Part 15
Goodbye, old Joy

The sun rose over the horizon, red like blood, announcing another warm day, another passing page in people's lives, but the decisive one for one particular person. Joy ran through the streets of Sunnydale, hoping she wouldn't be too late. Hoping, that everything she had worked so hard to achieve wouldn't become dust in the blink of an eye. In all the commotion she had stirred and all the people she had had to face in the last couple of days she had forgotten one important detail, that now threatened the completion of her plan. Her father had obviously been willing to leave at her request, but what if now his will was no longer his own? She did not have the strength to break the chain a great power had tied around his neck.

She felt too tired to fight such a battle and too weak against such a menace. She knew how it was destroyed, knew what was coming, but she could not stand against this storm, because it was meant to clash with her mother, not her. Joy had other hurricanes standing in front of her. One that would most likely swallow her whole along with everything she had known in her lifetime.

Sunnydale High appeared in front of her: big, friendly in appearance, but dark and disturbing underneath the surface. She could feel the evil pulsating in its halls, underground, like thousands of unheard wolves howling and pulling at a wounded prey. She hesitated entering at first, afraid that some unspeakable evil could possess her. She took a deep breath and walked inside. The corridors were empty. It would be another two hours until the busy faculty and students would roam like ants inside it, unaware of the evil lurking right under their feet.

She felt rather intimidated by the emptiness of the place, but went on. She had to find her father. She knew how vulnerable he had become after getting his soul and how he had been maneuvered and brainwashed by the prime evil. He always said that if her mother had been there from the beginning, he would have never gone insane. He had been alone and just the thought that Buffy hated him and what he had done to her had driven him insane.

She came to a halt in front of the door leading to the basement. She fidgeted for a moment before she opened it and went down the stairs, in the darkness. She walked for a while not finding anything. Then suddenly she heard a low voice whispering in the dark.

"I thought I'd find you here," Joy said nearing the figure crouched in a corner, hugging itself and still rambling on. Spike was there, just like she had suspected and he wasn't sane anymore. He didn't seem to even notice her presence. "Dad?" he didn't answer, he just lowered his head and continued to talk to himself. "Dad, get up. Get up!"

Spike looked up at her and his eyes shined wildly.

"Girl with white hair. Like silver - white. Shining, shining, in the dark. Girl with the dark spark. Her eyes. Just like hers - emerald green," he startled mumbling. Then suddenly he stood up and neared her. Joy took a step back, fearful, not knowing what to expect of him in this state, but he moved incredibly fast and grabbed her by the shoulders. "You think I don't see it?!" he yelled. "The dark spark. There, inside you!" he tapped on her chest with one hand while still grasping her with the other.

"What are you talking about?" Joy tried to pull away from him. "There's no dark spark. No spark at all." He laughed, dryly and pushed her into the nearest wall. She crumbled to the floor from the power of the push.

"No spark?! No spark?! What are you? Blind?!" he stared at her coldly. "I had the spark, a long time ago, I had the good spark. They put it back, you know, put it back in here," he reached for his own chest. "But it got filthy. Filthy from the dark. Filthy from all the blood. And then I put the filthy spark in you, didn't I? Didn't I?!" he yelled looking down at her.

"Dad, this isn't you," Joy said slowly standing up and limping towards him.

"Isn't it?" he leaned his forehead against hers. "Why'd you let me put the dark spark in you?"

"I don't care about the spark. It might be dark, but if its yours I'll have it any day over the good one," she said and wanted to hug him, but Spike pulled away abruptly.

"You don't know what you're saying," he said hugging himself like it suddenly got cold.

"*I* don't know what I'm saying?" Joy laughed. "Listen to yourself and stop acting like you feel sorry for everything that's ever happened to you."

"But I do feel sorry," his eyes drifted nervously towards the darkness.

