Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I still didn't own Inuyasha, or the rights to any of Evanescence's music. Somehow, I doubt they've decided to be generous since then.
Going Under
"She tried to kill me you stupid hanyou!" Kagome snarled as she stormed away from the idiot in question. Undeterred by her wrath, Inuyasha followed close on her heels.
"I know you don't like her, Kagome, but that's no reason to make up lies. Kikyou wouldn't..."
His words were interrupted by a ferocious growl that raised the hair on the back of his neck. For a split second, he thought his half-brother and mortal enemy had entered the clearing, but his mistake became clear when Kagome spun to face him pain and fury mixed clearly on her face.
"Lies? Lies?" Her voice was escalating rapidly towards a scream, and his sensitive ears folded back against his head in self-defense. His almost never used instincts for self-preservation kicked in, and Inuyasha took a cautious step away from the raging teen, sudden fear shooting through him as her aura crackled through the air around them.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you50,000 tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
"I have put up with your insults, your name calling, and your fits of temper. I have ignored you running off after that dead bitch over and over, and helped you pick up the pieces afterwards. I have protected you, and saved your stupid ass from spider heads and cannibals and even your beloved Kikyou. I didn't complain when you let her hand our half of the Shikon over to Naraku. I have been patient, and understanding, and waited for you to realize that she's not the woman you remember, and now you accuse me of lying about her?"
"Why else would you say such a thing?" Inuyasha had fallen back in shock at Kagome's sudden outburst, but as usual his own temper sparked to life, making him say things he knew he would regret later.
"Maybe because it's the truth?" Her voice was sarcastic, but beginning to lose it's strength. How many times had they been here before? she wondered to herself, suddenly tired. She shook her head abruptly. "You know what? It doesn't matter. Just forget I said anything."
"Kagome..." the sudden exhaustion in her face made him feel guilty, even through his own anger, and his voice gentled.
"Forget it Inuyasha." She sighed and her shoulders slumped in resigned defeat. "I'm going to take a bath. I need to get rid of all this dirt."
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myselfMaybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
"I'll tell Sango." It was a peace offering, and they both knew it, just as they both knew he would pretend that her earlier words had never been spoken.
"Don't, Inuyasha. I need some time alone." Time alone to try once more to come to grips with this twisted love story that held them all in it's iron grip. To try to once more to rebuild the cheerful facade she tried to keep in place over the confusion and pain and fear. To try once more to learn not to love this man before her.
Maybe this time she would succeed.
I'm going underDrowning with you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
They had made camp near a hot spring for once. It seemed forever since she had had a warm bath, and she relaxed in the small luxury, letting the water soothe muscles still aching from the earlier battle.
God, I can't keep this up, she thought, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against a convenient rock. A sad smile crossed her lips. I thought love was supposed to be warm and fluffy and full of hearts and flowers. I didn't know it hurt this much.
She brought her hands up and covered her face. I have to stop this. I have to break away from him before it kills me. She knew that Inuyasha loved her. And for so long now she had been hoping that eventually, he would turn away from the shell that was all that remained of his first love and love her.
She still hoped it.
But it was killing her.
Blurring and stirring the truth and the liesSo I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
Kagome loved Inuyasha.
Inuyasha loved her.
Inuyasha loved Kikyou.
Kikyou was dead.
A creature that looked like Kikyou was still walking the earth.
Inuyasha loved Kikyou.
Kagome loved Inuyasha.
Inuyasha couldn't accept that the thing wearing Kikyou's face wasn't really the woman he had loved and who had followed him into death fifty years earlier.
Inuyasha knew that the thing wearing Kikyou's face wasn't really the woman he had loved, but the guilt he felt over their deaths made it impossible for him to let her facsimile be harmed.
Inuyasha loved Kagome.
Inuyasha loved Kikyou.
Kagome loved Inuyasha.
I'm going underDrowning with you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
Inuyasha wasn't going to choose. He couldn't.
So go on and screamScream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under
"IDIOT!!!" she screamed, not sure whether she was shouting at Inuyasha or at herself. "IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT!!!" She slammed her hand against the surface of the water over and over, sending sheet after sheet of water flying through the air, a substitute for the tears she had kept locked inside her for so long.
I'm dying againShe spun around, sending water spraying in all directions before stopping and burying her face in her hands. Her shoulders shuddered violently.
If Inuyasha wouldn't choose, Kagome would.
Raw sounds tore from her throat as long hidden tears began to fall.
I'm going underDrowning with you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Going under
I'm going under
Kagome cried.
***A/N: Well, in the general spirit of Evanescence songfic that seems to have invaded the boards recently, I offer you this. Much angst and pain for all my victims, and no WAFF whatsoever. We see: Kag/Inu, Kik/Inu, and hints of Sess/Kag.
