Anime Soufflé
Featuring Video Games Too

Day 1, Boys Dorm B:

Slowly all the guys start rising and getting up, then all of a sudden.

All: AHHHH!

The music form Psycho starts playing. They move in closer to see that in Dommon's bed is a full donkey wearing Dommon's red cloak

Rob: I'll be damned, he finally turned into a donkey.

Dommon: Hee-haw!

Link: Ah, don't worry about it, Phoenix said it would wear off.

Ganondorf: Well he said that after Dommon pissed im off once. Who knows how long it'll take now.

Hiei: Well, I for one think it's an improvement.

Dommon: *kicks Hiei*

Kuabara: Well how are we gonna get 'im in the Hummer? Breakfast is in. 10 minutes ago.

Yusuke: Where did you get that watch?

Kuabara: Oh, I grew it.

Link: Watch this. *takes Longshot and makes Dommon bite it, hook attaches to seat inside open Hummer and Dommon the donkey is reeled into the trunk.

Ganondorf: I didn't know you still had your weapons with you!

Link: Really? I didn't either.

Peppy: ffkch hack quqqq kdj

Rob: Hmm, I seem to have forgotten how I treat Peppy when he has one of those attacks, thanks a lot Kuabara.

Kuabara: No problem!

Peppy: Kckfhy fqp!

Yusuke: Oh, shit! I think this is serious.

Bit: Hmm. we're already late, we'll just have to leave him.

Sci: Let's roll!

The Hummer rolls out of the makeshift driveway kicking up sand everywhere.

***

Phoenix: You all are mega-late! Now c'mon eat quick! Today you get whatever you want.

All take their orders.

Ganondorf: And a bag of oats for Dommon.

Rain: *just now noticing Dommon* AHHH! What happened to him?!?!?

Sci: Bro was badmouthin Phoenix bad.

Phoenix: Anyway, today is extreme physical day! After brekkers get out on the beach and I'll explain what you'll be doing today!

***

Phoenix: Okay, we're all here except for Peppy and Van is still in a fetal position.

Fox: What happened to Peppy?

Rob: He had another attack and I forgot what I did for those.

Slippy: You whack him member?

Rob: Oh, hmm, well, I wonder if he's dead yet. *looks at Fox's expression* Heh-heh, just kidding!

Phoenix: Never mind, he's too old for this anyway. As for you, Van, get up, that's enough.

Van: You don't understand.

Fiona: Van, why don't you join your group?

Van: It's- it's him! *points at Bit*

Everyone looks accusingly at Bit.

Bit: WHAT?! Ok, look Van I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pressured you, I understand if-

Phoenix: *coughs loudly* Oh, uh no, I was just coughing, but anyway stop the conversation, Van get over there and listen up. Ok, its gonna work like this, we're gonna have a triathlon, except with more than three events. First, you're gonna sprint down the beach and keep going until you see a river.

Boton: Don't rivers usually flow into the ocean and out of forests?

Phoenix: They do, you're swimming against the current. Anyway, you swim down the river until it ends and you'll get to Mt. Mountain. Then you climb all the way to the top of Mt. Mountain where you'll find a bunch of snowboards, you go down the mountain and at the end of the course you'll reach a very long street, grab a skateboard and go down, by the way the more tricks you pull off the more points you'll get. Finally you'll get to a set of railroad tracks. The trains come down at 1:00, if you get there before one, run down the tracks and pray that you can outrun the trains! Let's see, if you go 58 mph at all times you should be fine. Rules are simple, cheating is aloud, except for getting off the track-

Van: This sounds a wee bit dangerous.

Phoenix: Well duh! You're always at risk here! Now, all line up, and wait for it. Oh and this'll take a while so lunch is whenever you get back, it's a buffet today, so hurry!

Leena: *whispers* I think Phoenix's lost it. *immediately loses arms and legs*

Phoenix: Well, Leena's out now, oh, and if you wanna give up now, go ahead.

Zelda: Oh, I'll give up.

Phoenix: Okay.

Zelda: I'll just casually go over to these bushes, okay?

Phoenix: sure.

Zelda goes into the bushes then Shiek comes out.

Shiek: Excuse me, can I join?

All but Link and Ganondorf: Who are you?

Link: I know who he is, he's-

Shiek glues Link's mouth shut.

Ganondorf: He's Z-

Shiek glues Ganondorf's mouth shut.

