Anime Souffle!
Featuring Video Games Too.

I have two reviewers!!!!!! Thanks to Raven and SilentVampireLover, you two rock!!!! Note: Didn't bother to spell check this, so there's probably gonna be a few mistakes.

***

Dawn of the second Day. wait a minute. never mind.

Skull kid: HOW DARE YOU?!

Phoenix: *take out bazooka* DIE BASTARD! *shoots skull kid*

***

Ok then. Boys dorm A:

Irvine: *wakes up* Hey people, what's- AHHH!

Fox: WHAT!? ARE WE UNDER ATTACK?! MAN THE-

Irvine: NO! It's worse. Puu's gone. Oh and Jamie's also disappeared, but PUU'S GONE!

Chibodee: I'll get Phoenix! *walks outside*

Out in the bushes.

Leena: Alright girls, here it is.

Chibodee walks out as an axe swings from a tree.

Chibodee: SWEET! A nickel! *ducks and picks up nickel right as axe swings by* Oh, look I'm standing in mud *steps to the side right as twenty spears hit the wall behind where he was just standing.* OH! Honeysuckle, I'm kinda hungry. *eats honeysuckle whole* HELP! I'm choking! I can't breath! *Suddenly, nerve gas sprays right into his face*

Allenby: WHAT?!

Chibodee: *cough, splutter, splutter* *gets out of gas cloud* Woah! That was too close! Oh look at that tree, I haven't climbed a tree in forever! *climbs tree right as one thousand buffalo stampede past, right below the tree* Well, that was certainly an uneventful day.

Krystal: YOU SAID IT WAS FOOL-PROOF!

Leena: Imagine the chances of that?

Chobodee: Now what was I gonna do? OH YEAH! PHOENIX! PHOENIX, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?

Red and gold phoenix swoops down and in a burst of smoke, Phoenix is standing there.

Phoenix: What's up?

Chibodee: It's horrible! Puu's disappeared, and umm. I think that's all that's important. oh and Jamie's gone too, but more importantly. PUU'S GONE!

Phoenix: He might be out on a morning flight.

Chibodee: Nah, he woulda left us a note or something.

Phoenix: Well let's go.

In dorm A:

Phoenix: And you have no clues at all?!?!

Irvine: Well, we found this letter, but we doubt it'll help.

Letter:

To whoever finds this. I have taken Puu and am on the highest peak of Mt. Mountain. Come there ASAP, bring no weapons and Phoenix must disarm his author powers. If you don't arrive by 12:00, Puu gets it.
-Jamie

Phoenix: No clues eh?

Irvine: Nope.

Phoenix: Well, I think I have a hunch anyway, follow me.

***

Dorm B:

Yusuke: Van?! Where did you find all this stuff?!?!?

Van is sound asleep.

Van: Huh? What? Oh uh, it kinda took awhile.

Link: *in Butthead voice* Huh huh, huh huh.

Sci: Great job bro!

Phoenix suddenly appears.

Phoenix: C'MON PEOPLE! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! Where'd you get all that stuff?!?!

Bit: We found it.

Phoenix: I'll have to confiscate it for. special purposes. Now c'mon! I'll do a multi-disappear move.

All disappear.

All reappear at the bottom of Mt. Mountain, the rest are already there.

Kaiko: What's this all about?

Slippy: Jamie's taken Puu hostage!!!

Kaiko: No way!

Phoenix: Yes way, and worse, if I don't disarm my powers, he'll kill Puu!

Hiei: Instead of disarming them now, just use them to disappear Puu back to us.

Phoenix: I can't.

Hiei: Because, why?

Phoenix: Because my real world counterpart won't let me.

Fox: What?

Phoenix: The thing is, this isn't real to him, he says. Even if Puu dies, this is just a fanfic. Puu won't really be dead.

Fox: WHAT?!?!?

Phoenix: Never mind, I can't, we'll just leave it at that, now let's go, there's not much time left.

