All characters belong to their respective creators / film companies / etc. and are used without permission. This story may only be distributed on a non-profit-making basis.
Work in Progress. If you like this story, check out my other stories on the Fanfiction Net, Twisting the Hellmouth, and Fonts of Wisdom websites. Other sites please ask before using.
by Marcus L. Rowland
XV
"Let's make sure I've got this right," said Spike, "Warren's running around with a gun and robo-bimbo's gone robo-Rambo after him? And he's already shot her?"
"April's a lot more than a bimbo," said Dawn, "Willow thinks that she's learning to think like a real person. So do I, I guess."
"Well, if it's a toss-up between April and bloody Warren I'd pick April any day. Trouble is that I can't hurt sodding Warren."
"I think Buffy thinks that you'll scare him off if he's anywhere around. We don't think Warren knows about the chip."
"Oh, he knows, but he doesn't know what it does."
"How does he know?"
"Remember, Warren? The guy who built the Buffybot? Only scientist I knew who wasn't trying to kill me or mess up my brain? Back before anyone bothered to tell me that Warren and his mates were giving Buffy a hard time I thought the chip wasn't working properly and went to see him, made him check it out. He ran some sort of testing machine over my head, said it was fine, but he didn't know what it was and I didn't tell him."
"Was that when you found out you could hurt Buffy?"
"Yeah. I thought it might be going wrong, wanted to make sure I wasn't going to start hurting people again." It wasn't the precise truth, but it was close enough for Spike's purposes.
"You wouldn't do that!"
"I dunno, give me the right person and a nice bottle of chianti and I might start." He looked at Dawn and pretended to lick his lips.
"You've been watching 'Silence of the Lambs' again," Dawn said, completely unafraid.
"Always did like the classic comedies. Anyway, Warren didn't know what the chip was, but he may have figured it out since then. If he had I think he would have been here offering me some sort of deal, like if I killed Buffy he'd deactivate it completely, but it could be he knows and just never got round to doing anything about it."
"Maybe."
"Don't worry, I'll do my best to protect you, I guess I can try to take his gun away without hurting him or something."
The door scraped open and Spike scuttled back from the evening sunlight, ready to try to fight if it was Warren. Instead Buffy came in, hugged Dawn, then turned to Spike and kissed him. Dawn shrugged and pushed the door closed, and waited patiently for them to break.
"This is nice," Spike said eventually, "but I think we'd better get to work."
"Oh.." said Buffy, coming back to reality. "Right."
"How did it go with Willow?" asked Dawn, "Did she get her memory back?"
"Yes, and we've sort of worked out what happened."
"Sort of?" asked Spike.
"It's really complicated. The important part is that she's changed the past, saved Tara from Warren, now we have to make sure that he doesn't kill anyone this time around."
"I don't understand," said Dawn. Buffy tried to explain.
"So Willow's been an alien and a sodding vengeance demon and her own bloody mother and father and the hell hound that had me worried a few weeks ago? All at the same time?" asked Spike.
"That's about it."
"I always said that there was more to Red than met the eye, but this is bleeding ridiculous."
"She's trying to cope with it all, but she's terrified that Warren will get to Tara or someone else before this is over."
"Where are the witches anyway?"
"At home. Willow's parents are guarding the house."
"I thought you said.."
"Willow can give them verbal commands, without a Baltian at the controls they're about as smart as the original Buffybot."
"That's creepy," said Dawn.
"Willow wanted to activate the seventies versions too, but they weren't charged up or something."
"Okay, now that one would really creep me out. Willow's dad as the Fonz."
"So what's the plan?" asked Spike.
"Jay and Kay are waiting outside the cemetery, they said they'll take Dawn home before they head off for New York. Now that they know the score with Willow's.. um.. mom they've got to report back. Dawn, I sort of trust them but don't let either of them use that neuralyzer gadget on any of you before they go. It looks like a pen, and Willow said they put dark glasses on before they used it. You see anything like that, cover your eyes and kick them where it hurts. Once they're gone I want you to sit down with Willow and Tara while Willow's memory is still fresh and find out everything she can remember about Xander's wedding and anything else that's going to happen over the next few months, if she isn't too tired. But try not to remind her about the other stuff she remembers that hasn't happened, especially Tara getting killed."
"And see if she can remember any lottery numbers or winning horses or baseball scores while she's at it," said Spike.
"Why me?" asked Dawn, "Don't you think someone else could do a better job?"
"You've spent a lot more time with Willow and Tara than I have over the last six months or so, what with me being dead and all. I think you might be able to dig a little deeper without upsetting her, maybe think of questions that wouldn't occur to me."
"You sure this isn't just an excuse to get me out of the way?"
"Well... okay, I really don't want you anywhere near Warren and guns, but I think it's important to get after those memories before they fade, and it can't be me because someone needs to stop Warren and April from killing each other."
"Buffy... I like April, but she's a robot."
"I know. But she's at least as human as Warren in my book."
"Can't argue with that. Has someone warned Anya and Xander to keep clear?"
"Called them on the way, they're going to spend the evening at home."
"Adding to demon-girl's orgasm count, I'll wager," said Spike.
