CRBKE: Ok well after this chapter it will be awhile for chapter four. And
seeing as I only have five reviews if anybody who reads this tells their
friends to read it too and everyone reviews I'll work harder.
ALL warnings and disclaimers apply
----------------------------------
RYOU'S POV
I wake up in the morning, feeling perfectly fine, even if I am a little cranky. It's Sunday, so there's no school. I slide out of bed, stretching my arms, before I walk to the bathroom. I step into the shower, after removing my pajamas, and attempt to remove the sick, grimy feeling from my skin.
A quarter of an hour passes, and then I step out of the shower. I dry myself off and reach into the medicine cabinet. I move things around, and pull out an unlabeled bottle of angel dust.
I know I should stop, but the thing is, I'm not sure I want to. I always hear reports on how what I'm doing is wrong, but it feels so right. It feels good, being numb to reality. Not having to think.
Then there's the withdrawal. Without the angel dust, I become socially withdrawn and depressed, more so than before. I become nervous and filled with anxiety. Without the angel dust in my system, I become edgy and violent.
Just last week, I went to school without any angel dust in my system. I became more irritable as the day went on. At the end of the day though, some ass was making fun of the fact that I'm half albino, and I just turned around and punched him in the face. I broke his nose, and the action was so unlike me that whole crowds of people were staring, wide eyed. I believe I heard a few people saying that the quiet ones were always the most dangerous, because you couldn't tell what they were thinking.
So, I open the bottle and take a pill, noting that I'll have to see Akito soon. I'm running out of angel dust, and I need to restock. The only thing I have left is the powder.
Sometimes, I wonder if my father's worried about me. All his money disappears so fast now. Before, I used to refuse to use more than necessary, but now I'm using money from the account all the time.
It's not like he cares enough to call though. He probably wouldn't notice if I died. Well of course he wouldn't - he's in Egypt - but he wouldn't even call to see how I am. No, he doesn't call for anything.
That's one of the things angel dust helps me to forget; that my own father is almost never around. I used to think it meant he didn't love me. I think I know better now, though; I think I remind him of mom. I know I look like her. I remember all the times people said I did.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if she and sis were still around... If I still had a mother. The angel dust helps me stop wishing they were still alive, because I can forget.
I can go numb; to a place where feelings don't exist. I'm empty, but in a good way. I can't feel hurt or sorrow. I don't care that I'm alone. I wish I were feeling that blissful emptiness right now...
I didn't take enough angel dust, even though that was the last pill. So I pull out a vile of the powder, drawing a line of it onto my hand mirror and sitting cross-legged on my bed. It's only after I go through the familiar process of inhaling the substance through my nose that I realize the door is open, and in it stands a very shocked yami. "Bakura!"
(AN: I thought of stopping chapter 2 here and leaving a cliffy but I liked the ending I posted better. Then I thought of ending chapter 3 here but decided it was too short so I'm going to be nice and end it later.)
BAKURA'S POV
I crawl out of bed and creep towards the bathroom [as only a former tomb robber could]. I open the door to check on my light, staring as his lithe body leans over something. I hear him inhale through his nose, before he leans back against the bed wall.
A minute passes before he blinks, looking at me in surprise. "Bakura!" He sounds strangely like a wounded kitten.
"What is that?" I look pointedly at the vile of white powder. I may be a spirit, but I've learned how to work the television. I've seen TV movies where people use the white powder like Ryou did... and die. He doesn't answer and I raise an eyebrow.
"It's nothing, yami." He's nervous, I can tell; I can feel it, even though our bond's not open. There's more though. It smells like... fear. Is he afraid of me, or afraid that I understand what he's doing? Is this his secret?
"It can't be 'nothing'. For it to be nothing, it must not exist." I'm growling now, getting angry. He's lying to me. "Now tell me what it is."
It's a command, and he knows it is, but he surprises me. He stands up and looking straight into my eyes calmly says a single word. "No!" He's daring me to retaliate, to get angry and hit him. Daring me to destroy our newfound trust.
"It's a drug, isn't it?" I'm seething. "Which one is it?" I'm hiding it though. "Should I start guessing, or are you going to stop lying?!" You're hurting me, hikari. "What's it called, damn it!?"
"It doesn't matter." He's looking over his shoulder, and the look on his face is starting to freak ME out. He looks me in the eyes, and I can tell he's scared of something... Something that isn't me.
I frown, staring into his eyes. Besides the fear, they're blank. "What's wrong?" My anger's gone, and it's replaced by worry. It seems that's all I do now; worry about Ryou.
"It's Mary Jane... She won't leave me alone." Okay... this is weird.
"Who?"
"Mary Jane. She's a giant pink elephant." He suddenly jumps on me, wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his face in my shoulder. "Make her go away!" Oh shit, he's using the cute voice to ask me to do something I can't.