Shiek: Heh heh, just testing out my glue, heh heh.

Phoenix: Works for me, sure you can join. Alright everyone line up, now on your marks, get set, Gilligan's island!

Everyone takes a step then go back.

Phoenix: just kidding, on your marks get set. guillotine!

Falco: That's it.

Phoenix: onyourmarkgetsetgo!

Everyone but Falco sprints off.

Falco: Nope, not falling for it, nope- WAIT!!!

Phoenix: *disappears*

In the lead is Hiei, steadily gaining distance from the competition.

Kuabara: Hey! Hiei, your shoes untied!

Hiei keeps running.

Yusuke: Your sister's calling you!

Hiei keeps running.

Kaiko: Watch out for that cow!

Hiei keeps running. CRUNCH!

Cow: MOOO!

Kaiko: *sprints ahead* told ya!

Ganondorf floats ahead of her and Rob follows him on jet packs.

Link pulls out his sword and slashes at his mouth, the glue comes apart, he pulls out his ocarina

Link: ^ ^ (Ocarina notes)

Suddenly, Epona comes out of nowhere and Link jumps on.

Link: I knew you'd find me no matter what! C'mon!

Link pulls out his bow and readies a light arrow, takes aim at Ganondorf and fires.\

Ganondorf: *makes frustrated muffled noises and tries to open mouth*

Link races ahead then throws a couple of bombs at the people behind.

Fox gets out his blaster and fires at Link.

Epona rears up and drops Link then runs away.

Link: Traitor!

Rob speeds ahead of everyone, then Boton catches up on her broom. The two crash together for a little while, then Rob loses control and crashes into the trees.

Boton: I'm winning! I'm winning!

Harry Potter: *zooms up to Boton on Firebolt*

Boton: Who're you?

H. P.: Excuse me ma'am, we need a few beaters for our Quiditch team! I see you fly very well!

Boton: What I can't hear you, the winds too loud!

H.P.: I said, would you like to join our Quiditch- OOF!

Both crash into a tree.

Irivne: HA HA, LOSERS!

Kurama: *takes out rose whip and whips around tree, starts swinging through the trees*

Irvine: Hey that ain't fair!

Kurama: HA HA! HEY!

Jane swings in and grabs Kurama.

Jane: My husband Tarzan got murdered by the monkey mob, but you'll do just fine.

Kurama: Lemme go ya crazy broad!

Irvine: And Irvine the amazing takes the lead again!

Fox: And Fox fills Irvine's ass with lead, I mean lasers. *shoots Irvine in the buttocks*

Irvine: Owy!

Fox: HA HA!

Kuabara: *vaults past with spirit sword lands and jabs Fox in the gut* Don't mess with the best sucka!

Rain: Hey, Kuabara, you're going the wrong way!

Kuabara: Really? Thanks! *turns around and goes back the way he came. Rain darts past him* Gosh that was nice of her, wait a minute.

Rain: OH YEAH!

Dommon: Hee-haw! *kicks Rain and runs ahead*

Rain: URRGH! That traitor.

Krystal: *uses staff rocket boost* See ya jackass!

Krystal is the first to reach the river, she hops in.

Krystal: EWW! My fur, it's so soggy!

Fox: Well I've got no problem.

Rob: Oh God, if I get in I'll short circuit, if I jet pack, someone'll shoot me down.

Shiek: Dives in and takes the lead.

Krystal: Who are you?

Shiek: I am your father.

Meanwhile, Doc is still running along the beach.

Doc: Oh, why did I even go? Jesus. I've already got 5 stitches. *spots giant lobster swimming in ocean* You, yes you, with the claws, I have a proposition.

Meanwhile Puu is ever so steadily flying along.

Moonbay (just now in the water): Oh, why do I bother, hey, maybe this'll still work. *grins evilly*

George: Can't- swim stupid- tights, too tight, urrgh!

Moonbay: Hey Chibodee!

Chibodee: Huh?

Moonbay: *in sexiest voice* Oh Chibodee, I'm such a terrible swimmer, and your so strong, I have a proposition.

Meanwhile.

Brad takes the lead away from Shiek.

Brad: Jeez, I don't even know how I did that.

All of a sudden a large wave takes over everyone.

Doc: Well Brad, you were a good team member.

SNAP! The giant lobster that Doc is riding grabs Brad in its giant pincers and starts squeezing tightly.

Doc: I'll give Bit your last paycheck!

