Later Friday, Back at my apartment
What is wrong with me? Why do I always doubt myself, doubt that things will happen for the better? Why couldn't I just tell him that I still loved him? Why must I always run into the damn bathroom?!
I guess I still haven't self-actualized.
What would have happened if I told him though? Would things have been better or worse? Would he feel the same way, or would he have moved on?
He probably would have moved on, because, unlike me, he has self actualized.
I'm never going to find out if I don't tell him.
I can be such an idiot sometimes. I run away, because its easier than staying in an awkward situation.
And that was an awkward situation.
A very awkward situation.
What did Lilly expect me to do? She knew I would never tell him. She knew I would run away. I talked to her just now.
Lilly: Hello?
Me: Lilly?
Lilly: Mia! How was the date?
What a stupid question.
Me: You know exactly how the date went. Horribly.
Lilly: I was only trying to help...
Yeah, right.
Me: Well, you only embarrassed me.
Lilly: You can at least tell me what happened...
She knew perfectly well what happened!
Me: I ran into the bathroom, what else did you expect me to do?
Lilly: You could have told him how you felt.
Me: You know I can't do that.
Lilly: Why not?! What's so wrong with telling him?!
Me: Because I'm afraid he's moved on! What if he hates me?!
And I am. That's the problem. I'm afraid he's moved on. Why wouldn't he hate me after all I've done to him?
Lilly: I told you over and over again he doesn't hate you! Why don't you believe me? He's crazy about you!
Wow. Was she telling the truth? No, no. It's not possible. It's just not possible.
Me: I have to go.
I didn't have to go anywhere. There I go again, lying.
Lilly: Fine. Bye.
Me: Bye...
-Beep-
Notes to Self:
-Stop Lying.
-Achieve self-actualization.
-Find out if Lilly knows about my flaring nostrils.
-Buy cat food.
-Buy food. Chocolate in particular.
-Convince Grandmere that it is perfectly normal not to eat meat.
-Get over Michael.
Saturday, my parent's couch (I feel so loved)
Have you ever noticed how much my love life sucks?
The love of my life is repulsed by me, and I'm not exactly sure why? What, is she afraid of me? What did I do? I must have done something!
Maybe she still has feelings for me...
But then why would she run away?
But then again, Mia has done some pretty unexplainable things. I have resorted to completely ignoring Lilly, but she doesn't seem to care anyway.
I did talk to Billy. He called me.
Me: Hello?
Billy: Mikey!
Oh God. Why does he call me Mikey? I makes me sound like a five year old.
Me: Please, don't call me Mikey, Billy, I-
Billy: I heard you went on a blind date...
Me: How?
Billy: I have my ways....how did it go? Was she hot? Hot enough to help you get over Mia?
Me: Extremely hot, but she only made me love Mia more.
I love to torture him.
Billy: What? How?
Me: She was Mia.
Billy: What the-?
Me: She ran into the bathroom.
Billy: Again?!
Me: Yes.
Billy: Why?
Me: Ask her.
Billy: Maybe she hates you.
Me: Great! That makes me feel so much better.
Billy: All the more reason to get over her.
Me: You just don't understand do you? I have to go eat... Bye.
Billy: All right, bye.
-Beep-
Saturday, NYU
I was just sitting very innocently on the couch, at 6 A.M., because I have class at 7, when Lilly called me.
Me: Hello?
Lilly: Mia?
Me: Lilly? It's 6 A.M., you're lucky I'm awake. Why are you calling me.
Lilly: I have something important to tell you.
Me: At 6 A.M.?
Lilly: Shut up about it being 6 A.M. and listen to me!
She should have known not to call me at 6 A.M.! I'm not even fully awake at 6 A.M.! I just sit around and watch TV until I gather the energy to walk to the kitchen and eat! Only under extreme circumstances call me that early in the morning. Of course, these were extreme circumstances, so she has an excuse.
Me: I'm listenin'...
Lilly: I'm engaged.
I can't believe it.
I just cannot believe it.
Lilly, Miss-I-don't-need-a-man is getting married.
Married.
Lilly.
She must really love Boris, because I just can't see Lilly getting married.
But, apparently, I will.
Me: You're what?
Stupid question, I know.
Lilly: Getting married.
Me: Whoa.
Lilly: What?
Me: I just never expected this.
Lilly: Well, it's true.
Me: When did he ask you?
Lilly: On our date, a couple of minutes ago.
Me: Minutes? He proposed to you at 6 A.M. in the morning, and you said yes?
Lilly: Morning is my favorite time of day. I think it was sweet of Boris.
Me: Okay, Lil, whatever you say.
Lilly: Don't call me Lil. And I don't appreciate your sarcasm.
Me: Sorry.
How pathetic. I really need to be more assertive.
Me: When's the wedding?
Lilly: I don't know... I haven't had time to think about it. Meet me for lunch, all right? At the Stardust Diner?
Me: Where the waiters sing?
Lilly: Yes.
Me: In Times Square?
Lilly: Yes!
I find that shocking. Lilly hates that restaurant. She finds the constant singing and the fifties look utterly annoying. Why must she confuse me this early in the morning?
Me: Okay...
Then she hung up.
A/N:
Poof!
Done!
...or at least with that chapter.
More to come.
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