Peter Rasputin clutched the limp red head to his chest where he crouched on the cold ground.  The rough rocks bit into the tender skin of his back, but he was too exhausted to armor-up again, and there was too little room for him to move, so he pushed the pain to the back of his mind.  Around him, the raspy gasps of eight terrified children were the only noises that penetrated the cover of the night.  It was a welcome change from what had been, less than an hour earlier, a symphony of their terrified screams filling the air.  Screams and gunshots, or worse, screams and sudden silences.

            None of the children had spoken on their midnight trek through the woods.  They just clung to one another in a human chain, shaking and wide-eyed, but very much alive.  They had followed their un-spoken leader from the horror of their home, and into a new horror that was darkness and questions. 

That was the unknown. 

Still, though children they were, they had followed on bravely, never tiring…no, that probably wasn't right.  Every one of them was hovering on the brink of exhaustion.  Never complaining is the more accurate statement, not once protesting or questioning the judgment of their commander.  They were tiny soldiers, doing their duty.  That though made Peter's heart feel sick and heavy in his chest.

            He'd wondered before why fate had sought to deal these children the cards that it had.  Why it had decided to curse them with powers beyond their control and gifts that set them apart.  Why them, why these children and not others?  Why were the paths of these youths destined to be so much harder to walk then that of the world's other children?  For that was all he saw when he looked into their faces, into their innocent eyes shining brightly through the darkness; all he saw was childhood.  Had you set them among a crowd of school children, you would have been hard pressed to spot the mutants among the others.  And yet, despite their similarities, the world sought to drive them away because of their differences.  Peter absently rubbed Tracy's head in his hands as he mussed.

            'They're just children,' he thought as his eyes glimpsed them in the darkness.  'They shouldn't have to face this violence, this evil.  They're just children...'

            But then the voice in the back of his head reminded him that they were more than just children.  That genetics had saw fit to make them evolutionary marvels.  And that because of their genetic makeup, they would never be 'just children'.  They would always be mutant monsters to the rest of the world.

                                         *SNAP*

            The soft noise from beyond the narrow hiding space drew eight sharp gasps.  It should've drawn ten, but Tracy and Jones were still out cold from whatever had been in the darts they'd been hit with. 

            "Shhhhhhh!"  Peter prompted.  Automatically, he felt a pair of hands next to him reach out and cradle the prone Tracy.  Rhane's green eyes shone like beacons in the darkness as she accepted the weight of her classmate, he fallen comrade.  It was also an unspoken fact that if Peter didn't come back, she was second in command.  She prayed with all her might that it wouldn't come to that. 

Pete was forced to crouch low in small cave, as he rose from his position near the mouth and proceeded outside.  There were frightened whimpers behind him, like pleas begging him not to leave, but he paid them no notice.  Right now it was just important to make sure they hadn't been followed.  Peter scanned the area as he stepped out into the night, every sense alive and straining to hear or see if they were being tracked

              A moment later he was joined by Rhane, who must  have handed Tracy off to someone else inside.  She gently brushed her hand against his shoulder.  He jumped slightly.

            "Easy Pete, it was just a jackrabbit," she assured him.  "I can smell 'im." 

Peter couldn't help it.  He was tense, on edge, and it felt as if his mind was running on all eight cylinders.  He was shaking from exhaustion, and yet he couldn't bring himself to go back inside to sit down.  Doing that would mean facing everything that depended on him now, and it would mean looking for the faces he knew weren't among those within. 

"Peter…?" Rhane said tentatively.  The boy grunted in reply.  He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes, so he shifted his gaze to the forest canopy above, glimpsing the night sky above.  The stars seemed unusually bright and cruel tonight.  Had they laughed, Peter wondered, as they looked down upon the destruction and hatred that seemed to consume everything on this wretched planet?  Peter's train of thought was interrupted by Rhane's soft voice.  "You did good, Pete.  You might not think so, but ya did good."

"No Rhane.  I tourned and ran when I should haf stayed and fought."  He shook his head sadly.  "I should have done…something, anything!  But I didn't, I ran.  I failed."  Peter squashed his eyes closed in an attempt to ward off the onslaught of memories that threatened to overtake him, but he couldn't keep them lock away.  He felt tears burning down his cheeks as he saw Jubilee fall to the floor over and over and over inside his head.  Heard Tracy's hair-raising scream again and again.  Saw the soldiers.  Saw the anger.

Saw the blood.

He shook his head manically, trying to drive out the images and sounds and smells, but they kept playing like a tape on rewind.  And in the background a  hellish chorus sang 'you failed, you left them,' continually.

"Peter!"  Rhane slammed both her fists into his chest, and the shock threw off his funk.  She grabbed his shoulders in her little hands and shook him slightly, or at least she tried to.  "Listen to me, and listen good!  Those kids in there, including me, would be dead if it wasn't for you.  You saved Tracy, you got the rest of us out, and you risked your life to do it.  You did what you had to do, so don't you stand there in front of me and tell me you failed.  Now is not the time for wallowing, buddy!"

"They took Jubilee and I couldn't stop them.  For all we know they've got Bobby and Kitty and Logan and everyone else too.  And what did I do instead of staying to help them?  I ran like a child," Peter declared sadly. 

"No, you didn't run.  You did what you were told."  He looked at Rhane in surprise. 

"How-," he started to ask, when she cut him off.

"You underestimate my hearing far to often," she added smugly.  "I may have been a hundred yards down that tunnel, but I heard Logan tell you to get moving.  I know he handed you Jones and told you to get us out.  And you know why he told you that?" she demanded, rhetorically.  Peter shook his head.  "Because you're strong, and you're brave, and he knew you could handle the responsibility of leading these kids, of leading us."  Peter felt like Rhane's words had doused him in ice water. 

"What did you say, Rhane?"

"You heard me.  We look up to you, Peter.  And whether you like it or not, you're in charge here."  He turned and started to walk away into the under brush, but the little redhead pursued him.  "We need you, Pete!  It's time for you to be a leader."

"Vell I'm not ready to lead yet," he called back.  It was too much, all of it.  He'd failed once already, he couldn't risk all these kid's lives if he failed again.

"Well you don't have a choice!"  That stopped Peter in his tracks.  "This time the job chose you, and if you walk away, you really will have failed."  Rhane was done, she'd said her bit.  Pete heard her part the brush and walk back into the shallow cave.  She was leaving it up to him, he could either stay or keep on walking.  His choice.

He took a deep breath.  This was it, he was poised on the knife blade, hovering on the cliff's edge.  He didn't want to take that step.  He couldn't handle the pressure.  He wasn't up for the task.  He couldn't do it.

He knew he had to.

He used his hands to part the bushes hiding the mouth of the cave and coating the rock face beyond.  Stepping inside he sensed that all eyes were on him, standing there in the darkness.  Pete took a deep breath.

"Everyone get some sleep.  We're leaving at first light," Peter finally declared, before sitting down against the wall once more.  There were mummers of agreement from the kids, as they began to shuffle and settle down as best they could in the cramped quarters.  It was doubtful that many of them would sleep at all, but the point was that the call had been made.

Peter wasn't ready to lead yet.  But when it came to protecting those he loved, he wasn't ready to give up yet either.