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Work in Progress. If you like this story, check out my other stories on the Fanfiction Net, Twisting the Hellmouth, and Fonts of Wisdom websites. Other sites please ask before using.
by Marcus L. Rowland
XVIII
"When did we start throwing people to the monsters?" asked Tara. "Was there a memo I missed or something?"
"What do you mean, sweetie?" asked Willow.
Tara looked around the Magic Box and realised that nobody there was following her line of thought. "I hate to say this but Buffy's just told us that Warren's been dragged off by demons and we're not running out to rescue him, we're celebrating."
"But Warren killed you, honey..."
"Not in this universe. I'm sorry, Willow, I know you're trying to protect me, but in this timeline about the worst we can say about him is that he's been a nuisance and committed a few crimes, the worst of which haven't really hurt people much. Since April's been repaired and Spike and Buffy are sitting at this table staring at me like I've grown two heads I can't really say that he deserves an agonising death."
"She does sort of have a point," Xander said slowly.
"I know," Buffy said eventually. "I think we've been so hung up on chasing him that we've forgotten our sense of proportion. He's a nuisance, maybe a threat, but with the precautions we're taking he's just not that big a deal."
"Bloody hell," said Spike, "I've heard of being unselfish but this is ridiculous. My arse still hurts and I'd be in a sodding wheelchair if I wasn't a vampire, April nearly caught fire and set the house on fire when she was shot, and you'd be dead if your reflexes were any slower. I say that the best thing we can do is cheer them on and hope they take their own sweet time killing him."
"Yeah, but you're kinda a soulless monster," said Xander. "Sorry, I know you and Buffy are getting on well, but I don't think we can trust your judgement in things like this."
"Maybe you're right," said Dawn. "Not about Spike, I know he's just angry and doesn't really mean it..."
"Like hell I don't," muttered Spike.
"...but we have to live with ourselves... uh, most of us do anyway... and I think we have to give rescuing him a shot. Of course you can still beat him up and arrest him afterwards."
"There shouldn't be that much danger from Warren," said Buffy, "they broke his gun when they took him. It's Shark and his friends that we have to worry about."
"Okay," said Willow. "If you really think that this is the right thing to do, then do it... just count me out. I'm staying with Tara, and we're both gonna stay well clear of Warren. That all right with you, honey?"
"Sure," said Tara. "I'm not suicidal, and I love you for what you've done for me, but I want to make sure that we don't throw away our principles."
"Okay," said Buffy, "I think Spike and I can handle it, we've dealt with those guys before. Spike, are you ready for this?"
"I guess," he said grumpily. "Suppose I might get to hit some of the Shark's boys."
"Xander, can you drive everyone else home? I'd rather not have people walking until this is settled."
"Sounds good to me. You ready, honey?"
"What?.. how about light blue?" said Anya, holding out another picture from her bridal magazine.
"That's kinda nice," said Dawn, "and it wouldn't clash with Willow's hair or your vengeance demon friend's veins. The skirts are nice too."
"Yeah," said Willow, "that'd look good, I think it's the best choice for everyone." The other bridesmaids agreed.
"Finally," said Anya, "Something that everyone likes - let's hope that Halfrek agrees when she sees it. Okay, I'll place the order tomorrow. Xander, did you want something?"
"I said, are you ready honey? To go home?"
"Why wouldn't I be? Has someone been saying I don't want to, because..." Xander interrupted her with a kiss, then said "Okay, let's move it."
"Well, that was a waste of time," said Buffy as they left Dave's Bar and Grill. Behind them they could hear the moans of a couple of customers who had thought that a small blonde would be a nice snack, and the gentle patter of dust settling down from the vampire who had tried just a little too hard.
"Might have known they wouldn't bring him here," said Spike, "Shark wants this place clean so that he can run his poker games without being disturbed by the law, and he knows that you know that he uses it."
"If he thought I knew that that he was underestimating how drunk I was the night that we were here. Okay, any bright ideas on where they might have taken him?"
"Well, Clem's place is closest but it's pretty small, there'd be no room for Warren and Shark's men. I doubt he'd want a hand in it anyway, from what he told me he scored a couple of kittens in all the confusion, if anything he'd be grateful to Warren. Besides, he isn't the violent type."
"What sort of demon is he anyway? I know he was one of the ones at the poker game I saw, but I don't know the names for them."
"He's the guy with loose skin and floppy ears, damned if I know what he is. He's not evil or anything, he just scratches along doing odd jobs. About the worst thing I know about him is that he used to sing in a barbershop quartet."
