Hello all! Well a day off from work means a new chapter for you, also since the new HP book is out on Saturday and I'm sure no one will want to read fanfic on those days, and from the spoilers I've heard about the book (all true BTW) I'm wondering if anyone will still write slash fanfics after the new book, I'm just not sure. I am not JK Rowling (if you haven't guessed that already) and I am making no money off of this. I write based on reviews, so review damn it! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please let me know if anyone will still be reading after the new Potter book. Thanks.
Harry's jaw hung open at Snape's open admission. "You were there? For the whole thing?"
Wordlessly he nodded. Taking a sip of his scotch, he sighed. "Draco never betrayed you into the hands of the Death Eaters Harry, I did that."
Harry blinked, unable to do anything else.
"You have to understand the rage that Lucius Malfoy was in when Draco came out and admitted he was in love with you of all people. To say he was livid is to call the Black Plague a minor discomfort. He wanted you destroyed, annihilated and then he was going to eat the little bits of you left for dinner. He was beyond calming, beyond reason, even Voldemort worried about him at the time. Draco was his everything, all his hopes for the future, the one thing he had poured all his immense resources into. He was his heir, charged with carrying on the noble lineage of the Malfoys; he had an arranged marriage all planned, the children, the glorious future in the Death Eaters. Draco rebelled, he refused – an in so doing, the tenuous grip on reality that Lucius Malfoy had snapped. I was charged with capturing you, with letting Lucius into Hogwarts to take you. Rest assured Harry that if I had not, your capture and subsequent…torture would have been much worse." Snape explained to a trembling Harry whose eyes were glazed as memories coursed back.
"How could it have been worse Severus?" Harry snarled. "You were there so you know what they did to me. Did you take part in any of it?"
Snape hesitated. "Some of it."
"Tell me now." Harry demanded.
"No Harry, I won't do that. You can imagine what I had to participate in, you can imagine how I loathed and detested it. When I was with you, you were always somehow healed and feeling better in the end. Understand that I risked much to be able to merely keep you alive. How do you think you came to know the Spell that allowed you escape? I whispered that into your ear during the times between conciousness and unconciousness for you."
Harry's face whitened as he remembered. "You were the one who came to me after Lucius had raped me for the first time."
Snape nodded his assent, drinking more of his scotch.
"You told me to have faith, things would only get better."
"You didn't take it the way I meant it." Snape added.
"Then you proceeded to rape me." Harry spat. "All your sanctimonious preaching and where does it leave you? You still forced yourself on me."
Snape stood up, murderous. "Don't you dare throw accusations like that at me boy! Imagine my horror when I watched you be captured, when I saw the state you were in, when I saw what they were doing for you! I was a double agent with a role to play, and any kind gesture towards you would have been seen as betrayal, I would have been killed and where the hell would that leave you? Still trapped and a plaything of a madman! I managed to get you out!"
"Lucius and Draco were close. Now I know you were there, that still doesn't mean Draco had no hand in it."
"You stubborn fool." Snape sneered. "Look at the truth that is glaring in that insipid face of yours. Draco knew nothing, could know nothing for Lucius had cut off communications with his son. He was only going to talk to him again after you were dead, to punish Draco for ever forgetting his place. At Hogwarts an illusion of you was created so no one would be any the wiser. It was all perfectly planned, and, I never raped you! I let others think I did, I let you think I did, but I do not derive any pleasure in taking unwilling innocents! I might have tortured you in other ways, but I never invaded your body."
Harry stood abruptly, smashing the glass of scotch on the floor. "I've heard enough of your excuses and lies Snape. In the end you betrayed me as surely as Draco did, and for that there is no excuse. You are the only living soul other than me who knows what I went through, and you did nothing. You told no one, and left me alone in that pit, you only gave me the ability to escape after I was broken and there was nothing left to take from me. You are no better than Draco, who bears the Dark Mark on his body."
"Draco never submitted to getting the Dark Mark." Snape said quietly.
"It matters little to me. Everything and everyone I know betrayed me in some way. This is why I live apart from humanity, because I can't stand the hypocrisy of it. I hate the glares, the accusations, the pleading, the questions. I never asked to be who I am and when I couldn't live up to the stereotype that people created in their minds, I was declared a failure. Sod that, I don't need it." He shook his head. "You've said your peace, now leave me alone."
"I am trying to let you understand you fool Gryffindor…!" Snape began, frustrated and furious.
"I understand all too well. Thank you for answering lingering questions Severus. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon. In hell." Harry turned on his heel and headed for the door, preparing to Apparate to his Hollow and not come out again. Damn Hermione and her meddlesome plans!