"Sorry for what? For not living a mediocre life in a time when no one would have ever appreciated you? A small, unimportant, lonely life? You were never meant for that world, not then, not now. So you killed, you tortured and you loved it all the way, but that was in another lifetime, one that stopped the moment you got that soul back. The spark isn't filthy, you just make it seem that way to yourself. If you look beyond all those regrets and all those tears and all that sorrow you'll see it's still the same," she smiled. "Maybe a little worn out by time, but it's still the good spark you had a long long time ago."

Spike was silent. It broke her heart to see him in this state, but she could do nothing to help him, just hope that her words would sink him and he'd realize his existence wasn't as horrible as he thought it to be. He stared in the darkness again and this time Joy followed his gaze.

"This isn't about the soul, is it?" she suddenly realized where they were. "That's not what's driving you insane. Oh, god, I should've remembered this earlier."

"It came with the spark. They all did. Screaming," he continued to stare into the darkness. "Always screaming. Taunting."

"Where are you? Show yourself!" Joy yelled, but she got no answer. "What is it saying, dad?" he didn't say anything. "Answer me!"

"She says you think you can save them, but you can't. You never will. They'll die no matter what you do. You're just lying to yourself," Spike repeated the words the demon, in Drusilla's form, had just spoken.

"Ask her if she wants to know the future," Joy smiled knowingly. "Well?"

"She didn't say anything," Spike said looking back at Joy. "Can you see her too?"

"No, I can't. She's in your head, not mine," Joy approached him and took his hand. "You have to leave this place. It's making you sick." She guided him towards the staircase that lead to the Sunnydale High corridors above them. Before they could reach the stairs, Spike pulled away.

"I can't," Spike looked up at the open door of the basement.

"You have to leave this place, this city, for your own good. For her own good," she reminded him.

"I know. I just..." the problem was Joy couldn't see Buffy standing right in front of the vampire with a concerned look on her face.

"Please don't leave me," the slayer pleaded with him. "I'll die without you."

"Wherever she is, whoever she is, she isn't real, but that girl who lives a few streets away from here is real and she's been through hell all her life and she's going to go through even more in the next few years. She's the one you love and you're suppose to help. She's the real Buffy," and with this said she headed up the stairs. She stopped halfway up and turned towards him. "Are you coming?"

"It's morning," he said looking up at the sunny corridors of the highschool.

"I guess it is," she looked up for a moment then back down at him and he seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper into the darkness, but she could not help him out of it.

"William, please," the ghost persisted. Spike looked into its eyes and smiled. Those were not her eyes, not the emerald eyes, but endless pits of darkness. He passed right through her and headed up the stairs taking his daughter's hand. Behind him he could hear the demon screaming at him to return, but he didn't turn to look back and the demon and its many voices disappeared urn, but he didnes, tõõ&-+"'?-+"'?- +"'?-+"'?-+"'?

"Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have a daughter like you?"

Meanwhile at the Summers home Angel was making breakfast for Buffy.

"You know, I could really get used to this," the slayer said leaning her head on her arms. She had barely slept the previous night. For some reason she had been restless even in her 4 hours of sleep. She couldn't understand why as she usually slept well in Angel's presence. Maybe it was that strange feeling that something was being hidden from her. She at least assumed they were keeping things from her for a good reason. She just wondered what.

"Who couldn't?" the vampire smiled. This was a whole new side of him Buffy had never seen. He was happier, he joked more and he had stopped being uptight and broody about everything. She hated to admit it but LA had done him a world of good. And she thought she could get used not only to the food, but this whole new Angel as well. Wesley took this moment to enter the kitchen.

"Have you seen Joy?" he asked them and Buffy shook her head.

"I think she might be with Xander," Angel said. "She stormed out after she asked me if he was home."

"She's not there," Xander said entering the kitchen, having heard the conversation. "She came huffing and puffing and banging on my door in the middle of the night. She was looking for Spike."

"Spike?" Buffy thought that was strange.

"Yup," Xander sat down at the table next to the slayer. "She got all worked up about him not being there too."

"Where was he?" Buffy wanted to know.

"I don't know. I don't really keep track of all his outings. He didn't come back all night," he said lifting his shoulders. "Vampires will be vampires."

