immediately became casual, hoping I could get something out of this opportunity. I rubbed my chin, looking at the two as if I wasn't really trying to poke into anything personal - even though, in a sly way, I was.
"So," I said nonchalantly. "What do you think about that kid getting out, Sullivan? Pretty crazy, huh?"
Even I could tell Sullivan was forcing that grin of his. "Oh, yeah, crazy," he replied, chuckling nervously.
I decided to push onward, this was getting more interesting by the second. The newspaper Fungus had shown me came to mind so, in a subtle way, I thought I'd bring it up. "Word on the street is, the kid's been traced back to this factory. . ." I said, knowing that monsters had to be talking about this all over the city. Carefully, I snuck my point in. "You haven't seen anything. . .have you?"
"Uh. Well. Uh. . ." Sullivan stuttered unsurely.
Boy, he sure doesn't hide his secret very well, does he? Ding. Round two. Let's see if Wazowski can convince me. . .
Right on cue, the green eyeball ran in front of his speechless partner. "No. .no way. ." he cut in, smiling innocently as he put an arm around me. "But. If it was an inside job. . .Oh, I'd put my money on Waxford."
I stared at Wazowski skeptically. Then I shifted my gaze over to Roz' office window, where the guy was standing. "Waxford?"
"Yeah, the one at station six," Wazowski led me on. "Y'know. . .he's got them shifty eyes. . ."
That convinced me for the moment. It definately WAS possible that Waxford could have done it. I did see him hanging around the Scarefloor after-hours yesterday. Maybe he WAS the one. I set my jaw, staring at Waxford in determination, and stomped over there. "Hey, Waxford!"
Waxford turned around in surprise as I approached. "Er, what?"
"Look, if you know anything about this kid incident," I demanded in a hushed voice, trying to keep others from over-hearing as I waved the newspaper in his face. "Then I suggest you should tell me now - for your own health. . ." I loomed over the smaller monster angrilly. Maybe I could scare him into keeping the secret if he DID know and quietly handing the kid back over to me - without having to conduct a nasty confrontation.
It seemed to be working. Waxford cringed under the stern glare I was giving him. Already on a roll, I was about to push my threat further, when I heard Wazowski and his girlfriend yelling behind me. I turned to look at them. . .
"SUSHI?? You think this is about SUSHI?!?" Ceila screamed in outrage.
Wazowski noticed me staring at them and - probably in a last ditch effort to shut 'er up - he dipped her and gave her an. . .ick. .kiss. I could tell he was hiding something, since she slapped him for it. Pretty hard too, I might add. My eyes hardened for a moment, watching him forcefully kiss her, and I glanced down at the newspaper I had snatched from Fungus earlier. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. But I stopped. If I wasn't suspicious enough before this REALLY did it. . .
I quickly turned the newspaper on it's side and there it was - photograpic evidence of Wazowski's involvement in this mess. I knew he was part of it ever since I ran into them in the hallway! Blaming Waxford was, obviously, a distraction. He thought I was an idiot! Too bad I'm smarter than he thinks. . .
My head went up. "Wazowski!" I growled, glaring back at where he was standing. Looks like the little creep chickened out and ran off. . .because he was long gone.
Frustrated, I growled and threw my newspaper behind me into Waxford's face, stomping off into the main hallway. I felt like pulverizing Wazowski. Here I was, wasting my time, staying up all night looking for that kid (not to mention stressing out when I could find hide nor hair of it), and here he was with all the information I needed to find it! And if Wazowski was involved I knew Sullivan had to be not far behind. Why they did this to me, I didn't know. All I knew was that I needed answers and Wazowski was my best bet to get them.
With that in mind, I let my tongue slip out of my mouth to taste the air. For those of you who reptilian-impared, you might like to know that, like dogs use their noses, we use our tongues. And it works almost just as well, thank you very much. Anyways, I scanned the air for any indication of where the green gumball ran off to. When I finally picked up the scent, I vanished and slithered down the nearest hallway.
Wazowski would be sorry for underestimating my intelligence. . .