So everyone starts the ascent up Mt. Mountain.

About an hour later, at the top.

All walk up to a giant snowfort.

Phoenix: Okay, we're here, what are your terms?

Jamie sticks his head over the barrier.

Jamie: EMPTY YOUR POCKETS! *all else empty pockets* Good, good, Phoenix, have you disarmed your powers.

Phoenix: yes.

Jamie: Prove it!

Phoenix: If my powers were armed, I'd get Puu right now.

Jamie: Okay then.

Kaiko: Let's see Puu!

Jamie: Oh, ya wanna see your little friend, eh? *Jamie takes Puu, who's still bound in rope and holds pistol to his head*

Phoenix: Where'd you get that gun?

Jamie: Fiona dropped it yesterday, during the race.

All glare daggers at Fiona.

Fiona: WHAT?!

Phoenix: Anyway, the problem is, that's only a six-shooter, so even if you fired perfectly, you'd only get six of us, then we'd wait till your fort melted and overpower you.

Jamie: I'm glad you noticed that! *throws snowball at Bit*

Bit: OW! *clutches eye* Sooooo cold, soooo cold!

Jamie: *foaming at mouth* AND THERE'S 499,999 MORE!

Phoenix: Is that what you spent all night doing?! You really have no life.

Jamie throws snowball at Phoenix, who sidesteps it.

Phoenix: Okay, we'll skip that part. What are your terms?

Jamie: I want you to use your powers to give me better powers! THEN I CAN GRANT MY OWN WISHES!

Phoenix: Two problems. One, how can I do that if my own powers are disabled, second, I can't make yours better than mine!

Jamie: I've learned the truth, this is a fanfiction!

Fox: AHHH! I thought the torment would end! Not only am I a simple video game character controlled by video geeks, now I'm a character used by an individual party for a fanfiction site without any copyright infringement! Will I ever control my own destiny!!!

Jamie: I know, who's writing this! I want to go to the real world. I want to really live.

Phoenix: Woah, this is way too much like the Matrix.

Jamie: YOU! BLOODY PHOENIX IN REAL WORLD!

Self (aka disembodied voice from the heavens): Yes.

Jamie: I want you to grant me powers! Then I can go to the real world! *suddenly the sky goes all dark and stuff*

Self: Wouldn't it be faster, if I just sent you to the real world?

Jamie: Well, actually I just want the powers so that I could kill all these people.

Phoenix: You can't kill me, I don't exactly exist, *in possessed voice*I am but a shadow of the real me.

Fox: TOO MUCH INFORMATION! *head swells and blows up*

Krystal: Yuk, now I'm covered in brain guts.

Self: Listen, I'm not gonna send you to the real world, I can't for one thing.

Jamie: But, I thought you had powers.

Self: OH! Now I get it, you're a bit confused, see, I don't have powers in the real world, but my shadow which I created has powers in the Matrix, er, Fanfic. I also have powers in the Mat- Fanfic. Oh, for God's sake we'll call it the Matrix-ish Fanfic. I channel them through the computer. You see, however, I suppose you could get to the Real World if you were able to find a way to override the Word Processor and turn your name into a living entity. Thus you need to rethink your demands. *to the reader* Okay, if you're seeing spots yet, go and lie down, okay? I know it's confusing. I barely understand the plot myself. *to Jamie* It simply sums down to a matter of reality and fantasy. You only seems alive to yourself. You see, with the typing of this fanfiction -whose purpose is to entertain readers with the continued use of characters used within animes and video games after and/or outside of the plot line- I bring about a temporary world, a Matrix-ish Fanfiction. In which you believe that it's the real world. However, in reality you are nothing but words. I don't think you'll be able to break the barrier between fantasy and reality any time soon, no matter how many powers anyone has within the fanfic. It might be more of a technical question of re-writing programming for the word processor.

Fiona: Dear God, it's the apocalypse!

