Hogwarts High
Chapter 1
"Dude, I've got the stuff."
"Really man?"
"Yeah, I got it off old man Flitwick."
"I always knew something was wrong with him. That shortness can't be natural!"
"Never mind that now! Take the WizardWeed to the kitchen and swap it with the oregano. The elves are gonna use that in the dinner tonight! Man, this is gonna be great!"
The two shadowed figures walked swiftly in different directions.
"The food tastes a bit peculiar tonight, don't you think?" said Hermione.
"I like it" said Ron happily as he licked the left side of his plate clean.
Harry didn't answer for he was feeling very dizzy and extremely happy even though his godfather had recently died.
As Hermione sat she noticed something that she had never noticed before. A mole. A large, hairy mole by Harry's nose. She hated that mole. She wanted to kill that mole. Her eye twitched, her nose twitched and suddenly she couldn't take it any more. She lunged at Harry with her butter knife.
"THE MOLE!!!!!!! I MUST.KILL.THE MOLE!!!!!!!!!"
Harry was so confused all he could was fall over back words and out of the way as Hermione rocked back and forth, muttering about the mole and staring evilly at him.
Ron was now in the process of directing the "marriage" of his remaining potato to his porkchop. He hadn't noticed any of what was going on between his friends.
All around them, everyone was acting very strangely. Ginny giving Dean Thomas a lap dance, while he was foaming violently at the mouth. The Patil twins were singing "I Feel like a Woman" on the table tops with very bad southern accents. Cho, down at Ravenclaw Table, was continuously screaming "HAPPY FRUIT!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs.
Malfoy, in the meantime, was telling a fidgeting Crabbe all about his secret passion for Harry, while Goyle and Pansy Parkinson were making out under the table.
Up at the teacher's table, things weren't much better. Professor Trelawny was happily predicting that the milk in the kitchens was going to go bad in 5.67343223054961251.1 minutes. Professor Snape had teacups over his nipples an was screeching "Auntie Em! There is no place like home!"
Professor Flitwick was performing a very advance tap routine while juggling several papayas.but he was used to this. Hagrid was crunched up in his seat, one by one plucking hairs out of his beard muttering about dolphins. Professor McGonagall was no where in sight.
The unthinkable had happened: Hogwarts was High ***********************************
Meanwhile Dumbledore was in his office peacefully reading "The Naked Ape."(His favorite muggle book) Since he had not attended the feast he was unaware of the chaos erupting in the great hall. All of a sudden the door creaked open. As he looked up he was pleased to see Professor McGonagall in the doorway.
"Minerva pleasant surprise, would you like a lemon drop?"
"Oh, I want more then that Albus!"
"Er- I'm not understanding you clearly Professor"
Professor McGonagall kicked the door shut. "Oh don't play games Albus, you know you want it!"
Dumbledore's heart was racing, could his dream be coming true?
AN: well folks that was the result of a caffiene/sugar high. Yes I am a physcho.but pleeeeeeez review. O and im srry if this is insulting 2 hard core Harry potter fans out there but don't be. Cause parody is good for the heart and the soul. Peace out dudes! Don't hesitate to review me (even if they are flames) Luv from BIG.PINK.PUFF!!!
And help from me! -kvh90_always
p.s. there's more comin' peeps weather u like it or not!
Chapter 1
"Dude, I've got the stuff."
"Really man?"
"Yeah, I got it off old man Flitwick."
"I always knew something was wrong with him. That shortness can't be natural!"
"Never mind that now! Take the WizardWeed to the kitchen and swap it with the oregano. The elves are gonna use that in the dinner tonight! Man, this is gonna be great!"
The two shadowed figures walked swiftly in different directions.
"The food tastes a bit peculiar tonight, don't you think?" said Hermione.
"I like it" said Ron happily as he licked the left side of his plate clean.
Harry didn't answer for he was feeling very dizzy and extremely happy even though his godfather had recently died.
As Hermione sat she noticed something that she had never noticed before. A mole. A large, hairy mole by Harry's nose. She hated that mole. She wanted to kill that mole. Her eye twitched, her nose twitched and suddenly she couldn't take it any more. She lunged at Harry with her butter knife.
"THE MOLE!!!!!!! I MUST.KILL.THE MOLE!!!!!!!!!"
Harry was so confused all he could was fall over back words and out of the way as Hermione rocked back and forth, muttering about the mole and staring evilly at him.
Ron was now in the process of directing the "marriage" of his remaining potato to his porkchop. He hadn't noticed any of what was going on between his friends.
All around them, everyone was acting very strangely. Ginny giving Dean Thomas a lap dance, while he was foaming violently at the mouth. The Patil twins were singing "I Feel like a Woman" on the table tops with very bad southern accents. Cho, down at Ravenclaw Table, was continuously screaming "HAPPY FRUIT!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs.
Malfoy, in the meantime, was telling a fidgeting Crabbe all about his secret passion for Harry, while Goyle and Pansy Parkinson were making out under the table.
Up at the teacher's table, things weren't much better. Professor Trelawny was happily predicting that the milk in the kitchens was going to go bad in 5.67343223054961251.1 minutes. Professor Snape had teacups over his nipples an was screeching "Auntie Em! There is no place like home!"
Professor Flitwick was performing a very advance tap routine while juggling several papayas.but he was used to this. Hagrid was crunched up in his seat, one by one plucking hairs out of his beard muttering about dolphins. Professor McGonagall was no where in sight.
The unthinkable had happened: Hogwarts was High ***********************************
Meanwhile Dumbledore was in his office peacefully reading "The Naked Ape."(His favorite muggle book) Since he had not attended the feast he was unaware of the chaos erupting in the great hall. All of a sudden the door creaked open. As he looked up he was pleased to see Professor McGonagall in the doorway.
"Minerva pleasant surprise, would you like a lemon drop?"
"Oh, I want more then that Albus!"
"Er- I'm not understanding you clearly Professor"
Professor McGonagall kicked the door shut. "Oh don't play games Albus, you know you want it!"
Dumbledore's heart was racing, could his dream be coming true?
AN: well folks that was the result of a caffiene/sugar high. Yes I am a physcho.but pleeeeeeez review. O and im srry if this is insulting 2 hard core Harry potter fans out there but don't be. Cause parody is good for the heart and the soul. Peace out dudes! Don't hesitate to review me (even if they are flames) Luv from BIG.PINK.PUFF!!!
And help from me! -kvh90_always
p.s. there's more comin' peeps weather u like it or not!
