CHAPTER 1
Hermione reached platform 9 ¾ early and was able to make her way to an
empty carriage in silence without anyone recognizing her. She hadn't wanted
to come back to Hogwarts, but there was no where else for her to go, not
without arousing any suspicion. Praying Harry and Ron would not come into
this carriage she shoved her trunk on the ledge and curled up on a seat
closing her eyes. She hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, in fact she
hadn't really gotten any sleep for the past month. Glancing over at her bag
she clutched her chair with white knuckles. The pills were screaming at
her, but she could not take them, not now, someone might find it odd if
they couldn't wake her up. The Pills. Her only releif for the past two
weeks, her only escape from the nightmares. A muggle remedy, sleeping
pills, but they were much better then the dreamless sleep spell, that never
gave ones self true rest. Her lids began to close but as they did she saw
again those cold blue eyes and heard the laughter as it filled her head
threatining to burst. Her eyes flew open, she sat up, she would not sleep,
not without the pills, there was no way she would allow the nightmares back
in.
"There you are!," Ron, smiling walked into the carriage. He looked happy, too happy, Hermione tried to smile and Ron failed to notice how fake it was. Hermione noticed Ron kept throwing odd glances at her. No, thought Hermione, it can't be that obvious, he must be thinking something else. She caught his eye when he glanced at her yet again and he blushed.
Suddenly looking around Hermione realized Harry wasn't there, "Wheres Harry?," she asked Ron and now he looked down at his shoes.
"He-He's with McGonagall and Lavender, because he's Head Boy." Hermione understood, Ron thought it was odd that Hermione was not Head Girl and didn't want to bring it up. Who would have thought Hermione wouldn't be Head Girl? She was practicaly made for the job. But she had gotten the letter, and realized there was no way that she could cope with work that came with the honour. Not now. She had written back, telling them she couldn't do it, she had not told them the real reason, but they did not question her.
Smiling up at Ron Hermione tried to ease the tension that was radiating out of her friend, "I did get the letter but I told them I didn't want to be Head Girl." Ron just stared at her and her smile faultered. He wasn't just going to believe that, It wasn't something Hermione would do. At least not something that the old Hermione, the only one he knew would do. She racked her brain, what would the old Hermione have turned down that honour for, then it came to her, "I thought that with the NEWTS coming up I had better study hard. I need high marks and I didn't think that I could study as much as I need to if I had to deal with all the rotten kids. In fact I have already started"
"Oh," Ron nodded and sat down with a hard thunk and starded unwrapping a chocolate frog. The silence slowly blossomed over the space, and began to smother Hemione. Why did she have to come early? She should have come right before the train left, and other people would be to deep in conversation with eachother to notice her. Her eyes started to close again but she made them stay open, glancing up at ron she realized that he did not find the silence awkward at all. He was engrossed in eating, and had probably forgotten that she was even there.
"So.," Ron glanced up from his food at Hermione as she thought of something to talk about. "So.are you going to be keeper on the quidditch team again this year?" Ron blushed and shrugged, he probably would be, that last game he had played had apparantly gone realy well. She felt bad that she hadn't been there to watch it. Again the silence began to fill the carriage and the voices of Hermiones nightmares began to once again fill her head. She tried to talk to keep them out.
"I'm surprised Lavender got Head Girl instead of me, I had thought that it would be Parvarti." Stupid girl, you think you can escape, oh no, your mine. "I wonder whats taking Harry so long, it is taking him a long time isn't it?"No ones going to come to save you, they don't care about oyu, if fact they don't even know that you are here. "It didn't take this long when we were prefects, hey you're not head boy? Thats weird usualy prefects become the Head Boy and Girl." They aren't going to look for you, you don't matter to them. Only Harry matters. "Where is Ginny and Neville I wonder, are we early or something? Except you would have come with Ginny right?" Now be a good girl, it wont hurt, oh come on it will only hurt if you struggle, but make sure you scream nice and loud, Harry is in the room right next to us. Oh, yes, and he will hear everything that happens in here. He might not know it is you, but he will still hear, aww, poor Harry being subjected to that. What, cat got your tongue no, well then we will just have to-
"Hermione, Hermione wake up," Rons voice swam in to her head, he sounded panicked, she tried to open her eyes, and only saw blurs of colour. "Come on 'Mione, wake up!" This time when she opened her eyes everyhing looked normal and Ron sat back, releif clear in his eyes. "Are-are you okay, you were shaking and you were all pale and," Rons voice broke off as Harry, Ginny, and Neville walked into the carriage. They all started chatting at once and Hemione moved over to sit by Ron to leave room for evryone else.
"Don't tell anyone about what just happened, or I will hex you so bad you will never want to be seen in public again." Ron gulped, looked nervously at Hermione and slowly nodded his head. Hermione smiled and lay back staring into blankly at the roof so that she would not have to talk to anyone. She listened very carefully to their conversation, though so she could shut everything else out of her head. She should have known it was too good to last, no one was going to ignore her for the entire train ride. Beside her she felt Ron shift and someone plunked down beside her, not even looking she knew it was Harry.
There was a pause before he began to talk, "So.You're awfully silent, I suppose you are upset." Hermione looked at him sharply but luckily he continued before she had a chance to say anything, "I mean, not getting Head Girl and everything. I thought that was just odd, I asked McGonagall, but she wouldn't tell me why. So.I'm sorry." Deciding not to tell Harry the truth she saw Ron begin to open his mouth but shook her head quickly and probably the memory of her threat kept him from saying anything. She gave Harry a shaky smile and nodded. Thankfully that was enough of an answer for him and he turned to speak with Ron.
