Disclaimer: Guess what? I do NOT own LoK, but if you people give me enough
money, then I can bribe LoK
_____________________________________________________________________
[The scene is not the Pillars. Instead, it's a rainforest in Nosgoth (I wonder if Nosgoth even has rain forests?) and Kain, the lieutenants, Vorador, Janos, are all gathered around]
Dumah: Okay, why are we in a rainforest?
Kain: Because the Pillars are being fumigated.
Dumah: Oh.
Kain: Plus, we might use this place for a set.
Raziel: Like what?
Dumah: I hate this place. I'm gonna walk around and piss something off.
(then Dumah left)
Melchiah: I like the rainforest.
Rahab: Yeah, it's pretty neat.
Janos: (emotional) Yeah, it's so sad that rainforests are being hunted to extinction! That's why we MUST save the rainforests!
Kain: I can't stay here with you hippies, I'm gonna wander around. I hope this doesn't take to long though because I hate nature.
Vorador: Yeah, I hate nature too. And I hate forests. The only forest I'd ever like is the forest belonging to Adam and Eve. Especially Eve...
Kain: (evil glare)
Vorador: (nervous) Um...I mean...especially Adam.
Kain: O__O
Vorador: Yep, he was one attractive guy. Did I just say this out loud? Uh- oh. Um, I gonna go over here.
(then Kain and Vorador both wandered off)
Zephon: Well, I'm safe cause I have my banana pudding!
(then a monkey swings down, steals his pudding, then runs off)
Zephon: HEY YOU SON OF A BITCH MONKEY, COME BACK HERE!
(then Zephon ran off to chase after the monkey. Then Dumah came out from a section of forest and Dumah was panicked)
Dumah: AHHH!! RUN!
Raziel: What? What's wrong?
Dumah: A big mean bear is trying to kill me! Save me!
Rahab: What'd you do?!
Dumah: All I did was hit him with a baseball bat!
Turel: Well, why the hell'd you do that?
Dumah: To piss it off!
Raziel: I'll see if we've got any bear repellent.
(then Raziel wandered off)
Melchiah: What's a bear?
Dumah: You don't remember?
Melchiah: Nope.
Dumah: (evil laugh) I know of a way that you can calm the bear down.
Melchiah: How?
Dumah: Kick the bear in the balls! Bears love getting kicked in the balls.
Melchiah: Oh...really, okay.
(then Melchiah went to kick the bear in the balls)
Dumah: Hehehe, dumbass.
(then Raziel came back. He was dressed as Indiana Jones, complete with a whip and hat)
Turel: Dumah's in trouble.
Raziel: What's going on here?
Dumah: Um, nothing.
(then a bear was heard then some of Melchiah limbs flew near Raziel)
Raziel: I don't like you being mean to my brothers.
(then Raziel grabbed Dumah and punched him)
Raziel: Don't make me whip you.
Dumah: (scared) Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
Raziel: You'd better be. I don't wanna have to kick your butt, Indiana style.
(then Janos, Vorador, and Kain came back)
Janos: What the heck is all this bruhaha?
Kain: Bruhaha?
Vorador: We were in the middle of a very serious game!
Rahab: What game?
Janos: The Game of Life. I had just had a kid.
Vorador: Yeah, and I had just had an affair with Kain's wife.
Kain: WHAT!? Anyway, what's going on here?
Dumah: I just told Melchiah to kick a bear in the balls.
Kain: RAZIEL, YOU CRUEL INGRATE! Why did you tell your innocent brother to do something like that! Idiot!
Raziel: But, but, but...
Kain: Well, we may as well start filming since Vorador had an affair with my wife in Life!
Vorador: Hehehehehe.
(then the rest of Melchiah flew other to Kain)
Dumah: We're starting.
Melchiah: Note to self: Never listen to Dumah again.
[The filming has started. The scene was where we left off at last time then Kain made his way to the planar portal surrounded by rocks]
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Hey, what's this?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Wow, that's like, totally trippin', that's like, a conduit to the material realm, like it is very hip.
Kain: I hate you Janos.
