**

a.k.a.: Les CrazyforMiserablesYou

A/N: BE PREPARED! For scene 5! ..yea..

Act II Scene 5a

//scene, Great Hall, EVERYONE IN STUDENT BODY AND FACULTY there//

RON: //talking to HARRY// It's too bad Trelawney the old bird got kicked out last year.

HARRY: But the new professor is much better, don't you think?

RON: Definitely! No one can beat your godfather Siri-I mean..Snuffles as a professor.

HARRY: His name is Salamer, Professor Salamer Blank.

RON: Oh, yes, right.

//HARRY and RON walk away//

HAGRID: //running up to DUMBLEDORE, confidentially// Albus, just out o' curiosity, if you aren't Minevera's real father, who is?

DUMBLEDORE: Hagrid, father, I'm not sure who, yet Minevera's mother was Sybil, Sybil Trelawney.

HAGRID: SYBIL!!?? //DUMBLEDORE tries to hush him up// Oh, yes. Sorry.

DUMBLEDORE: Yes, Sybil. I met her a long time ago, before she taught here. Voldemort had taken her, yet she managed to get away, with no harm done but a simple yet powerful memory charm. Yes, she forgot everything of her past life, and I pitied her and took her in as a professor, but she was much more than that in her past life, you know. She was a true seer, an oracle in Athens, Greece, her last name was Mcgonagall too. The memory charm drove her to wretchedness. So I took Minevera in as my own, and pretended that things were all right. Until..

HAGRID: Until last year, right?

DUMBLEDORE: Yes, somehow Severus managed to bring up that old subject again and for some reason or another, Lucius Malfoy persuaded the board to dump her and I had absolutely no control over it.

HAGRID: I wonder where she is now.

//black out lights//

Act II Scene 5b

//scene, streets of Hogsmeade, TRELAWNEY on her knees in the cold, windy, cold, dreary, miserable-LES MISERABLES! MWHAHAHHAA *author runs off cackling madly*//

(Song: "Memory" from Cats)

TREWLAWNEY: Midnight, not a sound from the pavement.

Has the moon lost her memory?

She is smiling alone.

In the lamplight, the withered leaves collect at my feet.

And the wind begins to moan.

Memory. All alone in the moon light.

I can smile at the old days.

I was beautiful then.

I remember the time I knew what happiness was.

Let the memory live again.

Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning.

Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters.

And soon it will be morning.

Daylight. I must wait for the sunrise.

I must think of a new life.

And I mustn't give in.

When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too.

And a new day will begin.

Burnt out ends of smoky days,

The stale cold smell of morning.

The street lamp dies, another night is over,

Another day is dawning.

//now coughing madly and reaching out to VARIOUS PEOPLE on the streets// Touch me! It's so easy to leave me!

All alone with the memory,

Of my days in the sun.

If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is.

Look, a new day has begun.

//coughs out blood, head hits against building, eyes go backwards into head, arms and torso go limp, TRELAWNEY dead//

(end song)

Act II Scene 6

//scene, Mental Institution, CRAZY PEOPLES all at the barricades, waiting for action, ENJOLRAS waving a red flag upon the barricades, HERBERT and HERMIONE talking at a table//

HERMIONE: You're really not that serious about this "revolution" of theirs are you?

HERBERT: Sure, why not? I mean, there is a chance that Bob might understand his wrong-doings through this. What about you?

HERMIONE: I just want to be a regular teenager! //sobs and drops to her knees// My sister, Colette is somewhere with this innkeeper and his wife and now that I can't pay for her keep, they might send her out onto the streets! As of now, I'm not sure if she's even alive! With my condition, stuck in this horrid, whacked place //HERBERT looks offended// sorry, but, stuck here, I won't be able to get her myself. I used to run a very normal life, believe it or not! I had-and hope I still have, a boyfriend at Hogwarts, where I used to go, I kept up with my studies and everything, but then that tragedy happened! And now I'm stuck here, with no one on my side!

HERBERT: Hermione..I'm so, so sorry.

//BOB enters with RON dressed up as a mental person, MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKERS come in too//

HERMIONE: //gasp// Ron!

RON: shh!

BOB: //clears throat// Good morning guys this is-

ENJOLRAS: FIRE!!!! //CRAZY PEOPLE start throwing odd objects such as rubber chickens and pens and pencils at BOB and STAFF//

BOB: Wait, hey! What's this fighting all about, this is a mental institution, not a circus! Now come on, everyone, settle down. I run a business of repute, I am Bob, the Head of this Institution. I look to you to sort this out and be as patient as you can-

CRAZY PERSON 1: //jumps over barricades and grabs BOB's shirt collar// Valjean! At last! We see each other plain! M'sieur L'mayor, you'll wear a different chain!

BOB: Before you say another word, patient, before you chain anyone up like a slave again, listen to me, there is something I must do. //points to RON// This person has come here, suffering of an illness, there is none but us who can take him in. In mercy's name, three days are all I need. Then I'll return, I pledge my word, then I'll return-

HERMIONE: Umm..what's going on here?