"Why didn't you call?" the slayer was beginning to get angry.

"Hey, this isn't the first time he does this, you know. I asked him once or twice where he was going, he just gave me a funny look and a 'none of your bloody business' and left anyway," Xander defended himself.

"You should've told me," Buffy crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well, excuse me, I didn't think that taking in a stray vampire implied a 24 hour babysitting job," Xander was enraged that she held him responsible for Spike's disappearance.

Before Buffy had a chance to say anything else, Joy strolled in holding her mantle over her right arm and yawning.

"And where have you been?" the slayer turned towards her.

"Don't have a cow, mom, I...," Joy blinked and pulled herself together realizing what she had just said. Luckily it had sounded more like a complaint at the slayer's address. "I just thought that since you and Angel seemed to have a lot of history to catch up with, I could ask Spike to held me hunt down my...brother," she realized Buffy was one of the few people who still bought that story.

"Oh," Buffy let out. "Did you find Spike?"

"Yeah, he-he was out for a glass of blood," Joy said. "I'm gonna go crash cause I'm seriously sleepy."

"Take the couch. I think Connor's sleeping in your place again," Angel told her and Joy let out a 'great' before retiring on the couch with her boots on and everything. She didn't even bother to take off her ruby glasses.

"That is one tired teenager," Xander said looking at the already sleeping Joy.

"Didn't even have time to ask her if she found her brother," Buffy realized. "I'll ask her when she wakes up. Hopefully sometime during the next two days."

"I think she did," Angel said thoughtful.

"You think?" Wesley asked.

"Either that or she had to kill him. She cried and I really don't think she'd cry with Spike just for the fun of it," Angel had noticed and wondered what had really happened.

"Really?" Xander looked back at Joy. "You can just tell she was crying?"

"Yeah...tears smell like salt," Angel explained.

"You are going to work today, right?" Xander changed the subject.

"Yup, but I need to fill up on coffee first," Buffy said rising her extra large cup in a salute.

"Where's Dawnie?" Xander asked looking around the kitchen.

"You're a little early. She's still getting ready," Buffy said. "Oh, there she is," she noticed the teenager entering the kitchen.

"Wow, you're going to work," Dawn said it as if it was some sort of miracle. Buffy gave her an annoyed look and Dawn smiled. "You are officially becoming my favorite vampire in the world!" she stated when she noticed the delicious looking food Angel had cooked.

"I thought I already was," Angel smiled.

"Well, Spike came very close to stealing your trophy a few years ago," Dawn told him.

"She had a crush on him," Buffy whispered to Angel.

"I heard that," Dawn looked exasperated over at Buffy. "At least I got over it."

"Hey," the slayer gave Dawn a cross look. "So what are you going to do all day by yourself?" she turned her attention towards Angel.

"Take advantage of that free double bed upstairs," Angel said smiling. "I think I'm getting soft, but I miss my bed."

"Well our floor isn't really four star hotel material," Dawn said.

Xander took Dawn and Buffy to the Sunnydale Highschool and then went to work. A little bit later Willow woke up too and went to the UC Sunnydale having some classes that day. Angel did what he had intended to do and went to rest in Buffy's room, where, surrounded by her scent, he fell asleep almost instantly. Wesley was still in the kitchen when he heard Joy ask from the couch:

"Are they gone?"

"Yes," he paused. "I thought you were sleeping."

"It takes more than just an unslept night to tire me out," she stood up and leaving her mantle still spread on the couch, headed for the kitchen.

"Wanted to avoid all the questions?" Wesley understood her.

"Yeah, you kind of get sick of lying at some point," she sat down at the table.

"You have a remarkable regenerative power," Wesley said astonished that she didn't look tired at all.

"It runs in the family," she smiled. "Plus a glass of blood now and then keeps me fresh."

"You're kidding," he had stopped in his tracks.

"Yes, I am," she continued to smile, but in fact she hadn't been joking. Fresh blood helped her keep up her strength from time to time. Her mother had never known about this habit of hers and her father had never encouraged it either, but it was part of her heritage whether they liked it or not.

