It was three o'clock in the morning and there was pandemonium in the bathroom at Number Twelve. Alseides was the first one in the bathroom; now there are four: Alseides, Harry, Lupin, and Boromir. As you can probably tell, things are going to get a little freaky in this bathroom, so I advise you to watch out.

Alseides = So. I am assuming the door is locked and cannot open the door from the inside, seeing as though the three of you are still here bothering me, except perhaps Lupin.

Lupin = Yes, I am the favorite. The nice one, not stupid, bothersome, or corrupted.

Alseides = Sure. Well then, anyone up for a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos? *looks around anxiously*

Harry = No! Not that ruddy game again! *eyes the Hungry Hungry Hippos box on top of the toilet with fear*

Alseides = Shut up Harry! Everyone knows that you're just scared. You know. now that I think about it, you're acting a lot like Frodo. What a wimp!

Harry = Who the heck is Frodo?

Boromir = *muttering under breath* Stupid halfling. The Ring should have been mine.

Alseides = Your hobbit twin. Now shut your mouth! *Harry shuts up at last* Any takers?

All = *Shake heads* Nope.

Alseides = Well, that's too bad, because I'm bored. Stupid man and hobbit- like wimp.

Lupin = Ahem. I am a man. I was under the impression that I am your "favorite".

Alseides = Well, you're not really a m-

Lupin = Ahem.

Alseides = Scratch that. Don't worry, you're still my favorite. And- your being my favorite, you can decide how to eliminate these two.

Lupin = *Wow. she picked me.* Though I have another IDEA. Does Truth or Dare sound amusing to you?

Alseides = Very. I'm amazed at how you can think under pressure. Great IDEA, by the way.

Lupin = *smiles charming smile* It shall be very amusing with these, er, phalanges.

Alseides = *cracking up at the word "phalange", ignoring Harry and Boromir now staring at her*

Lupin = *smiles again* Who wants to go first?

Harry and Boromir = Me! Me! Me!

Lupin = Er. Boromir. And. *pulls bottle out from behind him* .this will be the device that decides the turns.

Boromir = What do I do?

Lupin = Spin it.

*Boromir spins the bottle. It lands on Harry.*

Boromir = So. Mister Harry, what do I do?

Harry = Not telling. Ask Lupin, he seems to know it all.

Lupin = That is Master Lupin to you, wimp. And, Boromir, ask him "Truth or Dare?"

Boromir = *uneasily* Truth or dare?

Harry = er. truth.

Boromir = .

Alseides = *laptikureom wotx* Ask him something already, idiot!

Boromir = Which in the company do you find most attractive?

Harry = Darn, I saw that movie. Does it have to be in the company?

Boromir = Well. no.

Harry = Alrighty, then. Theoden.

Boromir, Alseides, and Lupin = WHAT!!!???

Boromir = I thought it'd be me for sure.

*Alseides and Lupin exchange glances*

Lupin = I should've known. *shakes head in disgust*

Alseides = If that dyke wasn't blocking the toilet, I'd puke.

Just then, Lupin was hit in the back with the door as it opened and in came none other than *drum roll* Severus! The door automatically closes.

Lupin = Ow!

Harry and Boromir = Who the heck is Severus?

But Lupin had unfortunately discovered the slimeball who was responsible for his injury.

Lupin = YOU!!!

Severus = YOU!!!

Harry and Boromir = Who???

Alseides = Snape. Or shall I say-

Severus = DON"T SAY THE NAME!!! DON"T SAY THE NAME!!!

Lupin = Snivellus. That is how he shall be known from now on.

Snivellus = NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alseides = Good work, Lupin.

Harry: This must be what they call "Ultimate Suffering".

Boromir = No. Losing the chance to bear the Ring is Ultimate Suffering. *goes into another episode* The ring should have been mine. I mean, I am Ezish, I am the Ez of Gondor! But noooo. that accursed halfling. it went to him. ARGH! *buries face in hands*

Alseides = *watching Boromir* Poor Aragorn, having to be related to him.

Snivellus = NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alseides = Lupin, would you be so kind as to shut him up? It would be greatly appreciated and we would be able to finish this game.

Snivellus = Game? What game? I love games!

Harry = That shut him up.

Alseides = Wow. You're very observant. Now, Snivellus, we are playing Truth or Dare and it is Lupin's turn.

Snivellus = Yippee!!! I play this with Flitwick all the time!!! There are a lot things you wouldn't know about him!!!

Alseides = I'm sure there are. *leans over to Lupin and says quietly* Seems as if his little, er, passtime surpasses his hatred for The Name.

Lupin = Seems so.

*He spins. It lands on Alseides.*

Lupin = Truth or dare?

Alseides = Truth. I haven't done it in a while.

Harry = COPYCATER!!!

Snivellus = Shut up, Harry. I'm afraid that was a bad choice.

Alseides = How do you know?!

Snivellus = Because I do. You'll find out soon, anyhow.

Lupin = Er, .Alseides, um, well.

Snivellus = Spit it out, Lupin.

Lupin = *very quickly* If-I-asked-you-to-go-out-wit-me-will-you?

Alseides = *blank stare* What?

Snivellus = He wants to know if you'd go out with him.

Lupin = You know this? How?

Snivellus = Oooh! I know this one! Oh yes. I have seen it.

Boromir = So you have seen my movie too, then?

Snivellus = No.

Lupin = How?

Snivellus = I have my ways. Now, Alseides, this is your cue to answer.

