Continuity: Random point; references to volume 16 and general Hao-riffic stuff.
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Ties: II
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I remember her, without failing, even as I've only seen her once.
How strange that it should be my third mother who would love me. That she would conspire to kill me and my brother while we readied to flush free of the warm protection of her womb, and to know as I did so that she still loved me. I had expected hate - I've always expected hate; it practically comes stitched to the entire megalomania thing - and was surprised to feel none, even as she planned to lead me to my early doom with her husband and parents.
I am, by nature, an empath, and though I hate the constant knowing (the pressure and pettiness, without end and ever there) of others' emotions, I found some peculiar warmth in hers. She feared us - or rather, me - early in the pregnancy, revulsion as she knew her family's black sheep was reforming himself in her womb. And then, inexplicably, I began to feel love from her.
Shame, as well, and it was even more perplexing to realize it was not shame of my being in her body, feeding from her nutrients, filling with her blood, but shame that she loved me. No regret, no hatred, and even as I took comfort in the completely self-contained twin beside me (like all those who have not lived before, he was not aware of the warmth, the tug and pull of growing life), I found greater pleasure in knowing this unexpected love; she sang softly and rubbed her hand over her belly, speaking with us in quiet tones when she was lonely and oftimes when she was not.
She changed her plans, or at least wanted to change them (vanity insists she wanted *me*, but I digress); and in response, I changed mine. I could have asked the Spirit of Fire to burn her, as well, though it would have killed my brother. Mercy does not come often to me, and it is a rare attribute I care little for: extermination, as of pests, is my favored manner, and I was set to do so.
I spared her. Perhaps I should have killed her, or at least done to her what I had done to that husband of hers, but I didn't. If I had, it might have cleaned the path to power, just a bit, ripples changing the matter of an entire family. I care for my twin, yes, but he is an unheralded nuisance: merciful, kind, completely soft. Though she is strong-willed, she is like him in many ways, as gentle-hearted inside as Yoh.
And it is even stranger, for me, to understand I would not kill her now. It is weakness, I'm sure, but it revulses me somehow inside - as if the thought of killing her (if the chance should present itself, as it surely will eventually) is sickness. Odd, that I can butcher thousands and find it indescribably wrong to think so of her. I cannot explain why; I haven't felt deep affection for over a thousand years (not since my first mother, and...). The second, of the Patch, simply - well, I'm sure the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child" has been repeated often enough, so I'll let that rest.
But this third one, Keiko, meant just as a vehicle to grant me entrance to the world again - she cares, oddly enough. I know she follows my progress as she does Yoh's, and somehow I suspect it is not like her family's following is, that she follows because she still loves. Or perhaps I'm just egotistic, but I doubt that's the case in this particular instance.
I've considered talking to her a handful of times. I want to know why she loves me, when she ought to have (by all logical reckoning) hated me. I *am* the Asakura family's downfall, the great plague that has spread now thrice, an evil and so forth until metaphors and recycled phrases of darkness have faded into senility. Every bit of knowledge and reason declares she should not care for me, much less I her, and yet (foolishly) it is so.
So very strange.
That I care about her, though I have not seen her except for that one time (and she was weeping; I thought from pain of the flesh, but I felt, deeply, the echoes of helpless - hopeless! - love), only came fully into the lgiht recently for me. I had known it, deep inside where I tuck all my rebounding emotions (the ones I cannot curtail and so, frustrated, shunt into hiding that I might ignore and forget their existence).
I've hated for so long, and been hated, that love requited is exhaustibly weighty. I'm not used to it; I wonder if it will make me weak, this loving...
And I don't understand why it is I wish to see her again.
I have a longing at times, a strange, deeply rooted yearning, to see my mother again (Mother, first, most of all, but I feel drawn to Keiko, as well). I want her; not as a child crying for his mother's soothing comfort, and certainly not as a man desperate for a woman's touch, but as a boy who wishes to know he is well in his mother's eyes, even when he does wrong. This is most bemusing to me, the irrational longing for the tie to this third mortal existence.
I am barely shy of immortality, able to reincarnate myself as I so wish again and again, and I want, desperately, to see this mother, a woman I know I should also feel (as I have before) apathy towards if not hate itself, for planning to slay me. And even as I love her, I love another, seeing my first mother born again...
The gods, I think with little wonder, ought to be laughing quite loudly right now.
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Notes: Urm, hope it wasn't too bad...and Hao, surprisingly, wasn't half as bitchy to write as I feared. This has me on edge. Additionally, what with the whole Anna complex recently shown in the manga, this is probably OOC too. Damnit. But remember - this is a Hao-about-Keiko fic, not...eh, I'll eat my spoilers now, don't worry. After I pull my foot out of my mouth.
Feedback: Review and I shall dance for you - I will dance the FILTHY MONKEY DANCE. And you may laugh evilly.
Disclaimer: Takei Hiroyuki, aka Kickass Man, owns all. I merely tapdance his beautifully crafted universe to ruins.
Thanks:
Fluffychans (I hope this is still good work...^^; And I'm writing too many vignettes...)
Crimson Flame (And now I *have* done a Hao one! - That came out a bit more innuendo than I expected...)
Shadow Seeker (*bows* My thanks!)
Kage NoTenshi (I'm working on it, I am! ^^ Hope this was as good as you might've expected)
Sweet Anime Fan (I know...the end of volume sixteen makes me feel deliciously saddened)
Kaori (thanks thanks thanks!! ^_^)
--
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Ties: II
--
-
I remember her, without failing, even as I've only seen her once.