"Let's give him a try anyway, he might know something."
Clem lived in a tiny tomb on the edge of a cemetery near the bar. There was barely room for Clem, an inflatable mattress, and a small camping stove. When Buffy and Spike arrived he was stirring a rich-smelling stew.
"Clem," said Spike, "you have a visitor."
"Spike? And this lady is?"
"The Slayer, Clem."
"Uh..."
"Don't worry," said Buffy, "we're not here to slay you, just want to ask a couple of questions. What are you cooking? Smells good."
"Kitten with onions and herbs. I usually have them au natural, but every now and then I feel like cooking. Want some?"
"I think I'll pass," said Buffy, fighting back sudden nausea. "Would that be one of the kittens from the game the other night?"
"You heard about that, didya? Yeah, it's one of them, sort of accidentally got trapped in a fold of my skin."
"Warren... the guy who appeared on the table... we think he's been taken by the guy who was running the game. Know anything about that?"
"I know Shark was really annoyed. Hadn't heard that he'd caught up with the guy, but it doesn't surprise me."
"Any idea where he might have taken him?"
"Well..." Clem looked past Buffy at Spike for inspiration, Spike shook his head slightly. "Maybe one of those old factories on the edge of the industrial zone. I saw him drive past there once, it could be there."
"Oh joy," said Spike, "Burned-out buildings with rotting wooden beams and broken floors, my idea of heaven."
"We'd better check it out," Buffy said unenthusiastically.
April was watching CNN when Willow, Tara and Dawn got home. There were several boxes stacked on the table, and a large package wrapped in brown paper.
"April," said Willow, "thanks for picking up this stuff, did you have any problems?"
"None at all, everything was ready for me, although I was attacked by a vampire near the mall."
"Another one?" said Dawn, "Must be a nest somewhere nearby, that's three in a couple of days. I'll tell Buffy. What did you do about it?"
"It broke one of its fangs on my shoulder motor and I staked it, of course."
"That's cool. Do you need any repairs?"
"No, the motor wasn't damaged and I've fixed the tear with silicone adhesive."
"What's the shopping?" asked Tara.
"Let's take a look," said Willow, peeking into the top box. "Dawny, I know money's been kinda tight and you haven't really had a chance to do anything about Buffy's birthday. I've got into Sheila's... my.. bank accounts so I'm a lot better off. Anyway, I ordered something that I think she might like, you can owe me until you get some money. If you don't like it we can take it back together and get something else."
"What is it?" asked Dawn.
"I thought she might like another leather jacket, the one she usually wears is looking kinda old. What do you think?"
"It's perfect! Wow, I think I would have picked exactly this if I'd gone shopping myself.. if I'd had the money, of course."
Willow smiled and accepted a hug, glad that she hadn't given away what she remembered about Dawn's original birthday present.
"Better put it away before Buffy gets back. Okay, let's see... yeah, this one is for Tara."
"Me?" said Tara, pulling out a brocade waistcoat. "That's gorgeous. But it isn't my birthday or anything."
"I know, but if what Jay and Kay and G'Ftyuk told me is right I'm gonna be pretty rich, might as well enjoy it. I think it'd be kinda nice for Buffy's party."
"All right, but don't make a habit of it, I don't want to be a kept woman."
"Financial independence is important," said April, "Anya was right, money is a good thing to have, but it's a bad idea to depend on someone else for it."
"Right," said Willow. "Think we can all agree on that one. That's why I'm expecting Dawn to give me my money back eventually. But the waistcoat is a gift."
"And the next one?" asked Dawn.
"Um... oh, that's just something for me."
"Something?"
"Umm.. underwear."
Dawn raised her eyebrows.
"Which is my business," said Willow hastily.
"Only yours?" asked Tara, raising an eyebrow of her own.
"Oh, I guess you'll see them eventually. Hastily changing the subject..." she peeked into another box, "This next one is for you, April."
"For me?"
"Well, your nice dress got burned, this was the closest I could find in the catalogue."
April pulled out the dress, held it up against herself, and said "That's lovely, I think. I'm sorry, I need to work more on aesthetics."
"It's good," said Tara, "just right for this weather."
"Thank you," said April, giving Willow a gentle hug. "I'm very grateful. I'll repay you when we get the money from the IRS."
"No, this is a gift, to thank you for trying to stop Warren the other night."
"Oh... okey-dokey." She hugged Willow again a little harder.
"What are the other three?" asked Tara.
"Well, the big box is my own present for Buffy, some stylish but affordable boots to match the jacket, the little one is some Belgian chocolates for all of us... when Buffy's home," she said hastily.