Brad: LET GO! ARGH! CAN'T BREATHE!

The giant lobster paddles away until it reaches the vertical cliff, then it drops Doc off.

Doc: Well, a deal's a deal, we agreed that you could take on of 'em for lunch, thanks!

Lobster: *wiggles antenna in thanks and paddles back to its lair*

Doc: Hmm. now to scale. this. 10,000 foot cliff. where are the harnesses anyway? HEY PHOENIX! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, WHERE"RE THE HARNESSES?!?!

All of a sudden a red and gold phoenix swoops down and lands by Doc, in a whiff of smoke, B.Ph. is standing there.

Phoenix: There aren't any harnesses.

Doc: WHADDYA MEAN?!

Phoenix: Just what I said, better get goin' I think Yusuke's catching up. *turns into Phoenix and stretches out wings*

Doc immediately grabs his tail.

Doc: HA! I'm too clever for ya.

Phoenix looks down then swoops upward at the very top of the cliff, he bursts into flame.

Doc: EE! OO! HOT! *Doc lets go of Phoenix's tail and plummets downwards* CURSE YOUUUUUU!

SPLAT!

Yusuke: HA HA! Thanks Phoenix!

Phoenix: *cackles evilly*

Yusuke starts climbing.

Fox is close by, followed by Irvine, then Shiek.

Shiek takes whatever he used to make those flashes in OoT and throws one at Irvine.

Irvine: Ouch! *loses grip and falls*

***

Meanwhile, Puu is steadily flying along

***

Chibodee crawls out of the water with Moonbay on his back.

Moonbay: Can't you go any faster, we had a deal.

Chibodee: I hardly called THAT back there an effort.

Moonbay: Well it's not my fault how much your underwear stinks.

Rob: Excuse me. *jetpacks past* Well, it took a while to resolve.

Link: And it was the wrong decision! *lets looses a fire arrow*

At the cliff Link simply takes out his Longshot and starts nimbly leaping from rock to rock.

Yusuke is still climbing with Fox following.

Yusuke: I've got to lose him, *points finger at Fox*

Fox: *takes out blaster*

Yusuke: SPIRIT GUN!

Fox: BLASTER! attack-thing um.

The two blasts of light collide in midair and create an explosion blasting out a lot of the rock. Link simply Longshots past it.

Ganondorf: *climbs up to where Fox and Yusuke are* That's a hell of a hole

Fox: Very good, genius, now HOW DO WE GET PAST THE THING!?!?

Yusuke: I hate to say to but we'll have to work together.

Ganondorf: Oh no, not that!

Fox: Get over it, we'll form a chain, I'm lightest, so you two swing me past the hole and then I'll pull you up.

Ganondorf and Yusuke: DEAL!

So they form a chain and Ganondorf swings it around, Fox grabs onto the rock.

Fox: HA! Do you really think I'd be so generous! *tries to throw Yusuke back*

Yusuke: *Pulls Fox down*

Fox: Hey, I was just kidding! * pulls the other two up*

Ganondorf: Good job! *kicks Fox down* That's for being a little Benedict Arnold!

Ganondorf and Yusuke continue climbing while Fox dangles at the edge.

Chibodee is climbing up with extreme difficulty.

Moonbay: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STRONG!

Chibodee: And you're supposed to be able to give me a decent blowjob!

Argo: Eww. god, I'm supposed to be a big jock, I just can't feel the force!

Obi-wan: Argo! Believe! Believe in yourself!

Argo: Master! It's no good.

Obi-wan: Use the speed Argo, use the speed!

Argo: I don't do drugs!

Obi-wan: Do you want to win?

Argo: Ah, what the hell.

Suddenly Argo sprints ahead and scales the cliff.

Slippy: Dear God, that was random.

Bit: (thinking to self) Gosh, Argo sure does look hot climbing the cliff.

Fiona: Bit, why do you like men?

Bit: Well. umm. gosh, geez I really don't know. I didn't before, guess it makes the story funny, adds a bit of gay bashing.

Fiona: It's not exactly normal is it?

Bit: You know it really isn't.

Fiona: Oh goodie, NOW GET OVER HERE!

Bit: FIONA! You can't do this mid-race!

Fiona: Who said I was doing anything? *puts gun to Bit's head* I just though I'd take a leaf out of Moonbay's book, but I ain't no whore so get going!

***

Meanwhile Puu is steadily flying along

***

All of a sudden a dark dragon bursts through and demolishes a good bit of everything. Hiei sprints past it, full demon.

