The numb feeling still overwhelms Kim. It is worsened when she climbs into the back of the waiting RMP. Faith stands outside, waiting to close the door. Her gaze is sad. Bosco sits in silence as the door closes and his partner sits beside him. Bosco slowly pulls off. Walsh takes Kim's hand. Bosco pulls up in front of Catherine's house. The four occupants climb out of the car. They all adjust their uniforms as they walk up to the door. Kim does something highly unusual for her; she knocks on the door and waits for her mother to answer. Catherine knows that something is not right when the four are gathered on her doorstep in the middle of a shift. Catherine turns to look back into the house as Joey comes bounding down the stairs.

"Mommy!" Joey exclaims

The five adults look at each other knowing that what is going to come next is going to sting them all over again. Kim kneels down next to her son.

"Joey honey." Kim begins as she starts to fight back tears and tries to be strong for her son.

"Mommy, is something wrong?" Joey asks innocently

Bosco wants to turn away, but Joey looks at the faces of all those in the room. Tears well up in Faith's eyes, she only hopes that her children are never put in this situation. Walsh forces a smile as do Bosco and Catherine. Kim takes Joey's hand and leads him into the living room. They sit on the couch and she pulls him onto her lap. Then she begins to tell him the hardest words he will ever have to listen to in his life.

"Joey honey." Kim again starts to say, "I need to tell you something really important, something about your dad."

"He's hurt again?" Joey asks

"Yes, your dad got hurt again." Kim replies

"I wanna see him." Joey says seriously

Catherine grabs a tissue and clinches it to her face.

"Joey, I'm afraid that you can't see him." Kim hesitates forcing back tears

"I want to see DADDY!" Joey demands

Kim knows that she can't fight it anymore. She wants to cry so badly. And she realizes that there is no way that she can make this any easier on Joey but to tell him the blunt truth. She looks at the faces of the four others gathered in the room trying to gather the courage to tell her son that his dad is never coming home. She looks up at her mother, and then back down to her son. "Joey. I don't know how to make this any easier to tell you." Kim says

"Tell me what mommy?" He asks

"Joey, your daddy is never coming home." Kim says

"He will too! He would never leave me!" Joey says in anger

"Joey, remember what happened to Bobby and Alex?" Kim says

"No, dad's not dead! He's not. You're lying to me!" Joey says and attempts to break free

"I'm sorry Joey, you're dad is dead. He fell through a floor and was hurt very badly. We couldn't do anything to help him." Kim says in tears.

"HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DIE?" Joey bawls in anger. "YOU DIDN'T HELP HIM!"

These words sting Kim very hard. She attempts to respond, but can't. The pain in Walsh's face is too great.

"Joey, listen to me. Your mom didn't let your dad die." Walsh says

"Yes she did!" Joey sobs

"No Joey, your mom did everything she could to help him. We all did." Walsh says

Joey jumps off of the couch and runs upstairs. The door to the room slams shut. Kim sits on the couch crying, Catherine quickly moves next to her to console her. Bosco turns and walks out of the house, the tears stream down his face. He never imagined how hard it would be to tell a child that they lost their parent. Faith stands crying in the living room, Walsh looks at her. Neither can believe what they were just witnessing. Both follow Bosco out the door. Catherine watches. Kim starts sobbing.

"He's gone mom! He's gone!" Kim cries

"I know baby. I'm sorry." Catherine says to comfort her daughter "I wish I could take away all the pain."

Kim looks at her mother. "He died, right there in my arms. I couldn't do anything. I froze."

"You didn't freeze honey. You can't stop someone from dying. If their time is up on this earth, you can't keep them here." Catherine insists

"There's more too it mom." Kim cries Catherine looks at her daughter, shocked at what might come out of her mouth next. *~*~*~*~*~*

Bosco, Walsh, and Faith all stand beside the RMP. The tears have subsided.

"I never realized that it was that hard to tell someone that they lost a loved one." Bosco says, "Not even after the 11th. We attended so many memorial services, yet I never once realized."

"Bosco, no one can be prepared to do that. I just hope that no one ever has to tell my kids that." Faith replies

Walsh is in silence. Then the tears flow down his face again.

