~a/n: after this chapter I'm gonna have to up the rating on this story. I promise to you this story will be as graphic as I will get, so if the last one made you sick you might want to bail out of this one. As before, dedicated to Pat.

N e a r Y o u A l w a y s

"Oh shit," Esme hissed, throwing the sheet off of her and sitting up. "I'd better get back there before Jerome gets home."

"I have a better idea," Olaf said, sitting up to and holding onto her arm as she stood up. "Stay here."

"I can't," she protested as she shimmied into her underwear. "I have to get back or Jerome will start realizing something's up."

"So? He won't do anything about it. You said so yourself--he's oblivious. So just don't go."

"I have to go, I'm sorry." She found her blouse on the floor and buttoned it once across the chest. "Did you see where my skirt ended up?"

"Somewhere over there," he said, pointing vaguely across the room, "to tell you the truth I didn't care much about its destination earlier."

"Right," she said, scanning the room for her various shed articles of clothing. "How about my bra?"

"Same directions. Maybe that's a hint that you're not meant to go."

"I don't think so," she laughed, snatching her skirt out from under the bed. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"One more thing before you go," he said, rising and crossing the room. He pressed his lips to hers, softly at first but then with an intesnisty that told her quite clearly where he would rather her be.

When he pulled away and smiled down at her, she stared for a second. "You know," she commented, plopping down on the bed, "I could always just tell him that I was having drinks with the girls tonight."

"You have 'girls'? Where was I when this happened?"

"I haven't any." She looked up at him slyly. "But he doesn't know that. You know, he won't fight with me over it. He's a real pansy."

He took her hands and pushed her lightly onto the bed, landing on top of her. "So then it's settled. You're staying here."

They grinned at each other as his long, thin fingers traced lazy circles around her bellybutton.

Esme sighed. "I'm sure Jerome won't notice if I'm gone one more night. If it comes down to that, I'll tell him I went to the spa or something like that."

"Good," he said, kissing the tip of her nose. "I'm liking this plan much better." He smoothed her hair off her forehead.

"O? After we take out the Baudilares and Quagmires, can we go after the Snicket family?"

"Snickets?"

"Yes. You know that as soon as L figures out what we're up to he'll try to avenge his beloved Beatrice." She laid her hand dramatically against her forehead. "I say we go for them."

"Well...that Jaques always was a meddlesome bastard," he agreed. "We'll see how things go after we work with the ones we have, although I have to say it's not a bad plan."

"I wanna be the one to kill Lemony."

"Still pissed about that damn sugar bowl, aren't you?" he shook his head. "I swear, Esme......sometimes I wonder about this unforgiving nature of yours."

"Like you're in any position to lecture me. I think we both know that you're only going after those God-forsaken orphans because you're pissed off at how many times they've gotten the better of you."

"Maybe, " he said, not meeting her eyes.

She undid the one button holding her shirt on. "Well, if I'm staying let's at least make it a good night."

He grinned winningly. "Yes ma'am!"

~a/n2: wow. What the hell has happened to me? I never wrote this sappy before! But then again I was mostly writing JTHM fics then, so my big fan fiction sin was not romance but melodrama. Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen.