- Stirring Earth -

.~.

Warnings: A touch of angst, slight shonen-ai, and a kiss (An accidental one at that, don't get your hopes up *too* high! More of that stuff in later chapters! Er, next chapter... yeah... If Felix lets me... ^^;;)

[Felix] And of course I won't!

....Which means "Good Lord YES!" in Felix-lingo. ^___^

[Felix] . . . .

.~.

Chapter three: Stranger Amongst the Earth

- The process of denial and mistakes that are meant to be made -

.~.

No. I do not like him. *I do **not** like him.* That's just wrong. It's bad. Why can't I like women? ....Dammit! I'm falling steadily in love with a guy! Particularly, my housemate! Er, roommate, something like that! A guy I enjoy calling a cow! This isn't right... Oh gods... Why...

.~.

Felix curled up tighter in a ball, sniffling softly. He should've just married Sheba when he had the chance, but no... He let Ivan have her. Those two belonged together, anyhow... He'd only get in the way. But how the hell did Sheba fit into this? ...She didn't. That was the thing... He had his heart set on someone else...

"Feeelix!" Came Picard's cheery voice from down the hallway.

"Go away." He grumbled, the pillow muffling his voice.

"Oh, come on, Felix!"

"I don't feel good."

A slight pause.

"Let me see!"

"No!"

"I'm a healer, Felix!"

"You can't -- arugh! Fine! Come in!"

"Does being sick make you as cranky as Jenna on one of her bad days?"

"Apparently so." Felix said, fidgeting slightly as the blankets grew too warm. Picard snatched the pillow away from his head, holding it away from him when he tried to reach for it. "My gods, look at your hair!"

"What about my hair?"

"It standing up, Felix."

"...Oh. But doesn't it do that normally?"

"Half a foot?"

"Err..."

"Now what about this illness you have?"

Felix pillowed his head on his arms, sighing.

.~.

You could heal all of my physical injuries, Picard -- bruises, cuts, cracks in the skull due to Jenna's frying pan, internal bleeding -- but you can't heal actual inner wounds, now can you? You can't mend a broken heart, or a heart twisted and messed up...

.~.

"I... I don't know."

"You don't know?

"I have no idea what my illness is... exactly..." What a lie, Felix...

"You... You don't?"

"Picard, I just said that!"

"Sorry." Picard frowned. "I'm just. . . .err... well... It bothers me to know that you might have some fatal illness I could cure if you just hadn't misplaced the name."

Felix grimaced, turning away from him and feeling rather foolish of himself. Picard didn't need to worry that he was acting odd all of a sudden... And although he had heard of some stories that a fair maiden died of heartbreak (Because her fluke-of-a-swordsman-lover wasn't *supposed* to be out on the battlefield at all)... since when the hell was he a 'fair maiden?' (Of course, his sister would immediately say he looked like one enough to pass for one, with enough stuffing down the front of the shirt.)

Picard shifted uneasily next to him, and Felix remembered that he was there. He lifted his head a bit to stare at him better.

"Could you just... give me some time to myself?"

"Are you sure it's not life-threatening?"

Felix had to smile, however grimly it was.

"You worry too much."

Picard was about to protest, but Felix shoved him off the bed with his feet. With an undignified whump and a soft stream of curses, Picard stood back up to scowl at him briefly, before striding away.

.~.

Picard... I'm sorry, but I have no idea how you'll take something like that, and if I'm lucky, I'll fine some girl to marry before I... yeah... Oh, who am I kidding? Who could I marry now? A tree? I'd have better luck with a shrub than a woman! ....I need to stop criticizing myself... But really, what can you say to your housemate -- err, something like that -- when you might be falling into a pit of despair because you might love them? Oh, sure, Picard, you can heal that. Heal my heart. And, oh gods, I'm sounding like a poet...

.~.

Felix tossed his head around, as though in a feverish daze. He was trying to rid himself of those irritating thoughts, but at the moment, nothing was being dumped out. He was afraid of being shunned by the rest of Vale, his friends, his parents, his sister... People who happened to have a romantic liking to those of same gender were not generally accepted in Vale. He knew everytime Garet said a snide joke referring to that topic, all bustling activity in the kitchen would stop a moment. Sadly enough, most of the time, Garet was referring to him. And it only helped to raise the suspicions of Garet's parents, as well as Isaac's. Why couldn' they stay out of his hair?