Self: No, it's simply the fact that you can't comprehend your destiny, just take comfort in the idea that you don't exist and that everything you're doing is being controlled by a higher entity. Though in reality I am in no way special. Think of me a s a god for a people who don't exist. Now, you know what, I don't like this plot, let's switch it around, give me a moment of my time, which isn't your time, to think of a better storyline.

Bit: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! Can't you see we can't take it?!?!? *eyes roll into head. Brain swells. Head blows up*

Several more people's head's blow up.

Self: Yeah, that's better. Mr. Jones? Mr. Smith.

Female supporting vocalists: Here come the men in black!

J and K put on the glasses and take out the neuralizers

J: Alright now, a big smile for the camera.

FLASH!

Jamie: My terms are that you give me (1) Respect. (2) That Puu leaves the island. (3) That I get to take over your roll in this game and (4) 5 Billion dollars!

Phoenix: I like it how you made those (1) etc. things so clear.

Jamie: Enough small talk, do you accept my terms?

Phoenix: Group huddle!

Inside circle:

Kuabara: What're we gonna do.

Phoenix: Well, I can give him (2) and (4), (1) is up to you people and (3) just won't work.

Fox: I have an idea. We'll storm, the fort and pray for the best.

Phoenix: WE CAN'T RISK THAT!

Jamie: I'll fire in 20 seconds.

Phoenix: Now we can risk that. CHARGGGGGGGE!

In a hail of snowballs, the entire group charges the fort.

In slow motion the camera perfectly captures how Leena is nailed with a snowball.

Dommon: LEENAAA!

Leena: No, Dommon, leave me. Go on.

Dommon: *tears flying* I WON'T LET IT END LIKE THIS!

Leena: Dommon, save Puu.

Dommon: Hit it, Avril.

"I'm with you" starts playing form nowhere.

Dommon and Leena passionately kiss.

Rain: Ah-hem!

Dommon: Gazundheit.

Rain: It's a freakin snowball! URRGH! *slaps Dommon* I can't believe this! HMMPH!

Jamie continues flinging snowballs.

Jamie: YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME!

Irvine: There's the wall, ha it's only snow! *crashes into it and slides down in bloody heap*

Phoenix: Okay, now, I'd like to know how he did that.

Fox: Quick, human tower!

All people who haven't gotten nailed by a snowball form a tower, Fox, who's at the top pulls everybody over.

Jamie: HOW?! WHAT?! *towards highest tower and goes inside*

Phoenix: He's going into the highest tower.

Fox: C'mon!

Fox leads the way up the amazingly generic spiral staircase. All enter top room.

Phoenix: Boy, I gotta hand it to you, Jamie, this is an amazing fort!

Jamie: SHUT UP! *points gun at Puu* NOT A STEP CLOSER, ya here me?!

Boton: Can we negotiate?

Jamie: *fires at Boton* HELL NO! You're time for bargaining is up.

Falco: BOTON! UURGH! YOU BASTARDDDDD! *runs at Jamie*

Then everything turns into slow motion.

BANG!

Phoenix: Is that the best sound effect you have?!?!

Self: Yes.

The smoke clears. Fox is standing between Jamie and Puu. Jamie fires at Fox four more times, Fox crumples to the ground.

Krystal: FO- Ah, who cares, I'm with Falco now.

Phoenix runs up and grabs Jamie by the back of the hair and starts bashing his head into the wall.

Phoenix: I said, where's the diamond?!?!

Jamie: I dunno what you're talking about!

Phoenix: A likely story!

Rob: Whoa, whoa, wrong cop flick sequence, pal, try this.

Goes up to Jamie and sits him in chair.

Rob: WHERE'S THE MAYOR?!?! *slaps Jamie*

Allenby: No, no, no, it's this one.

Later.

Phoenix: So we agree, this is the sequence where we handcuff 'im and give im his rights.