"I wanted to ask you a few things about the time traveling spell if you don't mind. I find it rather fascinating," Wesley said taking a seat opposite Joy.

"It's not really a time traveling spell," she explained. "It's a spell that gives you the opportunity to access the life span of a living individual."

"But if that's true what will happen now that the Buffy of your time is dead? Wouldn't that immediately expel you back into your own time?" he asked confused.

"Yes, that would be the case, if I had done the spell through her, which I didn't. I made it through Willow," she smirked. "And I guess I was right to do it. The spell also asked for the consent of the person through which you access time. And you know my mother wasn't about to give me that. Willow didn't approve of what I wanted to do, but she knew she couldn't stop me so she gave me the consent I needed."

"You got lucky. What if Willow had died instead of Buffy?"

"Then I wouldn't be here anymore, now would I? I guess destiny got a final pick. You never really can beat that bitch, can you?"

"If there really is such a thing, I doubt you could beat it," Wesley smiled and after a pause asked: "Why was there no acid in the crater?"

"There was an energy shield around me. Time travel takes a while. Well, at least for the one doing it. And if you weren't protected you'd asphyxiate from its speed. Unfortunately the shield doesn't protect you from a bad landing."

"I guess it doesn't," he smiled.

"I think I'm leaving tonight," she said all of a sudden.

"Already?" he was surprised. "I hoped you'd stay a little longer."

"My time's running out. Dad's leaving tonight and if all goes well I'll be gone by sunrise," she sighed.

"What's really going to happen to you when the future changes?" he asked.

"Technically speaking, I should disappear, but I don't know for sure."

"Frightening thought," Wesley stopped to look at her for a moment.

"Yeah, but it's less scary if you don't think about it," Joy said.

"If I don't get a chance to talk to you again, it's been an absolute pleasure meeting you. And know that I'll do anything I can to make the future a better place so what you did will never be pointless."

"Thanks," she gave him a hug before the ex-watcher retired upstairs to occupy Willow's empty bed. Left alone, Joy pondered going to sleep. It was a waste of time to sleep on your last day on earth, but she didn't really have anything to do so she'd only wind up thinking of her own last vanishing act. And she really didn't want to do that.

"Penny for ya thoughts?" Jacques appeared behind her, startling her.

"Don't do that!" she wanted to smack him over the arm, but her hand went right through him. "Figures. Can't you make yourself material just for a few minutes?"

"Not unless you want to lose me in time," a thin smile appeared on his lips.

"You think I stopped the prime evil today?" she suddenly remembered her encounter with it in the basement.

"Nah, you just delayed it a bit," Jacques assured her.

"Oh. Do you really think I made a difference?" she asked him sitting down on the couch.

"I can't really tell just yet. Ask me tomorrow," he crouched down in front of her. "If there is a tomorrow."

"I'm gonna miss you, Jacques, whatever happens to me," she touched the air next to his cheek.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Joycie. You have no idea how much, chere," touching his amulet, for a single, too short moment, he faded into the past and became tangible to give his best friend one last hug. Then, he disappeared and Joy suddenly felt lonely.

"I never really bothered to ask you this, since everyone seemed to be giving you a hard about it and I know how bad that is, but who are you?" Connor was standing in the doorway of the living room looking over at her.

"I'm Joy," she simply said.

"No, who are you, really," he didn't make a move towards her.

"It's a long, boring story. You really want to know?" she gave him a somewhat desperate look. "It won't really make a difference by tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?" he asked confused.

"I leave," she took off her ruby glasses.

"Oh," he looked at her eyes and noticed the resemblance between hers and the slayer's. "You really don't seem like you want to tell this story all over again."

"You got that right," she smiled.

"So how about I tell you what I think and you tell me if I'm right," he suggested and Joy nodded. "First of all, you're not really human. You're at least half-demon. You've obviously been fighting demons for a while and you've been trained. Your moves are a lot like the slayer's which makes me believe you were either trained by another slayer or Buffy herself. There is no ghola. There is no brother to begin with. You made that up so you could drag dear old dad over here. How am I doing so far?"