There was a soft pit-pat. For a moment, he thought it was his Djinn, but when it gradually became louder, unless Echo was leading an army of Djinn, it was rain. Great, something else to effectively dampen his already sour mood. There was a squeak, and -- speak of the devil, a little brown Djinni sat on his stomach.

"What do you want?" He asked it grumpily. It trod up his stomach, hopped onto his chin, and when he shifted, it walked across his cheek to his ear. ....Not good.

/FELIX!/

"Shut up!" He said, trying to flick it off, but the Djinn stood, er, sat, as though rooted to his earlobe.

/Stop being so depressed-like! None of your Djinn like it, your "sad"-aura is radiating off of you and you don't know it, so you can't clear it up! If it's bothering you so much, go down there and jump Picard, or something! (You know *they'll* like it, at the very least!) AND YOU LISTEN HERE, BOY! I don' wanna be here either, and you don' want me here 'ither, but I got elected, and I'll get a square slap in the rump if I don't give you a pep talk! (Djinn rantings! ^_^)/

"That's a disturbing thought," Felix said dryly, and the Djinni leaped up and down indignantly.

/You! LISTEN! I know you're mad at yourself -- you didn't marry one of those little prissies when you had the chance! You're mad at Isaac and Garet, and obviously Ivan, who you have a natural dislike for -- because they're making snide comments about you! You don't like it, even if they are just kidding! SO POUND THEIR FACES IN, BOY! And most of all, you're mad at Picard, because he HAS YOUR HEART! And I know that sounds cheesy, stop yer snorking!/ It stomped madly before continuing, disgruntled. /And you can't get your thoughts straight -- you're worried that Isaac and all will hate you, because you love Picard, you're worried Jenna will hate you, and try and get rid of you as a sibling, you're worried your parents will hate you, you're worried that Vale will hate you! But think! If it weren't for ya -- they wouldn't be here to try and kill ya!/

"Oh, aren't you uplifting." Felix sighed. The Djinni bounced again.

/And you and Isaac, Garet, you're childhood friends! Jenna's your sis, she isn't gonna disown you any time soon, boy! BOY! Your parents love ya. Their love is the greatest gift of all, some say./ The Djinni's voice weakened slightly. Felix raised an eyebrow. /But that's not the point! You gotta express your feelings! EXPRESS, boy! E-X-P-R-E-S-S!/

"Great, I have a spelling-bee-slash-Djinni."

/SHADDUP! It's my job, and don' give me that look! So you go down there, tell Picard -- and you give him a damn good kiss, too, or I'll personally smack ya hard -- tell Isaac and your pals, your sis, your parents, when you think the time's right. You got it? Tell me you got it, I need some water./

Felix blinked again. Veerrry slowly.

"Umm....?"

The Djinni sighed, or at least it appeared to.

/I think you're just naturally hopeless... Anyhow, gotta skit, and kiss him like there's no tomorrow! 'Cause there might not be! Yeah!/ And it disappeared with a little poof of brown smoke. Felix groaned.

"I didn't need a Djinni-pep talk, thanks."

/Too late, huh, boy?/ A little smug voice said in the corner of his mind. He scowled.

"Idiot." He sighed, sitting up. That Djinni had one mean additude... Probably Geode, that one always had a few... issues...

/HEY!/

"Go away," He said, trying to flatten his hair a few inches. He just wasn't about to jump Picard you know, but he'd... err... try... He meant, er, not *jumping* him, more like. . . . . Ah, screw it.

He sat on his bed a moment, gathering his wits and his courage to go down and face Picard after that 'pep talk' Geode (He thought it was Geode) had given him. With a snort of resignation (And an idea to possibly murder those Djinn later), he got up, gathered a blanket around him -- as it was still drafty in the house -- and stalked downstairs.

Since Picard was busying himself in the kitchen, he chose to sit nearby the window, his hair loose and, unfortunately, still sticking up a *bit* more than normal. The rain was a drizzle outside, beating a slow, steady metronome-rhythm, the clouds dark and stormy looking, promising heavier rain later that night. Amazing, the weather completely conveyed his own emotions...

