Chapter Eleven
His Sickness
She heard him scream her name.
She ran for the door, but Alanna and George held her back, "Neal!" she yelled and threw herself away from the door as Raoul caught hold of her shoulder.
"There's nothing you can do," he told her gently.
"This whole time you knew what we were facing," her eyes spun on Alanna, anger was pumping freely through her veins. She cared nothing for controlling it, "But you played if off, pretended not to know! 'Well, there must be a strong Mage with them,'" she mocked. "But all the while you knew precisely who and just what he was capable of. And you sent Neal out there with him! Look at him now!"
Alanna stayed quiet a long time, trying to contain her own anger and trying to bypass the guilt. "Kel, Neal was a Mage and a Knight. Master Numair assigned him because of his magical ability. He knew what he was facing as well; he wanted to be there, to protect you."
"To protect me?" Kel slumped against the wall; her anger was quickly vanquished by Alanna's calm response. "But who was ever there to protect him? There was no one ever there to bear this burden with him. He lost Yuki and stayed silent, he protected me and stayed silent, he got beaten by Coriolis and stayed silent. He…never was one to endure anything in silence."
"Never anything serious," Dom told her softly. He looked out toward the practice yards and gained a faraway expression. "I remember once, when we were young, I was out in the yard, messing with one of the dogs, rough housing. Neal tried to get in the middle because he thought I was getting attacked. He jumped in the middle, and the dog got spooked, thought Neal was endangering one of us, and he attacked Neal. He jumped on him and mauled him so bad. His father healed him up, but it was pretty bad. We were deathly worried for a few days. He never once complained or shed a tear. He just smiled and said he was glad that I was okay."
They looked toward the door and prayed for Neal's safety.
*
Numair found the thread that contained the spell, and with gentle fingers made of magic he ripped it up and out of Neal. Neal screamed in anguish and tried to fight, but Duke Baird held him down. Numair ripped it out and looked at it for a moment before it vanished. He collapsed to the ground and gave Duke Baird the signal to start the Healing. He looked at Neal and saw him growing ever paler. He wasn't sure there was anything Duke Baird could do.
*
The next twelve hours were the longest Kel had ever suffered through. They were longer than her Ordeal; they were more real than her search for Lalasa. She sat against the wall, never moving, barely breathing. Sleep wasn't an option; food wasn't something she could stomach. She sat on the ground and felt the hours wear on, every minute was like an eternity, until she heard a gentle, 'click,' and her eyes snapped toward the door.
She jumped up, renewed with energy, but her face was almost as drawn and pale as Numair's. He stumbled from the room and into Daine's outstretched arms. Daine shook her head and wiped the sweat from his brow. He wrapped his arms around her, and she stayed close, "You're shaking terribly," she mumbled.
He opened his eyes, as if he was remembering something dreadful, "The things that that boy has seen in the last few days…"
"What? What was it Numair?" Alanna questioned, and he shook his head.
"I will never repeat the things I saw in his head. Coriolis could have designed the Chamber of Ordeals, except that I think no Knight would ever make it out," he pulled away from Daine and turned to face them. "Duke Baird is nearly finished. Then you may see him, but…" he looked at them all, but let his eyes linger on Kel. "Do not expect to see the friend you knew. Do not expect him to wake or…" he shook his head.
"Live," Kel mumbled, and Numair's eyes filled with pity.
In the next few moments not a word was uttered, until Duke Baird walked from the room, looking as drained as Numair. "Kel," he mumbled, and Kel walked over to him, looking in his eyes that reflected Neal's so greatly. "You may go in."
She smiled weakly and thanked him, slowly approaching the door. She put her hand on the handle, but wasn't sure she was going to be able to open it. She didn't want to remember Neal sick in bed, dying of a fever that she had caused by exposing him to that monster. She didn't want to face that; she wanted to remember him, strong and beautiful. She wanted to remember him as her best friend, not of him dying in a bed at such a young age.
"Kel," Dom nudged her gently, and she took a deep breath and entered.
The room was a deep gray; dawn was just now approaching. She closed her eyes and walked to his side, as Alanna came in and started a fire with her magic. The sparks flashed purple, but lit up the room and made warmth for him.
She sat down in a chair by his side and took his hand; it was cold, just like in her dream…she laid her head in her hands and felt his cool, pale hand against her forehead. Tears fell from her eyes and onto his hand, running down his arm. She cried harder than she had ever cried before, and the people in the room just watched silently, awed by the scene. She had never loved anyone like she loved Neal, and she couldn't imagine ever loving anyone more. He had been through everything with her since she was eleven years old. How could she deal with losing him? She knew that she would never be the same if she lost him. She wasn't even sure she would be able to live without him.
