(Yashira's Note: Enjoy the fic. And the reference to the upside down MacRonald sign was not a typo. J )
***A Ranma ½ Fanfic****
House Guest
Part 2 of 5
Bank Notice
"Nabiki, check dad's bank records again. This, this can't be right?" Akane, clearly hysteric, was waving several forms of paper in front of her unamused sister's face venomously. "Dad couldn't have gone bankrupt... it just doesn't happened!"
"Oh really," Nabiki, her voice flat, her eyes staring burning holes at where Ranma and Genma stood comforting a distraught Soun, was not surprised. "I've checked the figures then times already and all I can say is that daddy made an 'oopsy.' Akane you can't seriously say you never once worried if daddy had enough to support us all?" Akane's eyes looked bubbly and childish as she made a sour pout and looked away. "I should have known."
"Does this mean I need to set another place for lunch," Kasumi asked politely as she dried off a dish she'd been washing.
"Lunch, breakfast, dinner, you name it. It seems that dear old daddy neglected his bank statements so badly that we're caught between a rock and... well another rock. This Risa Arashi, it seems is to stay here permanently... her father says here..." Nabiki pick up another sheet from the table intent on reading it, but Akane's rudely interrupted with;
"I can't believe this. Now dad has to raise someone else's daughter, where's the justice here. The bank could have at least gave us some warning or something... you think..."
"What a Haul, what a haul!"
"Something tells me," Ranma, his voice heavy in disgust as he scanned the distance hallway for the incoming pervert, "that the old freak's behind this."
Genma's glasses glazed up as he looked at Ranma perplexed. "Why'd you say that my boy?"
"Isn't he always behind something?"
"You got a point."
"What a haul! What a-hummpt!" Ranma's foot hit smack dab in the center of the old freak's face, and the bundle of undies flew backwards with a fluffy pounce. "Ranma, what did you do that for?!"
"Tell me something, you wouldn't happened to know anything about some bank notices... would you?"
Happosai made a "thinking man pose" as if trying to rattle something from that incomplete brain of his before shrugging uselessly, "Nope." He reached for his green bag, started to jump forward, but abruptly stopped. "Not unless you mean those funny yellow envelops marked time sensitive which I used to light my pipe with, then sorry, no..." Then he was gone, disappeared upstairs like a puff of smoke.
There was a cry, or what sounded like a gurgle or groan of someone turning blue in the face, as Soun fell over backwards. "The notices... ohhhh.... I don't feel so good..."
"I knew it," Ranma knuckles cracked with the open fist he made.
"What are we going to do now, the Arashi now own the dojo and we have to do everything they say-"
"Akane you never listen do you." Nabiki scolded, waving the sheet she'd scooped up from the table in front of her sister's face. "Here let me read this notice that Risa gave me, before Kasumi was so nice enough to let her rest upstairs." Clearing her throat, Nabiki read,
"Dear Soun Tendo,
seeing that you know how to raise three worthy daughters, and are able to sustain two additional guests, I have taken the liberty to place in your care my own daughter Risa. She needs a stable environment where she can attend school and grow up normally. I am sure you will do a good job in these matters...
"Oh my, this isn't what you can call stable environment, is it?" Kasumi asked as both Ranma and Genma exchanged dark looks.
"Even in my book... turning into a girl when hit with cold water... I wouldn't consider normal."
"I know," Genma replied, nodded solemnly, "Makes you wonder what Risa's father considers normal..." Feeling suddenly as if someone was watching him, Genma glanced up to feel the cold die hard glare of Nabiki. (Picture a floating head with dark narrow eyes!)
"If you're quite done I like to finish reading." Both Ranma and Genma looked abashedly at their feet.
I am sure you will not challenge me on this matter because as so stated by my representatives, I will tear down your home and build whatever my whims tell me, a fast food structure, a mall, graveyard... whatever will make me money.
"OHHHHH!" Soun groaned from his spot on the floor, the look on his face was absolutely nasty as he twisted his head back and forth. "Not the MACRONALDS...! The inhumanity..."
Nabiki just gave her father a look before continuing.
I am well aware of your monetary situation and I am quite willing to pay all cost of operating the dojo, along with a generous sum of 45 0000 yen a week (about 4500 $ US and a bit more CAN. I never really did well in math, so I know this isn't exactly right, but the idea I want to get across is that its about $4500 a week. If anyone knows the right amount in yen please let me know.)
It was like a flash of light because one moment Soun was on the floor comatose and the next moment he had the letter in his hand as Nabiki mysteriously whipped a calculator out from thin air.
"Holy S$%! Daddy that's 50000 yen (500 $) a day!"