I wrap my arms around him, leading him to the closet. "Come on lets get you dressed." Yeah, lets get him dressed, so that I don't go insane and take him on the floor. I pull out an outfit and help him slide it on. "It's okay Ryou, but I can't make her go away. You have to stop taking that stuff and she'll disappear." I hope.
"It's called angel dust." How fitting the 'angel' uses angel dust. The dust of angels. It's utterly ironic.
"Okay tenshi, why don't you lay down and I'll find you something to eat." I lead him to the bed and lay him down. I tuck him in and tell him to stay put. What the hell am I going to do?
I think this is one of those situations I've heard about where you need help in order to deal. Where you're supposed to tell someone. Where, as Anzu, Satan's horribly scary mother [don't ask who his father is I'm still deciding who's nasty enough to sleep with her] would say, one should confide in his friends. Lean on them for support, all that lovey dovey crap, that's partially true. [Don't get me wrong; Anzu's still a bitch.]
What do you do if you don't have any friends though? If the only people you know aren't really your friends... What do you do if you're me? Okay that's melodramatic; I have friends, and I don't know them because of Ryou.
Speaking of Ryou, I have to find him food. I walk downstairs and make my way down into the kitchen. Reaching into the pantry, I pull out a box of Fruit Loops. I suppose it'll do. Well, Ryou bought it, so he must like it . I pour him a bowl, adding milk, before taking it up to Ryou.
I open the door and walk up beside the bed, handing Ryou the cereal, and staring as he eats. When did I start watching what he ate? I didn't used to care at all. I remember one time I had this dream where Ryou was standing in the mist, and he kept getting thinner and thinner. Even when he was all skin and bones, it didn't stop, and then he burst into a pile of fine white dust. It was the worst night of my life. I woke up extremely worried and in a cold sweat. All of that, just because I happened to see Ryou with his shirt off.
I have become way obsessive; when the fuck did that happen? It's as if my life has become centered around one thing... Well technically one person, Ryou. When did I stop caring about obtaining the Millennium Items and gaining control over the world? When did I go from heartless to whipped?
No, this is not a confession of being whipped. More like a question of where the cold evil me went. I'm still dark, sadistic, and not all that friendly. Today, however, was the first time in thousands of years I felt like giving up. The first time since early childhood, I felt like crying.
I won't though. I refuse to become weak and break down into tears. No matter how much everything crumbles, I can't cry. I have to be strong. No, I need to be strong... for Ryou.
I need to protect him. Not only is it my duty as his yami, it's what my once frozen heart is telling me to do. Protect Ryou. Protect him from anything. Defend him, help him, and protect him, because I love him. Love him in every way; inside and out, spiritually and physically. A lot of the time, when I'm alone and bored, I think of the fun things we could do together. Surprisingly enough, not all of them involve us having sex [just about three fourths of them]. So, because I love him [a lot], I'll save him from anything [anyone] and everything [everyone], including himself.
He's destroying himself. I can see it... well feel it. It may not be intentional, but every time he takes that so called angel dust, he's playing around with death. Risking his life so often that it's like it's just a game, like living isn't worth it. Like it doesn't matter if he dies.
Later on I'm going to question him. The question that stands out the most though is simply, why? I think I'm starting to understand why it's such a popular question. The need to comprehend often drives people to be incredibly simple.
*****End Chapter Three*****
CRBKE~ Hi darlin's!!! Last night I started writing chapter 4 and then my power went out [again], so I wrote some of it by candlelight until my eyes started to bug me. I only have two-and-a-half pages of chapter 4 done, so it'll be a little bit. I'm getting almost no feedback on this fic, so review and recommend this to your friends. Also, ideas are welcome, but I have most of this fic and the following fics planned out... I do need some ideas for filler material though, that basically means the middle. I have a basic gist and I'll probably play it by ear but the confrontations in either chapter 4 or 5 and eventually there will be a lemon. Probably right after the confrontation, but I'm not sure. Love you all. REVEIW! Please? ::innocent pout:: Next chapter's deep and funny, but I'm not posting it until I'm happy with the amount of reviews I'm getting.
Beta's Notes: Ugh... My computer's supposedly one of the fastest out there, but that does absolutely no good when the power's gone out. We've been having storms and this computer's short-circuited three times in the past two weeks, and it just happened to be when I was beta-ing this... It freaked me out after the third time, because it's like someone up there doesn't want me reading this... TOO BAD! Erm, anywho, I've finally beta-ed this and am ready to post (finally)! So please review!! We're both working on chapters four and five right now!! ~Ryoubakurafan013~
ALL warnings and disclaimers apply
----------------------------------
RYOU'S POV
I wake up in the morning, feeling perfectly fine, even if I am a little cranky. It's Sunday, so there's no school. I slide out of bed, stretching my arms, before I walk to the bathroom. I step into the shower, after removing my pajamas, and attempt to remove the sick, grimy feeling from my skin.
A quarter of an hour passes, and then I step out of the shower. I dry myself off and reach into the medicine cabinet. I move things around, and pull out an unlabeled bottle of angel dust.