She looked up to the heavens and begged the Goddess, 'Please, I will devote my life to anything you choose if you just save him. I will do anything you want; I don't care the cost, just…don't let him die…'
Alanna put a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to her and nodded. "Kel, I want you to go to the kitchen and eat. Then, I want you to sleep at least four hours, then, and only then may you come back here."
"No," Kel said firmly. "I won't leave him."
"He's not going anywhere Kel, and he won't be waking for quite some time, come on, we'll go with you," Raoul grabbed Dom and forced everyone from the room, giving Alanna some time alone with her former Squire.
*
She stared at her ceiling, waiting for sleep to come. She knew she was exhausted; she had to be. She had barely slept in the last three days. So why then couldn't she sleep? The sooner she slept, the sooner she could get back to Neal. Her mind said sleep, her heart said sleep and her body should have been saying sleep, but it was rejecting it. She screamed and got up, pacing the room. She knew Alanna would know if she left the room, so she chose to stay within it. She pulled her practice glaive from its place on the wall and did some simple exercises. Unfortunately, her body was weak with exhaustion, and she fumbled and lost concentration quickly.
Soon, she was forced to replace the glaive and resume pacing. She walked around the room five more times before she heard a knock on the door and ran to answer it. She smiled warmly at the face of her former maid, Lalasa, and let her in.
"Milady, I heard about Sir Nealan and came straight away," her brown eyes were troubled. "How-how are you holding up, since I saw the Lady Alanna and know Sir Nealan's condition."
"I…" how could she express what she felt? How could she tell Lalasa about the most intense pain she'd ever experienced? How could she say in a sentence what it felt like to possibly lose her best friend-no, the love of her life? She had no way of telling Lalasa about the waiting and the idleness, the despair and anguish. She had no way to express her disgust at her own uselessness, her anger at herself for not being able to prevent this. So she put on a Yamani mask, a weak one, and tried a smile that wasn't as convincing as her usual ones, "Fine."
*
"Kel," Neal whispered, the fever not letting up, though the visions were gone. At least he had that peace. "I'm sorry I-I didn't t-tell you…"
Alanna shook her head and wiped his forehead with a cool washcloth, "He's been muttering all day," she told George without looking to see if it was truly him.
"Perhaps it's time we send for her?" he suggested.
"No, let her sleep, we'll call if something happens, if he…if he…" she couldn't think about it, let alone say it. Saying it would only make it more real than it already was, and it was too real to begin with. "If his condition changes," she resolved, and he put a hand on her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
"She's not sleeping milady," Lalasa curtseyed to Alanna from the doorway, keeping her head bowed. Alanna turned and smiled weakly at her as she continued. "She wants to know if she's allowed to come out yet."
Alanna grinned, almost genuine, "Yes, she may, and will you bring Dom with you? He's in need of a new floor to walk upon. I do believe he's about to wear a hole through this one."
Lalasa smiled and curtseyed before she left. Alanna's eyes fell back upon Neal; her expression grew grim almost immediately. This would take a miracle, but the Goddess was known for miracles.
*
Kel answered the door and sighed when she saw Lalasa and Dom, "Can I come out?"
Lalasa nodded, and Kel smiled and jumped from the room, locking it behind her as she did. They walked in silence toward Neal's rooms. It took Kel everything she had not to quicken her pace. She decided to try and make conversation to lighten her burden. Unfortunately, the only thing she could think to say was about her worry. "How did you know Neal was ill?" Kel asked Lalasa, who shuddered and shook her head.
"I heard about it, from friends in the shop," she answered, and Kel could tell she was trying to keep something out.
"What were they saying about him?" Kel demanded, getting defensive instantly.
"I didn't believe them milady, I didn't for a second," Lalasa assured her.
"What were they saying Lalasa?" Kel growled, and Lalasa nodded and continued.
"They were just saying that they-that he…that he had been tainted, corrupted by the evil Mage. They were saying he was in cahoots with him, that the reason he had fallen ill was because the Mage had died, and his power was getting drained so he'd die with him as well. They said that he attacked you in there, that he was evil," she looked down, ashamed for even repeating it.
Kel's fists clenched so tightly she was sure she would never be able to unclench them, "Neal is nothing short of a hero."
"I know that milady, and soon, when he awakes, they'll know that too," Lalasa smiled at Kel, and she was weary once again. Her temper flared too much lately; it was from all the stress she knew, but still…it bothered her.
"I'm sorry Lalasa," she muttered. "I didn't mean to yell, I just…I'm worried about him…"
Lalasa smiled at her, and Dom put a hand on her shoulder, turning her to stare into his gorgeous blue eyes.
"We all are."
Kel nodded and thanked him before she sighed heavily and walked to the door of Neal's chambers.