Severus Snape clenched his fists and counted to ten. Finding it too low a number he continued counting until he reached eight hundred and fifty seven, and then he reached headed towards the fireplace. Bloody stubborn Gryffindors, bloody frigging Harry Potter, bloody sodding Voldemort! Stringing together a chain of four letter words not often heard in polite conversation, he stepped into the flames. "Hogsmeade." He shouted, needing a strong Firewhiskey more than he needed oxygen. He had crapped out, now perhaps Dumbledore could get through to the Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Listen.
Hermione sighed in frustration as she got the owl from Severus at the Three Broomsticks. "It didn't work." She said sadly. "And Harry's angrier than ever."
"What the hell did you expect?" Ron snapped from across the room. "You're dredging up memories he'd rather forget."
"Don't you speak to me in that tone of voice Ronald Weasley or you'll find yourself sleeping on the couch again!"
"Since the living room is my bedroom I find myself unworried by that threat Hermione."
"You are the most…"
"Oh goody, you haven't gone on a tantrum at me in at least an hour." Ron muttered. "I have told you this was a bad and stupid idea from the off, but you refused to listen. Nothing good can come of this, the Trio is broken and if things with us don't soon change, our Duo will be down to One!"
"I won't stop until I get Harry back to the land of the living and him and Draco together as they are meant to be!"
Ron shook his head, disgusted. True he loved his wife, but she was far to manipulative and judgemental for him to like her at this moment.
Draco hunted. Frantically. His time was running out and he knew that Harry would be back soon. Somewhere in this mess, this unmitigated disaster was the answer. He lifted more papers, scanning them rapidly. "What the hell are you doing here?" an infuriated voice demanded from behind him.
Draco closed his eyes and stood up straight, turning to face the semi-angry but certainly livid gaze of his former love. "I am looking for the reason why."
"I'm surprised Hermione never told you." Harry sneered.
"She did, but I'd rather hear it from you." Draco said, surprisingly calm.
"You betrayed me and left me to the hands of the Death Eaters, in the insane hands of your loving Father."
"You're wrong." Draco said with quiet dignity. "I never would have betrayed you Harry. I love you too much for that. My father had disowned me; we were not on speaking terms. I had abandoned everything I had been raised to believe in for you, and in return you slander me with baseless accusations."
"Throughout my stay with the Death Eaters, they told me of you and how gleeful you were to turn me over."
"Oh I wanted to turn you over all right," Draco admitted. "But not in the way you are thinking." He crossed the room and pulled Harry close to him. "I wanted to turn you over like this," he breathed in his ear, pressing himself to Harry's arse. "I wanted to crawl inside you, I wanted be over you, under you, with you any way I could, but I never wanted to torture you…unless it was with pleasure." He drew back his sleeve. "Look at my arm Harry, it is unblemished. If you chose to believe Death Eaters – who lie like rugs I might add – over me, your boyfriend and soon to be lover, that is your choice, and one that makes me sad."
Harry turned slightly, the close proximity to Draco making his breath hitch. "You don't know what they did to me Draco."
"I can guess." Draco replied grimly, forcing his mind to stay on the issue at hand. Harry was also filthy and smelly, he would not even kiss him in this state.
"I seclude myself here not because of that however."
"You abandoned the world because the world abandoned you."
"Very cryptic." Harry mused.
"The demands were too much, when you had to choose who would die and who would live, no one understood that."
"Exactly."
"I did Harry." Draco murmured against a dirty ear. "I understood you, I always have. Do you know what my life is like now?"
"I'm sure I don't care. You are unwanted here and trespassing on private property. Leave now."
"Your mouth says leave, but your body is singing a different tune." Draco smirked. "And since when have I ever done what you asked of me?"
"Go away." Harry said harshly, clenching his hands in fists at his side.
"If I go, I'll be leaving once and for all, washing my hands of you completely. Do you really want that?"
Harry hesitated, and nodded. "I do."
Draco smiled, triumphant. "No you don't. Never forget just how well I know you Harry. Ask Hermione or Blaise where I live. I'll be waiting, but not forever. When you come to your senses and want to tell me the truth, you'll know where to find me."
"Pigs might fly." Harry snorted.
"Goyle does." Draco replied. He leaned in quickly and ghosted his lips across Harry's. "Deny me if you think you can, but our flame has not died. I will find out the truth, mark my words."
As Draco walked out the door, Harry fell to the ground clutching his head. Draco had been in his house, Draco had been close to him. No matter what Harry had told himself over the passing years, no matter what lies, five minutes with Draco had torn all he had come to think and believe to hell.
Cursing vehemently he threw papers across the room as tears rolled down his face. He did not see Draco watching from the window, did not see his pain.
"I'll get you yet Harry." Draco whispered as he watched Harry head for his Still. "I love you."
Albus Dumbledore regarded the situation with amusement, wondering how his former protégé was going to take his unplanned and unwelcome arrival. Hermione had left no stone unturned in her quest to return Harry to society, and his visit was one that would shake the foundations of everything Harry had ever believed in.