"Nmnnnnmmmn" There was barely a legible sound from his o-shape mouth as the letter shook uncontrollably in his hands. It took Genma, Soun's best friend and loyal moocher, to pry the letter from his stiff fingers and read the remainder of the letter.
Should any problems, unforeseen expenses, whatnot, do not be afraid to contact my representatives. They will take care of any matters as quickly as possible. The Dojo is yours to do with as you please, all you need do is take care of my daughter as you would your own. Should there be any additional questions, please ad quire at the....
"There has to be some sort of catch," Akane began suspiciously as Nabiki rechecked the figures on her calculator for the third time. "This can't be real."
"Yoshi! I'll make the necessary questions daddy," Nabiki said energetically, her whole body pumping overtime at the idea of fresh money coming into the dojo and possibly into her own fingers. "There's a list here of people to contract... I'll get started right now... leave everything up to your capable and willing daughter."
"Nabiki! What if this is a scam. We shouldn't just-" Akane, fluster and turning red in exasperation, was pointedly being ignored as Nabiki left to make the calls, privately.
"Oh dear lord," Tendo was waving a check that had accompanied the letter, bearing the sum that would be paid out to him. "It a check for 450000 yen!"
"Can I touch that?" Nabiki asked as she greedily yanked on the genuine one hundred percent certified check her father refused to let go.
"I thought you were going to make the call?" Ranma asked, but he knew the question was useless, neither Nabiki or Soun were listening to him.
"This is a MIRACLE! We'll be set for life... oh Kasumi go upstairs and see if my "daughter" needs anything... " Kasumi nodded respectfully as Akane's eyes seem to explode in her skull. "Saotome, we're rich! We're rich! We're set for life!"
"Daadddd!" Akane began to protest, but a sharp piercing scream from somewhere upstairs, followed immediately by;
"Don't cry, think of me as your kindly old grandfather."
"OH NO!" The horror and dread coming off Soun's voice could stone water.
"It's the freak!" A bit surprised, Ranma made the unnecessary question, "You don't think..."
Soun's face turned a ghastly shade of gray. "We're doomed... upside-down MacRonalds are on their way... nooo, Ranma you got to do something!" He reached out desperately for Ranma's vest and yanked hard. "PLEASSSEE!"
"ME, what do you want me to do? You want her money, you take--hey!" Wasting not a moment, Genma scooped up his still talking son, throwing him bodily up the stairs.
"Make me proud Ranma, the sake of our future stability relies on you!"
"HEEEYYYY!!!!"
The aim couldn't have been more true as Ranma landed feet first on Happosai's head. With an unamused face, mostly ill-contempt for his own father, he turned a sour gaze on Happosai's crushed skull. "Hey you old pervert, she's a guest here. She's off limits, got that?"
"Ranma, why are you always picking on me, I just wanted her to try on this..." In his little hands was the bra he was always trying to force on him. "Uh.. huh," he whimpered, "I only wanted to give it as a gift,... you're always so mean to me," he had those wobbly eyes filled with tears and looked as if he would explode emotionally. "No wonder all the nice girls are afraid of me-"
"Don't blame me, you pervert, whose fault do you think it is in the first place, raiding all those girls locker rooms for their panties... I ought to smack you one good-"
Happosai burst into tears as he glanced towards Risa beseechingly. "See what I have to put up with-" He turned to Ranma, the look of sappiness and tears, twisting into something ugly and spiteful, as he reached forward with bra in his hand. "Now you're the only one who can wear this! Put it on..."
For a brief moment Ranma glanced up at Risa, her blue eyes staring intelligently at him, watching and calculating like Nabiki and Shampoo, yet lacking the hideous cruelty the two could sometimes possess. Before anything else could be done, he felt as if she were forming an image, a judgment, just by staring right at him. When his fist finally hit Happosai and sent him plummeting through the ceiling, she'd finally looked away.
"You, alright?" He asked, rubbing a hand uncomfortably through his black hair, avoiding the look of her burning blue eyes.
"Yes, he just surprised me as I was coming out of the bath."
"Sorry about that, but we didn't know when he was coming home... he has an unfortunate habit of peeping at girls... he's never grown out of it-" Under his breath he added, I don't think he ever will.
"Ranma you pervert!" Akane, who'd come up to check on them, was screamed obscenities at Ranma as she hit him hard with a mallet.
"What the, it wasn't me, it was-" It was then that he noticed that Risa was clad only in a towel, her buxom body not nearly as concealed as it should be as her long brown hair slid suggestively down her back. "I.. um... she's almost naked, isn't she?"
Needless to say, he was hit again by Akane, and sent hurtling through the roof.
Somewhere, on a roof in Tokyo, both Ranma and Happosai lie upside down, head crashed into titles, with swirly marks dancing merrily in their eyes.
End Part 2 of 5.
