The Magnificent Seven, or searching for a Silmaril.
The setting: A beautiful unnamed coral atoll just off the shore of North Queensland. That is the Great Barrier Reef, probably not far from Innisfail.
The Characters: Seven Pretty elf-boys, and one other.
The man on the charter boat is watching the scene curiously. Three of the elves are fishing, and the other four, in full scuba gear, are diving in the waters near the atoll. Apparently, they are looking for something.
'What sort of bait does one use for a Silmaril, anyway, Russandol?' One of the fishermen asked. All three had red hair, two were clearly identical twins, and the third was missing a hand. The right hand to be exact.
'Don't be silly, Ambarussa, one does not use BAIT for a Silmaril. I am dragging a small net off the end of my fishing line,' said the one handed fisherman, as he examined the selection of things the sea had yielded to him. Shoes, beer bottles, even clothing. The magazine filled with faded and tattered pictures of naked mortal women had proved mildly entertaining for a while, however.
'Oh, well, we've been using prawns. Perhaps that's why we're at least catching FISH and not the discarded useless junk the crazy mortals leave behind,' replied the younger elf.
'We are here looking for the Silmaril Maglor threw in the Sea, not simply annoying some hungry fish!' replied Maedhros.
'Hhm, well, at least we'll have something to eat', mumbled Amras.
Things continued serenely for a while, then one of the divers shot out of the water as if jet propelled, yelling loudly. The other divers followed, and the fishermen put down their rods, wondering what on earth could have happened now.
'The bloody thing bit me, that stupid bloody fish bit me!' complained the diver, whose wet hair was dark brown. His face had lost all colour, making his light dusting of freckles stand out even more than usual.
'In the behind, no less,' drawled one of the other divers, a handsome blonde.
The other elves all collapsed laughing at the injured elf who looked as though he'd burst into tears. 'Don't laugh, it's not funny.'
'Oh, relax, Caranthir, it's not a big bite, you're lucky you know,' said an elf with a particularly beautiful voice.
'Yeah, real lucky,' remarked one of the twins. 'Lucky you taste so lousy the fish didn't want another bite.'
Caranthir launched himself at his brother, and began pummelling him. The others pulled them apart.
'That's it, no more Silmaril fishing today,' ordered Maedhros.
So, the divers got out of their wet suits, and Caranthir sulkily allowed Celegorm to attend to his bitten behind.
'Stop wriggling!' Celegorm shouted as Caranthir tried to look and see how much of his bum was missing. As looking at your own behind is very difficult, Caranthir finally fell over, and landed on Curufin who pushed him into Maglor, and before long all seven brothers were in a tangled mess.
The man on the charter boat was watching this with great amusement, and as the brothers started to untangle themselves he thought that they looked remarkably like an ill disciplined litter of puppies.
He waited until they had regained their feet, and from the boat, called out to the seven elves, 'Hey, look at this!' and he held up a glowing thing that looked remarkably like a Silmaril.
Immediately, the brothers gave up fighting, and took to the water, swimming quickly for the boat, which they quickly boarded, and advanced menacingly on the man, who could now be seen to be another elf.
'Maeglin, give it up!' said Maedhros. 'We'd hate to have to hurt one whose mother was our friend but we cannot allow you to keep one of Father's Jewels.'
'Okay,' said Maeglin, and tossed the object he was holding to Maedhros, who groaned in disgust when he saw it. Using some of the strange modern things mortals made in such quantity, Maeglin had produced a fake Silmaril!
Slowly, Maedhros looked at each of his six brothers who still stood in a ring around the smugly grinning Maeglin. 'Brothers, we can't hurt Maeglin for his little joke, now can we?'
'No,' said Curufin, 'but we can...' and all seven tackled Maeglin to the decking, and gave him a good tickling!
