Part Four: What It Feels Like for a Girl
Major Anthony Nelson was not a happy man. In any sense of the word.
All the way to the drugstore, Tony had been worried that someone he knew might recognize his car, and also recognize that the person driving it wasn't him. However, that was definitely a better scenario than someone identifying both him and the car! If called on it, he supposed he could say he was Major Nelson's sister; but anyone who knew anything about him would realize it was a lie. All he could do was hope that nobody he knew saw him.it would be too hard to try to explain this away. And it would be worse when they went to the base later to pick up their work. Maybe they should take Roger's car -- they could always say that they were friends of his and the Major had lent it to them. That was more believable; Roger might do something like that if he thought it would improve his chances with a girl. He'd always been the type who could be taken in by a pretty face.
No, that wasn't fair, Tony thought. Roger just had a weakness for the fairer sex, that was all. He'd been like that since they met. He wondered how Roger would handle it if Jeannie didn't get back soon. Tony wasn't exactly comfortable with their current situation, but at least he didn't have Roger's.peculiarities.
He sighed. If only General Peterson had talked to them yesterday. Then they could have taken all the data home with them and they wouldn't even have to go out of the house (except for the visit to the drugstore) until Jeannie returned. Tony had never felt so self-conscious in his life as on this trip across town.
At least, not until he actually reached his destination.
Get in, get what he needed, and get out as quickly as possible. That was his plan. He made his way through the store, not looking at anyone and not stopping to browse until he turned down the unfamiliar aisle. But then he was confronted with another problem. He had no idea what to buy.
All right, he had a general idea of what to get. But there were a multitude of products to select from, and he really didn't know what criteria women employed to choose between them. Maybe he should just take the first thing he could grab so he could get out of there fast.
"Oh honey, you don't want that brand," said someone beside him, just as he was reaching for the shelf. "That's the cheapest kind. Try these instead."
Tony almost jumped at the familiar voice, and turned to see Amanda Bellows holding out a small box. Aside from the fact that she was now taller than him, he was surprised at the helpful expression on her face. She didn't look at all the way she usually did -- which was either irritated at her husband or mildly condescending to anyone who was below her husband's rank. Today she seemed almost friendly.
"Thank you," he replied automatically, taking it from her and reading what was on the package. "But it's not for me, it's for a friend."
"Oh.do you know what she likes to use?"
Tony paused. "I don't think she really has a preference."
"All right.tell her she should try these, and if she isn't satisfied I'd be very surprised."
"Gee thanks, Mrs. Bellows," he said with a smile.then froze as he realized what he'd just said.
She looked at him quizzically. "How did you know my name?"
"Um." he glanced around, his eyes darting frantically until they happened to fall on another familiar figure. (And for once, Tony was glad to see him.) "I recognized your husband, from a NASA tour I took." He smiled again and tried to look as innocent as possible.
"Why thank you, Miss; I'm flattered that you remember me," said Dr. Bellows, coming up behind his wife. "But I can't say that I remember you."
"Oh, you wouldn't, sir, it was a long time ago."
"I see," he said, stepping closer and peering at him intently. "You do seem very familiar, though."
"Well, I hate to be running off so soon, but I have a friend who really needs these.thanks again, Mrs. Bellows, Dr. Bellows," he said, backing away and then hurrying to the next aisle over. It happened to be the cosmetics section.
Tony looked at the makeup, then shrugged. If they had to pass as women, they should probably try to blend in as much as possible. He picked up a few things, then headed for the checkout counter. He was in such a rush to get out that he nearly dropped the money he'd had stuffed in his pocket. He was grateful that he was halfway to the door before Dr. Bellows and his wife got up to the register.
"Thank goodness that's over with," he breathed, as he drove out of the parking lot. "Now for the easy part -- burglary and grand theft."
***
As it turned out, that *was* the easy part. Tony had no trouble sneaking into a few backyards and gathering up a modest collection of women's clothing. He even managed to snag a couple of pairs of shoes someone had left out on her step. He was very proud of himself, and couldn't keep the look of triumph off his face as he pulled into his driveway and stepped through the front door.
Roger was still on the couch, curled up and clutching his belly.
"Hey, Rog," he said sympathetically, coming over to him.
"Hey, Tony. Did you, um, get.you know.?"
"Yes, and I got some other things too. We shouldn't have a problem going out later."
"I don't want to go out. I want to lie here for the rest of the week, maybe longer," he declared, curling up a bit more.
Tony patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I got some kind of extra- strength painkiller that's made especially for this sort of thing."
Roger sat up slowly. "Thanks. You're a real pal."
"Don't mention it," said Tony, and handed him the bottle of pills and a small box in a plain brown bag. Roger peeked inside, then closed it quickly and looked away. Tony cleared his throat, trying to offer his support. "Be strong, Rog. Be brave."
"Be brave?" Roger repeated, still looking dubiously at the bag. "Of all the crazy things that've happened to me since Jeannie showed up, this is probably the last thing I ever thought I'd be doing."
Tony felt like he was giving a pep talk. "Roger, you're an astronaut. You have one of the most hazardous jobs in the world -- you face danger every day, and you've done things that most men don't have the courage or the intelligence to do. What you're going through now is nothing compared to that. So go on."
Roger, still looking miserable, took another peek in the bag and moaned. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He dragged himself off the sofa, looked at Tony kind of cockeyed, and headed into the bathroom.
"Good luck," Tony offered.
From behind the door there was a groan. "I'm supposed to do *what* with these things?"