Lying back this time Hermione had thoughts of her own to keep the memorys out. She realized that Harry had been deeply changed this summer, and no wonder. Not many people had gone unchanged from the Dance. So many people had died, and Harry was the only one who survived being taken captive, or so he thought. Realizing that this was leading to dangerous grounds she focused on the new Muggle card game Harry was teaching Ginny and cleared her mind of everything else untill they reached Hogwarts.
"There you are!," Ron, smiling walked into the carriage. He looked happy, too happy, Hermione tried to smile and Ron failed to notice how fake it was. Hermione noticed Ron kept throwing odd glances at her. No, thought Hermione, it can't be that obvious, he must be thinking something else. She caught his eye when he glanced at her yet again and he blushed.
Suddenly looking around Hermione realized Harry wasn't there, "Wheres Harry?," she asked Ron and now he looked down at his shoes.
"He-He's with McGonagall and Lavender, because he's Head Boy." Hermione understood, Ron thought it was odd that Hermione was not Head Girl and didn't want to bring it up. Who would have thought Hermione wouldn't be Head Girl? She was practicaly made for the job. But she had gotten the letter, and realized there was no way that she could cope with work that came with the honour. Not now. She had written back, telling them she couldn't do it, she had not told them the real reason, but they did not question her.
Smiling up at Ron Hermione tried to ease the tension that was radiating out of her friend, "I did get the letter but I told them I didn't want to be Head Girl." Ron just stared at her and her smile faultered. He wasn't just going to believe that, It wasn't something Hermione would do. At least not something that the old Hermione, the only one he knew would do. She racked her brain, what would the old Hermione have turned down that honour for, then it came to her, "I thought that with the NEWTS coming up I had better study hard. I need high marks and I didn't think that I could study as much as I need to if I had to deal with all the rotten kids. In fact I have already started"
"Oh," Ron nodded and sat down with a hard thunk and starded unwrapping a chocolate frog. The silence slowly blossomed over the space, and began to smother Hemione. Why did she have to come early? She should have come right before the train left, and other people would be to deep in conversation with eachother to notice her. Her eyes started to close again but she made them stay open, glancing up at ron she realized that he did not find the silence awkward at all. He was engrossed in eating, and had probably forgotten that she was even there.
"So.," Ron glanced up from his food at Hermione as she thought of something to talk about. "So.are you going to be keeper on the quidditch team again this year?" Ron blushed and shrugged, he probably would be, that last game he had played had apparantly gone realy well. She felt bad that she hadn't been there to watch it. Again the silence began to fill the carriage and the voices of Hermiones nightmares began to once again fill her head. She tried to talk to keep them out.
"I'm surprised Lavender got Head Girl instead of me, I had thought that it would be Parvarti." Stupid girl, you think you can escape, oh no, your mine. "I wonder whats taking Harry so long, it is taking him a long time isn't it?"No ones going to come to save you, they don't care about oyu, if fact they don't even know that you are here. "It didn't take this long when we were prefects, hey you're not head boy? Thats weird usualy prefects become the Head Boy and Girl." They aren't going to look for you, you don't matter to them. Only Harry matters. "Where is Ginny and Neville I wonder, are we early or something? Except you would have come with Ginny right?" Now be a good girl, it wont hurt, oh come on it will only hurt if you struggle, but make sure you scream nice and loud, Harry is in the room right next to us. Oh, yes, and he will hear everything that happens in here. He might not know it is you, but he will still hear, aww, poor Harry being subjected to that. What, cat got your tongue no, well then we will just have to-
"Hermione, Hermione wake up," Rons voice swam in to her head, he sounded panicked, she tried to open her eyes, and only saw blurs of colour. "Come on 'Mione, wake up!" This time when she opened her eyes everyhing looked normal and Ron sat back, releif clear in his eyes. "Are-are you okay, you were shaking and you were all pale and," Rons voice broke off as Harry, Ginny, and Neville walked into the carriage. They all started chatting at once and Hemione moved over to sit by Ron to leave room for evryone else.
"Don't tell anyone about what just happened, or I will hex you so bad you will never want to be seen in public again." Ron gulped, looked nervously at Hermione and slowly nodded his head. Hermione smiled and lay back staring into blankly at the roof so that she would not have to talk to anyone. She listened very carefully to their conversation, though so she could shut everything else out of her head. She should have known it was too good to last, no one was going to ignore her for the entire train ride. Beside her she felt Ron shift and someone plunked down beside her, not even looking she knew it was Harry.
There was a pause before he began to talk, "So.You're awfully silent, I suppose you are upset." Hermione looked at him sharply but luckily he continued before she had a chance to say anything, "I mean, not getting Head Girl and everything. I thought that was just odd, I asked McGonagall, but she wouldn't tell me why. So.I'm sorry." Deciding not to tell Harry the truth she saw Ron begin to open his mouth but shook her head quickly and probably the memory of her threat kept him from saying anything. She gave Harry a shaky smile and nodded. Thankfully that was enough of an answer for him and he turned to speak with Ron.
Lying back this time Hermione had thoughts of her own to keep the memorys out. She realized that Harry had been deeply changed this summer, and no wonder. Not many people had gone unchanged from the Dance. So many people had died, and Harry was the only one who survived being taken captive, or so he thought. Realizing that this was leading to dangerous grounds she focused on the new Muggle card game Harry was teaching Ginny and cleared her mind of everything else untill they reached Hogwarts.