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hey hey hey, make love, not war. Anyway, like with this thing's aid you can like, um, gather stuff and manifest in the material realm. It's like, totally uber. But it's a bummer man that it's taxed.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): I have to pay to go to the material realm!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hey man, it's like, not quite like that, man. It's taxing cause you have to be, like, totally healed, man. You require nothing to be back here dude.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Why would I come back to this dump!
(so Kain as 'Raziel' uses the planar portal and manifests himself into the material realm, where the stones surrounding the portal turn into Stonehenge)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Wow, that was like, totally trippin', how the realm shifted, it's like, totally cool.
Kain: (to himself) I really hate hippies.
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Like, you need to prolong strength to like, stay here with us. It's so tubular, man. If you fail to feed or just plain get your wimpy, scrawny ass kicked one too many times, you return to the spectral realm. Spectral realm is like, a big word man.
Kain: ARGHHHH, JUST GO AWAY YOU HIPPY, YOU'RE WORSE THAN MORTANIUS!!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Whoa, like, just get in-touch with your inner self, man.
Kain: I hate you Janos.
(so Kain goes venturing further when he stops in a hallway and finds a pool of water)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Whoa man, water. Don't tou-
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Yay, a swimming pool!
(so Kain puts a foot in the water then takes it out)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Cold as holy frozen hell!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Yeah man, if you fall into water you freeze to death. Vampires never liked hypothermia, is hurts, man. But be aware that in Spectral realm that water is light, man. It's like getting stoned, man.
Kain: Janos, what the hell is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?
(so Kain walked forward and stepped in the water so he was now in Spectral. He climbed out of the water hole and went to the end of the hallway where a door awaited him. He pushed the door and pulled it, but to no avail)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): The door won't open!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hahahahahahahahaha!
(so then Kain pounded on the door, ran head-first into the door, kicked the door and nearly broke his foot in the process, he got a credit card to try to open it but it wouldn't work)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): So by now Raziel was beginning to get frustrated as anyone of us would.
(Kain went as far as to use a quarter instead of a credit card but that didn't work either, so then he just started pounding on the door and crying like a sissy)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Okay, maybe he got more frustrated than anyone of us would.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): WAAAAAHHHHHH, IT WON'T OPEN!!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Well that's because objects cannot be moved around in the spectral realm.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): (PO'ed) Now why in satan's sausage didn't you tell me that before!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Well, because man, I like, like to watch you look stupid, man.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): I really HATE YOU!!
(then Kain was walking away and right behind him was a planar portal)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Hells bells, here's a portal right here.
(so Kain is in the material realm again and he goes through a door. He enters a room with a swimming pool below him, a tanning machine to the right of him and a coat rack on the wall in front of him. He looks and sees two very big headed vampires with tiny little bodies and there was a Lego block behind them)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): What in the world are these creatures!? And how the hell do they balance their big, large heads on their tiny little bodies?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Like, whoa man, like they are weird. I'm glad I'm, like, not that weird, man. Like wow, do you not recognize them, man? They are, like, the children of your bro, Dumah, man.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Of course! I see the resemblance now! Just like their father, they have really big heads! But how? How in the name of chipmunks did they get like this!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Time didn't stand still for you, man. Makes me think of that song from ABBA.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): What song by ABBA?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): You know, that message in a bottle song. Time didn't stand still for you because they were waiting for you to send them a message in a bottle, man.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): You stupid, greasy hippy. ABBA didn't do that song!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Um...no?
(so Kain hopped down to the battlefield were the two Dumah vampires were. I wish I could remember how to spell what they were called. Anyway, Kain as 'Raziel' was getting ready to fight)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): I knew there weaknesses, because I was one. Physical wounds are nothing, they just patch back up thanks to "Kain's Number-One Band-Aids"! The number one band-aids since the beginning of time. Buy them today.
Janos: What was that?
Kain: Oh, just advertisement.
Janos: Oh.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Vampires only need to fear impalement, sunlight, or having to watch Full House all day long. I'd have to modify my tactics.
(so Kain as 'Raziel' ties to two vampires to a chair and puts a TV in front of them and forces them to watch Full House)
Vampire 1: No!! No more!
Vampire 2: Hey, Sally Struthers looks cute!
Kain: ?
Vampire 1: Yeah, and so does the main guy who's the father. He's just as cute and funny as that guy on America's Funniest Home Videos!
Kain: Alright, I can't stand this.