Hiei: You thought I was through!?!

Kaiko: But the cow! I was sure it would stop you.

Hiei pulls out a big hamburger and takes a bite.

All else: *gasp*

Shiek, Link, Argo, Moonbay and Chibodee, Ganondorf, Yusuke, Fiona and Bit just make it over the top before the dragon bursts apart the cliff. Hiei somehow dashes out of the rubble towards them.

Fiona: Thanks for the ride Bit! *grabs him and tosses him over the cliff*

Moonbay: Nice one girl! *throws Chibodee down too*

Ganondorf and Link: Shiek, you're cheating! We're gonna reveal your identity.

Shiek: Well that's not too bad.

Link: Then throw you down the cliff. *the two carry out their threat*

Hiei: *jabs Yusuke and sends him over the cliff as well*

The remaining six enter a snowy region.

Hiei: This seems too familiar.

All of them sprint over to where there are a bunch of snowboards.

Hiei grabs a black one, Link takes a green, Fiona goes for a pink, Moonbay grabs an orange, Argo takes a dark green, and Ganondorf gets a blood red. All six run up to a large platform, attach their snowboards and jump into a sixty foot plunge, each lands nimbly on the snow and starts the way down.

Fiona spots a rail and goes for a backside grind. Ganondorf uses his floating ability to pull off some mega tricks.

Moonbay: That's not fair!

Link hacks at Ganondorf with his sword and the two start an intense fight why'll still on their snowboards.

Hiei pulls ahead.

Argo pulls up to Hiei, grabs him by the next and flings him upwards.

Hiei: Bastard!

Hiei draws his sword, aims and throws it at Argo, it barely pierces the sin on his nose and the tiniest trickle of blood starts dripping.

Argo: OW! MY NOSE! I okay, if you're gonna play like that, I quit! *sits down and starts nurturing nose*

Fiona finally leaves the pipe and gracefully performs a 720.

Hiei: Impressive.

Fiona: Thanks! I work out.

Link takes the lead.

Link: Later!

Moonbay picks up speed and catches up with Link.

Moonbay: Hey Link!

Link: Forget it, you won't seduce me.

Later.

Link: Heh heh. heh heh. I haven't felt so horny since-

Moonbay: Pervert.

Ganondorf: How's it his fault, you flashed him.

Moonbay and Ganondorf are neck and neck.

***

Puu finally reaches the top of the demolished cliff and grabs a blue snowboard

***

Finally Moonbay and Ganondorf reach the end and unfasten their snowboards, the two run into the newly paved street.

Next is Hiei, followed by Fiona. Link hit a tree a long time ago.

Moonbay and Ganondorf pick out skateboards, meanwhile Hiei takes the lead.

Eventually all four are on the street.

Ganondorf starts floating and pulls off a few Christ-airs, kick-flips etc.

Hiei temporarily stalls along one of the quarter pipe ramps bordering the street.

Fiona tries to turn a 180 but can't manage.

Fiona: This is so much harder than snowboarding!

Moonbay: See ya sista!

Moonbay finally succeeds in a No Comply.

Ganondorf is still pulling off massive tricks. Hiei starts getting angry, he somehow or another recovers his sword and trips Ganondorf.

Eventually, Hiei leads with Moonbay close behind and Ganondorf just a little ways back. Fiona is still way way back somewhere.

Fiona: Oh! It's no fair, what was that? PUU?!?!

Puu speeds past Fiona in a blur.

The three arrive at a railroad crossing, each abandons his skateboard and gets on a set of tracks. They start running. Fiona pulls up to the track, she prepares to step on when, WHOOSH! The train speed past.

Puu flies overhead and grabs a set of tracks where he hovers just a few feet off the ground racing the train. He catches up with the other three.

Moonbay: I can't believe I've gotten this far, I'm so close, now I can get through ANYTHING! Except for another session with Chibodee *shivers*

Ganondorf looks behind, then his eyes almost pop out of his sockets as he picks up speed trying to get away from the engine trying to squash him flat.

Hiei: PUU! What are you doing here?

Puu says nothing but looks very determined.

Ganondorf: Oh no! Cramp! I can't do it- WAHH! *the train on his tracks catches up with him and squashes him flat.

Moonbay: EEEK!

Hiei: Get over it!

Moonbay sprints as hard as she can but the blue Union Pacific engine eventually catches her. A splattering sound can be heard.