"Here," Picard said softly, handing him a mug. He glanced inside -- hot chocolate.

The Lemurian sat down opposite him, sipping a cup of his own. In the dim light of the house and the clouds, he looked rather mysterious. Mysterious, and... -- oh, come off it, you old mind! You know he is -- rather handsome. His hair nearly sparkled in the dim light...

.~.

Oh, oh, oh! Bad Felix!

.~.

"Felix?" Picard said tentiavely, curling his fingers around the mug to keep them warm. "What are you thinking?"

"I, oh..." He closed his eyes a moment, feeling a rush of nausea hit him. There was a shifting sound, and Picard was next to him, a hand warmed by the liquid of the mug on Felix's cheek. He wanted so badly to melt into that light touch... He snapped out of it. "Picard, give me some room!"

"Sorry." The Lemurian said sheepishly, sitting back down. Felix didn't know whether that was a blush or not on his face, the dim lighting not only made him ranther desirable, it also shadowed most of his face. He sighed.

"I... Um..." How could he say this? Something like that? Something as TRAUMATIZING as that?

.~.

It's not supposed to be traumatizing... Oh, but I can't... I can't love him... of all people... Garet will hate me, try and hurt me... Isaac... I don't know... Mia will cry, doubtlessly... I don't want to raise such a ruckus over who I love! I just wanted to -- to marry, settle down, have a child or two with my *wife,* like Isaac has... But Fate always had other plans for me, doesn't it? Damn... Why, Picard? Why do you have such an odd affect on me? I can't love you. I can't. So I won't...

.~.

Felix already felt his resolve crumbling as Picard glanced at him. He looked away, wanting to back upstairs, jump under the covers, and stay there for the rest of eternity, even though Picard probably wouldn't have it. Curse that stupid Djinni...

.~.

I... Oh, this is terrible. I want to touch him so badly, but then, it'll all go down the drain... I won't have anywhere to go then. But, there has to be someplace -- no... Everyone has to believe in the theory that a man and a woman are always destined to be, never two men, never two women. But there has to be someone who understands... Nobody here in Vale understands, Garet's always been a womanizer, Isaac's always liked Mia, and Ivan -- if he didn't have time for women, he'd go straight to the books. And let's not even go to Kraden. Alex...

...I thought I liked Alex before... Once... But I always had the thought something between him and Saturos (Or Menardi, all three of them were rather suspicious characters) was going on... So maybe Alex would understand. Yet I. . . .

.~.

Felix stood suddenly. Picard appeared to start.

"What are you -- "

"I'm going to visit Alex." He said in a no-nonsense sort of voice, meaning Picard didn't have a single say in this matter. "...I need to ask him something personal."

"Something personal you can't share with me?" Picard jutted in. Felix froze. Damn him!

"No. I'm sorry.... But you wouldn't understand..."

"I wouldn't understand what?"

Felix glared at him, going upstairs to retrieve his cloak and scarf. Picard stilled, looking rather miffed however.

As he stepped out into the rain, knowing fully well Picard was glaring at him from the window (He could see a curtain move out of the corner of his eye, and that blue *was* rather hard to miss), he set off for Kraden's house, where, amazingly enough, Alex was still housed. (Once again, he felt a pang of pity for Alex.)

.~.

Ohh, so the jerk thinks he can nose around in my business whenever he likes? Well, I, I.... Damn it..... This might not work! Or it might... Keep your spirits up... He might know something, but since when did Alex ever know anything *useful?* Oh, I just know the gods are laughing up in God- Haven or gods know where they live at.... At me... Stupid stupid stupid...

.~.

Much too quickly enough for him, Felix found the worn wood of Kraden's cottage door in front of him. Closing the umbrella with a sigh, he knocked on the door, knowing Alex was likely to answer, as Kraden was getting along in his years and couldn't use his ears nearly as often as he could had.

"Ye -- oh, hello, Felix." Alex said, blinking demurely up at him, and some eerie reason told Felix that Alex was mentally undressing him. Brushing away the stray thought -- it'd be better if it was Picard, he thought to himself crossly, then mentally slapped himself for that -- he slipped past Alex into the warm room. Kraden was lounging on an old chair in front of the blazing fire.

