Disclaimer: Buffy does not belong to me. Assorted wrestlers do not belong to me. Good for me. Fifteen years ago, the World Wildlife Fund changed it's name to the Worldwide Fund for Nature. Um, sorry if I'm dumb, but isn't that WFN?

Author: Chimera

Title: Pretences

Summary: Willow and Buffy come to visit Willow's cousin. Her cousin is the Undertaker. Matt Hardy is an a--hole. Which one doesn't fit? If you're leaning towards any of them, you'd better take a look at the real story…

Notes: Um…WWE timing…just after Royal Rumble 2002. And for the sake of this story, pretend that the Hardyz re-signed their contracts in February, not a couple of months ago. And oh yeah, X-Pac's back. Sorry to any X-Pac fans, but I just couldn't think of anyone else to fill in the role he plays. Buffy timing…geez…after the Tara/Willow relationship got started, but they broke up. No Dawn, no Glory, no Buffy death, Faith is out of coma and ass-kickin' around Sunnydale.

Plug: Lady Arianna's fics…Standing's fics…pandora's fics…yadda yadda…

2nd Plug: http://wrestlingfate.thaiandjen.com - the best and I think only Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossed with WWE site on the 'Net.

3rd Plug: (geez, I'm getting good at these…) http://midnitesoc.tripod.com/wrestle/art.html - some of the best wrestling art I've ever seen…that chibi-Edge and Christian sketch is so cute!

   Willow was bouncing. And babbling, but that was the second thing people noticed. It wasn't exactly normal for a twenty-something female to be bouncing. Even in the WWE.

   "Calm down Willow!" Buffy exclaimed. Despite being Willow's friend for almost six years, this had reached a new level in caffeinated funkiness.

   "Can't calm down too excited why did you let me have coffee on the plane I will kill you later when I'm sane hey that rhymed I'm a poet now oh my gosh sorry mister!" Willow ended as she bounced into someone, knocking a bunch of papers out of the others' hand.

   The guy smiled at her, ducking down to the floor but not picking up the spilled folders. "No problem…" He cocked his head to the side, a wrinkle appearing just above his eyebrows. "I haven't seen you around before. What's your name?"

   "The hyper machine is Willow, and I'm Buffy," the Slayer said, instantly sizing the man up. Good build, honest eyes and face, reasonably normal attire…then again, she had known some of those in her time. Even green eyes matching Willow's couldn't be trusted. Neither could the street clothes of a 'LUGZ' singlet and long khakis. But those eyes…a lot of things hidden in those eyes.

   "Nice to meet you," the man offered, picking up the various documents scattered on the floor. As he reached around to pick up one that had gone behind him, Buffy couldn't resist. She checked out his butt. _Yummy…_ She raised her eyebrows as Willow bent over slightly to get a better look. She coughed a little, and Willow glanced over at her before hiding her face…blushing. "I'll see you around sometime," he offered as he collected the last of the papers. He waved as he walked away.

   "What's your name?" Buffy yelled as the man was about to disappear around a corner.

   The man turned, and it looked as if he was about to stop to hear the question again. Another, opposing yell from beyond the corner drew his attention, however, and he simply flashed two fingers and his thumb of one hand before moving out of sight.

   Willow had calmed down after her little high, and was glancing after the guy curiously. "He's nice."

   "Who was he?" Buffy asked.

   Willow shrugged. "What am I, Linda McMahon? The only connection I have to here is that my cousin works here. I've watched exactly one show, and that was back in what…98 when you went with me. Remember?"

   "That was weird…although that guy was incredibly cute," Buffy remembered dreamily, thinking of a certain long-haired blond with a kiss mark on his derriere.

   Green eyes rolled slightly in exasperation. "His name alone made the censor go nuts, and saying 'Suck it!' every five minutes was…probably the biggest turn-on ever wasn't it?"

   Buffy grinned. "It would be a challenge to do that much sucking."

   Giggling the two girls continued walking down the halls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Lita watched as Jeff rounded the corner, pausing for a moment before continuing, as if finishing a conversation with someone. "Come on dude!" she yelled, holding open the exit door. He finished the conversation, motioning with one hand and holding a bunch of papers in his other hand. "C'mon Hardy," she needled, sticking out her tongue at him. "Half an hour to get the contracts from Linda? You're losing your touch."

   "No, she just likes me," he said huffily, dumping the papers in the tiny trunk of their equally tiny rental convertible.

