AN: I don't own anything…still… LOL

Hermione continued writing in her journal.

I met Draco at the Three Broomsticks. We had a very nice time. He bought me flowers; it was very sweet. After that afternoon, I promised myself I wouldn't judge someone right away, and I will always remember that people can change.

Anyway, to make a long story short, Draco asked me out again. I accepted.

We were still going out during Christmas break. He had gone to his aunt and uncle's house for vacation. I elected to stay at Hogwarts, to keep Harry and Ron company. Ron had to stay because his parents were visiting Bill for the holiday. Christmas at Hogwarts is extraordinary. I love it.

On Christmas morning, I awoke to a pile of presents on the foot of my bed. I brought them all, still wrapped, to the boys' dormitory, so I could see Harry and Ron. Ron was already putting on the sweater his mother made for him, grumbling how he hates maroon. I laughed as I entered. Ron gave me a look after he pulled the sweater over his head. Harry laughed at that.

We then unwrapped all the presents. Harry and Ron said they both loved their presents from me. They each got that new broom cleaning kit they saw at Quality Quidditch Supplies over summer break. I also got Harry a box of chocolate frogs, and Ron a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans.

I got this journal from Harry; it is the same color of his eyes, emerald green. It also has a white rose on the front, my favorite flower.

Ron gave me a book, surprise, surprise. It has the history of every famous witch or wizard that went to Hogwarts, I love it.

Harry noticed that I hadn't opened a gift yet, and he looked to see who it was from. His eyes narrowed as he saw the name. Draco. I knew that Harry and Ron hadn't been to pleased when they found out that Draco and I were going out, but I thought he had gotten over it a bit, for my sake. I was actually surprised, because I figured it would be Ron that would still harbor bad feelings toward Draco, not Harry. I sighed and rolled my eyes at him. He managed a small smile before tearing open his chocolate frogs and eating one.

I opened the present from Draco. Ron gaped at it. It was a rose made out of glass. The color changed every few seconds. I put it on Harry's bed for a minute, and it rose in the air and hovered just in front of my face. Then it began to revolve slowly. Music began to emit from the glass flower. It was the same tune many music boxes make. It reminded me of my mother's music box that she loved so dearly.

"I've heard of those, they're called 'Musical Roses,' not very creative title, but you get the idea. I heard they cost a fortune!" Ron said incredulously. I looked at him, wondering if it was true. Would Draco really spend that much on me? I asked myself. Then I grinned, because this proved that Draco actually liked me, and he wasn't just playing a cruel, evil joke.

Harry eyed the rose with contempt. For some reason, my heart gave a quick flutter. I found this odd, because I hadn't thought of Harry in that way since I started going out with Draco. True, I had had a crush on Harry since fifth year, but I thought I had gotten over it. I was with Draco now.

That is really where the story starts to take shape. I started remembering all the feelings I used to have for Harry, and how he used to make my insides squirm, and how I got butterflies in my stomach when I was near him. From that day on, I started realizing that my feelings toward Harry might not have disappeared completely, like I had originally thought.

This scared me, because I wasn't supposed to like my best friend when I'm going out with someone, least of all his enemy.

But anyway, I tried to act as if everything was normal, and nobody called me on it, so I figured I was a pretty good actress.

The next major event happened in March. I was outside, by the lake. Draco and I were just lying on the grass, talking. It was unusually warm out. The Gryffindors were having a quidditch practice, and I was watching it. Draco was watching as well, probably trying to gain some inside knowledge of how the team works. I didn't really care though. I was wondering to myself who I would root for in the Quidditch Championship Game if it was down to Gryffindor and Slytherin when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I knew it wasn't Draco, because Draco was lying down on the other side of me. I saw Draco look up and give a sneer. Then I knew it was Harry. I turned around to look at him, and he spoke, "Hermione? Can I talk to you for a minute? I won't be long, I promise."

I looked at Draco and he sighed. I assumed this meant, "Alright, go ahead, I'm leaving." Sure enough, he stood up dramatically and walked away. I noticed Harry gave Draco's back a dirty look. I rolled my eyes behind Harry. I smiled when he turned around.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

He looked into my eyes, and I saw something in those emerald pools. Longing? It seemed to be…

Then he started to speak, "Look, I know you're not going to like what I'm going to say, but I have to say it anyway. It's been on my mind for far too long."