"That's one bet nobody's stupid enough to take," said Dawn.
"It's dark enough for us to head out," said Buffy, "let's get moving."
"You want to hurt a witch?" asked Rack.
"Yeah..." said Warren, looking round Rack's sanctum and guessing that he'd never got over the sixties. "Interfering bitch, I think she's put some sort of hex on me. Everything I try to do keeps going wrong."
"I can feel it... your destiny. The more you fight it, the worse it becomes."
"Yeah? Well, mister Glock and I have other ideas, and I've got some dead presidents for you if you help me."
"You want a way to get to her, a way past her defences?"
"That's right."
"This witch.. Willow?"
"Yeah.. how did you know?"
"I felt her power today. She knows now, knows that you're linked, and that she has to stop you. Her friends know too, the vampire and the Slayer."
"Spike?"
"Who else?"
"No problemo, I've got a fix for him. Same for the Slayer, she's not bulletproof."
"Then your problem is Willow. I can give you one chance, a way to get past her defences, but there are no guarantees."
"I'll try it, I can't go on like this."
Rack produced a small porcelain bottle, a knife, a pestle and mortar and some herbs. "Cut your finger, put a little blood into the pestle."
"Okay.. ouch."
"You'll live." Rack ground herbs into the mortar and seemed to concentrate. Gradually the mixture began to glow, and he poured a stream of bright blue fire into the bottle. "Drink this just before you go to the witch. She won't see you coming."
"WilkinsAlley,justwestofAureliusStreet.Lookfortheairfeelingweird." Willie screamed as Buffy and Spike walked into his bar.
"What?" asked Buffy.
"Wilkins Alley, just west of Aurelius Street. Look for the air feeling weird."
"And that would be because...?"
"That's where Rack is."
"And the Slayer wants Rack because...?" asked Spike.
"That really strong chick was headed that way. After she tore up the bar, about fifteen minutes ago."
"Told you I smelled her. And why would the lovely April be going there?"
"She's after that Warren guy."
"Okay," said Buffy, "did Warren say why he was going there?"
"Uhh..."
"You know, the seats here look lopsided with one missing. Should I take one from the other side to match the space?"
"No, it's fine..."
"You sure now?"
"Positive.. uh, he said he was after something to get past a witch's defences."
"And you told him Rack could help?"
"How would I know? I just wanted to get rid of the creep when he started waving a gun around."
"You didn't think of maybe calling the police? No, stupid question."
"If I start calling the police how many customers am I going to keep?"
"Looks like none right now," said Buffy, looking around the empty bar. "Where is everyone anyway?"
"Most of them split when that freak started ripping up the seats, the rest beat it when someone guessed you'd probably come in next."
"Figures. If you see Warren again call me, you've got my number. Otherwise I may have to rethink remodelling the bar."
The door to the inner room flew off its hinges, and Rack looked up to see a girl standing in the entrance.
"Mister Rack? My name's April, I'm looking for Warren, can you help?"
"Hello, honey, who are you? Or maybe I should ask, what are you?"
"Someone looking for Warren, can you help?"
"Warren... Can't say I know a Warren."
"Can't or won't?" asked April, coming closer.
"That'd be telling."
"I really do want Warren," said April, picking Rack up by the lapels.
"What are you? Let me have a little taste..." Rack put his hands to April's head and cast the spell that let him sample his victim's memories. A second later his eyes rolled back in their sockets and he began to murmur "1011010010101001 0100101010001000 0100010010001111..."
April listened for a minute or so, then said "Thank you", dropped him onto a bean bag chair and walked out.
"Okay," said Dawn, "so you think a stranger talks to Xander at the wedding and he just walks away?"
"Got to be some sort of spell," said Willow. "Or maybe a demon's thrall, like Dracula. Don't think I ever quite knew the full story."
"D'you think Anya's ex-boss sets it up?" asked Tara
"No, but I'm pretty sure he isn't unhappy about it. I know that in some of the lives I remember she goes back to being a demon."
"Damn," said Dawn. "Okay, it's Buffy's birthday in a few days, and the wedding's a couple of weeks after that, so we've got about three weeks to find a way to fix this. Preferably without messing up the wedding."
"Oh, and Anya picks the most awful green dresses you can imagine for us to wear. That's something we need to head off now, before it's too late."
"Good idea," said Tara, "but I think the whole getting Xander to the altar thing has to take priority..."
"This must be it," said Spike as he and Buffy walked through the wall into Rack's outer office. "I think April beat us here. I can smell the burnt plastic again, like I did in the bar."
"The broken door gives it away too," said Buffy, looking into the candle-lit inner room. "Anyone in here?"
"I can hear someone muttering," said Spike.
Buffy went in, and found him slumped on the bean bag. "This Rack?"
"Yeah, that's him. Nasty piece of work, gets his kicks messing up people's magic and drinking their memories."
"I think he tried it on April. Listen..."
"1111010010101001 0101101010001000 0110010010001101..."
"Wonder how long that'll last?" said Buffy.
"Who cares? With luck the bugger'll stay like it. Let's get after Warren."
"You're all heart, but there isn't really much we can do here. Let's go."