(so Kain beat the crap outta them and their souls floated around the air)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Hey, fireflies, woohoo!
(so Kain ran around trying to catch the souls like he would fireflies)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Um, those aren't' actually fireflies, they're-aw, what the heck, I don't wanna spoil your fun.
(well, after he somehow caught the fireflies-er souls, he noticed he was trapped. Them he saw an opening near the ceiling. He also saw the Lego block. This block puzzle looked simple enough)
Kain: (muttering to himself) Well this looks simple enough, don't see why Raziel hates these so much.
(well, 2 hours later, Kain still couldn't figure out how to solve this block puzzle. Someone, Kain had messed with the block so much that it was standing on its edge on top of the coat rack)
Kain: I FRICKIN HATE THESE DAMN BLOCK PUZZLES!!!!!!!!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hahaha, you suck!
Kain: Shut up you hippy!!
[Then, for some reason, the filming stops. And since the filming stopped, Kain went to ask Vorador (their camera vampire) why the filming stopped]
_______________________________________________________________________
Kain: Yo, Vorador, why'd you stop the filming?
Vorador: We ran out of film.
Kain: Already!! What all is on the camera?
Vorador: Um...stuff. Sex is on the film, if ya know what I mean.
Kain: I really, truly hate you. You got our bloopers but not more film! Vorador, I hate you!! First you have an affair with my wife-
Vorador: It was just a board game-
Kain: --then you do this!! Moron!
(Kain walks around the place and sees Raziel dressed as Indiana Jnoes)
Kain: Why??
Raziel: Because only Indiana Jones can make it out of this forest alive!
Dumah: Oh yeah? (then Dumah pulls out a knife)
Raziel: You call that a knife? This is a knife. (Razzyboy pulls out a machete)
Turel: Um, wrong movie.
Raziel: Oh, I know.
(then Zephon came rushing at the lieutenants)
Zephon: Good news! I got all of Melchiah's body parts!
Melchiah's mouth: Woohoo!
Zephon: Bad news! That stupid monkey got away with my banana pudding!
Kain: Since we've ran out of film, let's leave this place and go somewhere else. I really hate nature.
(so they all leave except Janos)
Janos: Goodbye leaf. Goodbye tree. Goodbye grass. Goo-
Kain: Hurry up you dumb hippy!
___________________________________________________________
Bloopers
----------------------------
Take 1 Kain (as 'Raziel'): I have to pay to go to the Material realm!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Erm, um, err, umumum, ummy, I can't remember.
Kain: I hate hippies.
---------------------------
---------------------------
Take 5
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Why would I come back to this dump!
(so Kain as 'Raziel' uses the planar portal and manifests himself into the material realm, and there, waiting for him in the Material realm, is Hash)
Hash: I have come to kill you back.
Kain: Holy hell, I want back at that dump! Help me!
--------------------------
--------------------------
Take 9
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Why would I come back to this dump!
(so Kain as 'Raziel' uses the planar portal and manifests himself into the material realm, and this time, a mascot was waiting for him)
Kain: Not again.
Mascot: Hi, do you know who I am?
Kain: No...
Mascot: I'm Bobbit, the castration chipmunk!
Kain: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
(then the mascot takes off its head and it was Dumah)
Dumah: Haha, fooled you!
(then Kain goes off-screen and attacks Raziel)
Kain: Raziel, that wasn't funny!
Raziel: My daddy doesn't love me!
------------------------
------------------------
Take 14
Kain (as 'Raziel'): The door won't open!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hahahahahahahahaha!
(so then Kain pounded on the door, ran head-first into the door, kicked the door and the door fell off)
Kain: Oops.
Janos: That door costed us $200!
Kain: $200!? What a rip-off!
-----------------------
------------------------
Take 23
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Of course! I see the resemblance now! Just like their father, they have really big heads! But how? How in the name of chipmunks did they get like this!?
Dumah: (off-screen) Hey, I don't have a big head you sonofabitch!
-----------------------
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Well, that's all for this chapter. And wow, this chapter was short, but for me it's a little bit easier to make shorter fics funnier for me. Well, I hope you liked this and in the next chapter there'll be 2 special guests (well, there probably will be, unless for some reason I change my mind) and one of the special guests is Jaons' very good friend: Chong. Well, hope you liked this chapter and don't forget to review!