Hiei: (to self) I can do this, I'm the only decent athlete left! I can beat Puu! (aloud) OH YEAH! I CAN WIN THIS!

Suddenly with a screech the trains start coming to a stop.

Hiei: THE FINISH! IT'S STRAIGHT AHEAD! HA HA!

Puu puts on a burst of speed, then in a cloud of dust the two cross.

Hiei: Who won? Well???

Behind them Phoenix gets out of the train that ran Moonbay over.

Phoenix: What a lovely time!

Hiei: That was you!

Phoenix: Of course, an opportunity like this? You know I wouldn't pass up the chance of fist degree murder!

Hiei: Actually I don't, but who won.

Phoenix: Well, Puu got second-

Hiei: YES! HA HA!

Phoenix: And you got third.

Hiei: WHAT?!

Kuabara walks out.

Kuabara: Hey, what kept ya?

Hiei: WHAT?!?! The buffoon went the wrong way as soon as the race started!

Phoenix: If you'll use your eyes, you'll see that the end of the course is where you started, the track is a giant circle. I said that you can't leave the track, I never said that it was illegal to go the wrong way.

Kuabara: Guess I win! HA HA HA!

Hiei: *jaw drops* You little-

Phoenix: ah, ah, ah.

Hiei: *shuts mouth, spits on ground and walks away*

Phoenix: Hey look at Puu, he's being a wonderful sport.

Puu: Puu!

Kuabara: Ah, thanks Puu!

Phoenix: Y'all can get some grub if ya wanna, it's only 2:00 by the time I round up the rest, it'll be 4:30 or so, we'll have an early dinner then.

***

4:30, Mess hall:

Phoenix: I'm proud of you people! Casualties were amazingly low. Let's see. Moonbay was run over, so was Ganondorf, Brad was eaten by a Lobster and I threw Doc down a plunge of 10,000 feet. Though, Chibodee, Bit, Yusuke, and Zelda experienced the same sensation, they survived. I guess they're just special. I think we should have a moment of remembrance. okay moment over, dig in! Tonight for dinner we have something special! Some of you may wonder why this was called anime soufflé, well here's the reason!

Soufflés appear everywhere.

***

After everyone's full to bursting.

Phoenix: Pretty good huh? Well, the key ingredients are the ground up corpses of today's casualties! Well. except for Brad, it was only fair to let the giant lobster eat him.

Everyone just stares.

Phoenix: Well, I'm pleased at how well everyone's taking this!

Van: Taking what?

Phoenix: The soufflés, I was serious.

All of a sudden the entire hall bursts out in retching noises.

Leena: *coughs up something and looks at it* AHHH! *looks at partially chewed up fingernail and faints*

Phoenix: WHAT?! It tasted good right? God, you people have no gut! You can stomach a little flesh!

Everyone is still making retching noises and coughing up body parts.

Phoenix: Get over it already!

Later.

Phoenix: Well now that everyone is as empty as they were before, I'll announce the point standings! Currently in first is Kuabara with 200 for winning the race. Puu is second with 150 for getting second today. In third is Hiei with 135. With 100 for 3rd place and 35 for pulling off enough decent tricks. Then we have Sci-scici with his 25, Fiona with 15 for pulling off a few tricks. And Argo has 1 for a tiny bunny hop during the snowboarding.

Argo: Uh. I think that was an accident.

Phoenix: Do you want the points or not? Looks like the rest of you still only have 0. Now it's 5:00, if I'm correct, we have a duel on the beach at 5:15. Since we had such an early dinner, I think. THAT THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GETTING!! See ya in fifteen. Jamie, Puu, come with me.

The crowd disperses out of the hall.

Bit: So, who do your bets go on?

Fox: Puu, for sure.

Bit: Yeah, Jamie's such a wimp.

***

Fifteen uneventful minutes later. The group is sitting in a giant stadium surrounding a large hole, with giant TVs on either side. Suddenly Phoenix runs out into the open clutching a microphone.

Phoenix: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Sand arena, made entirely of sand. *suddenly Argo falls right through the chair he's sitting in* As. was very well illustrated just then. Now today we have the champion Puu versus the challenger, Jamie. Fell free to place wagers at any time. Now, I give you PUU!!!

Amidst huge applause, a door opens on one side of the stadium and Puu flies out wearing a large cloak, on either side of him every girl is standing in a bikini hailing Puu.