Major Anthony Nelson was not a happy man. In any sense of the word.
All the way to the drugstore, Tony had been worried that someone he knew might recognize his car, and also recognize that the person driving it wasn't him. However, that was definitely a better scenario than someone identifying both him and the car! If called on it, he supposed he could say he was Major Nelson's sister; but anyone who knew anything about him would realize it was a lie. All he could do was hope that nobody he knew saw him.it would be too hard to try to explain this away. And it would be worse when they went to the base later to pick up their work. Maybe they should take Roger's car -- they could always say that they were friends of his and the Major had lent it to them. That was more believable; Roger might do something like that if he thought it would improve his chances with a girl. He'd always been the type who could be taken in by a pretty face.
No, that wasn't fair, Tony thought. Roger just had a weakness for the fairer sex, that was all. He'd been like that since they met. He wondered how Roger would handle it if Jeannie didn't get back soon. Tony wasn't exactly comfortable with their current situation, but at least he didn't have Roger's.peculiarities.
He sighed. If only General Peterson had talked to them yesterday. Then they could have taken all the data home with them and they wouldn't even have to go out of the house (except for the visit to the drugstore) until Jeannie returned. Tony had never felt so self-conscious in his life as on this trip across town.
At least, not until he actually reached his destination.
Get in, get what he needed, and get out as quickly as possible. That was his plan. He made his way through the store, not looking at anyone and not stopping to browse until he turned down the unfamiliar aisle. But then he was confronted with another problem. He had no idea what to buy.
All right, he had a general idea of what to get. But there were a multitude of products to select from, and he really didn't know what criteria women employed to choose between them. Maybe he should just take the first thing he could grab so he could get out of there fast.
"Oh honey, you don't want that brand," said someone beside him, just as he was reaching for the shelf. "That's the cheapest kind. Try these instead."
Tony almost jumped at the familiar voice, and turned to see Amanda Bellows holding out a small box. Aside from the fact that she was now taller than him, he was surprised at the helpful expression on her face. She didn't look at all the way she usually did -- which was either irritated at her husband or mildly condescending to anyone who was below her husband's rank. Today she seemed almost friendly.
"Thank you," he replied automatically, taking it from her and reading what was on the package. "But it's not for me, it's for a friend."
"Oh.do you know what she likes to use?"
Tony paused. "I don't think she really has a preference."
"All right.tell her she should try these, and if she isn't satisfied I'd be very surprised."
"Gee thanks, Mrs. Bellows," he said with a smile.then froze as he realized what he'd just said.
She looked at him quizzically. "How did you know my name?"
"Um." he glanced around, his eyes darting frantically until they happened to fall on another familiar figure. (And for once, Tony was glad to see him.) "I recognized your husband, from a NASA tour I took." He smiled again and tried to look as innocent as possible.
"Why thank you, Miss; I'm flattered that you remember me," said Dr. Bellows, coming up behind his wife. "But I can't say that I remember you."
"Oh, you wouldn't, sir, it was a long time ago."
"I see," he said, stepping closer and peering at him intently. "You do seem very familiar, though."
"Well, I hate to be running off so soon, but I have a friend who really needs these.thanks again, Mrs. Bellows, Dr. Bellows," he said, backing away and then hurrying to the next aisle over. It happened to be the cosmetics section.
Tony looked at the makeup, then shrugged. If they had to pass as women, they should probably try to blend in as much as possible. He picked up a few things, then headed for the checkout counter. He was in such a rush to get out that he nearly dropped the money he'd had stuffed in his pocket. He was grateful that he was halfway to the door before Dr. Bellows and his wife got up to the register.
"Thank goodness that's over with," he breathed, as he drove out of the parking lot. "Now for the easy part -- burglary and grand theft."
***
As it turned out, that *was* the easy part. Tony had no trouble sneaking into a few backyards and gathering up a modest collection of women's clothing. He even managed to snag a couple of pairs of shoes someone had left out on her step. He was very proud of himself, and couldn't keep the look of triumph off his face as he pulled into his driveway and stepped through the front door.
Roger was still on the couch, curled up and clutching his belly.
"Hey, Rog," he said sympathetically, coming over to him.
"Hey, Tony. Did you, um, get.you know.?"
"Yes, and I got some other things too. We shouldn't have a problem going out later."
"I don't want to go out. I want to lie here for the rest of the week, maybe longer," he declared, curling up a bit more.
Tony patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I got some kind of extra- strength painkiller that's made especially for this sort of thing."
Roger sat up slowly. "Thanks. You're a real pal."
"Don't mention it," said Tony, and handed him the bottle of pills and a small box in a plain brown bag. Roger peeked inside, then closed it quickly and looked away. Tony cleared his throat, trying to offer his support. "Be strong, Rog. Be brave."
"Be brave?" Roger repeated, still looking dubiously at the bag. "Of all the crazy things that've happened to me since Jeannie showed up, this is probably the last thing I ever thought I'd be doing."
Tony felt like he was giving a pep talk. "Roger, you're an astronaut. You have one of the most hazardous jobs in the world -- you face danger every day, and you've done things that most men don't have the courage or the intelligence to do. What you're going through now is nothing compared to that. So go on."
Roger, still looking miserable, took another peek in the bag and moaned. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He dragged himself off the sofa, looked at Tony kind of cockeyed, and headed into the bathroom.
"Good luck," Tony offered.
From behind the door there was a groan. "I'm supposed to do *what* with these things?"
