A Lesson in Humility
Yes, SD-6 is gone but for the purposes of the story, it still remains and Sydney and Vaughn have not gone through "Phase One"
1.
She stepped in front of the car as he turned the ignition on and saw the look of shock that quickly ran over his face, looking at her through the windshield and the water running down the glass.
He took in her quickly dampening hair, her dark eyes, the way that all her clothing seemed to suddenly cling to her as her tears blended in with her face.
Sydney Bristow wasn't sad; she was confused. And furious. She stood there, headlights beaming into her eyes as she stoically stood her ground, ignoring the raindrops that fell on her and chilled her bones. Not moving a muscle.
It wasn't until an eternity had passed that Vaughn slowly took out the key and got out of the car resignedly.
The rain snuffed all sound, created an eerie blue overcast over all their surroundings. Her words were calculated, low in pitch, slightly dangerous. "Why are you doing this?"
He forced himself to look up, to meet her eyes as he spoke so that she wouldn't think that he was lying. More than anything else, he was determined not to lie to her.
It was the least he could do.
"You know why."
It seemed almost to be a scene straight out of some movie, the rain dripping down his nose, the wind blowing through her hair, her soulful eyes locked firmly onto his own as she struggled to comprehend his actions.
"Do I?"
"Yes. You do."
She crossed her arms over her chest, shivering slightly as she felt the wet material of her jacket squeeze closer to the skin of her arms and stomach. "Please. Enlighten me as to what this inherent knowledge is because I don't have a clue as to what you are talking about."
He leaned his head back, looking at the gathering clouds as he laughed. "Yes you do. Do you think that this is what I want?"
Her eyes narrowed. "No one is forcing you to do this."
"It has to be done. Why are you not agreeing with me? We both know it's true."
She felt emotion explode from her heart and sear through her body though she could not yet identify what emotion it could be. "Will you at least treat me like a grownup and tell it to me straight out?"
He ran his fingers through his wet hair and for the first time, Sydney noticed how callused his hands were. These are the hands that write the counter missions, the ones that hold me when I need comfort, the ones that stay strong and constant throughout anything that gets sent our way. Why are you taking them away from me?
"I told you."
"Humor me."
He looked around. "Maybe we should go somewhere else; it's cold and wet and people could see"
"No." There was such a definite note to the tone of her voice that Vaughn didn't even dare ask why not. "You can't lay something like that on me and then try to ease your way out of it. You dropped the bomb and you are staying here to witness the aftermath of the situation. You are going to tell me this now because you should and because I deserve an explanation."
She was right. She did. But had it only been so obvious to him? He leaned heavily against the car, relaxed in the rain, reveling in the way it pattered on his skin and the way its drops sounded almost musical to his ears.
And when he opened his eyes again, Sydney could see the pain radiating from them and knew that this hadn't been the easy and matter of fact decision that he had made it out to be.
"Listen. Syd, the reason that I'm procrastinating is because it was hard enough to get it out the first time. I'm not sure I can make it through the second before at least trying to regain my composure."
She looked up at him. "I'm safe now."
He was going to say it. He was just going to say it. "Syd, I can't sleep when you are off on missions, all I can do is stay in bed and roll from side to side wondering what you're doing and how you're doing and... and if I'll be able to see you the next day. I get obsessive about writing counter missions, emotional when you are upset with me, angry when I don't get to see your face... don't you get it?"
Her voice was soft and level. "Yeah. Yeah I get it. So this is all about you."
"Yes...-no. Both. Kendall and Weiss... They are all right. My judgment has been compromised, I can't think straight."
"Everything you've described to me has only made you a better handler."
"Then you're right. I'm only thinking of myself. I just know that I can't go on another day seeing you and not being able to touch you or look you in the eye for more than a couple of seconds." Vaughn's voice trailed away... She deserved a better explanation. But there was no other. This was it.
"If you are telling the truth, tell me one thing." She stood, her eyes blazing with fire and tears. "How will distancing yourself be beneficial to you? According to what you said, to cure yourself, you would have to be around me all the time."
No words came out. It had been so clear in his mind, all outlined and explained. Why did none of it make any sense now?
She slung her bag on the shoulder, stepping up to him, breathing fire. "Fine. You can't take it, you can't handle it, leave. If you can't take being around me, then go. Because I'm not changing... I'm- I'm it." She took a breath, willing him to stop her and beg her to forgive him, wanting him to tell her he would stay.
But there was only silence.
"When you can give me an honest explanation, you can reach me."
She walked away, feeling stronger but heartbroken. What was left to fight for now? Strange how with every single step she took, she only got more enraged. She felt like she was being abandoned again.
Vaughn was still staring at her retreating figure when she threw her bag down onto the floor and stormed back to him. "But don't think you can just leave with that excuse. You want to touch me? What? Just clarify this for me.
"You want to be sure that I'm safe or you want to be relieved of the job of worrying that I'm safe? Because here's a newsflash. No matter what you do, I will still be going on my missions and the risk of death will still be there. So just keep that in mind while you are sleeping like a baby."
He would've sworn her eyes flashed red. "Sweet dreams. I hope you have plenty of them while you are busy not worrying about me."
She knew she was being harsh but that was her way of dealing with this. Another person, an important person, was leaving her life and she would father be kicking and screaming that sobbing like an imbecile.
She turned away, a burden lifted off her soul when she felt him take a hold of her arm.
With a grunt, she pushed him away from her, stopping him from mangling her emotions further. She panted, the sound of her breaths drowning out the rain from the outside world. "What, you're not afraid to reach out anymore now that you're not my handler? What do you want Vaughn? A present? Did you think we would still be friends? That we could end this on a good note and use our lives as fun anecdotes to tell at dinner parties?"
He stared at her, helpless, caught in her rage.
"Fine, here it is." With all the emotion in her body, she grabbed his shoulders and kissed him hard, placing all her rage and sadness into this one last perfect moment in time. She knew he was surprised, but she had to get it out. She had never kissed so hard in her life.
And when the moment of rigidity passed and he began to kiss her back, she stepped away, not willing to stop being angry with him. How could he leave her?
"Good bye Vaughn."
And she picked up her bag and walked steadily, so steadily, out of the warehouse so that he wouldn't see her tears.
TBC~
Well.... Whaddaya think? It will be S/V I promise... Hopefully it will live up to An Undefinable Sweetness but we'll see.
If you want the next chapter up and you know it, clap your hands (Or push the review button... That works too :))
Please don't hate it too much~ everything will work out... You know me~ Biggest romantic EVER.
-Jenn
