I'll Never Tell…


WARNING:
Rated R for violence, sexual content, swearing and overall darkness. Don't like, don't read. Flames only keep me warm in winter.

NB: A dark Draco/Pansy shipping set in the sixth Hogwarts year. I own nothing.

Chapter One: So the Sixth Year Commences

DRACO POV:

I've been fidgeting for the past hour and a half. I'm bored from this trip, but I'm also nervous. The Death-Eaters induction from barely a fortnight ago is still fresh in my mind, as are the words of Voldemort. I'm no longer afraid to speak his name, but Father has warned me against using it in public, as well as being careful about who I show my Dark Mark to. We don't want anybody such as that awful Rita Skeeter mudblood reporter finding out that our family are still avid Voldemort supporters. That could land the family in Azkaban and a date with the mouth of a Dementor.

Voldemort also gave me a task to complete by the end of the year. He wants me to destroy Pansy Parkinson and make her enter our world of Death Eaters. Being a Malfoy and a newly initiated Death-Eater, I'm not entitled to care or empathize with any of my victims, but…I don't think I can do this. I mean, Pansy is one of my oldest friends and personally, our only disagreement centers on the sides of Light and Darkness…

Oh shit! There's someone knocking at the carriage door! I thought I put up a "Do Not Disturb" sign. Can't the stupid git out there read? Oh, great they're opening the door, where's my wand so I can hex…Oh, it's Pansy. She looks at me, smiling.

"No carriages left." She comments, letting herself in. As she sits down beside me, I find myself staring at her and realizing that she's come a long way from the skinny, spoiled bimbo with limp pigtails that I remembered from our first year. In fact, with her slender curves, shining chestnut hair and perky nose, she's actually become quite a feast for the eyes. Not to mention that being in Slytherin has sharpened her mind and given her a wit and cunning to rival my own. Pity she's already seeing Blaise Zabini…

PANSY POV:

He's staring at me again. Draco always stares at me now, but I don't know whether to feel flattered or awkward. I know I'm attractive; I was lucky enough to inherit my Mother's ice-blue eyes and chestnut hair, straight as a poker. My Dad blessed me with the flawless Parkinson skin and naturally slim body. I don't know whom I got my nose from.

Draco's staring makes me feel awkward I decide, but I mask it by staring back at him just as solidly. Most people find his Veela-like appearance (Pale skin, pale hair and silver eyes) attractive. I'm not among those people. Dark, exotic Blaise suits me better.

"So what subjects have you chosen for the sixth and seventh year?" He's making small talk, a possible sign that my presence makes him nervous. Then again, it could be anything.

"One Unit Muggle Studies, Three Unit Potions, Two Unit Advanced Transfiguration, Two Unit Standard Herbology, Two Unit Advanced Charms and Two Unit Advanced DADA." I answer, ignoring the face he makes when I say Muggle Studies. "What have you chosen?" He shrugs, a small smirk on his face. I've never seen him smile, only smirk.

"Same as you except with One Unit Ancient Runes and Two Unit Standard Arithmancy in place of Mudblood Studies and Herbology. Why the hell would you want to study mudbloods anyway, Pansy? They're a pathetic, dying race."

"All the more reasons to study them and find a faster way to eliminate them." I retort and he laughs, finally breaking the tension between us. I can hear clanking from the train corridor and pull a handful of Galleons out of my pocket. It's the food trolley and, before long, Draco and I have piles of chocolate frogs, pumpkin pasties and every-flavor beans on our laps.

"It's good to see you eating again." Draco says, and I can hear the sincerity in his voice, which warms me inside.

I only managed to come to terms with and defeat a severe eating disorder late into our Fifth year. I had been a diagnosed anorexic since the end of our Second year and at my worst, I had weighed only 45kg, a dangerously unwholesome weight for my 5'7" frame, and my hair had begun to fall out.

 I had managed to pull through only because my friends proved their loyalty to me. Crabbe destroyed my scales so I could no longer obsess over the pounds I gained. Goyle and Millicent held me down at mealtimes and refused to let me go until I had consumed the miniscule amounts of food they piled onto my plate. Blaise made me feel beautiful again with gentle touches between the sheets late at night and stolen embraces during the day.

But it had been Draco who had helped me more than anybody, because I could go to him and pour out my misery to him any hour of the day, and he would always listen. I would lie in his arms in his dorm, my skeletal frame shaking with sobs, as my bottled-up problems would tumble hard and fast from my lips like hailstones from the sky. And he would hold me tight as I talked and talked, and cried and cried, stroking my hair with a gentleness that only I knew he possessed. And when I was unable to cry or talk anymore, he would wipe away my tears and talk to me.

"Never worry or care what anybody else thinks of you, Pansy."

"If people can't see what a beautiful, wonderful person you are then they don't deserve to know."

"In my eyes, you're wonderful and you're loved and cared about."

"Nothing negative you say about yourself will ever make me think any less of you."

"Don't ever forget that, no matter what, I'm your best friend Pansy, and you are mine. Always and forever. I love you for being you."

It was the final one that stood out in my mind. For all his faults (He could be egotistical, discriminatory and arrogant), Draco was the best friend I had ever had because he had always liked me, as I was, faults and all. Not to mention I was the only person who ever had the chance to see that he had a gentle, caring side that wasn't entirely mythological.

DRACO POV:

I don't think I can do this. I might be a Death-Eater, but that doesn't mean I don't have a conscience and Pansy is my best friend. I can't even fathom the idea of hurting or destroying her after all the shit she's been through. There has to be another way around this, there has to be…

"Are you alright, Draco?" And she's not making it any easier either by showing concern for me. Damn it! Why couldn't I have been asked to hurt Mudblood Granger or that Lavender Brown bitch from Gryffindor? Keep calm, Malfoy! Voldemort has given you this mission because he values you and needs to test your loyalty…