All else: Right.

Phoenix: *to bloody heap, previously Jamie* Alright, you're comin' with us! Someone get Fox.

Allenby: Gosh, we forgot all about him! We were supposed to be mourning then revengeful.

Phoenix: Ah, no one reads the scripts anymore. Someone get Puu, he's been in a ruff ordeal. And get Boton. Boton, get over it, it was just a cap gun.

All: WHAT?!

Outside the fort, various people are lying on the ground. Dommon and Leena are doin' somethin' freaky.

Phoenix: Oh, God, no, no, no, not here, not here.

Later, in a big courtroom.

Phoenix: Fox, stop pretending, you're fine. And you two *points to Leena and Dommon* quit doing that, two hours straight is long enough.

Dommon: Party-pooper *turns into pig this time*

Irvine: Alright, court is now in order, the honorable judge, Bloody Phoenix presiding.

Phoenix: Thank you bailiff, the prosecutor Bit Cloud will. prosecute.

Bit: I speak for my client when I say how deeply disgusted I am with the behavior of Jamie Heimeros!

Jamie: Yo, Krystal, aren't you gonna object?

Krystal: *filing nails* Huh what, oh, no, not really.

Bit: As I was saying, this criminal, is clearly a dangerous maniac!

Phoenix: I see.

Jamie: Hey, look, you gave me the crap about "if you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided for you" and all, but I don't think my attorney is doing a good job of defending me.

Krystal is brushing her fur.

Phoenix: Ms. Krystal, do you believe you're doing a bad job of defending the defense?

Krystal: Yes your honor.

Phoenix: Well, that proves it. How does the defense plead?

Jamie: Uh. innocent.

All but Phoenix, Irvine and lawyers (in other words the jury): BOO!

Phoenix: Mr. Cloud, how do you answer?

Bit: What does Jamie think he is?

Phoenix: 200 dollars, pick again.

Bit: Exotic Cheeses for 500.

Phoenix: The stench of this cheese- wait a minute. Oh well, take your two hundred and proceed with the case.

Bit: Well, my client, Puu, has informed me, that Mr. Heimeros had kidnapped him late in the night and had attempted murder later the next day.

Phoenix: Very well, call up your witness.

Bit: Puu would like to call up, Fox McCloud!

Fox: Hi, umm. well, see it was like this, we woke up and Irvine noticed that Puu was gone, so anyway, a while later, Phoenix somehow miraculously deduced that Jamie had kidnapped Puu, though none of us realize how. Later on, we were at this really big snow fort and it was cool and stuff. So we got up there and then I sacrificed myself for Puu, then I realized it was a cap gun. Uh, that's how I remember it.

Phoenix: Very well.

Bit: wait a minute, ya know yesterday when Fiona threatened me with that gun? I like, really didn't have to listen to her right?

Phoenix: Well, she would've shot you but it wouldn't have done much damage, no.

Bit: So, I could've won?

Phoenix: Let's proceed with the case. Krystal? Any witnesses?

Krystal: *reading magazine* I dunno, no not really.

Jamie: WAIT, we have a witness!

Krystal: Really? *yawns* Well, who is it.

Jamie: Uh. Leena, yeah, that's right.

Leena: Well, see, Jamie kidnapped Puu, then I got hit with a snowball, then Dommon and I started making love so I didn't see what happened next.

Phoenix: Okay then, that's enough, has the jury reached a verdict?

Jamie: Wait, you just oughtta remember, Leena, only said I was guilty of kidnapping, but not attempted murder and oh, you know, we can't trust Fox.

George: Ah-hem. The jury has reached a verdict. Guilty of all charges.

Phoenix: Let's see, that's punishable by.

Jamie: A few years in the slammer, no prob? A fine, I can handle it.

Phoenix: Well normally yes, but, this is Puu, so I'm thinking. twelve hours-

Jamie: Just twelve hours?!?!