   "Where's Matt?" she questioned.

   "What do I look like, his keeper? Although that boy does need one…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   "I'm telling you, the Ass-man was cuter than the puppy!" Buffy insisted.

   Willow shook her head adamantly. "No way, Jose. Road Dogg is much cuter than Mr. Ass…" She frowned. "What kind of name is Mr. Ass anyway?"

   "A very good one, I'd like to imagine," a deep male voice said from behind them.

   Both girls screamed, whirling around in a bout of teenage-helpless-female syndrome. They met a good-natured grin, topped off by a mop of short blonde hair and laughing blue eyes.

   "You're…you're…" Buffy stammered.

   "I'm Billy, nice to meet you two," Billy Gunn said, offering a hand to Buffy. He lingered slightly as she slipped her hand into his, seemingly entranced by the Slayer.

   "Um, is it now I'm supposed to interrupt?" Willow questioned.

   Buffy spared her friend a glance. "Not yet. Give us a couple…more…hours…" she trailed, turning her gaze back to Billy.

   Willow rolled her eyes, and jumped again slightly as she noticed another guy coming down the hallway towards them. He had long blond (she instantly thought of a peroxide job) hair tied in a ponytail, and had a little bit of a baby face. He raised an eyebrow as he watched Billy and Buffy, and came to stand beside her, still not speaking. He pretended to consider something, then shook his head.

   "He's gone," he said plainly. He moved his look towards Willow. "Hi. I'm Chuck. Do you think they'll be done any time soon?"

   Willow shrugged. "I'm Willow. And no, I don't think stopping is in the near future."

   "Uh, well, that's kinda bad, 'cause Billy needs to snap out of it. We have a match in about five minutes, and if he ain't participating I'm gonna get my ass kicked. No real pun intended."

   "Righto." Willow stared at Buffy and Billy for a few more seconds before yelling, "Just grope and make out already!" She turned back to Chuck. "So who're you wrestling?"

   "APA." At the blank look on her face he reiterated. "Faarooq and Bradshaw?" Willow just shrugged. "Acolyte Protection Agency?"

   "This isn't ringing a bell." Willow shrugged again. "I don't watch wrestling, sorry."

   "You're here visiting someone then?" Chuck questioned.

   "Yep, my cousin. Actually, more a mother's-sister's-son-in-law kind of deal."

   "Oh, the mystery thins. Would I know this cousin of yours?"

   "Most probably. He's a little hard to miss."

   "Okay, he's married…I would think…" He checked for confirmation as Willow nodded. "…hard to miss…" He shrugged. "There's a lot of guys here that fit the bill, sorry."

   "S'okay. He probably didn't mention me coming…he's kinda aloof-slash-antisocial."

   A stagehand passed, slapping Chuck on the shoulder and saying, "You guys need to get your butts in the ring. APA just went out."

   Chuck went pale, grabbing Billy's arm and dragging him off. "See you later!" he called over his shoulder.

   Willow and Buffy watched as they headed out of sight, Billy turning to look over his shoulder a few times.

   "Billy."

   "Road Dogg."

   "What would you know? You're gay, remember?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   The pair entered a small hallway, ending at a single red door. Buffy read his name on the door; raising her eyebrow at the funky devil design it was printed on. "Let's go."

   Willow opened the door, preparing to surprise her cousin. Instead, she was the one surprised.

   Matt snarled at the Undertaker, keeping the blade decisively between the two of them. "You know what I can do, Markie," he threatened. "In…and _out_ of the ring." 'Taker simply stared into his eyes, the brown swirls of colour furious in icy anger. "You touch them again…"

   "And what? You'll come up here and threaten me some more?" Mark asked, leaning down closer to Matt. That was only for a moment, as the forearm across the Deadman's throat kinda blocked any planned movement.

   Matt smiled a little. "I'll do more than threaten." He took the switchblade, currently resting on Mark's chest, and drew it slowly upwards, smiling larger as fear grew in Mark's eyes. He stopped at Mark's throat, tracing up and down lightly, his brown pools following the silver glint like they were magnetized together. "Ah'll do what Mick Foley and Shawn Michaels never got around to doing…end your career. It won't be in the ring, howevah," he whispered, a purring undertone in his voice.

   Suddenly he pushed himself away, flicking the blade closed in one movement. The dark-haired man glanced around, the feeling of being watched now overwhelming.

