A/N: Well, I've made it 'round third and I'm heading home. Yay!!
Disclaimer: Inuyasha: not mine. The music and lyrics of Evanescence: not mine.
My Last Breath
Kagome stared down at her blood covered hand, her mind trying to reject the evidence her eyes were giving her.
"I'm ... bleeding?"
She was peripherally aware of red and white blurs breaking out of the woods that surrounded the embattled camp site, freezing as they reached the edge of the flickering firelight, but she ignored the newcomers as she tried to deal with the dawning awareness of what it meant that she was losing so much blood so quickly.
"I'm ... dying?"
Hold on to me loveYou know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms
The sights and sounds of battle faded, their import vanishing under this sudden new realization.
Kagome was bleeding, badly enough that she knew an artery had been hit, and that she would soon be dead. Even in her time, with all their medical technology, an injury like this would would probably be fatal.
"I'm sorry Mom," Kagome whispered, still staring at the red stain on her hand. "I didn't expect..."
What would this do to her family? she wondered. Even with all the dangers she had already faced, all the suppressed worry she had seen in her mothers eyes, Kagome had somehow never believed it could come to this.
Would her mother ever forgive herself for having allowed her daughter to make her risky journeys into the past? Would Souta ever forgive himself for having thought this was nothing more than a great adventure? Would her grandfather blame himself for not having succeeded at blocking the well that time so long ago?
Another thought crossed her mind, horrifying her for a moment. Would her family ever find out what had happened to her? Would Inuyasha even bother to tell them? Or would they be left to wonder and hope that each knock at the door was her?
She shook the petty thought away. He would. He might not love her the way she had hoped he might, be she knew he did love her as a friend. That thought spawned another, equally painful.
Had she remembered to tell her family she loved them before she left?
Holding my last breathSafe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
She drew a breath and a burning pain stabbed through her injured side, driving the breath out of her on a muffled whimper and bringing her hand back to cradle the wound in her abdomen. She was vaguely surprised that she hadn't felt it until now.
Amazing thing, shock, she mused. Meant to help the injury victim survive. It wasn't going to work this time though. Kagome took another breath, and felt a new wave of pain. Breathing hurt, she concluded, and held her breath to avoid jarring the injury again.
I'll miss the winterA world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
There were so many things she was going to miss, she thought sadly, a single tear falling from her eye. So many things she hadn't yet had a chance to do and experience.
She would never see Souta open the Christmas present that was already wrapped and hidden under her bed.
She wouldn't be there to help her friends defeat Naraku. She wouldn't get to see Miroku's cursed hand healed, and Sango and Kohaku reunited.
She wouldn't be there to help Shippou grow up into the man she knew he could be.
She would never know what it was like to be truly loved.
Holding my last breathSafe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
As though the thought was an enchantment, the world around her faded away. The sights and sounds of battle were replaced by loving gold eyes laughing at her while a husky male voice spoke to her of love, and need, and joy.
Inuyasha? she wondered for a giddy moment, before remembering that his eyes never shone like that when he spoke to her. Only when he spoke of Kikyou.
Was there someone out there who would have loved her, Kagome?
Yes, there was such a man, she knew with sudden, soul-deep certainty. There was a man who would have loved her for who she was, not for who she had once been, and it was him she was seeing in this vision, this last tantalizing glimpse of what might have been before she left this life for the next.
Closing your eyesYou pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Would he even know that she had existed? she wondered. Would the man who was meant to love her travel through life alone, always seeking the woman who was the other half of his soul? Or would he find another woman to love and cherish?
She hoped he would, prayed he would, even as she imagined his strong arms wrapping around her and pulling her to rest against his firmly muscled chest, heard the sound of his strong heart beating in her ear. She didn't want him to suffer because of her mistakes.
Kagome wished more than anything that she could believe she would open her eyes and wake up to discover that this was no more than a wonderful, horrible dream, but she knew it wasn't going to happen.
She could close her eyes, and open them as many times as she wanted, and she would still be dying. And alone.
Say goodnightDon't be afraid
Calling me, calling me, as you fade to black.
"I'm sorry!" she called in her mind to her unknown lover when she felt the dream begin to dissipate as the pain in her body drew her back to reality. "I'm sorry I'll never get to meet you, to know you. I love you, be happy!"
She thought she heard him call her name as his golden eyes faded away, leaving her alone in a deepening field of red-tinged black.
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself
(Holding me) Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
Another searing pain ran through her as her suffocating lungs expanded, fulfilling her body's demand for oxygen. The sharp stabbing pulled her out of the remains of her dream, and suddenly she was back in the forest clearing, surrounded by sound and movement. The howl of the Air Rip rang in her ears, drowning out the screams emitted by the lizard youkai as it was drawn in. Relief that her friends were safe washed away the last of her strength.
The grey tunnel that preceded oblivion coalesced around the edge of her vision, blurring away the aftermath of the battle, and Kagome felt herself begin to fall.
***
A/N: 10 down, 1 to go. I'll try to get it out over the weekend, job willing.