"You okay?" Faith asks

"I lost so many brothers on September 11th. Then I lost Taylor last year. But now, now I have lost a brother that meant so much more to me! He's gone. I can't believe that Jimmy is gone." Walsh says shaking his head. "It's not supposed to be like this."

Faith and Bosco look to each other. Neither really knows what to say.

"It's hard." Bosco finally gets out. "It's hard to look at something like this and ask ourselves, 'why? Why am I still here and not them?' It just doesn't seem right."

Faith looks at Bosco, half in shock because his words are numbing. They are true though. The three stand in silence. It still feels surreal to them. *~*~*~*~*~*

Joey sits on his bed. He has an FDNY hat in his hand, and he stares at the picture of his dad that sits atop his dresser. He throws the hat in anger.

"Why dad?" He sobs. "Why are you leaving me?" *~*~*~*~*~*

"Mom. Jimmy and I slept together again." Kim cries

Catherine is not entirely shocked by this revelation.

"We slept together last night." Kim adds

"You did." Catherine hesitates to ask. "You were responsible right?"

Kim shakes her head. Catherine looks to the floor. Kim stands up and walks to the window. She looks out to see Bosco, and Faith, and Walsh standing by the RMP.

"I was stupid!" Kim yells

Catherine walks over to her, "No. You weren't."

"But mom, what if? What if I.." Kim can't continue

"Honey. Don't think about it. That needs to be the furthest from your mind. You have to get your son through this! He's counting on you." Catherine insists.

"I need to go. I have to get cleaned up, I just don't know how I am going to get through this." Kim cries

"You will. You will get through this." Catherine answers

"Mom, I lost Bobby, then Alex, now Jimmy. I don't know if I can stand it." Kim sobs

"Listen to me. You are strong! You will get through this, your friends and I will be there every step of the way!" Catherine adds

Kim slowly walks to the door and turns the handle. She pauses.

"Mom, what if?" Kim asks

"No what ifs. Don't think about it. Think about helping your son through this. You can worry about the what ifs later." Catherine replies.

Kim slowly walks out the door. She walks towards the RMP, and looks up at her son's window. She climbs into the car. The others climb in as well and they drive off. *~*~*~*~*~*

At the firehouse, the mood is very somber. DK walks downstairs with a picture of Jimmy.

"I hate adding these to the memorial wall." DK says as he hangs it next to Taylor and Bobby's pictures.

"Why do things like this happen?" Lombardo questions

Carlos and Doc sit quietly across the table.

"Life's not fair. It really isn't." Carlos says glumly.

Lieutenant Johnson walks in. He pauses by the picture. "I still can't believe it."

Kim and Walsh slowly make their way up the stairs. Everyone is quietly watching Kim's movements. They all want to ask if she is okay, if there is anything that they can do, but no one dares to speak. Walsh flashes a smile.

"Do you need me to help you?" He asks Kim as she grabs a box to clean out Jimmy's locker.

"No, I'd like to be alone." She replies as she climbs the stairs.

The squad stands in the kitchen watching. When Kim is out of sight Lieutenant Johnson speaks.

"This is going to be hard on all of us. Especially Kim. We all need to do whatever we can to help her and Joey through this."

Everyone nods their heads in agreement. Lombardo looks up.

"Oh man. Joey." He says, "How did he take the news?"

Everyone looks to Walsh.

"He blames Kim for not saving him. It hurt her to hear him say that. It hurt me to hear him say it. But he'll come around." Walsh replies. *~*~*~*~*~*

Kim sits on Jimmy's bunk. The door to his locker is open. She sobs as she looks into it.

"I can't do this" Kim says to herself. She sits and continues to cry. *~*~*~*~*~*

It's 11 PM and the shift is over. The four cops sit in the locker room. They can't help but think about what happened. They are all silent, that is until Sully breaks in.

"Guys, I was thinking, we should get together and do something to help Kim out." He says

"Yeah, we should do something." Davis adds

"Well, I for one could use a drink, in Jimmy's memory of course." Bosco says

"Yeah, I could too." Faith adds.

"Let's go down to Hagertee's." Bosco says as he shuts his locker.

The four cops head out of the locker room. *~*~*~*~*~* Carlos creeps up the stairs to grab his gear. Kim still sits crying on the bed. Carlos wants to reach out to her, but he isn't sure what to say, or how to say it. She looks up.

