~a/n: This probably should have been chapter two, but I warned you this wasn't going to be in chronological order. As I sit here thoroughly enjoying more CKY music, I pull off another random moment from the twisted love of our two favorite villains. This chapter is the most romantic so far, and thus this is the one I have dedicated to Pat......and I'm only saying this because I'm confident he will never read this.

R i g h t H e r e i n M y A r m s

He heard Esme's soft, content sigh and felt her curl into his arms before he even opened his eyes. "I assume that you husband fell for the whole story?"

"Yup. Damn, he's so gullible that I almost feel bad lying to him. But not enough to go back to the penthouse tonight."

He looked over at her, pleasantly surprised. "You mean you're staying here all night?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Hell yes!" he said, giving her a gentle squeeze. "I'm still terribly fond of you, you know. I missed you all that time you were away with Jerome."

"Don't tell me you were jealous of him," she said, shaking her head, "trust me, honey, if he's your biggest competition you have nothing to worry about. I would much rather be here with you." She laid her head against his chest, and the dark room was quiet for a bit.

"O?"

"Yes baby?"

"After we're done here with those damnable orphans, can we go away somewhere?"

"How do you mean, precious?"

"I want to get out of here, go to a place where no one knows us. Just you and me.....after we get those little brats out of the way we can ditch your theatre troupe. Can we do that?"

"For you, the world." He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "The world."

"Okay. You know, ever since I was a child that was my dream. I was going to make large amounts of money and go live somewhere where no one knew me. I imagined all the exciting people I would meet, and how great everything would be. When I met you, I adjusted the plan for two people."

"Really? When I was little I always thought I was going to turn out to be a writer. I was going to be famous and live in a big house, and spend all my days writing about whatever I wanted. In a way that can only happen in a child's dream, every topic I touched in that world was a best seller. Then came you, and I too adjusted my plan. After that, of course, my writing in that world always involved two people just like us."

"It's funny how dreams can slip through your fingers if you aren't watchful."

He shrugged. "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Or something like that," he added.

She sighed and wrapped her arms tighter around him. "So.....what sneaky stuff should I be watchful of from these little Baudelaire snots?"

"All sorts of raging horrors. That runty infant bites like hell, so I hope she's had her rabies shot. Don't let the bookworm read anything interesting, it'll drive him nuts. The oldest girl, now she's easy to please, but you shouldn't have a hard time making her miserable. Just don't let her tinker with anything. It's rather amusing to watch them when they can't do what they love. Their pain is so funny."

"No biting, no reading, no tinkering. I think I can handle that. I can make them miserable without even letting on that I'm not on their side." A wicked grin slid smoothly across her pretty face. "Methinks the next week will be rather enjoyable."