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[The scene is not the Pillars. Instead, it's a rainforest in Nosgoth (I wonder if Nosgoth even has rain forests?) and Kain, the lieutenants, Vorador, Janos, are all gathered around]
Dumah: Okay, why are we in a rainforest?
Kain: Because the Pillars are being fumigated.
Dumah: Oh.
Kain: Plus, we might use this place for a set.
Raziel: Like what?
Dumah: I hate this place. I'm gonna walk around and piss something off.
(then Dumah left)
Melchiah: I like the rainforest.
Rahab: Yeah, it's pretty neat.
Janos: (emotional) Yeah, it's so sad that rainforests are being hunted to extinction! That's why we MUST save the rainforests!
Kain: I can't stay here with you hippies, I'm gonna wander around. I hope this doesn't take to long though because I hate nature.
Vorador: Yeah, I hate nature too. And I hate forests. The only forest I'd ever like is the forest belonging to Adam and Eve. Especially Eve...
Kain: (evil glare)
Vorador: (nervous) Um...I mean...especially Adam.
Kain: O__O
Vorador: Yep, he was one attractive guy. Did I just say this out loud? Uh- oh. Um, I gonna go over here.
(then Kain and Vorador both wandered off)
Zephon: Well, I'm safe cause I have my banana pudding!
(then a monkey swings down, steals his pudding, then runs off)
Zephon: HEY YOU SON OF A BITCH MONKEY, COME BACK HERE!
(then Zephon ran off to chase after the monkey. Then Dumah came out from a section of forest and Dumah was panicked)
Dumah: AHHH!! RUN!
Raziel: What? What's wrong?
Dumah: A big mean bear is trying to kill me! Save me!
Rahab: What'd you do?!
Dumah: All I did was hit him with a baseball bat!
Turel: Well, why the hell'd you do that?
Dumah: To piss it off!
Raziel: I'll see if we've got any bear repellent.
(then Raziel wandered off)
Melchiah: What's a bear?
Dumah: You don't remember?
Melchiah: Nope.
Dumah: (evil laugh) I know of a way that you can calm the bear down.
Melchiah: How?
Dumah: Kick the bear in the balls! Bears love getting kicked in the balls.
Melchiah: Oh...really, okay.
(then Melchiah went to kick the bear in the balls)
Dumah: Hehehe, dumbass.
(then Raziel came back. He was dressed as Indiana Jones, complete with a whip and hat)
Turel: Dumah's in trouble.
Raziel: What's going on here?
Dumah: Um, nothing.
(then a bear was heard then some of Melchiah limbs flew near Raziel)
Raziel: I don't like you being mean to my brothers.
(then Raziel grabbed Dumah and punched him)
Raziel: Don't make me whip you.
Dumah: (scared) Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
Raziel: You'd better be. I don't wanna have to kick your butt, Indiana style.
(then Janos, Vorador, and Kain came back)
Janos: What the heck is all this bruhaha?
Kain: Bruhaha?
Vorador: We were in the middle of a very serious game!
Rahab: What game?
Janos: The Game of Life. I had just had a kid.
Vorador: Yeah, and I had just had an affair with Kain's wife.
Kain: WHAT!? Anyway, what's going on here?
Dumah: I just told Melchiah to kick a bear in the balls.
Kain: RAZIEL, YOU CRUEL INGRATE! Why did you tell your innocent brother to do something like that! Idiot!
Raziel: But, but, but...
Kain: Well, we may as well start filming since Vorador had an affair with my wife in Life!
Vorador: Hehehehehe.
(then the rest of Melchiah flew other to Kain)
Dumah: We're starting.
Melchiah: Note to self: Never listen to Dumah again.
[The filming has started. The scene was where we left off at last time then Kain made his way to the planar portal surrounded by rocks]
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Hey, what's this?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Wow, that's like, totally trippin', that's like, a conduit to the material realm, like it is very hip.
Kain: I hate you Janos.
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hey hey hey, make love, not war. Anyway, like with this thing's aid you can like, um, gather stuff and manifest in the material realm. It's like, totally uber. But it's a bummer man that it's taxed.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): I have to pay to go to the material realm!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hey man, it's like, not quite like that, man. It's taxing cause you have to be, like, totally healed, man. You require nothing to be back here dude.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Why would I come back to this dump!