BOB: //blushes// Aha-never mind..where were we-

ENJOLRAS: FIRE!! //throwing of weird objects starts again//

//another NURSE pulls ENJOLRAS down from the barricades and wheels him away in the wheelchair. Fighting stops//

BOB: Yes, thank you. Now where was I? Yes. //pointing to RON// This is David Hersey. He is new here, and is to stay with us. Be nice to him.

WHOLE MENTAL INSTITUTE: //in unison// Yes, Bob.

MENTAL INSTITUTION WORKER: //exclusively to BOB// Bob, what exactly is his problem?

BOB: He thinks he's some lighting designer of some stage show called..what was it?

RON: Cats.

BOB: Yes, Kittens.

RON: Cats.

BOB: Yes, Kats

RON: Cats!

BOB: That is exactly what I said: KATS!!!

RON: No, Cats!

BOB: Don't toy with me, little boy! You said KATS and that's THAT!!!

RON: //pulling on hair and screaming// NO!!

//BOB summons NURSES to take RON and sit him down at a table coincidentally near HERMIONE, spot on RON and HERMIONE//

HERMIONE: //rushes over to RON// Ron! What's wrong?! Are you really-

RON: Shh..It's a disguise. Don't worry. You'll be out in no time.

HERMIONE: //coughs// Really!? Oh thank you! //coughs again// Colette! Oh hold on! Colette!

RON: We'll be leaving tomorrow. Pack your bags!

HERMIONE: But how will I pay for the tuition at Hogwarts?

RON: Oh, don't worry about that, 'Mione, Dumbledore's got it all covered. //RON and HERMIONE share a passionate kiss while HERBERT looks at them with disgust.//

Act II Scene 7

//Henry Rettop walks by, smiles, and hurries off to classes//

//end scene//

Act II Scene 8

//scene, half Gryiffindor common room, half Mental institution, Mental revolutionaries sitting at barricade, HERMIONE, RON and HERBERT sitting there// (song One Day More, from Les Miserables)

DUMBLEDORE: //striding into common room, scaring students// One day more!

Another day another destiny

This never-ending road to Calvary.

These men who seem to know Sybil will surely come for some more kibble, one day mo-ore-

//lights up on Mental Institution//

HERBERT: I did not live until todaaaaaaay.

How can I live when we are parted?

One day more.

HERBERT (now with HERMIONE): Tomorrow you'll be worlds awaaaaaay,

HERBERT(on his own): And yet with you my world has started.

//lights back up on Gryff. Common Room (GCR)//

PAVARTI: One more day all on my own.

GINNY: //staring after HARRY// Will we ever kiss again?

PAVARTI: One more day with Ron not caring.

GINNY: I thought I was born to be with him.

What a life I might have known.

Yet we sweared we would be true.

But he doesn't see me heeeeeeeeeeeeeere----

//lights up on Mental Institution//

ENJOLRAS: //being wheeled into room// One more day before the storm!

HERBERT: Do I follow where she goes?

ENJOLRAS: At our barricades of freedom!

HERBERT: Do I join my brothers there?

ENJOLRAS: When our ranks begin to form!

HERBERT: Do I stay, do I dare?

ENJOLRAS: Will you take your place with me?

THE WHOLE MENTAL INSTITUTION: THE TIME IS NOW, THE DAY IS

HEEEEEEEEE-RE

DUMBLEDORE: ONE DAY MOORE!!!

SNAPE: //also strides into Gryffindor Common room, scaring students even more,// One day more of stupid teaching,

Those kids, they're up to no good,

I will join those little schoolboys,

I will wet them with their blood.

BOB: Watch 'em run amuck,

catch 'em as they fall,

Never know your luck when there's a-no-ther brawl.

Here they think they're spiff,

There they think they're tough,

But no one really likes 'em when they're out on their own.

HOGWARTS STUDENT BODY: //also pouring into Gryffindor Common room, terrifying poor Gryffindors//

One day to a new lesson!

CRAZY PEOPLE: Let Bob's discrimination die.

H.S.B.: Let us pass these classes with zing.

CRAZY PEOPLE: Every man will be a king!

H.S.B.: Quidditch matches to be winning.

CRAZY PEOPLE: There's a new world to be won!

Do you hear the people sing!!??

HERBERT: //stepping in line with the now marching CRAZY PEOPLE// My place, is here,

I fight with YOU!!

DUMBLEDORE: ONE DAY MOOOOOOORE!!

WHOLE CAST: Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in Heaven has in store..

One more dawn,

One more day,

ONE DAY MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!

(end song) //end Act II//

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN LES MIS OR HARRY POTTER

Songs:

"Memory"-Cats, by Andrew Lloyd Webber

"One Day More"-Les Miserables, by Claude-Michel Schonberg, and Herbert Kretzmer

A/A: My sincerest apologies to you for this chapter..erm-half of act. I promise the plot will thicken and there will be more songs in the next installment. If not, you can raid my house with plants and small animals. K, R/R!! Flames are welcomed for this chapter only!

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