How strange that it should be my third mother who would love me. That she would conspire to kill me and my brother while we readied to flush free of the warm protection of her womb, and to know as I did so that she still loved me. I had expected hate - I've always expected hate; it practically comes stitched to the entire megalomania thing - and was surprised to feel none, even as she planned to lead me to my early doom with her husband and parents.
I am, by nature, an empath, and though I hate the constant knowing (the pressure and pettiness, without end and ever there) of others' emotions, I found some peculiar warmth in hers. She feared us - or rather, me - early in the pregnancy, revulsion as she knew her family's black sheep was reforming himself in her womb. And then, inexplicably, I began to feel love from her.
Shame, as well, and it was even more perplexing to realize it was not shame of my being in her body, feeding from her nutrients, filling with her blood, but shame that she loved me. No regret, no hatred, and even as I took comfort in the completely self-contained twin beside me (like all those who have not lived before, he was not aware of the warmth, the tug and pull of growing life), I found greater pleasure in knowing this unexpected love; she sang softly and rubbed her hand over her belly, speaking with us in quiet tones when she was lonely and oftimes when she was not.
She changed her plans, or at least wanted to change them (vanity insists she wanted *me*, but I digress); and in response, I changed mine. I could have asked the Spirit of Fire to burn her, as well, though it would have killed my brother. Mercy does not come often to me, and it is a rare attribute I care little for: extermination, as of pests, is my favored manner, and I was set to do so.
I spared her. Perhaps I should have killed her, or at least done to her what I had done to that husband of hers, but I didn't. If I had, it might have cleaned the path to power, just a bit, ripples changing the matter of an entire family. I care for my twin, yes, but he is an unheralded nuisance: merciful, kind, completely soft. Though she is strong-willed, she is like him in many ways, as gentle-hearted inside as Yoh.
And it is even stranger, for me, to understand I would not kill her now. It is weakness, I'm sure, but it revulses me somehow inside - as if the thought of killing her (if the chance should present itself, as it surely will eventually) is sickness. Odd, that I can butcher thousands and find it indescribably wrong to think so of her. I cannot explain why; I haven't felt deep affection for over a thousand years (not since my first mother, and...). The second, of the Patch, simply - well, I'm sure the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child" has been repeated often enough, so I'll let that rest.
But this third one, Keiko, meant just as a vehicle to grant me entrance to the world again - she cares, oddly enough. I know she follows my progress as she does Yoh's, and somehow I suspect it is not like her family's following is, that she follows because she still loves. Or perhaps I'm just egotistic, but I doubt that's the case in this particular instance.
I've considered talking to her a handful of times. I want to know why she loves me, when she ought to have (by all logical reckoning) hated me. I *am* the Asakura family's downfall, the great plague that has spread now thrice, an evil and so forth until metaphors and recycled phrases of darkness have faded into senility. Every bit of knowledge and reason declares she should not care for me, much less I her, and yet (foolishly) it is so.
So very strange.
That I care about her, though I have not seen her except for that one time (and she was weeping; I thought from pain of the flesh, but I felt, deeply, the echoes of helpless - hopeless! - love), only came fully into the lgiht recently for me. I had known it, deep inside where I tuck all my rebounding emotions (the ones I cannot curtail and so, frustrated, shunt into hiding that I might ignore and forget their existence).
I've hated for so long, and been hated, that love requited is exhaustibly weighty. I'm not used to it; I wonder if it will make me weak, this loving...
And I don't understand why it is I wish to see her again.
I have a longing at times, a strange, deeply rooted yearning, to see my mother again (Mother, first, most of all, but I feel drawn to Keiko, as well). I want her; not as a child crying for his mother's soothing comfort, and certainly not as a man desperate for a woman's touch, but as a boy who wishes to know he is well in his mother's eyes, even when he does wrong. This is most bemusing to me, the irrational longing for the tie to this third mortal existence.
I am barely shy of immortality, able to reincarnate myself as I so wish again and again, and I want, desperately, to see this mother, a woman I know I should also feel (as I have before) apathy towards if not hate itself, for planning to slay me. And even as I love her, I love another, seeing my first mother born again...
The gods, I think with little wonder, ought to be laughing quite loudly right now.
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Notes: Urm, hope it wasn't too bad...and Hao, surprisingly, wasn't half as bitchy to write as I feared. This has me on edge. Additionally, what with the whole Anna complex recently shown in the manga, this is probably OOC too. Damnit. But remember - this is a Hao-about-Keiko fic, not...eh, I'll eat my spoilers now, don't worry. After I pull my foot out of my mouth.
Feedback: Review and I shall dance for you - I will dance the FILTHY MONKEY DANCE. And you may laugh evilly.
Disclaimer: Takei Hiroyuki, aka Kickass Man, owns all. I merely tapdance his beautifully crafted universe to ruins.
Thanks:
Fluffychans (I hope this is still good work...^^; And I'm writing too many vignettes...)
Crimson Flame (And now I *have* done a Hao one! - That came out a bit more innuendo than I expected...)
Shadow Seeker (*bows* My thanks!)
Kage NoTenshi (I'm working on it, I am! ^^ Hope this was as good as you might've expected)
Sweet Anime Fan (I know...the end of volume sixteen makes me feel deliciously saddened)
Kaori (thanks thanks thanks!! ^_^)