"Hello, Kraden." Felix said loudly. Kraden looked over to him and gave a half-hearted wave. "What's wrong with him now?" He asked Alex.

"He's miffed that I called him deaf earlier today, but you know it's only true... That, and I circled his next birthday on the calendar in red and green ink."

Felix blinked.

"Alex, I think you're inhuman sometimes..." He sighed, moving toward the stairs to Alex's room, which had been built with the help of the other Valeans.

"Hmph," was his reply.

.~.

Alex is giving me the creeps.... Staring at me..... Gods, why didn't I stay home? (With Picard.) Dammit! I hate this... If he -- alright, I'm going to kick him...

.~.

Felix managed to restrain himself as Alex stared at him again, his blue eyes unblinking. Yep, Alex had changed. Living with Kraden for three or so years really can damage the soul....

"Alex... I, er, came... to.. ah...."

"Discuss something with me that's fairly personal, yes?" He blinked slowly. Felix gulped, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck rise.

"How do you -- "

"Living with Kraden... you know." He said dismissively. This. . . oh, never mind.

"I'm in love... with a guy." He said, his voice ashamed. He stared at the spotless floor as Alex stared at him.

"Oh?" Alex was curious -- very curious... "With whom?"

"Um... Can I leave that private for now?"

Alex nodded slowly. Felix resisted the urge to scream for mercy.

"And I've been thinking... You... You... *understand,* don't you?" Felix said desperately, clenching and unclenching his fists unconsciously. "And stop staring at me!"

Alex ignored his last demand and gazed at him thoughtfully, as though contemplating the pros and cons of telling him the answer.

"Yes... Yes, I do, as a matter of fact."

He let out a sigh of relief. Alex's eyes narrowed slightly.

"But I am not going to tell you exactly who..."

"That's fine," Felix said quickly. Making Alex fall into one of his silent moods now was not at the top of his to-do list.

"And you are trying to deny this love, aren't you?"

Why was it Felix was beginning to get the idea that Alex was becoming his personal psychiatrist?

"Yes... I'm not sure how everyone else will take it... And, I, well, I want to stay on their good side."

Alex sighed, which was odd, considering he never sighed around anyone else except for possibly in exasperation with Kraden.

"You need to ignore that," Alex said fervently, leaning forward slightly. Felix raised an eyebrow. He *was* becoming a personal psychiatrist.

"And why's that? I can... I can... er..." He fumbled for a good word, but nothing popped up, and he scowled darkly for a moment.

"You can deny yourself of love? That's pathetic for even you, Felix."

Felix lunged to smack him over the head, but Alex caught his fist calmly enough and placed it down, his eyes narrowing even further.

"I'm sorry," He hastily apologized. "It's just that... I'm used to only getting remarks like that around either Picard or Garet..."

Alex's brain was doing a quick calculation. Meaning: Garet = married. Garet = straight. Garet comments = Felix hits. Picard = unmarried. Picard = ??? Picard comments = ??? And those question marks were not a good sign for our Mercury adept, now were they? But he did not tell Felix of this calculation, or the fact he had just figured out poor Felix was in love with the Lemurian.

"You do not deny yourself of love, Felix. I did that once... But I was such a fool then." Alex said sternly, his voice tapering off slowly. "If you do love him... And are willing to put aside those stupid fears of yours" -- he ignored the glare given to him -- "you won't regret doing so."

.~.

Alex is really scaring me...

.~.

Felix thought for a moment... If was Alex said was true -- and that was likely -- then... Well, was he willing to put it all on the line for just a romance that could end up making him wish he had ignored Picard from the start? As he could see it, the numbers weren't coming out so good...

...But then again, since when did he care about math?

"Thanks, Alex."

"You're welcome, Felix." Alex murmured. "Good luck."

Felix nodded to him and headed downstairs, said good-bye (loudly) to Kraden, and set off on his way back home, his spirits uplifted slightly with Alex's talk. Only then did he realize he had gotten another pep talk of sorts.

As he drew near to him home, closing the umbrella, he saw the curtains shift again, and the door opened, revealed a still-very-miffed-looking Picard. He gave him an apologetic smile, but, klutzy as always, he tripped over the doorstep, landing on Picard's chest. Ah, but...