Phoenix: And on the other side of the stadium I give you *stifles a yawn* Jamie.

Everyone starts booing and throwing stuff at Jamie who quickly gives everyone double middle fingers. Both competitors step up to the hole. Metal planks jut out of the sides carrying the two to the middle, the planks connect and form a bridge.

Phoenix: The two will fight over the large pit, it's kinda like on American Gladiators, except they won't be using giant cotton swabs, this is hand to hand combat! Now, wait for the whistle. *puts whistle to mouth and blows, crowd roars as the fight starts*

Jamie immediately rushes Puu who nimbly flies into the air and nails Jamie with a drop kick. Jamie turns around and tries to crescent kick Puu who in turn jumps up and starts brutally pinching Jamie in the face. Then he kicks him downwards, flies up and body slams Jamie.

Phoenix: Oh, bloody! Puu shows no mercy, he must be pissed like hell!

Puu grabs Jamie's leg and starts bending it backwards. Jamie recovers and shakes Puu off. Puu flies to the other side of the bridge but lands on his feet. Jamie immediately rushes towards Puu and dives on top of him.

Girls: PUU!!

Puu is invisible under Jamie, then in an amazing surge of strength, Puu lifts Jamie up and flies over the bridge. Higher, higher, higher, until Puu changes direction and dive-bombs the bridge, 20 feet above he throws Jamie down and goes back up, then zooms towards Jamie. All is obscured by the sand that Puu kicks up. Puu walks away leaving Jamie in a bloody heap, then Jamie staggers up and grabs Puu, he lifts him up and throws him down into the pit, but Puu recovers before hitting the ground and flies back up, right as he gets on the bridge, Jamie's fist makes contact with Puu's face.

All: *gasp*

The giant TVs replay the scene over and over again.

Phoenix: Oh, my God! Is it over? Is it all over? Will Puu really lose.

Then, weakly, Puu staggers to his feet, blood dripping down his beak. Puu dramatically wipes it off. Then immediately propels himself towards Jamie and delivers a kick right in the stomach.

Puu: PUUUUUU!!!!!

Puu starts kicking and punching Jamie even harder.

Puu: PUUUU!!!!! PUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!! PUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

With a final uppercut, Jamie is sent flying into the air, Puu races upwards and punches Jamie down to the ground. After a few minutes Jamie staggers up breathing very hard. Puu nails him a few more times until Jamie reaches the edge of the bridge.

Puu: Puu! Puu-puu puu, puu puu puu! Puu.

Puu hits Jamie in the gut and Jamie plummets to the bottom of the pit.

Jamie: PUUUUUUUUU!!!!! I'll be baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!

Phoenix: And the fight is over! The champion is Puu! I believe the majority of you made good money just then. Well done Puu!

Puu: Puu!

Slippy is sitting outside the pit with a fishing rod.

Slippy: Hey guys, I got one!

Guys of Boys dorm A: Alright!! *all help Slippy pull*

Slippy: We'll be eatin good tonight! Oh, wait never mind, it's only Jamie.

Fox: Hey, Jamie, nice job, even though you got creamed like hell, ya made me thirty bucks! Ha ha!

Jamie: *stares daggers at Fox and walks away*

Eventually everyone goes back to their dorms.

***

Later, in Dorm B:

All walk in, then psycho music starts playing again. Rob goes to the ceiling, pulls down trap, door, and socks the keyboard player, psycho music stops.

Bit: *gasp*

Rob: OH NO! *runs over to Peppy* Breathe! Breathe! *starts whacking Peppy* Live, damn you, LIVE!!! NOOOO! We've lost him.

Bit: Chill out there was nothing you could do.

Dommon: *now fully human* What are we gonna do?

Rob: We can't let Fox know! Peppy was like a father figure for Fox, even though he was mental. FOX'LL KILL ME!

Yusuke: We'll stash im in the closet!

All else: Right!

Kuabara: Say, kid, will ya quit hiding behind me, it's disturbing.

Van: NO! I'm scared!

Dommon: Bit already promised that he wouldn't hurt you, don't worry about it. *grits teeth* RIGHT BIT?

Bit: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, just don't kill me!

Van: You don't understand! I have terrible memories of my childhood.

Rob: Ya wanna tell us about it?

Later.

Van: *lying on bunk* So anyway, that's when he said we'll play a game.

All else are yawning and playing cards, Rob is sitting with clipboard pretending to be writing notes.