"You have your father's detective skills," she smirked and Connor gave her a half-confused, half-annoyed look. He hated being compared in any way to Angel.

"I'm not quite sure why you brought him here. You're also from another world, like I was," he concluded. "Am I right?"

"Yeah, you are," she said.

"I knew it," Connor smiled. He didn't add the fact that he thought she was from the future and the slayer's daughter because it sounded a little too crazy even to him. "Have a good trip home."

"I will," she assured him. Satisfied, he returned upstairs not saying another word to Joy. A few minutes after he left, Joy fell asleep. She figured dreams were far better than tormenting thoughts.

When she woke up it was well after dark. She couldn't believe she had slept for so long. Maybe she had been more tired than she had believed herself to be. She was surprised to find that she was covered in a blanket, her boots were laying by the couch, her mantle was laid neatly on a chair with her ruby sunglasses on top. She stood up still a little dazed and stretched out. No dreams had disturbed her sleep and she felt rested. She stood up and after putting on her boots she headed for the kitchen.

"Well, look whose finally awake," Buffy greeted her. "I'm afraid you just missed dinner, but there's still some leftovers. Somewhere."

"I'm not really hungry," Joy said pulling her hair back.

"You sure? I don't remember you eating anything today."

"I kind of switched night with day so I'll probably get hungry around midnight. Where is everybody?" she was surprised at the emptiness of the usually overcrowded kitchen.

"Well, Willow had some paper to write and she's at the study hall. I think Wesley's still sleeping. Dawn's upstairs doing her homework. Angel went out to look for those gholas but if you ask me I think he went after Cordy and Connor. I really don't get them," she chuckled.

"Sure you don't," she was obviously bothered by the fact Angel was jealous of Cordelia's attention for his son. There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Joy offered and made her way to the front door. It was Spike.

"I'm leaving tonight. Come with me," he told her in a pleading voice.

"I can't. You know I can't," she said in a resigned tone. "But I'll see go, if you want. Maybe watch my last sunrise."

"I'd love that," he said and hugged her tight, holding on to her like she could vanish any second. And she could. Caught in the moment, they didn't realize Dawn had stopped in her tracks at the top of the staircase, listening to them.

"I have to get my things," Joy broke the embrace. She was still wearing Dawn's clothes and she wanted to wear her own clothes when she left this world.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked coming out of the kitchen.

"I found her brother," he lied. "We have to go. Now."

"I'll just get my weapons," Buffy wanted to help out.

"You can't. It's an only demons dimension," Spike made up the excuses as he went along.

"What?" Buffy looked over at Joy. "But she's not..."

"I was infected too," she lied. It was a bad habit she had grown into. "Where are my clothes?"

"Upstairs, in Dawn's room," Buffy told her still taken aback by the news. It would explain a few things, but still. Joy headed upstairs like a storm, passing by Dawn in the process. Buffy stared at Spike for a moment before going after Joy. When she entered Dawn's room, Joy was frantically looking for her clothes. It appeared like Joy had suddenly lost all her patience and wanted nothing more than to leave the house.

"Joy, how could you not tell me you're...whatever you are?" Buffy asked her in an angry voice.

"Be honest, would you have helped me out?" she asked as she finally came across her clothes on a chair.

"Of course I would," she said sounding unconvinced by her own words.

"Oh, come on, Buffy. You get enough hassle helping out humans. Why should you start helping the demons too? Let 'em rot in hell, there's enough of them to go around," she chuckled nervously.

"I'm not like that..." Buffy tried to interject.

"Oh, yeah, well tell me, when's the last time you helped a demon out? Yeah, you know demons, but they're only your 'friends' when they help you out not the other way around," Joy paused for a moment. "If you're not sleeping with them that is."

"That's not fair. I try..." Buffy started, but Joy interrupted her again.

