Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Chapter One. Letter

" Jean...Jean get up," he spoke above her.

Growling in frustration he resulted to finally shaking her awake, when calling her name didn't work. He heard her groan in irritation, from being pulled from her peaceful sleep. Rolling his eye's as she pulled the pillow over her head and snuggled back beneath the covers, falling asleep once again. Jeez she sure sleeps like a rock, how in the world did one eye ever get her up in the morning? He thought to himself as he pulled the pillow off her head.

Jerking awake she sat strait up from the soft bed, finally up she looked around the room like she didn't know where she was for a second then her eye's widened at the shock at finding out that she wasn't in her room. But instead sharing a bed with Logan, her head snapped to her side to look at him, shock written all over her face. Her red hair whipping all around her, falling to cover her bare breasts.

"Oh my god...what… happened last night?" she asked in a shaky voice. Almost as if she didn't want to know.

Sighing he looked around the room, His eye's ran across the room, running over the mess of clothes scattered every where. Then they traveled back to her, his eyebrow raised as if to say, that she should know what had happened.

Hearing her groan again, she laid her head in her hands as she cursed herself. He sighed again as he laid back against the head board, reaching towards his table next to the bed he pulled out a cigar, lighting it he inhaled and released a cloud of smoke into the air. 'Jesus what the hell was I thinkin last night? I know I had a few beers and so did she but...oh god!' then panic struck him as a another thought entered his mind, 'what if Marie find's out she'll never forgive me for this. I messed up big time I hope I can explain what had happened,' he was dragged out of his thinking when Jean leaped out of the bed.
He watched her run across the room, gathering her scattered clothing, and hastily pull them on. He heard her curse once again at her stupidity, looking up at him she glared at him like it was his fault.

Standing in the middle of his room, fully dressed she spoke crisply, " I don't think we should tell people about this."

He nodded, and thanked god that she agreed with him about not letting people know, 'maybe then Marie wouldn't find out'…he thought. A slight feeling of guilt for her rose up as she left the room with out looking back. The hazy memories of last night rolled into his mind, her and one eye where taking a break because they couldn't figure out when to set the date. She was sitting in the kitchen drinking, when he happened to walk by. Instead of walking by like he should have, he stupidly decided to walk in and hassle her a bit, like in the old days, when he was really pursuing her. That had been a mistake for soon he was sitting down and drinking with her as she told her story. Soon they where both drunk, Logan having slugged down to much beer at once, which soon led to kissing. And well you can tell where the kissing ended them up at.

'Now thing's are fucked up because I was to stupid to just walk on by. Jeez I hope she doesn't find out… and if she does I hope she can forgive me.' Getting up he pulled on his boxer's and a pair of loose fitting pajama pants on his lean but muscular form. Running a hand through his bed tousled hair he made his way to the bathroom, and flicked on the light looking into the mirror, he flinched at seeing himself. Guilt was still written all over his face, a face that never aged as long as he could remember it's been the same rough beaten down face.

Looking away with a depressed sigh, he started to brush his teeth as he thought about Marie. 'It's not like I should really be feeling guilty, I mean after all…she's not even mine. They weren't together...they where just friends. Besides I'm way to old to be with her, for christ sakes I could be her fuckin grandpa for crying out loud!! She'll just have to understand that anything between them wouldn't work. Spitting the disgusting taste of toothpaste out of his mouth, he took one more quick glance at himself before he left…'how old am I?' He thought.

Stopping in front of a brown dust filled dresser, he reached into an open drawer and pulled out a white tank top and quickly pulled it on, and headed out of his room to breakfast. A strong, very strong sense of dread hit him as he neared the kitchen full of students and teachers alike and he would be forced to see her…Jean. But mostly he dreaded at having to come face to face with…Marie. Having to see her trusting face full of happiness at just being near him, the love he knew she felt for him shining in her chocolate eyes. Just as he was about to enter the kitchen, he was side tracked when the professor called out his name you please come to my office right now...there is something you should hear..." came his glum voice inside his head.

Answering a mental yes, he headed that way. Wondering why he wanted to talk to him right away and why his voice had sounded so sad. Shaking his head in wonder as he walked along the busy halls, watching out as annoying kids ran down the halls not caring where they where going, and countless times almost running into him. Reaching the door he heisted for a second when he smelled the room reeking of sadness. Realizing that it wasn't something good that he was about to hear, he wasn't to sure he wanted to know what it was anymore. But then he thought that it might have something to do with Marie.

Pushing the door open he walked inside, there he looked over all the faces of the x-men. Each of them had solemn faces, nobody could look him in the eye, except Jean but it was only for a moment then her eyes skittered away in guilt. He seen the look in her eye and knew right away that it wasn't good, turning to the professor he waited for the bad news to come. Dreading the seconds that ticked by, as the professor still didn't tell him what happened.

Finally he cleared his throat and held his hand out towards him. In it was a piece of white paper but, that's not what caught his eye. It was the glint of a sparkle as the light hit of a shinny gray piece dangling from the folds of the letter. He flinched as he saw what it was, reaching a shaky hand out he just stared at it while his mind went blank.

"Logan...as you can probably tell by now...that it deals with Rogue. Last night while everyone was asleep she left. All we found this morning was this note on her pillow and this which belongs to you laying on the ground. I think you better read the note it's addressed to you."

Nodding his head as he half listened to what was being said to him, he opened the note after he put his necklace on. It felt weird being on him, after so long resting along Marie's graceful neck. Holding his breath he opened the letter slowly, half afraid of reading the it's finely printed letters. Scared that he already knew what was going to be said he read it anyways.

Logan,

As you probably already know I'm not there. Maybe it's better this way. I won't be in your way anymore and then you'll be free of the promise you made me. I hope your happy with the choice you made. Please don't feel guilty about making it, that's not the reason why I left. There's plenty of them. I just never fit in there, I was always on the out side no matter what I never felt part of the 'group'. So please don't come after me like last time because you felt guilty. I left on my own choice, I just want you to know that I love you. Even though you couldn't share the same feeling's. Not that I blame you of course. I mean who would want to love someone they couldn't touch? I'm happy if your happy, that's all I want you to know. I'm sure Jean will take wonderful care of you. I have to go now before people start waking up.

Rogue

P.S. Don't come after me...please I couldn't bear to see your face again it would hurt me so much more then I already am.

He couldn't feel anything as the words processed through his mind, gone…not coming back...love's me?...She knew and that's why she left. Oh god he could fell the sadness just seep into him, he just lost the one person who he cared for the most. The only person who he trusted and respected and now she was gone because he fucked up! He cursed himself, as he just stood there thinking of a life with out Marie. He shuddered as the image of him being alone with out her cheery face and bubbly laughter came into his mind, and he knew that that was something he could never live with out.

It was the same feeling as when he was stuck at the statue and he was helpless as her screams filled his head for somebody to help her when Magneto tried to kill her. It scared him, that feeling of being helpless, not knowing what to do. With out realizing it his hand had crumpled the letter in his large hand. He growled low in his chest and with out looking at any of them, he turned around and left the office. The letter dropping to the ground as he tried to hide the agonizing pain he felt, at the loss of Marie, at not having her near him.

A/N: Well…sense going through my first chapter of this story I realized how much of a crappy author I was back then…I still probably am but jeez…how did you guys think this was a good story!? Oh well R&R please with any comments you may have or questions.