Thank you for all the great feedback!
Chapter 8: Stolen moments
Courtney looked around the empty room, the distant sounds of Jason rummaging through the fridge hitting her ears. The moonlight filtered in through the open balcony door, giving light to her tear stained cheeks. Brushing the moisture away quickly, Courtney turned towards Jason, excepting the glass of wine from his outstretched hand. Her fingers slid over the rim of the glass, eyes staring down into the seemingly bottomless red liquid. Silence overcame them, as they stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, a bed millimeters from their feet and very little else. Sighing, Courtney stepped away from Jason and towards the veranda, her feet not being able to carry her far enough away from the situation.
The porch was surprisingly spacious, decorated with a swinging bench, a few deck chairs and stairs that led right towards the beach. For a moment she just stood still, trying to regain a steady heartbeat and clear her head. The water sparkled like crystal beneath the moon, the gentle lapping of the waves lulling her. The brief second of release was broken by his presence, seemingly at her side but she didn't need to turn to know he was behind her. Closing her eyes, Courtney wished her heart didn't flutter every time he was within arms reach, or crave his touch. Standing there without a word spoken, she sipped her wine and looked out over the island in all its serenity, wishing to restore the calmness to her life. I'll marry Kevin and all of this will fade away into the past where it belongs, she thought, willing herself to believe the words. Jason stood back watching the wind blow wisps of her hair about, revealing her almost peaceful features.
"What are we doing?" Courtney finally asked, her words coming out in exasperation and exhaustion. Turning to meet his gaze, she stared into his eyes, knowing what she was so afraid to find in them, love. For the umpteenth time she found herself doubting all the actions she had taken, all the times she had broken his heart, all she could do was stand still and wait for the moment to pass and for the love in his eyes to diminish, it never did. She broke the connection first, turning to lean against the porches cherry wood railing, her eyes trained on the ocean. Taking a swig of the cold beer in his hands, Jason sat on a one of the deck chairs, choosing to sit through the silence until the inevitable outpouring of words.
And it came… nearly an hour and two beers later. Courtney sat on the porch swing, tucking her legs beneath her and squaring her shoulders, before looking at him. All he could do was stare back and wait for her to speak the emotions bottled up inside.
Toiling with the glass in her hands, she took another sip of the warming liquid hoping it would quell her nerves.
"I remember it now, coming here once, when you sent me away for a while," Courtney informed him, noticing how his eyes darted to further along the beach before returning to hers.
" I told Carly about it once she must have remembered the story" He replied flippantly.
" This is your place isn't it?" Courtney inquired, almost rhetorically, knowing that the whole house was signature Jason, although there was no pool table sitting in any corners.
Jason looked off again, appearing to have disregarded her comment, until he stood holding out his hand. Courtney took it without any hesitation, surprising both her and him. No more words were spoken as he led her along the beach and towards a cave, near the end of the sand strip. Guiding her through the darkened tunnel; they reached a clearing, a series of palm trees surrounding a small pond. Courtney took in the beauty, thinking of all the times she had wandered the island and not stumbled upon the secret haven. She turned to Jason, prepared to comment on the places beauty when she noticed what he was doing for the fist time. He was crouching by a bush of wild flowers, parting them to reveal a plaque in the ground. Courtney knew in that instant what it was, without looking at the words and the cross-chiseled above them, she knew. Kneeling by his side she ran her fingers along the grooves of the words, for our little boy, tears slipping down her cheeks before she could stop them. Turning to Jason with a tear filled gaze that mirrored his own, she accepted the comfort he provided. Sitting back he made room to support her shaking form, His arms wrapping around her tightly. Thunder began to rumble through the sky, rain soundlessly falling on the two, pulling them reluctantly from their peaceful embrace. Rising, Courtney hesitated, her eyes darting around while her mind absorbed everything.
She looked down at her clothes, which were soaked through from the growing rainstorm; and then back towards Jason who did nothing but stand and stare an amused smile replacing his saddened expression. Brushing a strand of sopping hair behind her ear she stepped closer, all the while knowing what being this close could mean. Her hand slowly traveled up his arm, the alarms in her head going off as she placed her hand on the back of his neck. Their gazes connected briefly and she knew in that second what she wanted… him. Pulling his head down their lips met in a slow passionate kiss, his arms finding their way around her waist to pull her flush against him. Courtney pulled away slowly, her head reeling while her heart pounded and fluttered at the same time. Resting her forehead against Jason's, she took a deep breath, her eyes remaining closed to absorb the last whimsical seconds of the kiss. She knew he was waiting, staring at her in shock, so she shut her eyes tighter and focused on the lingering feeling of his lips. Jason's thumb began to rub her cheek, the soft touch urging her to open her eyes and get lost in his crystal blue gaze. They stood for what felt like an endless amount of time, their foreheads resting against each other, rain and thunder surrounding them.
