Hey guys it's Drigger with a new story. Well I'm not sure if this is all that funny, but I know it will be so I just put it under that category anyway. If I get feedback I will continue with Dranzer. Well, read it and tell me what you think! Thanks! O and I dont know if this will be yaoi yet but I will if you people want it.

DISCLAIMER: We don't own the characters and never will unless a miracle happens

I felt Isis curiously poking at my side as I was sleeping this morning.

"Brother?" She said in his ear poking me again.

"What?!" I bolted up out of the sheets I was entangled in.

"Um...well, you know money is a bit tight around here..." Isis started nervously. "Last week I could barely get all of our bills paid off and buy groceries."

"I know but you do the best you can sister," I replied lazily wanting to fall back into the bed. I was so damn tired.

"Malik, get a job. Today." She blunty finished.

"What? I can't do that!" I cried. NOOOO!! I'm too lazy to go get a job! Why can't we live off her paycheck? We have until now!

"Yes, you can," Isis threw the wanted ads in my face. "I looked through this already. I saw an ad for Kaibacorp. They want a personal assistant, and the deadline for applying is today at three. According to the ad, no one has applied yet but they're desperate."

"Aww, Kaibacorp? That asshole Seto Kaiba owns that place," I shook my head. Kaiba was the incarnation of EVIL. Isis couldn't possibly be serious. Well, she didn't know the horror that was- Seto Kaiba.

"He's in my class. He hates me and my friends and always calls us geeks and stuff. AND he always laughs at me when we get report cards because he gets straight A's and I ....don't."

"I'm sorry brother, but you are going to apply. We need the money."

"But Kaiba will never hire me!"

"He's desperate!" Isis said. "That's the beauty of it."

"...Okay, I'll go for it, but Kaiba would never hire me!" I crawled out of bed. I don't even know why I should even make an effort. I did it just to appease my sister.

"It's twelve. I expect you to be there by twelve thirty." Isis walked out of my room.

"Why does she have to be so damn bossy?" I murmured pulling on my trademark belly shirt. I know it was purple and people make fun of me, but you know what? I didn't really care. I like it. That's all that matters to me.

"Whatever you said, I heard it!" Isis' voice yelled down the hallway.

I made myself look somewhat presentable and walked out the door, trudging toward one of my most prized possessions - my beautiful, sweet motorcycle.

"I want proof you were there!" Isis shouted out the doorway.

"Fine whatever," I strapped on my helmet - safety is a must, remember that kids- and hopped on my motorcycle. I revved it up, smiling at the sweet hum of my baby.

I had never actually been inside Kaibacorp, but everyone knew where it was. It was the biggest building in the city, about a gazzillion stories tall.

I parked my bike on the curb outside of the building and walked in the front office.

"Hello." I said to the lady at the desk.

"May I help you?" She replied.

"Um...I'm here for the assistant thing."

"...Oh, okay. Let me inform Mr. Kaiba. Please take a seat for a moment," she pointed at a row of cushioned chairs against the wall opposite of her desk.

I took a seat and sat quietly. This is gonna be so embarrassing. The faster I get it over with, the faster I can get out and back into my sweet comfy bed.

"Okay," the secretary stood up. "Let me lead you to Mr. Kaiba's office."

"Aw, man am I gonna be Kaiba's assistant?" I asked. I had at least hoped that I would be assisting one of his employees or associates or something. Instead of the Great Ass himself.

"Yes, sir, you read the ad, right?"

"..."

The woman opened the door and led me into a room that had Seto sitting in a fancy chair behind a desk, with his usual smug expression that made me want to slug him.

"Hmmph," I heard the distaste in Kaiba's voice as soon as he saw me.

"Mr. Kaiba? We have someone who responded to your ad, sir!"

"Goody," Kaiba replied sarcastically, looking at me, which made me feel uncomfortable.

"Thank you. You can leave." Seto said, eyes still on me. "So...Malik, right?"

"Yeah! Wow you remembered my name!" I knew I looked shocked. I didn't expect the Great Seto Kaiba to remember the name of a peon like myself.

"Well, it's not on the top of my list of things to do," Kaiba replied coldly.

"Right...so...what about the job?" I asked, trying to get to the point.

"Wow .. I'm surprised the geek brigade allowed you to come here all by yourself," Seto's voice was still cold. "Usually you travel in a pack like one big happy family."

"Very funny." I narrowed his eyes. Did he say that just to try to get me started?

