Part Two: A Change Will Do You Good

Tony awoke the next morning to the sound of his front doorbell. Before he had the chance to react to it, however, the ringing was replaced by someone banging on the door.

His eyes opened and he rubbed them blearily, trying to see the clock. He shook his head. Who in the world would be visiting at this hour, on his day off?

"Just when I thought I could sleep in," he murmured, dragging himself up and out of bed. He pulled on his bathrobe and headed for the living room.

The frantic pounding continued. "All right, all right, I'm coming," he muttered, somewhat annoyed at the unexpected disturbance. He'd been almost relieved when Jeannie told him she wanted to visit her family this weekend; that meant that he could have some peace and quiet, if only temporarily. You never knew what might happen when Jeannie was around.

Tony opened the door, only to find a rather attractive woman with piercing blue eyes glaring at him. She was wearing obviously oversized, ill-fitting clothing, and had what looked like a man's suit jacket pulled tightly around her.

"Yes?" he asked in confusion, not recognizing the woman on his doorstep. She ignored his questioning look, pushing past him and going inside.

She stood before him. "Look at me," she demanded indignantly, opening the jacket. "Just look at me."

Tony was still sleepy, and was becoming more bewildered by the minute. He didn't understand what was going on here. All he knew was that someone he didn't know had forced her way into his living room, and that it was probably a good thing Jeannie wasn't there -- he knew how jealous she could get when other women dropped by. "Listen, Miss, I don't know who you are, but-"

"You don't know who I am?" the woman repeated. "You don't know who I am? I'm your best friend, that's who I am. Don't you recognize me?"

Tony shook his head, wondering if he should call the base. This girl clearly needed a psychiatrist, preferably a world-class one, but Dr. Bellows would do in a pinch. "No, Miss, I'm really afraid I don't."

She scowled. "Look closer."

Tony did so, mainly to humor her. Now that he was seeing her up close, he had to admit that she did look familiar. Very familiar, actually, but he just couldn't place her.

She seemed to read his expression perfectly. "Maybe this will help your memory," she said, lifting up the front of her ill-fitting shirt. Tony was just about to avert his eyes -- he was a gentleman, after all -- but she stopped before anything compromising could be seen. She pointed to a scar on her abdomen. "This is from when you almost took my appendix out -- lucky for me they found another doctor to do it." She dropped the hem of her shirt and put her hands on her hips. "Do you recognize me *now*, Tony?"

Tony couldn't suppress the look of shocked recognition on his face as understanding dawned. No wonder she looked so familiar! "Roger?" he asked, in a small voice.

She threw her hands in the air. "Finally." She stalked past him and plopped down on the couch. "You don't know what it was like trying to get over here without anybody seeing me. Plus trying to sneak out of my apartment so my neighbors wouldn't think I'd had a girl over and then kicked her out after stealing her clothes.as you can see none of mine fit; the closest I got were these things that I haven't worn for years. And shoes? Forget it. They practically fall off whenever I take a step. Where's Jeannie?"

"She went to visit her mother," Tony replied, still gazing in wonder at his friend. He couldn't help but stare at her.him, Tony corrected himself. *Him*.

Roger paled noticeably. "You're kidding."

"No," he replied, not knowing what else to say, and forced back a smile. It was kind of funny, after all -- Roger must have really annoyed Jeannie last night, and she'd apparently decided to teach him some kind of lesson.

"Are you *laughing*, Tony?" he asked.

"Look, Rog, I'm really sorry.I guess Jeannie got a little aggravated at what you were saying last night, about how women have it so easy. I'm sure she'll put you back to normal as soon as she gets back."

Roger raised an eyebrow. "She'll put *me* back to normal," he said, a strange lilt in his voice. "You haven't looked in the mirror this morning, have you?"

A sudden sinking feeling hit Tony. He' d been agreeing with most of what Roger said last night, after all. He fumbled with the tie on his bathrobe, pulling it open cautiously. He looked down.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes," said Roger, still on the couch. "And not that you don't make a nice looking girl, Tony, but I'd really like to get back to normal."

"Jeannie," Tony called, into empty air. "Jeannie!"

A small, pink piece of paper fluttered down from the ceiling. Tony caught it, then read what it said out loud.

"Dear Master, thank you for letting me visit my mother this weekend. I will be back soon; until then, I hope you and Major Healey will enjoy learning how 'easy' all us women have it. Love, Jeannie."

Tony clutched the paper in his hand, rubbing his forehead and looking at his friend apologetically.

"So what are we going to do now?" Roger exclaimed.

"I guess we just have to wait until she gets back," he said weakly.

"Well that's all right for you, but what about me? I have a date tonight! With a cute little nurse from the base who just loves men in uniform!"

"You'll just have to cancel it, Rog -- you can't go out looking like that."

Roger's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Tony blinked in surprise at his tone of voice. "It means exactly what it sounded like -- you can't go out looking like that."

"Why not?" he asked indignantly. "I happen to think that I look pretty good, considering that I've never had to get dressed with *these* before," he said, indicating the bits of his anatomy that were poorly hidden by the suit jacket.

Tony rolled his eyes, remembering how Roger had been when Jeannie turned him into a poodle -- how insulted he'd gotten when Tony said he looked old and sick, even though it had only been meant to keep those other people from taking him from the pound. He'd never realized that Roger was so touchy about his appearance; and this seemed to be the same sort of thing. "It's not that you don't look nice, Rog," he explained patiently, "but don't you think people might get a little suspicious if they see a girl dressed in Major Healey's uniform?"

"Maybe they'll just think I got lucky," he retorted.

Tony rolled his eyes again. "With a girl who looks enough like Major Healey to pass for a close relative, and who's out on a date with another girl?"

Roger frowned. "I suppose you're right," he admitted. "I'm sorry, Tony, it's just that I haven't really been feeling that good since I woke up and found myself like this." He shifted uncomfortably on the couch, rubbing at his lower abdomen. "I feel kind of sore, right here." He looked down at the place where his hand was, then glanced over at Tony with big, worried eyes. "What do you suppose that means?"

Tony's mind flashed back to basic human anatomy; in particular, female anatomy. He opened his mouth, then thought better of what he was about to say. "It means I should probably get to a drugstore," he said quickly.

Roger stared at him in disbelief, obviously realizing just what his hand was resting over. "Oh no.Tony, she wouldn't have-"

"I'm sorry, Rog.look, until I get back, you might want to take an aspirin or something," he said, giving Roger a friendly squeeze on the shoulder. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Roger slid down onto the sofa and groaned. "Jeannie!"