Alseides = Who appointed you the boss?!

Snivellus = I did.

Alseides = Right. Lupin, I sort of have a boyfriend at the moment, but I'll keep you in mind.

Lupin = *smiles charming smile again* Can I ask you another question?

Snivellus = CHEATER!!!

Alseides = *punches Snivellus, knocking him out for a short period of time* Um, sure.

Lupin = Do you have a Band-Aid?

Alseides = No. What for?

Harry = He's bleeding.

Alseides = I've already told you that you're very observant. Shut up and help the Ez of Gondor get through his ring episode. Remember, No CPR!

Harry = Aw, darn.

Alseides = This is a bit odd, being locked in a bathroom without a Band- Aid, don't you think? I wonder if this was planned. Okay, where's the blood?

Lupin = On my back. That evil git Snivellus did it. *He snorted* And I don't think Sirius usually keeps Muggle items stored in his bathroom.

Alseides = Yeah, I could've guessed...

Lupin = What? It isn't that bad is it?

Alseides = You're bleeding to death!

Lupin = So that's why I hurt so much.

Harry = That's obvious.

Alseides = I thought I told you to shut up.

Harry = You did. But, Boromir's back, and It seems he has a serious phobia over blood.

*Boromir is now changing shape*

Alseides = At least he's out of his episode.

Lupin = In case you haven't noticed, I'm dying over here, so do as Alseides says and shut your mouth.

Harry = If you're a wizard, why don't you heal yourself?

Lupin = That would be a great IDEA, only I don't have a wand!

Alseides = Snivellus doesn't seem to have one either.

They all become quiet as they heard odd noises coming from the shower.

Harry = Did you hear that?

*Alseides and Lupin silently nod*

Alseides = Well scince Lupin is bleeding to death, I suppose I'll have to go take a look.

Just then, Ole/Ez Hunter Me steps out of the shower, looking really ticked off.

Alseides = Me!

Harry = Who the heck is Me? *Everyone completely ignores him*

Me = Goten!

Harry = Who the heck is Goten?

Alseides = I happen to be Goten.

Harry = Hang on. I thought you were Alseides.

Alseides = I can have more than one alias, you know.

Harry = So you mean to say you're two people at the same time? Wicked.

*Alseides rolls her eyes*

Me = *looking around* Why are you in a bathroom with these oles?

Alseides = And the Ez. Don't forget the Ez. Boromir admitted that he was the Ez of Gondor. And Lupin isn't an ole, he's my friend.

Me = Ah. It looks to me as if he's bleeding to death.

Alseides = I'd noticed. Hey, Guess what? He asked me out.

Me = W HAT!!!??? *Now looking at Lupin as if he was more insane than Goten was.*

Alseides = I told him I'd call him if I was desperate.

Sounds from the shower become noticeable.

Me = I'd better take care of that.

Alseides = Oi! I'm coming, too!

They slide open the door to the shower. Mad-Eye Moody and Meriadoc Brandybuck were inside, both badly bruised.

Harry = Who the heck is Mad-Eye Moody?

Snivellus = *regaining consciousness* He's an Auror. And a stinkin' filthy-

Alseides = Hobbit?

Snivellus = No. Defense Against The Dark Arts Teacher-Position-Stealer.

*Alseides and Me exchange glances as they try to keep straight faces. It doesn't work.*

Harry = Oh. Who the heck is Meriadoc Brandybuck?

Me = Brandybuck of Buckland. Or a "stinkin' filthy hobbit" as Goten and I know him.

Harry = Oh.

Alseides = What's going on?

Me = I was getting ready to plungitize that stinkin' filthy hobbit and then this-

Alseides = Phalange?

Me = Umm. yeah. So then he came in and made me stop the plungitazation!

Alseides = WHAT!!!???

Me = Yeah. And then we somehow got transported here .without the plungitizer. So, the least I could do would be to beat them both up.

Alseides = Good work. *They do the not-so-secret Ole/Ez Hunter high five, and say "Ow!"*

Lupin = Help. me. please. I'm. dying.

Alseides = Mad-Eye Moody! You have a wand, help him!

Moody = Nope. Not listening.

Alseides = Alastor!

Moody = Nooooo! Not the name! No! Ah, yes, how may I help you?

Alseides = Help Lupin. Now.

Me = Well, they certainly call him "mad" for a reason.

Moody = Petrificus Totalus!!!

*Lupin's body gose rigid*

Moody = Sorry, wrong spell.

Harry = It's Wingardium Leviosa! It's Wingardium Leviosa!

Moody = Wingardium Leviosa!!!

*nothing happens*

Moody = Wingardium Leviosa! Wingardium Leviosa! Wingardium Leviosa!

* Lupin blows up*

Alseides = NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry = More 'Ultimate Suffering'.

Moody = S-sorry, p-please don't h-hurt me.

Me = Look on the bright side, at least you never have to worry about going out with him.

Alseides = NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry = When will it ever end? *throws up hands dramatically*

Alseides = F-first S-Sirius and n-now him. s-soon all my f-friends will be.

Harry = You're developing Quirrel-itis!

Me = You know, you're awfully annoying. Shut up, or else!

Harry = You're not my master! I won't shut up! You shut up!

*She chucks a shoe at him*

Me = That shut you up.

Snivellus = Now, let's eliminate him!!!

Alseides = YEA!!!

Moody = *whimpers*

Snivellus = Eliminate that stinkin' filthy Defense Against The Dark Arts Teacher-Position-Stealer!!!