Midnight and Regret
Yamato's blue eyes shot open though his body remained still. The room was cloaked in darkness which his eyes were unable to see through. The blind over the window remained closed and the only light that he could see was flowing in from the ridges of the blind, though it must have only been from the moon since it was still to early for the sun to even want to rise.
He looked around for his digital clock with its glowing numbers but remembered, only a moment later, that it was in the shop being fixed after Taichi, his boyfriend, had broken it. Taichi and Yamato had gotten into a fight earlier that day. The two of them had been dating for three years and have been best friends for longer… they had never fought like they had done earlier that day… not ever.
So many things were said, none of them nice, not a bit of it was meant but all of it hurt. In a fit of rage Taichi had even ran into their room and taken their alarm clock, throwing it out the window. It had been an anniversary gift from a close friend of there's. It was actually a gag gift which came with a card which, in turn, held the joke but, despite that, the gift had been quite useful to them ever since.
After a while of more yelling and hate filled words, Taichi stormed out of their apartment slamming the door on his way out. The moment Taichi left, Yamato was brought aware of how quiet the apartment was. He had stood, leaning against the counter, arms crossed, while fear filled thoughts roamed freely through his mind.
Thoughts of his parents divorce was at the top of his mind and worry of Taichi and himself turning into his parents scared him. He hadn't wanted to think about that then so he pushed his emotions to the back of his mind and concentrated on finding the fallen object.
He had searched for an hour or more for the alarm clock in the alley outside by the fire escape and when he had found it he brought it to the repair shop down the street since it had been still salvageable. He kept his mind occupied for most of the day, doing any little job he could find and each moment he was home he expected Taichi to come through the door and apologize. Of course he'd also offer his apology and they'd kissed, tell each other how much they didn't mean what they had said and enjoy the rest of there evening… of course that hadn't happened.
Eventually it had came time for Yamato to go to bed. It was late and he couldn't find even the slightest thing left to do. He had changed while keeping his mind successfully blank. He had put on one of Taichi's shirts, which were always too big for him. He often did this at night when Taichi was gone on a business trip or something. The smell of his lover always seemed enough to lull him to sleep at nights. Oh, how he wished it were the same that night. Even though his mind was kept blank while he got ready for bed, his mind refused him the peace he craved while he laid there, starring through the darkness towards the ceiling.
He was scared that this was one of the stepping stones to his and Taichi's separation or maybe the actual final event. It was past eleven and Taichi hadn't even given him a phone call. He wondered where the brunette was and wondered if he was alright. He wasn't sure if Taichi had rented a motel or stayed with a friend for the night, or worst, what if Taichi was out there walking and got mugged.
Taichi always had such a stubborn streak and would probably try to fight off someone if they tried to mug him. But what if the thief had a gun or a knife and Taichi was out there bleeding to death right now… He had shaken himself, and told himself not to be crazy, that his boyfriend was probably just at the bar or one of the earlier suggestions.
… Of course that might not be a good thing either… what if Taichi was waiting till the morning to come by and pick up his stuff, say a final good by to his three year lover because he knew he didn't need the selfish, bossy little blond around him anymore… because Taichi finally found all the reasons he needed to leave Yamato.
Taichi had earlier called him that. Selfish, bossy, even dumb. It had been all out of rage and he hated himself for calling Taichi many of the things he had, things he considered worst.
Yamato had told Tai he was intolerable, callous and he had called him dense as well along with other unjust comments in which he had not wanted to recall. When Taichi leaves me, it'll be my own, damn, fault. And with that final thought, he had cried himself to sleep.
But now, at some ungodly hour of the night, he was woken to the sound of the front door opening. Many thought coursed through his exhausted mind as his dry eyes stung when he gazed towards the bedroom door.
He couldn't see it, he could barely make out the light glow from under the door that had only just appeared there, but knew, out of habit, where it was. He heard a heavy footed person tromp through his house and smiled softly, affectionately, as he remembered giving Taichi hell for never taking off his shoes at the front door.
A moment passed and the sounds of his boyfriend, who he was sure it was, softened as the brunette removed his shoes.
Yamato considered going to greet his boyfriend and see if they were going to finalize there relationship but couldn't find the courage. He tried for a fleeting moment to imagine himself without Taichi but shook his head, not even wanting to think about it.