...their lips met as well, for a brief, chaste kiss. Picard, being rather shocked by this, took a large step back, making Felix drop to the floor with a thud. (I'm feeling rather nasty to Felix today, he threw a pot at me... -__-;) Felix lay there, dazed, a moment, more by the kiss than the heavy fall he had just taken. Picard didn't have any hellish idea as of what to do. So it was only seemed perfect timing then that Jenna came in through the still-open door, demanding from Picard the reason why her brother was sprawled out unelegantly on the floor and he wasn't doing anything to help.

Ohohohoho, the love of sisters....

.~.

End III

.~.

XD Ha!

[Felix] *Grumbles*

Booyah! Anyhow, enough of my victory dancing:

**Taylor**: Well, you always knew I was weird... Kinda shocked to learn I liked yaoi, eh? Hey, you learn something new every day. My bird likes strawberries! Didn't know that yesterday, right? Right!

[Felix] *Shakes his head*

**Dragoness**: Hee.... Yeah, you like it, Felix! I KNOW YOU DO!

[Felix] Why don't you ask Picard too?

Oh, I would, but Vilya currently owns him... or somebody else, I have no real idea. 0o;; Doesn't matter, you're MY muse!

[Felix] I'm the substitute muse!

Whatever, you're still a MUSE. ^_^

**Killing Perfection**: Meh? Oh, well, working on it! I got seven chapters in total... Two chapters done, three in the works... So, yeah, that's why I'm updating so quickly. Hn...

**Shadow**: Since when could anyone say '...!'? I thought that was Isaac... No, Isaac and Felix only said either '....' or '!!!' or something along those lines... Ha, Felix, said 'Why?' during that challenge with Moapa or something! ^_^ Loved that, oh, and the end... Kawaii ending, but I'm getting off topic. It says shonen-ai TO YAOI! ...Oh, er, the R-thing? ^_^;;; ::Sweats:: Umm...

[Felix] What've you been doing?!!

Nothing... Oh, and, er, Taku, Luana was looking for you. ^_^;; She had a mace the last time I saw her...

[Felix] That woman's a sadomasochist...

Oh, really? Why, Stephanie...

[Felix] Hold that thought for a preferrably long time. 0o

**Taidigimon** To your review for the Matchmaker - I'm thinking Mercury adepts can sense that sort of thing. I've read in Kadevi chan's story, Embrace the Stars (Wonderfulous fic!) that Mia could prevent pregnancies... Whether this is actual fact or not, I'm not sure, but Mia seems smart enough to know when she's pregnant, even a few days afterwards. And for this review - I've read it somewhere... Umm... Don't remember where. But as they say, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. ^_^;; I remember signing a petition against the release of some show called Corpus Christi, where they had Jesus as a homosexual. I've heard recently that it's out, however, in like Russia, but... err...

[Felix] *Shudders*

It's better with Felix and Picard, ne? ^^;

[Felix] *Growls*

Don't make me throw another globe at you.

[Felix] Why a globe?

It was the only thing I could reach for at the moment that wasn't excessively heavy....

[Felix] ............

Har.

**Piro Flare**: Um, yay? ^_^

**Akiko**: Yeah, my world views change daily... It took a while for me to balance out the pros and cons of writing a yaoi fic... But then I thought, who the hell cares? So, yeah.

**Reyan**: Oho!

[Felix] ....?

"Saying" something like that is virtually impossible, Felix...

[Felix] How did you know I said it, then, hm?

I have my ways. Anyway... We'll see, ne? In my other ficlet, it's a whole PicardxFelixxIsaac fiasco-triangle, but I think I need to revise it some more...

[Felix] Oh, why? Because I'm acting like a total slut in that one? You kill Mia off? Isaac has lovebites?!!

Felix, shaddup. You act like a slut all the time, you're so hellishly annoying. I don't really like Mia. And it only makes sense that Isaac has lovebites. ^o^

[Felix] *Hisses*

Rrrright... You know you like the attention.

-some things happen on account of mistakes-

[Felix] That's for sure!

::Throws a dictionary at him::

[Felix] Ow! x_x