Phoenix: -of the most extreme torture followed by slow and painful death. *slams hammer* Court dismissed! Jamie, your punishment will begin tomorrow at sunrise. Bailiff, take the criminal to his cell. Now, half the day's already gone, so I've cancelled today's plans and haven't decided what we're gonna do yet. oh, I know, report to mess hall immediately!

Later in the mess hall:

Phoenix: Okay, today is gonna be Intelligence Day! You'll each take the SAT's and we'll see how you do! GO!

All start. Page one: Basic name registry.

Chibodee: *to self* Hmm. last name. What's up with all these circles everywhere! And there's so many letters. how do I work this thing. Well, I'll come back to it. let's see, first name, no, middle initial, no.DOB? What the bloody hell's a Dob? I'll just put no. Sex. I'll put "yes please".

Puu is steadily speeding along. Zelda is also doing well. Rain's doing okay. Rob and Slippy are writing steadily. Everyone else is stuck.

Link: Hmm. don't have social security numbers in Hyrule. *whispering to Allenby* Hey, whaddya get for 2?

Allenby: I got Allenby, but I'm not sure.

Link: Let's see, two is fist name. that's what I'll put.

***

Kuabara: Uhh. what's Caucasian mean?

Yusuke: Duh, it means. hmm. I dunno, it's a pretty big word.

***

Kaiko: Let's see, DOB, what IS a Dob.

***

Hiei: I think there's a mistake. we have Caucasian, Native American Indian, Hawaiian, Alaskan, Black, and other. WHERE'S DEMON ON THAT?!?!?!

Phoenix: Just keep looking.

Hiei: IT'S NOT HERE, DAMN IT, I THINK I'D BE ABLE TO TELL IF IT WAS!!

Phoenix: Hey, hey, people are trying to work here, keep it down!

Hiei: This is prejudice! Demon's have feelings too. We deserve rights.

Inuyasha: Preach it!

Hiei: Shut up half-demon!

Inuyasha: *sobbing* No rights for me either way!

Hiei: I won't do the test until "demon" appears on the-

"Demon" appears on everyone's test paper.

Hiei: Well, umm. look there under zip code! Not enough spaces. In demonland, our zip codes have 500 numbers!

Kurama: Hiei, there is no demonland.

Hiei: Yeah well.

Phoenix: Okay, that's enough *Hiei turns into chipmunk*

Leena: OH MY GOD! IT'S SO ADORABLE! IT'S JUST SO TINY, WITH THAT CUTE LITTLE MUZZLE! *picks up Hiei and starts stroking*

Hiei: *in angry chipmunk squeaks* CHIK CHIK CHIK!!!!!!!!

Leena: Oh, Phoenix, can I keep him? Please!!!!

Phoenix: Umm. he should turn back into a human by tomorrow. but. ah what the hell. Go ahead.

Kuabara: Hey, why don't you keep the little midget like that!

Hiei: *leaps onto Kuabara's face and starts mercilessly scratching*

Kuabara: Gerroff me! OWWW!

***

Chibodee: Must figure out what DOB is. must.

***

Van: Irvine, help me!!!

Irvine: Can you do anything for yourself???

Van: Uh. no.

Irvine: Ask Fiona.

Van: Fiona-

Fiona: Ask- wait never mind, Moonbay's dead. Umm. ask someone else.

Van: Rob?

Rob: Fox.

Van: F-

Fox: Shut up.

Phoenix: Van, quit annoying everyone.

Van: Yeah but. *turns into chipmunk*

Leena: AAHHHH! ANOTHER CHIPMUNK!

***

Page two: Basic reading comprehension:

Chibodee: What in the hell's an analogy?!?!?!?

Kaiko: It's a type of germ.

Chibodee: Boy, you're smart.

Yusuke: Hands off, pal.

***

Allenby: This is too hard, I don't know what the opposite of malnutritioned is! I hate this, it's no fair!