   "You've got visitors, Mark,' he smirked, pointing with the now-harmless pocketknife towards the door. "A cute brunette and a gorgeous redhead. Then again, you would know about redheads, wouldn't you?"

   Buffy was frozen. _Holy crapola, is this guy going to kill us?_

   Mark said nothing, apparently pleasing the man even more. "You asked me, Mark. Unfortunately I couldn't say much at the time but…was the bitch really worth it?" Matt flicked the knife into a pocket of his baggy cargo pants. "Now I ask you…were we really worth it?"

   He walked out, stopping at the door, just inches from Buffy and Willow. Buffy instinctively pushed Willow behind her, knowing her Slayer strength could be easily used if this guy tried anything.

   "Ladies," he acknowledged. He and Buffy stared at one another. An hour's worth of unspoken battles waged between the pair of light brown eyes belonging to the Slayer and a darker pair belonging to the stranger. He smiled a little, and bowed his head as if conceding to the Slayer. With a slight narrowing of her eyes, Buffy let him through, and he walked off without a care in the world. Just like he hadn't just threatened Willow's cousin's life.

   There was silence.

   "It always like that here?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   "So you actually decided to show up, hey hotshot?"

   Matt scowled, whacking Jeff upside the head. He overreacted comically, falling into the front seat beside Lita who was driving. She growled at him a little as his un-dyed blond hair blocked her vision of the road. "Idiot."

   He bounced back into a proper sitting position. As opposed to his normal position of propping himself against Lita and trying out his newest versions of puppy-dog eyes. "So what, you were giving out some nookies to Sean?" Jeff riled.

   Matt raised his eyes to the sky in search of non-forthcoming guidance on how to deal with obnoxious younger siblings. "No, Sean is not here. Believe me, I checked."

   Lita shook her head. "I think if he and Sean were huddled in a bathroom somewhere we'd be waiting a lot longer."

   "We can be quick when we want to be," Matt protested slowly. _Going through memories here…um, that was pretty much a lie, dude._

   Jeff raised a hand as they drove out of the car park. "This is very much heading for bad topics for my innocent and brotherly ears to be hearing." Glancing back at Matt, he saw his brother's dark eyes narrowed, and quickly got the message. Act normal, but we need to talk. He nodded imperceptibly, before turning back to Lita, who was oblivious.

   "Aw, poor schnookums, you need a little help to get over your sexuality issues?" Lita teased.

   Jeff sent her a look. "Only if you help me," he said seductively before bursting out into giggles.

   Matt rolled his eyes. "One word; EW!"

   "Oh shut up. Have you ever actually listened to yourself and Sean when you talk? It's sickening." The only redhead in the car made a face. "I love you sweetie," she mimicked.

   "No, I love you more!" Jeff replied, a grin on his face.

   "No I love you more honey!"

   "No, me!"

   "No, me!"

   "No, me!"

   "No, me!"

   "No, me!"

   "No, me!"

   "No, me times infinity!"

   "Me times infinity plus one!"

   Jeff pouted.

   "You always win."

   Matt banged his head against the seat in front repeatedly. "I hate you people."

   "We love you too Matty bro."

   "Yeah, we love you…can I borrow your credit card when we get back?"

   Matt could only groan in response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   "Nice job you have here, Mark," Willow commented.

   Dark eyes frowned at her from under equally dark lashes. "Not all the time."

   "So who was that?" Willow pressed on.

   "Matthew. He's a little bitch. Pardon the language."

   Willow wrinkled her nose as Mark untangled his bootlaces. "Why was he so…"

   "…asshole-ish?" Mark questioned, then shrugged. "That's his nature. No one decent backstage actually likes him."

   "I'll keep that in mind," Willow responded quietly. Something had struck her as odd about this 'Matthew' person…something oddly familiar…those haunted eyes…

   Buffy had been silent, staring at the grey locker in front of her. The man had 'conceded' the opening battle of wills to her, but something that she couldn't put into words was in his eyes…a mixture of two things.

   Knowledge.

   And strength.

   She knew that battle of the eyes was a long time from the end.

   And the next time they saw each other he might not concede. He was too strong for that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   "Tonight?"

   "Tomorrow. My room. Three o'clock. Need to talk."

   The conversation was done in whispers. Jeff nodded again. His brother was really serious this time.

