To Heal A Scarred Sky

by Aki Midori

diScLaimers: Standard discloaimers apply.

Blah:

This is a sequel to 'The Fireworks Scarred the Sky'... and uh... no, this isn't an experiment anymore. Just a sequel... coz I feel like it. ^_^

WARNINGS: Yaoi, people. But I'm a yaoi... SenRu writer, so... I guess you know that already. Oh, and jerk-attack? Be sure to read 'The Fireworks...' first before reading this. Otherwise, it'll spoil everything.

------------------------------------------------------------

To Heal a Scarred Sky

by Aki Midori

***************************************

~These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just to real

There's just too much that time cannot erase.~

-From 'My Immortal'. Evanescence

***************************************

/Sendoh/

The sky is unreachable.

It engulfs the whole of the earth. It expands towards everywhere, reaching out towards nowhere. It goes on and on and on. It's always there.

Forever.

The sky has withstood the worst of treatments. Polluted, fired upon, adulterated with thick, black smoke. Abused.

Yet it's still there. Beautiful as ever.

Always there... but unreachable.

How do I heal a scarred sky?

***

I see you. I walk towards you.

You walk away.

***

I give you flowers.

You send them back.

***

I tell you I love you.

You ignore me.

***

"I'm sorry, Kaede."

"No more, Sendoh."

***

You wouldn't even give me the chance.

***

"A letter, Hiro?"

"Yes. It's worth a shot."

"What I did was unforgivable. How could a puny letter make up for everything I did?"

"Letters aren't puny when they came from the heart."

"I'll give it a shot."

***

I found the letter on an overflowing garbage can.

Unopened.

***

You wouldn't even give me the chance.

***

/Rukawa/

Sorry? Bullshit.

I loved you.

I tried to understand you.

I tried to defend you.

But in the end... it wasn't enough.

You still hurt me.

In the end, I had to let you go.

For you.

For me.

For us.

Because I love you.

***

You reach out.

I walk away.

***

Dreams... of you and me, under the purple sky.

Forged colors danced above us, illuminating the dark, dark world.

You held my hand in yours.

It was forever.

***

Nightmares... of lying on an empty bed. Cold. Alone. Scared.

Scarred.

***

Dreams... of eating ice cream on a sunny autumn day.

***

Nightmares... images of you and a faceless figure kissing under the rain.

... of me turning my back on the scene and going to your warm embrace.

Because you promised me forever.

***

Dreams... of swirling colors. Blue and yellow and red and orange and green.

Swirling, swirling, swirling...

Turning into a gyre, sucking me in.

And then I was there, walking away from you...

Nightmares.

***

"Nightmares, Kaede?"

"Hai, neechan."

"Don't you think it's time for you to heal?"

"These wounds run too deep. They won't heal, ever."

"They won't heal because you won't let them."

"Neechan?"

"Let it go. Live. Again."

***

But I can't. It's too painful.

***

/Sendoh/

Rain... cold, cold rain.

The sky is crying.

Because of me.

***

You're standing in front of me.

You're crying.

Let me wipe away your tears... please.

I'm sorry.

***

"You're sorry?"

Don't mock me.

"You're sorry?"

I am.

"You hurt me."

I love you.

"I played the fool for you."

I didn't mean to hurt you.

"It was too much."

I'm sorry.

***

I couldn't say a thing.

***

"You're not saying anything."

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry."

I am. Please don't mock me.

"You're sorry."

Please...

"I loved you."

I know.

"But I've changed."

No.

"Dreams and nightmares. Tears. Pain. They changed me."

Come back.

"Scars."

Let me heal them.

"You forgot your promise."

"I'm here to make up for everything."

"How can I trust you again?"

Please...

Silence...

... and you opened your mouth.

Again and again, it echoed in my mind... those cruel words. Taunting me. Mocking me.

Tears run down my face.

I'm crying with the sky.

***

Stop.

"No more."

It never stopped.

***

The sky is unreachable.

********

o.wa.ri

********

21 July 2003