"Hello Warren," said a familiar voice a couple of blocks from Buffy's house. Warren turned, knowing what he'd see. April, walking towards him with a slight wobble in her gait.
"Die, you bitch!" He shot her, aiming for the fuel cells again, but this time wasn't as lucky. The bullet spanged off metal and ricocheted into the distance. Another shot fared no better. Warren turned and ran. April ran a rapid systems check, realised that her fuel cells were running low, and reluctantly headed back towards Rovello Drive.
"Did you hear a shot?" asked Buffy, breaking into a run.
"Two," said Spike. "Back towards your house." Buffy hit top speed, and Spike loped after her, slowly losing ground.
They ran into Rovello drive and saw April crossing the street towards the house. "April," Buffy shouted, "have you seen Warren?"
"That way, about two hundred metres. He ran off. I was unable to stop him, and I must recharge."
"Well done," said Buffy, "I think maybe you scared him off."
"I hope so. I will try to help more when I have recharged."
Sarah Rosenberg came out from behind a tree near the house, one Buffy had often used to climb into her bedroom before her mother knew she was the Slayer, said "Buffy, I'll look after her" in Willow's voice, and helped April inside.
"That's creepy," said Spike, "Red must be running her by remote control."
"If it helps keep Warren away it's fine by me. Talking of Warren..." She headed off in the direction April had indicated, and Spike followed.
"I can smell the bugger," Spike said a minute or so later, and began to cast around like a bloodhound. "This way." He led Buffy further away from the house, and into the commercial zone near the Bronze.
"I thought you'd find me," Warren shouted from the far end of an alley, covering Buffy with his gun. "Spike, you know the chip in your head, the one that stops you from killing the Slayer?"
"What about it?"
"I know how to jam it. Feeling hungry?"
"Funny you should say that..."
Warren held up a black box in his other hand, and pressed a button. A red light flashed, and Spike felt a mild tingle in his head.
"Bon appetit," Warren shouted, and watched expectantly.
Spike morphed to vamp face, smiled at Buffy, and turned towards Warren. "Thanks. You know something, mate?"
"What?"
"That chip... it doesn't stop me from hurting Buffy, just everyone else. Even scum like you." He suddenly shifted to top speed, and closed on Warren in seconds.
Warren dropped the box, took a wild shot and hit Spike in the hip, and ran for his life.
Spike shouted "Bugger!" and collapsed, scooping up the box and hiding it in a pocket as he went down. Buffy ran up and took him in her arms.
"Well get after him you twit," said Spike, "I'll be okay in a few minutes."
"You sure?"
"Don't worry, I'm fine." Buffy quickly kissed him and headed after Warren.
"Be careful," shouted Spike, "He's out of his sodding mind." He patted his pocket and grinned. Not that he particularly wanted to hurt anyone right now, Warren excepted, but it was always nice to have the option.
Buffy heard a clatter from another alley, guessed it might be Warren, and leaped for the second-story roof of a shop that overlooked it. A burglar alarm began to ring and Buffy swore. Down below Warren heard the alarm, looked up, and fired another shot towards the roof. Buffy dived for cover, landing in a tangle of wire netting intended to keep pigeons from nesting on the roof. By the time she was clear Warren was gone.
Warren trotted back towards Rovello Drive, listening for sounds of pursuit, and sheltered behind a bush a few doors away from Buffy's home. He reloaded the gun, steeled himself for action, and drank the potion with a shudder. He could feel it burning in his throat as he ran towards the house. Things seemed to be distorting, and somehow the world seemed to be growing around him. The last few yards seemed to stretch to infinity. A few feet from the door something huge seemed to scoop him from the ground. To his horror he realised that he was being held in a pair of gigantic hands.
Willow looked up as 'Sheila' came into the house, carrying the tiny kitten she'd seen on her monitor, and squealed as she took it from the body suit's hands and gently kissed it. "You're so cute! What a sweet little girl! What are you doing out by yourself?"
Bitterly Warren realised that Willow was completely at his mercy. Apart from a small matter of size...
Dawn peered at the kitten and said "Ten out of ten for cuteness, two out of ten for observation, it's a Tom. Does look a bit like Kitty Fantastico, I guess. Can we keep him?"
"I don't see why not," said Willow, "but we'd better check with Buffy first."
"Better put him in a box in the cellar for tonight," Tara said, "give him some time to get used to us, we must be scaring him. And we need to work on April, if you keep him up here and play with him you know we won't get anything done. I'll take him to the vet in the morning, he'll need shots, and we'd better get him fixed before he gets any lady cats pregnant. Hey, I think he understood that..."
Warren leaped from Willow's hands and bolted through the door which 'Sheila' had left slightly open. Dawn made to go after him, but Willow said "No, it's too dangerous out there with Warren on the loose, he'll have to fend for himself. Maybe we'll catch him tomorrow."
"I guess," said Dawn, shutting the door. "Hope he'll be okay out there."
In the street a passing figure sniffed, smelled kitten, and set off in pursuit. Clem was in the mood for poker, and a nice fresh kitten would give him the stake he needed to play.
To Be Continued