(so Kain as 'Raziel' uses the planar portal and manifests himself into the material realm, where the stones surrounding the portal turn into Stonehenge)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Wow, that was like, totally trippin', how the realm shifted, it's like, totally cool.
Kain: (to himself) I really hate hippies.
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Like, you need to prolong strength to like, stay here with us. It's so tubular, man. If you fail to feed or just plain get your wimpy, scrawny ass kicked one too many times, you return to the spectral realm. Spectral realm is like, a big word man.
Kain: ARGHHHH, JUST GO AWAY YOU HIPPY, YOU'RE WORSE THAN MORTANIUS!!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Whoa, like, just get in-touch with your inner self, man.
Kain: I hate you Janos.
(so Kain goes venturing further when he stops in a hallway and finds a pool of water)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Whoa man, water. Don't tou-
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Yay, a swimming pool!
(so Kain puts a foot in the water then takes it out)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Cold as holy frozen hell!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Yeah man, if you fall into water you freeze to death. Vampires never liked hypothermia, is hurts, man. But be aware that in Spectral realm that water is light, man. It's like getting stoned, man.
Kain: Janos, what the hell is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?
(so Kain walked forward and stepped in the water so he was now in Spectral. He climbed out of the water hole and went to the end of the hallway where a door awaited him. He pushed the door and pulled it, but to no avail)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): The door won't open!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hahahahahahahahaha!
(so then Kain pounded on the door, ran head-first into the door, kicked the door and nearly broke his foot in the process, he got a credit card to try to open it but it wouldn't work)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): So by now Raziel was beginning to get frustrated as anyone of us would.
(Kain went as far as to use a quarter instead of a credit card but that didn't work either, so then he just started pounding on the door and crying like a sissy)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Okay, maybe he got more frustrated than anyone of us would.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): WAAAAAHHHHHH, IT WON'T OPEN!!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Well that's because objects cannot be moved around in the spectral realm.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): (PO'ed) Now why in satan's sausage didn't you tell me that before!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Well, because man, I like, like to watch you look stupid, man.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): I really HATE YOU!!
(then Kain was walking away and right behind him was a planar portal)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Hells bells, here's a portal right here.
(so Kain is in the material realm again and he goes through a door. He enters a room with a swimming pool below him, a tanning machine to the right of him and a coat rack on the wall in front of him. He looks and sees two very big headed vampires with tiny little bodies and there was a Lego block behind them)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): What in the world are these creatures!? And how the hell do they balance their big, large heads on their tiny little bodies?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Like, whoa man, like they are weird. I'm glad I'm, like, not that weird, man. Like wow, do you not recognize them, man? They are, like, the children of your bro, Dumah, man.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Of course! I see the resemblance now! Just like their father, they have really big heads! But how? How in the name of chipmunks did they get like this!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Time didn't stand still for you, man. Makes me think of that song from ABBA.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): What song by ABBA?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): You know, that message in a bottle song. Time didn't stand still for you because they were waiting for you to send them a message in a bottle, man.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): You stupid, greasy hippy. ABBA didn't do that song!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Um...no?
(so Kain hopped down to the battlefield were the two Dumah vampires were. I wish I could remember how to spell what they were called. Anyway, Kain as 'Raziel' was getting ready to fight)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): I knew there weaknesses, because I was one. Physical wounds are nothing, they just patch back up thanks to "Kain's Number-One Band-Aids"! The number one band-aids since the beginning of time. Buy them today.
Janos: What was that?
Kain: Oh, just advertisement.
Janos: Oh.
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Vampires only need to fear impalement, sunlight, or having to watch Full House all day long. I'd have to modify my tactics.
(so Kain as 'Raziel' ties to two vampires to a chair and puts a TV in front of them and forces them to watch Full House)
Vampire 1: No!! No more!
Vampire 2: Hey, Sally Struthers looks cute!
Kain: ?
Vampire 1: Yeah, and so does the main guy who's the father. He's just as cute and funny as that guy on America's Funniest Home Videos!
Kain: Alright, I can't stand this.
(so Kain beat the crap outta them and their souls floated around the air)
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Hey, fireflies, woohoo!