"Hey." He says softly

"Hey." She sobs back

"Do you need any help?" He asks, noticing the empty box.

She nods and he walks over. He picks up the box and slowly starts putting Jimmy's stuff inside. After a couple minutes he has all of Jimmy's personal belongings in the box. He turns to the inside of the door, and pauses while looking at a picture of Jimmy, Kim, and Joey at the zoo. He slowly removes the tape and hands the picture to Kim.

"I'm sorry." He says gently.

He walks back to his locker and grabs his bag. He looks back at Kim before finally heading back down the stairs.

The alarm rings out breaking the silence.

"Squad 55, Ladder 100 residential fire 918 Morningside."

Kim bursts into tears. Downstairs the squad looks at each other. This was their first call post Jimmy Doherty. They all get up and move towards the truck, this was their job, missing a member of the family or not. *~*~*~*~*~*

The four cops sit at the bar. Each has a shot glass in front of them. Bosco raises his glass.

"To Jimmy Doherty. Firefighter, father, and even though we had our moments, friend." Bosco says

"To Jimmy" Faith, Sully, and Davis add as they all gulp down their shot. *~*~*~*~*~*

Three days later

Jimmy's casket sits at the front of the church, surrounded by pictures of Jimmy. Bosco, Faith, Davis, and Sully all walk in wearing their dress uniforms. They take seats a few rows back. Their gazes all fixed to the flag draped casket. The haunting chill of the organ flows through them. The squad walks in as a group. Carlos, Doc, DK, Lombardo, and Walsh all sit in the third row. Finally Lieutenant Johnson escorts Kim, and Joey into the church. The congregation is filled with dress uniforms.

Finally, the Priest enters the church. He walks up to the casket and then stands to the side.

"Truly the loss of a close friend, or family member makes one question their faith in God. A tragic accident makes it hard for us to come to grips and find closure that our loved one is gone from this world. But truly they have not gone from this world to never be with us again. They have left their earthly being to join our Heavenly Father in the Kingdom of Heaven. Rest assured that one day, you shall be reunited in life everlasting." The Priest says

Kim sits crying. Joey, does not fully grasp the words, he sits looking at his feet. The faces of the squad tell the story. The Priest continues on into the sermon. The squad members each think about Jimmy.

There You'll Be by Faith Hills plays

Doc thinks about the roof rescue that Jimmy performed to save him and Carlos from the burning building. It was always like Jimmy to risk his life for a coworker.

Carlos smiles slightly thinking about his first day on the job when Kim and Jimmy pulled the peanut butter trick on him.

Lieutenant Johnson thinks about the mushroom meatloaf. "Lieu, you like my mushroom meatloaf right?" He smiles as he recalls the look on Jimmy's face when he answered no.

Lombardo thinks back to when Jimmy returned to the building to rescue him, even after the Captain had ordered all of the squad out.

Walsh smiles while he thinks about the football game. "Don't tell me I got my ass kicked for a tie." Alex says "Okay, in honor of Alex, let's go for the win." Jimmy replies

DK can't help but think of Alex's "tart du jour" comment when they spotted Jimmy's face on the poster.

It comes time for the casket to be carried to the waiting fire truck. All at once, the sea of dress uniforms stand. The Squad members and a few other firefighters from Ladder 100 carry the casket through the sea of saluting firefighters. Kim and Joey follow the casket out. The tears flow in rivers from Kim's eyes as the casket is placed on the truck.

There You'll Be ends, and the FDNY bagpipers start to play Amazing Grace

The truck slowly starts down the street followed by the scores of firefighters. A sea of blue follows the red fire truck. Many people line the streets, some holding American flags, to watch the procession pass.

They reach the cemetery. The casket is offloaded and carried to the gravesite. Taps is played while the flag is folded. The Captain of the Squad hands it to Joey.

"Your father was a hero. For that you should always be proud." The Captain says

Kim sobs, Joey looks at the flag.

"I am. One day I am going to be just like him." Joey says

The Captain smiles, and Kim forces a smile. The service ends. The squad walks back away from the gravesite. Kim and Joey walk up to them. DK picks up Joey.

"If you're anything like your father, you'll make a great firefighter." DK says as the scene fades out.