"And the package?"
"Umm... you remember everything Jay and Kay were saying about not importing alien technology and all."
"Uh huh?" said Dawn.
"Well, one of the things I remembered from Sheila's.. my.. memories was that she.. I.. didn't always pay a lot of attention to that law, what with robodog and all."
"And?"
"Looks like I misjudged - well, me, really," said Willow.
"What do you mean?" asked Tara.
"I thought that she had no idea what was going on in Sunnydale, but she was beginning to catch on, and she was thinking about how to keep me safe. She just never quite figured who Buffy was or what we were doing. Robodog was part of it, she was ready to use it if she heard I was in serious trouble, she had some other ideas up her sleeve. She placed an order just a couple of weeks before she made that wish, something that might be useful, April picked it up from mom's post office box."
"Useful?"
"The Baltians are very good with machines, and 'cos they're so tiny they can build them really small. It's kinda an odd coincidence..." She tore open the outer packaging and opened the metal case it concealed. Everyone looked inside. There was a stunned silence.
Eventually Dawn said "You have got to be kidding."
"Well, that was a waste of bloody time," said Spike, "don't know about you but I'm about ready to call it a night."
"Let's head for home. I want to be back before Dawn gets to bed, spend some family time with her."
"Mind if I head home once we get there?" asked Spike, "My hip's still sore and I think I need to catch up on my sleep a little, and I'm not gonna do much of that around you."
"Why don't we get you back first? I can always walk home on my own."
"Because if we're wrong and Warren's got away from them he could still be gunning for you, and I'll feel happier if I'm there to stop any bullets."
"Don't be silly, Spike, you're not my bodyguard."
"I know, but I fancy your body so I'm gonna guard it. Let's get you home."
Spike closed the door of his tomb, listened for a moment, then went down to the cave below. "Had an odd feeling I'd find you here," he said, nodding at Jerry, Irving, and the Shark, and noticing the large wriggling rope-bound sack on the floor where they were sitting. "That that git Warren?"
"That's right," said Shark, "heard he'd shot you, thought I'd bring him along as a little peace offering, make up for that unfortunate misunderstanding a couple of months ago."
"What, so I can give him to the Slayer?"
"I was thinking more in terms of you doing something disgustingly violent to him, everyone knows about you and the railway spikes."
"Well yeah, I'd love to oblige, soulless monster and all, but there's this little chip in my bonce that sort of stops me from hurting humans, not to mention the Slayer taking one look at the corpse and knowing that it's me that did it."
"That would be a no, then?"
"Well, let's say that I'm very pleased you've made the peace offering, and as far as I'm concerned there are no grudges about that incident, but I'd rather you didn't leave him here. I don't want him for myself, and I certainly don't want him running loose again. Why don't you keep him? Somewhere else, though, the Slayer's in and out of here all the time, first place she looks if there's a problem, could be a little awkward. Maybe you could sell him on eBay or something, there's gotta be a market for punks with delusions of grandeur somewhere. Be careful though, the Slayer's pretty sure you've got him and she's spent most of the evening looking for you, if he turns up dead anywhere in Sunnydale she'll go ballistic. You might want to think about covering your arse."
"Do you think the Slayer might want to buy him?"
"Dunno about the Slayer... you could maybe try the witch, she's got a bit more cash and she might go for it. But watch out, they're both tricky. Or that bugger Rack might want him if he ever comes round, it's his fault that Rack was hurt. And I think there might be a reward from the museum robbery."
"Thanks, Mister Spike, I'll bear that in mind."
"Bear it in mind hell, I want a cut. Say ten percent."
"Five."
"Eight."
"Seven."
"Done."
Buffy came into the house, smelled cooking, and went into the kitchen. Dawn and April were laying the table, Willow and Tara were busy around the stove. "What's the occasion?"
"No occasion, we just thought it'd be nice to have a proper cooked meal. Ready in about ten minutes, why don't you park the crossbow and wash up. Did you find Warren? Oh, and is Spike with you? Should I heat some blood?"
"No luck with Warren, and Spike was kinda tired and went home. Okay, I'll get cleaned up."
She went to the weapons chest in the living room, turned intending to go to the bathroom, saw what was on the table and went to take a closer look, blinked, then went back into the kitchen.
"Guys, has someone just slipped me some drugs, 'cos I think I just had a really weird hallucination."
"No hallucination," said Willow, "just a present from Sheila. Something she had built on Baltia before she made the wish. Could be useful."
"You have got to be kidding."
To Be Continued