Yamato heard footsteps down the hall leading to the bedroom and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. He lay quietly on his side, hair covering his eyes one hand tucked around his midsection while the other lay exposed in front of him.
Out of sheer self-conscience he pulled his hand into the too-long sleeve and pulled the cover over his shoulder to cover himself more completely.
He felt his body go rigid as the door handle was touched lightly but forced his body to relax as the door started to open. Tai's breathing was what he heard first. The steady deep breaths of his boyfriend were a calming sound he loved listening to while going to sleep each night.
The light from the hall was shielded by Tai's body for the moment as the brunette stood at the door. Yamato wondered what the brunette was waiting for and his stomach turned while a thought that Taichi might be giving the room a last look over nearly made him wince.
Taichi finally moved out of the way and the blond forced himself to not scrunch up his face as the light came pouring in on him but the door was then lightly closed until only a slice of light still remained in the room.
He heard Tai's heavy feet lead him to his dresser and the brunette opened it. Yamato felt his eyes prick with fresh tears. Was Taichi packing his bags now? Could he not even wait till morning?
The sound of fabric against fabric filled the silence and after a short time the dresser draw closed. Yamato waited to hear the next one open, for the brunette to continue his process, but more silence reigned.
Not knowing what his lover was doing ate away at his nervous system and the urge to open his eyes grew strong. Despite this, he did not give away his true state; at least he wouldn't for the time. He was hoping, hoping with everything he had, that something would give away Taichi's true intensions and that his intensions were to Yamato's favor.
Taichi sighed. Yamato wasn't sure why but didn't give it much thought as he heard the footsteps getting closer. When they were less then a foot away they stopped.
A warm hand lightly touched his forehead and brushed back his golden hair from his face and, ever so lightly, tucked it behind his ear. The hand traveled from his ear, traced down his neck, over his shoulder, down his side and came to a rest on his sloping waist.
Taichi had sighed again and whispered something that could be easily mistaken for the words 'so beautiful…' but Yamato wasn't sure so didn't raise his hopes. The floor creaked as Tai moved his weight while keeping his hand on Yamato's waist. Yamato found the urge to open his eyes, again, to know what Taichi was doing but just as he was about to, the feel of warm breath against his face made him want to keep his eyes closed and savor the feeling.
A kiss was placed on his lips so lightly he barely felt it. He felt Tai's hand that had been resting on his waist, travel back up his side and cup his cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Yama-Chan. So sorry. I love you so much. More then you could ever know. I didn't mean anything I had said. I was just angry. I'm so sorry." His breath washed over Yamato's face as the brunette talked and Yamato couldn't keep his eyes closed any longer.
Taichi jumped slightly, startled, as he saw the sorrowful gaze of the boy he had believed was asleep. "I love you too, Tai-Chan. And I'm sorry. I never meant anything I had said. Don't believe what I said because none of it was true. I was so scared you were going to leave."
Tai's look of shock turned to one of grief or possibly regret before he dipped his neck to kiss Yamato's full pale lips again. Yamato kissed back and stared at Taichi's kneeling form when they pulled back.
"Promise me we'll never turn out like my parents." Tai's eyes stared unwaveringly at Yamato's blue crystal orbs.
"I promise." Yamato then reached out for Taichi's arm and tugged the man's arm closer.
"Come to bed now Taichi." The brunette smiled and kissed his lover on the forehead.
"I need to get dressed first." He stood and retrieved the pajama pants he had just taken out of his dresser. Yamato smiled and tipped his head to retrieve another kiss and received one, a light quick one, before his boyfriend continued to dress in the dark. Yamato was grateful that the light was not going to be turned on so his eyes wouldn't sting and with the darkness and the late, or early, hours he found himself falling back to sleep.
He felt himself start to sink into the mattress as his whole being relaxed completely. As he felt himself falling into unconsciousness a pair of arms encircled him and brought him back into a form he recognized as his boyfriend.
A small smile found way onto his lips as comfort filled his being and sleep clogged his mind.
A/N: There's my poor excuse for a story. *sigh* oh well. I got so distracted while writing this. Three days it took me to write this and it's not even four pages. Sad really… What's with my attention span lately?
Disclaimer: I don't own digimon.