Rob: Uh-huh. *adds finishing touch to picture of R2-D2*

Van: So then anyway. are you getting this?

Rob: Sure.

An hour later.

Van: So that's about half of it, now let's see, then.

Rob: Okay, you're doomed for life because you were raped as a child, we all know, don't worry, Bit won't harm you, and I seriously recommend that you watch fewer soaps. Now go play outside or somethin.

Van: Uh, okay *goes outside*

Rob: *in frustration* The kid's like a freakin broken record, I just know he's dying to tell us his entire life memories. we have to stop him!

Yusuke: I've got an idea, he'll be kept busy and be useful to us!

Later

Dommon: Okay, Van-

Van: Wait, I wanna tell you about the time I-

Dommon: Tell us when you get back, now here's the list go out and find the items and don't come back till you do, okay?

Van: Okay! *to self* let's see first, item, full color glossy of nude Christina Aguilera, WHERE AM I GONNA FIND THAT? Oh well, second item, fifty pounds or more of marijuana? Hmm.

Hiei: Yusuke, you're a genius!

Yusuke: Tell me about it.

Meanwhile in Boys dorm A.

Irvine: Say, George, uh what's wrong with Fox.

George: Well, he played Star Fox adventures on one of those Gamecubes that we got with this dorm, and he's kinda in shock.

Fox: I just don't get it!! How is it that I just controlled myself?!?! I just made my own self do stuff. AND WICH ONE IS THE REAL ME!

Falco: Chill out, me and Slippy, me can accept it.

Slippy meanwhile is trying to hang himself from his bunk.

Chibodee: Slippy, that's not a good idea, c'mere, let's talk about it and find an alternate solution.

Falco: Uh, anyway.

Fox: Cannot. take. head, going to explode.

Argo: Hey, hey, hey! Check it out, we got satellite, 47,356 channels! Including Playboy, Frog Playboy, Fox playboy, Playboy bird of prey Channel, and even Half-human half Fox Demon Playboy! And there's Senior +80 Playboy. Ew, never mind. Okay, take your pick.

Later

George: How long 'till lights out.

Falco: Fifteen minutes ago.

George: Oh, good just enough time.

Irvine: So, what do we do tonight.

Puu: Puu!

Kurama: Puu has an idea!

Falco: How'd you get here?

Kurama: I'd rather not relive my experience.

Puu: Puu! Puu-puu puu puu!

Chibodee: Get drunk silly? Go around singing old college songs? Sounds like a time to me!

Slippy: Too bad we ain't got no booze.

Suddenly Puu flies out and flies back in carrying plenty of bottles.

All else: Alright Puu!

Irvine: Hey, Jamie, you comin?

Jamie: Leave me alone.

Argo: Welp, that's your call, later.

Approx. 2:00 a.m.:

All: *drunkenly walking back to dorm* Good night ladieees! (hiccup) It's time to say goodnight!

Girls dorm:

Leena: Will, they, ever, SHUT UP!?!?!

Kaiko: Well, except for Puu of course!

All else: Murmur in agreement.

Zelda: Should we scare the hell outta them like last night.

Allenby: No, I say we kill em off fair and square.

Boton: With what?

Rain: Bare hands?

Leena: Okay, if we can find some rope, I might have an idea.

Fiona: You realize that they've already stopped?

Leena: So? Don't be such a spoiled sport, we'll kill 'em anyway, that's nine less people who'll pose a threat to one of us.

Fiona: I guess so.

Leena: Anyway, so we'll need.

Meanwhile back in Boys A:

Everyone but Jamie has fallen asleep destined to have the worst hangover of their lives tomorrow.

Jamie: Hmmph! That Puu, he thinks he's so cool, I can't believe that I lost to him! I'll show him, I'll show them all! *formulates quick plan and goes over to Puu*

Puu slowly wakes up with the sense that there's someone over him. He opens his eyes to see a gun sticking in his forehead.

Jamie: Don't move or I'll blow your brain out of that stupid blue head! *quickly ties up Puu* We're gonna take a little trip.

Meanwhile in the girl's cabin.

Leena: okay, it' done, tomorrow morning the first one that walks out'll get it!

All: Snigger devilishly.

***

And then, well I'd tell you what happens, but YOU SUCK so I won't tell you! No, uh, just kidding, but wait for the next chapter, if anyone's reading this that is. Hellooooooo????