   Great. More death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Matt lay in bed that night, listening to the faintly rasping breath of his lover. He looked down at Sean, watching the faint gusts of breath blow around a few loose strands of flyaway black. He was nothing but indifferent to the pretence that was Sean, on the inside.

   Outside, he was a loving, caring boyfriend.

   With an equally loving, caring boyfriend.

   That just happened to cheat on him every time a nice ass or good pair of breasts walked by.

   With a sudden rush of certainty, he smiled. Matt and Sean would be as dead as DX in the morning.

   Considering that most of the members of DX weren't even wrestling anymore…

   He was a free man.

   Now, if only he could handle the Slayer with the same amount of certainty…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Buffy and Willow settled in for the night, jet lag catching up to them. After they had switched the lights off Buffy lay there, listening to Willow's breathing. She stared up at the ceiling; despite it being a pretty expensive hotel there was some kind of glow-in-the-dark paint spots arranged in some kind of pattern on the roof. In an effort to get back to sleep she started counting them, rearranging them, trying to figure out what kind of design they were painted for…

   Thirteen spots.

   Rearranging them led to a smiley face, a detailed cross, and a bottle.

   But the design…

   That was the unusual thing.

   It looked familiar, but she didn't know what it was from.

   "Can you please think quieter?" a sleepy voice from across the room complained.

   "Sorry Wills. Go back to sleep."

   "Can't. There's this little voice telling me that Buffy's doing something she needs me for. It's annoying, 'cause it won't let me sleep."

   Buffy smiled slightly. "Just trying to figure out what that is," she said, pointing up at the ceiling. In the dim light from outside, she saw Willow prop herself up on one elbow.

   "The glow-dark thingie?" she asked groggily. "It's omega."

   Buffy frowned. "Omega?"

   "The last Greek letter? Something like twenty-third in the alphabet?" Willow yawned. "Pronounced like the A-W in saw."

   Buffy frowned again. "Thanks Will."

   "G'night, Buff."

   She continued staring at the letter until she blinked once too often and sleep took over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   Buffy circled slightly, glancing around the leafy green surrounding her.

   "Hello?" she tried.

   Willow came from out of the bushes, wearing a perky smile. Buffy felt a bolt of déjà vu go down her spine. "Willow," she tried.

   "Nine-one-one on speed dial," she said in animated voice matching her smile.

   Buffy nodded slowly, bemusedly, as Willow disappeared back into the bushes. She slowly started walking, the forest around her suddenly ending. Carefully she stepped over a slightly rotted log onto what looked like a grassy field. Two figures were quickly getting bigger in her line of vision, one chasing the other.

   The shorter of the two came into view first, the chase-ee of the two. She narrowed her eyes as she identified the man as the one threatening Mark earlier that day. The chaser was none other than Willow's cousin Mark, but was dressed in what she presumed to be his ring gear; a black unitard and long leather pants.

   The shorter one stopped just in front of her, and those curious eyes held hers again. She was dimly aware of Mark actually running into the man, but it had no effect on the brunette. Mark stood behind the black-haired man, but the man ignored him.

   Suddenly with a roar, Mark transformed into a red dragon-looking thing, her mind inexplicably going back to that snake-monster thing all those frat boys were praying to. The threaten-er quickly shoved her into the forest, and then pushed himself into the foliage. Both stood side-by-side as the dragon-snake-Mark rampaged for a while then suddenly shrank into something barely bigger than a mouse. She watched as the man next to her picked up the mini-version, it still giving out pathetic roaring squeaks as it was dropped into the man's pocket.

   Yet again, those eyes turned to her, and she stared.

   "We seem to keep running into one another, don't we?" he questioned.

   "That we do."

   "My name is Matt."

   "People call me Buffy." She studied him. The brief meeting was just that - brief - and she had no real chance to check out the man. Brown curls sat strewn over his shoulder, a tiny matching beard under his chin. Pretty handsome, she had to admit. Would be 'her type', if not for the whole threatening-maniac thing.

   "All people?"

   Buffy raised an eyebrow. "All people who don't want a black eye."

   He nodded slightly, a half-smile along with a tiny arching of a brow sending him to the realm of really handsome really fast. With all the quickness of a cat he leant over and whispered into her ear…

   "Can I call you Slayer?"…

   Buffy jerked up, a thin ray of sunshine spreading across her forehead.

   "How the hell does he know I'm a Slayer?"

   Matt opened his eyes, somehow not surprised that the other side of the bed was cold.

   "Oh, this is going to be fun…"