(so Kain ran around trying to catch the souls like he would fireflies)
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Um, those aren't' actually fireflies, they're-aw, what the heck, I don't wanna spoil your fun.
(well, after he somehow caught the fireflies-er souls, he noticed he was trapped. Them he saw an opening near the ceiling. He also saw the Lego block. This block puzzle looked simple enough)
Kain: (muttering to himself) Well this looks simple enough, don't see why Raziel hates these so much.
(well, 2 hours later, Kain still couldn't figure out how to solve this block puzzle. Someone, Kain had messed with the block so much that it was standing on its edge on top of the coat rack)
Kain: I FRICKIN HATE THESE DAMN BLOCK PUZZLES!!!!!!!!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hahaha, you suck!
Kain: Shut up you hippy!!
[Then, for some reason, the filming stops. And since the filming stopped, Kain went to ask Vorador (their camera vampire) why the filming stopped]
_______________________________________________________________________
Kain: Yo, Vorador, why'd you stop the filming?
Vorador: We ran out of film.
Kain: Already!! What all is on the camera?
Vorador: Um...stuff. Sex is on the film, if ya know what I mean.
Kain: I really, truly hate you. You got our bloopers but not more film! Vorador, I hate you!! First you have an affair with my wife-
Vorador: It was just a board game-
Kain: --then you do this!! Moron!
(Kain walks around the place and sees Raziel dressed as Indiana Jnoes)
Kain: Why??
Raziel: Because only Indiana Jones can make it out of this forest alive!
Dumah: Oh yeah? (then Dumah pulls out a knife)
Raziel: You call that a knife? This is a knife. (Razzyboy pulls out a machete)
Turel: Um, wrong movie.
Raziel: Oh, I know.
(then Zephon came rushing at the lieutenants)
Zephon: Good news! I got all of Melchiah's body parts!
Melchiah's mouth: Woohoo!
Zephon: Bad news! That stupid monkey got away with my banana pudding!
Kain: Since we've ran out of film, let's leave this place and go somewhere else. I really hate nature.
(so they all leave except Janos)
Janos: Goodbye leaf. Goodbye tree. Goodbye grass. Goo-
Kain: Hurry up you dumb hippy!
___________________________________________________________
Bloopers
----------------------------
Take 1 Kain (as 'Raziel'): I have to pay to go to the Material realm!?
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Erm, um, err, umumum, ummy, I can't remember.
Kain: I hate hippies.
---------------------------
---------------------------
Take 5
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Why would I come back to this dump!
(so Kain as 'Raziel' uses the planar portal and manifests himself into the material realm, and there, waiting for him in the Material realm, is Hash)
Hash: I have come to kill you back.
Kain: Holy hell, I want back at that dump! Help me!
--------------------------
--------------------------
Take 9
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Why would I come back to this dump!
(so Kain as 'Raziel' uses the planar portal and manifests himself into the material realm, and this time, a mascot was waiting for him)
Kain: Not again.
Mascot: Hi, do you know who I am?
Kain: No...
Mascot: I'm Bobbit, the castration chipmunk!
Kain: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
(then the mascot takes off its head and it was Dumah)
Dumah: Haha, fooled you!
(then Kain goes off-screen and attacks Raziel)
Kain: Raziel, that wasn't funny!
Raziel: My daddy doesn't love me!
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Take 14
Kain (as 'Raziel'): The door won't open!
Janos (as 'Elder God'): Hahahahahahahahaha!
(so then Kain pounded on the door, ran head-first into the door, kicked the door and the door fell off)
Kain: Oops.
Janos: That door costed us $200!
Kain: $200!? What a rip-off!
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Take 23
Kain (as 'Raziel'): Of course! I see the resemblance now! Just like their father, they have really big heads! But how? How in the name of chipmunks did they get like this!?
Dumah: (off-screen) Hey, I don't have a big head you sonofabitch!
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Well, that's all for this chapter. And wow, this chapter was short, but for me it's a little bit easier to make shorter fics funnier for me. Well, I hope you liked this and in the next chapter there'll be 2 special guests (well, there probably will be, unless for some reason I change my mind) and one of the special guests is Jaons' very good friend: Chong. Well, hope you liked this chapter and don't forget to review!