"Seeing as how you're the only one who responded to my ad..."

"...Probably because everyone knows what an ass you are..." I interrupted.

"...We will have a trial session. Let's go at it for a week ... and if you don't annoy me to the brink of insanity ... the job is yours." Seto finished, ignoring my comment. Damn it! I wanted him to say something.

"Okay," I nodded. That wasn't too difficult.

"How about we start now?" Seto smiled evilly.

"..Okay." I answered without thinking. I took a step back.

"Hmm?" Seto leaned forward in his chair.

"What?" I asked. I looked down in front of my feet, where the ass was looking, and saw a brown spot on the stark white carpet in the room.

"Whoops.." I looked at the bottom of my shoe and spotted a brown crud on it. "I must've stepped in dog shit somewhere."

Kaiba looked at me like he had ten heads. "Well?!"

"Well, what?" I asked innocently. What the hell did he want me to do? Beg for forgiveness?

"Clean it up!" Seto screeched, his cold voice rising in tone.

"Okay," I took my other foot and started rubbing the brown spot in furiously.

"NO!" Seto screamed.

"What, sir?" I shrugged. "That's the way we do it at my house." Well, until Isis sees me and starts yelling at me like a chicken with her head cut off.

"You idiot, you're just rubbing it in the carpet!"

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to so?" I asked.

"Geez!" Seto pushed a button on a panel in his desk. "Bring my assistant some cleaning spray and a rag. Now." He looked at me. "You. Take off your shoe." I took off my shoe and laid it on Kaiba's desk, just to see what he would do.

"EWW GET THAT THING OFF OF MY DESK!" Kaiba yelled. Well, I got him back for that geek remark earlier.

A few moments later, another woman came in with a rag and a spray bottle, and handed them to me, who cautiously accepted them. The woman left.

I stood for a second, studying the bottle intently. I really didn't want to clean.

"Okay," Kaiba said like he was speaking to a young child. "You take the bottle, push the little handle under the nozzle in, and it will magically spray some cleaner!"

"Shut up," I glared at him. Well, I know Isis would really kick my ass if I got myself fired on purpose and she happened to call Kaiba to inquire about it. I know he would milk it for all it's worth, because he hates me and my friends.

"Get on your knees," Kaiba said, laughing hysterically now.

I slowly got on my knees and sprayed the cleaner on the soiled spot and started scrubbing at it with the rag.

"So, Malik, tell me what it's like to live in a permanent state of stupidity?" Kaiba asked, resting his head in his hands. (A/N: Ahh modeled after the comment the great Hiei said to Kuwabara in YYH)

I looked up and scowled at Kaiba. If he made one more comment about my intelligence, I was gonna kick his ass.

"So what's it like to live in a permanent state of asshole?" I snottily retorted.

"Ah, Malik your petty little comebacks don't have nearly as much effect on me as mine do to you," Kaiba replied, laughter in his voice.

"Damn it Ra, please let lightning strike me now," I mumbled, still scrubbing.

"Let's see...after you're done, get me some coffee," Seto said thoughtfully, shuffling some papers.

"Yes, sir," I said mockingly. If he was gonna be a total ass, I am an expert at playing that game... hehe I had alot of practice on Joey Wheeler.

"Hey, don't get mad at me. It was your dumbass that tracked dog doo in." Seto lightly replied.

"Whew," I stood up, done with the doo doo stain.

"You missed a spot," Kaiba pointed at a tiny speck on the carpet.

I rolled my eyes and picked up the little piece of lint and threw it in Kaiba's metal trashcan.

"Good. Now go get me my coffee. Now."

"What kind do you like?" I asked sweetly.

"Black with just a hint of raspberry."

"..Fine." I walked out the door, realized I didn't know where to get it, and walked back in to Kaiba's office.

"Where can I get it?" I asked, knowing I would get a smartass answer.

"Oh. It's in the room that says "Beverages." Kaiba replied still talking like he was addressing a two-year old. "Oh, that's right you probably need it spelled out for you. B E V E R-"

"I know how to spell Kaiba," I nastily cut in. I swear by Ra, he was annoying the shit out of me. But hey, it's a job. You're supposed to hate your employer, right?

"Oooh getting angry, are we? I just assumed someone of your intelligence didn't have the capacity to remember words longer than four letters. I'm sorry."

Must..resist....must...resist..I told myself. That's it, if I happened to not get fired today I'm gonna bring my millennium rod tomorrow to make my life hell of alot easier.

Well...what do you think?