I tilted my head and gave him a confused stare.

He continued after taking a deep, shaky breath, "I… I li, like you… a lot. I'm sorry, but I have for a long time now… a real long time. I know that I shouldn't have told you, because you're going out with Malfoy and all… but I just had to, I had to get it off my chest." Harry's eyes looked pleading, begging for forgiveness.

I didn't know what to say, so I just stared at him; at a complete loss for words.

He nodded his head and slowly walked away, staring intently at the ground the entire time. I couldn't move. Part of me wanted to chase after him, and tell him I like him too. But another part of me told me I was crazy, that I like Draco, not Harry. I didn't know what to do.

Fortunately, the bell rang, signaling the beginning of dinner. I absentmindedly began to walk toward the Great Hall. However, I had just entered the castle when a huge crowd of people suddenly showed up, blocking my way and shouting "Fight, fight!"

I pushed myself through the crowd until I was in front of it. There I saw Draco and Harry, both had their wands out and both were staring murderously at each other. I shivered. Draco was in the middle of yelling at Harry, "—Why did you tell her that?! You know we're going out! You're supposed to be a good guy, Potter! I can't believe I ever trusted you near her!" His voice was horrifyingly furious.

"Malfoy, she was my friend first! I started liking her way back when you were still calling her a Mudblood!" Harry spat out.

I felt dizzy. Draco knows that Harry likes me!

All of a sudden, Draco turned to me. He had a look in his eyes; it was a mixture of anger, sadness, hope, and fear.

"I don't care who was friends with her first, she's my girlfriend! Not yours! So get over it and shut the hell up!" Draco yelled angrily.

I noticed that Harry's facial expression changed, at the beginning, it was full of hatred and a little of despair. But now, it was realization and sadness. I felt so bad about it.

"Why do you even care, anyway, Malfoy?! It's not like it makes any difference, you got the girl! You won!" Harry shouted back, with a bit of anguish.

I cringed for some reason when he said that. Draco gave him a nasty look, and then he started to walk toward me. When he got near enough, he kissed me. I didn't really kiss back, nor did I stop it. I was too confused by the whole ordeal. Then, when we stopped kissing, he looked back at Harry and gave him a smug grin and said, "Oh yeah, I do got the girl, don't I?" Then, very quickly, Draco pointed his wand at Harry and said a curse. Harry quickly blocked it however, and he sent his own hex toward Draco. Draco dodged it. Then they started dueling some more.

I started crying. Ron and Ginny rushed over to me and consoled me. I was crying into Ron's shoulder when I heard Professor McGonagall's brisk walk and gasp of surprise. Then she shouted, very loudly, "Fifty points from Gryffindor and Slytherin each!" Professor Sprout came bustling over, and with the help of Professor McGonagall, she stopped the dueling boys. I looked up. Professor McGonagall was restraining Harry, who still had his wand out. Professor Sprout was holding onto Draco, who looked like he was ready to kill Harry.

"Stop it, both of you!" I yelled through my tears, and then I ran to my dormitory, skipping dinner.

I was lying on my bed; my body was shaking from the gigantic sobs that escape me. I heard a soft knock on the door. I ignored it, but whoever it was, was very persistent.

"Go away!" I cried out, but it was muffled since I had my pillow over my face.

I suppose whoever it was took this as an invite to come in, because they did.

I sighed and removed the pillow from my face. It was Harry. He came over and sat on the corner of my bed. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my legs.

"Look, Mione, I'm really sorry. I didn't know Malfoy was listening when I told you… what I told you…" he said quietly.

I looked up at him, because I had been intensely staring at my bed covers. "It's not your fault," I whispered.

Harry continued, "I want you to know that I know you like Malfoy, er, Draco. I know that I'll just have to sit on the sidelines and watch you from a distance. I know that. So please don't feel sorry for me or anything," He got up, as if to leave.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the bed. I don't know what made me do it.

"Harry…" I quietly said.

He looked at me inquiringly. I took a deep breath and continued, "I had a crush on you in fifth and sixth year… the beginning of seventh as well. I used to wish so hard that you would like me, even half as much as I liked you. Then Draco asked me out. I figured, since you never seemed interested, I might as well go out with Draco, who was interested. Then, as I got to know him, really know him, I started liking him." I took another deep breath and carried on, "But lately, I've been realizing that my feelings for you haven't entirely gone away, like I had thought. And I'm just so confused right now."