Phoenix: I'll ask you very politely. SHUT THE BLOOODY HELL UP YOU BITCH!

Allenby: *whining* But it's not fair *turns into chipmunk*

Leena: ANOTHER ONE! HOORAY!

***

Much, much later.

Leena is holding chipmunks: Hiei, Van, Allenby, Slippy, Kuabara, Kurama, and Rain.

Leena: AAAHHH! SEVEN FUZZY CHIPMUNKS!!!!! WHAT A DAY!

Phoenix: Okay, let's see here. this is Chobdee's HA HA HA HA! *bends over in laughter* Sorry, this is- is GAH-HA-HA! No, sorry, this is OH HO HO HO HO! *continues laughing hysterically for several more minutes.

Chobodee: *in tears* IT'S NOT FUNNY! I GREW UP IN THE GHETTO! I NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL!!!! I'M NEARLY AS DUMB AS KUABARA! *continues sobbing, chipmunk Kuabara jumps on face and starts scratching evily*

Phoenix: Okay, let me just say, you people suck! Eight of you were unable to complete the test because I turned seven of you into chipmunks and one of you was already a pig. Then, oh, these scores are horrible!

George: So, how did you score on this test?

Phoenix: Oh, you think I took it?!?! I'm not going into college. Anyway, the only scores worth mentioning are those of Puu, Zelda, and Rob.

Kaiko: What's Dob?

Many other people: *murmur in agreement*

Phoenix: Possibly Department of Boogers, though many learned scientists are trying to figure it out. Anyway, we've killed enough time, mess hall now.

***

Phoenix: Okay, we'll skip the witty dinner conversations and move right along to the score announcements. Currently, it looks like this. Puu is leading with 350 after gaining 200 today. Tied for second are Zelda and Kuabara, both with 200, Zelda earned her points by tying with Puu for first place today. Then it's Rob with 150 for second in the test. Then it's Hiei with 135, and I had to award 100 for third place today which goes to Krystal for marking at random and getting a decent score. Then, I gave Fox 50 for sacrificing himself for Puu today. Sci-scici with 25, Fiona with 15, and finally Argo with 1. That's all, now everyone, go off and make sure to have at least a good ten pages worth of late night adventures!

***

Zelda: I so can't believe I aced the test!

Link: It's only cause you have that stupid triforce thing.

Zelda: Well, you're still supposed to be smart too! And whatever happened to all that courage you were supposed to have!

Link: Hey, shut up! *fires ice arrows at Zelda who dodges each one* I don't know why bother saving you time after time.

***

Girl's Dorm:

Leena: AAAHHH! SEVEN CHIPMUNKS!!!! OH, what to DO first!!!

Boton: How about you flush em down the toilet.

Leena: NO! Besides, they're only gonna be chipmunks till tomorrow. I know! We'll have a tea party!

Krystal: The girl has freakin lost it, just this morning she was trying to kill Chibodee.

Leena: But they're so cute!!

Hiei: *makes furious chipmunk noises*

Fiona: Say, five of them are boys, you know they shouldn't be in here.

Puu: PUU!

Leena: But, they're only chipmunks!

Fiona: They are now, but what about when we wake up tomorrow.

Kaiko: Hey, she's right, I don't want to wake up with all my clothes out in the woods.

Leena: Don't worry, I'm one of those people who have an internal alarm clock, I can wake up whenever I want to! Then I'll just take the boys out and they'll change back outside!

Boton: Well, that's fine and good, but how can you tell which one's are boys.

Leena: It's easy *picks up Hiei who tries to run away* The boys have-

Hiei: CHIIIIIIIKKK!!!! *and other chipmunk noises that I don't know how to type*

Leena: And that's how!

Zelda: Well, if you're absolutely sure. Hey, where are you two going?

Boton: Oh, us? Umm. me and Krystal are going to meet someone.