"You can honestly tell me that if you hadn't been attracted to Angel you would've given him a second thought before killing him?" she snapped at her. "And you only kept Spike around because he was useful..."

"I helped him out!" Buffy was beginning to get irritated.

"Yeah, now that you're in love with him!" Joy pointed out.

"I'm not in love with him," she defended herself.

"It's not what that truth spell made you say, now is it?" Joy stopped for a moment to stare at her. "And if what you say is true, well, that's just worse, cause that would make him, what? Your personal sex toy?"

"You have no right to judge me!" Buffy snapped back at her.

"Oh, you have no idea what I have a right to do," Joy turned her back at her and took off Dawn's shirt to put on her own. Buffy stared at her tattoo for a moment, getting an odd feeling reading it.

"And what gives you this so-called right?" the slayer crossed her arms over her chest when, dressed in her own shirt, Joy turned back towards her.

"Knowledge, luv, knowledge," she proceeded to take off her boots and replace Dawn's jeans with her skirt. "Let me do a little recap for you. You loved Angel a hell lot. He left. You got Parker who was an ass. Then Riley who loved you more than anything, but you didn't love him back until he was gone. When he came back, he was married. And now, you say you don't love Spike. Looks to me like the only man you ever loved is Angel."

"What did Spike do? Spend the night telling you every personal detail about me?" she was outraged.

"So tell me, since you both love each other so much, why can't you, I don't know...get back together?"

"We can't. Angel's curse..." Buffy tried to reason with her, but Joy was through reasoning. She was going to say what she had to say right then.

"Wake up and smell the lousy excuses, Buffy. We both know how very possible it is for Angel's soul to become permanent. Oh and did he mention the part with him becoming human one day?" she was dressed now and she was putting her boots back on.

"What?!" she couldn't believe it.

"Just ask him. I'm getting sick of people not knowing the things they should know," Joy said and stormed out of the room and downstairs. She suddenly felt lighter, like she had let out everything that had been bottling up inside her. She went into the living room and picked up her glasses and wrapped her mantle around her shoulders.

"You're not from around here, are you?" Dawn startled her. "Here. This fell out of your mantle." She handed her the amulet.

"You're right, Dawn, I'm not from around here," she took the amulet and put it back safely in her secret pocket. "I'm going back tonight."

"Back where?" Dawn asked her.

"Back home," she seemed to be looking forward to it.

"You forgot your gloves," Dawn suddenly realized.

"You know what? Keep them. You can say I won't need them anymore," she smiled and headed out of the living room.

"Ready?" Spike greeted her. He hadn't moved an inch from where she had left him. He had been afraid that if he made one move he could discover something that would determine him to stay instead of leaving. Joy nodded and went out the door he had held open for her. Just as he was about to exit as well, Buffy yelled after him from the staircase:

"Spike!" He stopped in his tracks and turned towards her. "Take care of yourself."

"I will," a thin smile crossed his lips. "Take care of yourself too."

"I'm not the one going off to fight demons," she reminded him.

"Well, just in case," he turned back towards the door.

"See you tomorrow? You can tell me how it went," she said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," he walked out without looking back.

Buffy felt uneasy, Spike's words had sounded too much like a goodbye. She stood there for a few long moments, not moving.

"Hey, need some help finishing up in the kitchen?" Dawn appeared behind her.

"Yeah--I guess," she couldn't bring herself to move from the door.

"Is everything okay?" Dawn asked when she saw her staring at the door.

"Yeah...I just," she sighed. "It's stupid. Spike - it felt like he was leaving. For good."

"So he told you?" she misunderstood.

"Tell me what?" Buffy turned to look her in the eye.

"Oh, nothing," she realized she had made a mistake.

"Dawn," it was that commanding tone that left no room for an escape.

"I heard him talking to Joy. He said he was going to leave tonight," she didn't mention the fact that he asked Joy along, because she herself didn't know what it had really meant.

"Oh, god," Buffy grabbed her jacket and headed out. She scanned the street, but they were nowhere in sight. They were gone. She started walking, hoping that she could find them before they were gone.

End Part 15