Harry smiled a small smile and squeezed my hand, and it was at that point that I realized I had never let go of his hand when I pulled him back.

"Are you serious?"

I turned to my left and gasped. Draco was standing right in the doorway!

Harry groaned. Draco walked over to us, standing right by my bed.

"So, are you serious? You might still like Harry?" Draco said, his voice frighteningly calm.

I nodded, tears threatened to escape my eyes again.

Draco glared at Harry. Then he looked at me and said, "Choose."

I looked from him to Harry, and then back to him.

"Dumbledore told us there is going to be a ball in two weeks. Decide then," he stated coldly, and then he turned on his heel and walked out.

I started crying again, and Harry gave me a small hug before walking out himself.

Just after Harry had closed the door Ginny came rushing through it.

"Hermione! Are you alright? I was going to come sooner, but Ron told me to give you some time alone," Ginny said, patting my back in a friendly fashion.

I nodded slowly, but then burst into tears again.

I told Ginny what happened, including Draco giving me until the ball to decide.

"Dumbledore just told us about the ball. He said it's going to be kind of like a Prom, but I don't know what that is. Formal dresses for girls and tuxes for guys. 5th year and up," she said. I knew this already though, because Professor Dumbledore had told Draco and me, the Head Boy and Girl, this two nights ago.

I nodded. Then I explained what a Prom is to Ginny.

Two days later, I was still confused as to who I liked more, Draco or Harry.

I tried talking to Lavender about it, but she just didn't understand.

"I don't get it, what is so difficult? Just pick. Draco or Harry," Lavender said simply.

"I can't just pick one or the other. It's not just black or white. There are shades of gray mixed in it. You don't understand," I replied.

"So explain it to me," she said softly, trying to fully comprehend the situation from my point of view.

I took a deep breath and tried my best to explain it, "I like both of them. Draco has been very sweet to me. So has Harry. Harry has always stood up for me ever since I've known him. Draco has stood up for me ever since he changed. Harry has always been there for me when I needed him, but so has Draco. I can't just choose one of them… not so easily anyway. There are other factors in it."

Lavender gave me a sympathetic shrug and a little hug, and then she got up. I heard her mouth "Shades of gray" to Parvati, who nodded, as if it made perfect sense, and then she walked off with Lavender.

I sighed, and then Ron came over.

"Hey," Ron said tentatively.

I gave him a half-hearted smile and responded, "Hi, Ron."

"How are you?" he asked.

I sighed in response, but spoke also, "Eh. I just wish this would all go away."

He smiled understandingly.

"Not to bug you about it, but do you know who you're going to choose?" he asked curiously.

I waited a minute before answering, "No. But I think I'm closer. I think I just made a breakthrough."

"What kind of breakthrough?" Ron inquired.

"It's a secret," I whispered into his ear as I stood up and headed for the library.

A week later, I was talking to Ginny again about the whole situation.

"So what is going on with you and Harry and Draco?" Ginny asked casually.

I smiled at her and replied, "Nothing. Neither of them has spoken to me since… that night."

"Oh," was her response. I knew she wanted to know more, so I fed her some more information.

"I'm almost sure I know who I'm going to choose, but I'm not positive. This is really hard. I wish I could just put the Sorting Hat on and have it make the decision for me," I said sullenly and started eating my lunch.

I looked out of the corner of my eye, and I saw Ron eating and laughing with Harry a few seats to my right. Harry looked up and saw me. He gave me a small smile and then turned back to Ron. I then scanned the Slytherin table, searching for Draco. I spotted him talking to Blaise. He looked up, as if he noticed my eyes on him. He gave me a look which was half hopefulness and half resentment. I sighed. I knew Draco had every right to be mad at me, after all, I confessed to liking someone else while going out with him.

Today is now the day of the ball. I'm still not entirely sure that I have the right person in mind. I just hope that when it's time to tell the two boys my answer, my heart will be truthful to me. I also hope that the other guy will understand. I want to continue being friends with both of them.

Hermione looked up after finishing. Lavender smiled at her, and held out hand, to help Hermione off the bed. Hermione took it and pulled herself up. She straightened out her dress and headed for the door that lead to the common room. She sighed before pulling the door open.