Fiona: Ohhhhhhh, have fun *giggles*

***

Boys B:

Sci: OHHH. so hungry! Phoenix didn't type out the dinner line, so we didn't have anything to eat.

Dommon: *snort*

Sci: Dommon! My, Dommon, you're such a. plump. juicy pig.

Bit: Hey, Dommon's still a piggy! And quite a fat one at that, there's only five of us, plenty to go around.

Dommon: *SQUUEAAAL!*

Yusuke: No, no, we wouldn't eat Dommon. even though he does look soooo good with a little bit of seasoning. hmmmm.

Dommon: *SQUEAL?!?!*

Rob: Oh! I know the perfect recipe for- No, no, no, Dommon's our roommate, we can't eat him.

Yusuke: Hey Link, why aren't you contemplating how tasty Dommon looks.

Link: This sucks, damnit, look at this *points to magic meter in upper left screen corner* Look how low it is. I forgot all about it, and I haven't seen a jar all over the island.

Bit: Can't you just eat it back?

Link: Well, supposedly yes, but, I doubt we'll be able to make the potion, it requires the juices of a pig mixed with palm leaves.

Sci: Well, I'd be happy to give you my palm leaf collection, but the pig, I don't know.

Link: Dommon? Any ideas? Oh yeah you're still- a- no, no, I won't.

Dommon: *snort?*

Rob: What to do.

***

George: It's not fair! Slippy and Kurama get to go to the girl's dorm!

Falco: Oh, I doubt they'll get to have any fun there.

***

Leena: Alright chipmunks, I don't want you getting into mischief while I'm gone, so you'll just have to come with me to the bathroom so I can change!

Slippy and Kurama: *exchange looks of happiness*

***

Irvine: Anyway, it doesn't matter, at least Slippy won't make us watch Frog Playboy two hours straight.

All: *shudder*

Argo: True.

Fox: So what do we do, we have to fill up at least as much page space as the rest did.

Irvine: Yo, Falco, where ya goin?

Falco: Uh, nothing, just to meet a few people.

Chibodee: Oh ho ho, who are they?

Falco: Boton and Krystal, Allenby too, but she's a chipmunk.

Chibodee: DAMN! What a player! How'd you score three???

Falco: Umm. I dunno, I think it's the blue coloring

Fox: *snarling* Yeah, have fun, have lots and lots of fun.

Falco: What's your problem?

Fox: Geez. I sure don't know! Could it be- No, it's impossible. It couldn't possibly be that YOU STOLE MY GIRL!?!?!?

Falco: Hey, easy come, easy go.

Fox: EASY COME?!?!? EASY COME?!?!? So, having to go across a planet collecting all sorts of shit with a cheeky dinosaur is EASY?!?!

Falco: Hey, don't blame me!!! It's not my fault I was born blue!!!! Get some hair dye or something.

Irvine: Fox and Falco have been drawn into a fight over the woman they both love. What will happen??? Stay tuned for the conclusion of-

Fox: Are you insinuating that this is a high school soap opera?!?!?!

Irvine: Hey man, I'm just havin a bit o fun.

Chibodee: Fox, can you try to not use such big words?

Fox: Oh, I'm sorry, how's this?!?! *opens and closes mouth like a goldfish* IS THAT PRIMITIVE ENOUGH FOR YOU?!

Chibodee: *nearing tears* You don't have to rub it in.

Fox: I HATE ALL OF YOU! BURN IN HELL!!!!! *takes out blaster*

Argo: Hey watch where you're pointing that thing!!!

Fox: If you all don't shut up, the remarkably fat on gets it.

Argo: Uh, it's called muscle, it's- OWW!

Fox: Okay, enough playtime, how about I set it on. "Fry like a hamburger"?!?!?!?! What if I do that?!?!?!?!

George: Phoe-

Fox: Oh no you don't, he isn't helping YOU out.

Falco: Fox can we-

Fox: SHUT UP!!!! I will not have sex with you!