Taking a breath, Jason pulled back, running a hand through his sopping hair and looking towards the charcoal clouds now covering the moon.
"What are we doing?" He inquired, turning the tables on her earlier question, leaving her to stare at him dumbfounded.
"I don't know, the plaque it just… and being here with you… it's all just making me more confused" Courtney admitted honestly, her eyes filling with unshed tears as she tried to figure out what she wanted, her emotions only confusing her further.
Running a hand through her drenched blonde locks, she finally registered the growing wind and harshness of the rain falling on her already drenched body. Shivering, she looked at Jason and he wordlessly led her back to the house.
The two finally arrived back at the porch they had left from, Courtney's teeth chattering in the cool night air but her face set in grim determination to try to stay warm. At the sight of the terrace she almost broke into a run, the blood pounding in her ears. Jason hung back, trying to clear the hopes from his mind and focus on not focusing on the kiss; knowing she would label it an accident.
Courtney grabbed a pair of sweats from her bag and an oversized sweatshirt, her sense of need to appear primped for Jason flying out the window, at the thought of instant warmth. Closing the door to the bathroom, she let out a shaky breath, her head falling into her hands, I never should have come here, was the only thought she could muster. Her mind was blurry from the freezing cold and the kiss, the one that seemed to burn her skin at the thought. Another kiss in the rain, maybe I'm just doomed to repeat my mistakes, was it a mistake? Her hands shook as she changed, knowing that he was just beyond the door, waiting for an explanation, for why after two years, she decided to practically jump him in the pouring rain. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw the timid woman who stood on a stage and stripped to save A.J., the one Jason had saved from herself. He had given her this life, he had given her so much but the question still remained, am I happy? Shaking away the thoughts, Courtney prepared herself for what awaited beyond the door, for the things she knew would eventually have to be said. Squaring her shoulders she prepared to meet her problems head on, only he was in bed, pretending to be asleep. Toweling the moisture from her hair, she felt a smile tug at her lips, his peaceful expression all too familiar to her.
"You're wearing my sweatshirt" He remarked, amused at the startled expression the comment earned and then the blush that crept into her cheeks.
"I took it when I left it was my favorite to sleep in" She replied, looking down at the simple black pullover.
"I remember, I used to come home and you would be curled on the couch in it" Silence cloaked the room, the memory hanging heavily in the air. Clearing her throat awkwardly, the blonde stepped further into the room, closer to the bed and him. Pulling the covers down she climbed in, the sudden warmth seeping into her 'chilled to the bone' body. They stared up at the ceiling, both wanting to ignore the constant nagging feeling in the pit of their stomachs.
"We kissed" He finally spoke, turning his head sideways to look at her face. Her expression remained blank; her eyes stayed focused on the ceiling, hoping he couldn't see the tears that had begun to fill them, at the thought of what he could say.
"Courtney…"
"I can't do this Jason, I'm cold, and I'm tired, I'm so tired" She whispered brokenly, a tear slipping down her pale cheek. He wiped the moisture away with the pad of his thumb, his palm lingering against her cheek.
"Then sleep, I'll be here when you wake up, I'll always be here" He responded plainly, her head turning so she could look him in the eye. His words embedded in her brain their hidden meaning so plainly obvious and she saw it again, heard it, the love. Courtney took his hand into hers entwining their fingers, and looking back at him before closing her eyes, never severing the connection.
"I don't regret it, I never will," She breathed out, before burrowing deeper into the mattress and settling into sleep. Jason couldn't seem to close his eyes, the image of her on her side body facing him, her hand in his it all seemed too perfect. The engagement ring on her finger caught his attention and all he could do was swallow his anger and return his eyes to her face. The moon began to shine through the clouds, the rain beginning stopping. The window behind the bed, giving the rays a perfect chance to highlight her features, bringing her beauty to life even while she slept, leaving Jason to look on in awe and tighten his grip on her hand. Bringing her hand to his mouth he kissed it, wishing he could see her wedding band glint in the light. Courtney shifted slightly, a necklace falling from beneath her sweater and into his view. The silver band caught his attention instantly; it's familiar engraving surfacing in his head, Mon amour, my love.
Smiling he settled deeper into the bed, watching her sleep, even at a distance, making him peaceful.
Please review!