Falco: Actually I was gonna ask if we can talk this ov-

Fox: I SAID SHUUUUT UUUP!!!! *fires at Falco who dodges*

Argo: By all means I think you've gone off the deep- *dodges laser blast*

Fox: Now, you're all gonna stay right here, we're gonna sit here all night. and we're gonna be quiet.

George: Umm. why?

Fox: Because I said so.

***

Boys B:

Rob: Okay, Dommon, I can make this very quick, and almost painless.

Dommon: *SQUEEEAAAAL!!!!!!! SQUEEAAALL!!!!*

Everyone has Dommon cowering in the corner.

Rob: Okay, just hold still and you'll barely feel a thing.

Owl sitting outside: Hoot! Hoot! Hooters! Hooters!

Link: Where, where's the Hooters?!?!

While all are distracted Dommon sprints away, still squealing like a maniac.

Sci: Dinner! Er. Dommon! Quick to the Hummer!

Batman Logo spins in and out of the screen.

Bit: Alright, you tender hunk of bacon, we're comin for ya!

The hummer zooms out of the bat cave and after Dommon.

Dommon: *SQQQQQUUUEEEEAAAALLLL!!!!*

Rob sticks his arms out of the Hummer, then they turn into machine guns, kinda like Vash in Trigun. Rob fires madly at Dommon.

Yusuke: Since when could you do that?!?!?

Rob: Damned if I know.

Suddenly the animation turns Cowboy Bebop and the camera perfectly captures the flashes of light as bullets rain all around Dommon.

Dommon runs up to a cliff, a river's running down below in a canyon. Dommon hesitates then jumps. The animation style returns to normal and goes slow- mo as the Hummer flies over the cliff.

Bit: W W W A A A A A A H H H ! ! ! (slow-mo writing)

SPLASH.

All get out of the Hummer and swim after Dommon.

***

Fox: Keep sitting.

CRASH! Dommon runs into the dorm.

Fox: *drops blaster in shock* WHAT TH- *all others tackle Fox*

Argo: Thanks Dommon.

Rob and others burst in.

Bit: Give that pig back he's ours! You can't have him!

Phoenix suddenly appears.

Phoenix: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL GOING ON!?!?

Falco: Fox went mad, he threatened us with the blaster, he's crazy.

Phoenix: And it looks like he can't breathe, but that's alright, now let me guess, you lot tried to eat Dommon.

Sic: *with guilty expression* We were hungry!!!

Phoenix: Ahh, no harm done, *turns Dommon back into human* Okay, then-

Dommon: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!?!? DEAR GOD, IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE?!?!? YOU WERE GONNA EAT ME!!!!!!!!! YOU RAN ME ACROSS THE FREAKIN ISLAND TRYIN TO ROAST ME ALIVE!!!

Bit: Well. not alive anyway.

Dommon: *punches Bit in the stomach* I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!! Phoenix, can you torture them or something?!?!

Phoenix: Oh come on, it's alright, you know they didn't- well, they did mean it, but they never did eat you.

Dommon: Whatever! I'm going to torture Larry King. *slams door wich falls off of hinges*

Phoenix: Alright then, as for Fox, I'll take the blaster and leave the rest of you to see to him. Sayonara! *disappears*

Yusuke: Well, uh, guess we'll be leaving then. gotta find the Hummer.

Chibodee: Scram then.

***

Later.

Argo: Okay Fox, now I think you've learned your lesson.

Fox: *mouth gagged* MMMPH! MMMMPPHH!

Argo: *removes gag* Had enough?

Fox: MAKE IT STOP!!! I can't stand it *Fox is bound to a chair with his eyes taped open being forced to watch Playboy Seniors +80* I'm sorry, damn it!

Argo: Oh goodie, I'll just keep you here for another few hours just to let it sink in.

***

Well, that's it. This chapter could've been better, I'll make up for it. Later.