I know I should stop, but the thing is, I'm not sure I want to. I always hear reports on how what I'm doing is wrong, but it feels so right. It feels good, being numb to reality. Not having to think.
Then there's the withdrawal. Without the angel dust, I become socially withdrawn and depressed, more so than before. I become nervous and filled with anxiety. Without the angel dust in my system, I become edgy and violent.
Just last week, I went to school without any angel dust in my system. I became more irritable as the day went on. At the end of the day though, some ass was making fun of the fact that I'm half albino, and I just turned around and punched him in the face. I broke his nose, and the action was so unlike me that whole crowds of people were staring, wide eyed. I believe I heard a few people saying that the quiet ones were always the most dangerous, because you couldn't tell what they were thinking.
So, I open the bottle and take a pill, noting that I'll have to see Akito soon. I'm running out of angel dust, and I need to restock. The only thing I have left is the powder.
Sometimes, I wonder if my father's worried about me. All his money disappears so fast now. Before, I used to refuse to use more than necessary, but now I'm using money from the account all the time.
It's not like he cares enough to call though. He probably wouldn't notice if I died. Well of course he wouldn't - he's in Egypt - but he wouldn't even call to see how I am. No, he doesn't call for anything.
That's one of the things angel dust helps me to forget; that my own father is almost never around. I used to think it meant he didn't love me. I think I know better now, though; I think I remind him of mom. I know I look like her. I remember all the times people said I did.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if she and sis were still around... If I still had a mother. The angel dust helps me stop wishing they were still alive, because I can forget.
I can go numb; to a place where feelings don't exist. I'm empty, but in a good way. I can't feel hurt or sorrow. I don't care that I'm alone. I wish I were feeling that blissful emptiness right now...
I didn't take enough angel dust, even though that was the last pill. So I pull out a vile of the powder, drawing a line of it onto my hand mirror and sitting cross-legged on my bed. It's only after I go through the familiar process of inhaling the substance through my nose that I realize the door is open, and in it stands a very shocked yami. "Bakura!"
(AN: I thought of stopping chapter 2 here and leaving a cliffy but I liked the ending I posted better. Then I thought of ending chapter 3 here but decided it was too short so I'm going to be nice and end it later.)
BAKURA'S POV
I crawl out of bed and creep towards the bathroom [as only a former tomb robber could]. I open the door to check on my light, staring as his lithe body leans over something. I hear him inhale through his nose, before he leans back against the bed wall.
A minute passes before he blinks, looking at me in surprise. "Bakura!" He sounds strangely like a wounded kitten.
"What is that?" I look pointedly at the vile of white powder. I may be a spirit, but I've learned how to work the television. I've seen TV movies where people use the white powder like Ryou did... and die. He doesn't answer and I raise an eyebrow.
"It's nothing, yami." He's nervous, I can tell; I can feel it, even though our bond's not open. There's more though. It smells like... fear. Is he afraid of me, or afraid that I understand what he's doing? Is this his secret?
"It can't be 'nothing'. For it to be nothing, it must not exist." I'm growling now, getting angry. He's lying to me. "Now tell me what it is."
It's a command, and he knows it is, but he surprises me. He stands up and looking straight into my eyes calmly says a single word. "No!" He's daring me to retaliate, to get angry and hit him. Daring me to destroy our newfound trust.
"It's a drug, isn't it?" I'm seething. "Which one is it?" I'm hiding it though. "Should I start guessing, or are you going to stop lying?!" You're hurting me, hikari. "What's it called, damn it!?"
"It doesn't matter." He's looking over his shoulder, and the look on his face is starting to freak ME out. He looks me in the eyes, and I can tell he's scared of something... Something that isn't me.
I frown, staring into his eyes. Besides the fear, they're blank. "What's wrong?" My anger's gone, and it's replaced by worry. It seems that's all I do now; worry about Ryou.
"It's Mary Jane... She won't leave me alone." Okay... this is weird.
"Who?"
"Mary Jane. She's a giant pink elephant." He suddenly jumps on me, wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his face in my shoulder. "Make her go away!" Oh shit, he's using the cute voice to ask me to do something I can't.
I wrap my arms around him, leading him to the closet. "Come on lets get you dressed." Yeah, lets get him dressed, so that I don't go insane and take him on the floor. I pull out an outfit and help him slide it on. "It's okay Ryou, but I can't make her go away. You have to stop taking that stuff and she'll disappear." I hope.
"It's called angel dust." How fitting the 'angel' uses angel dust. The dust of angels. It's utterly ironic.
"Okay tenshi, why don't you lay down and I'll find you something to eat." I lead him to the bed and lay him down. I tuck him in and tell him to stay put. What the hell am I going to do?
I think this is one of those situations I've heard about where you need help in order to deal. Where you're supposed to tell someone. Where, as Anzu, Satan's horribly scary mother [don't ask who his father is I'm still deciding who's nasty enough to sleep with her] would say, one should confide in his friends. Lean on them for support, all that lovey dovey crap, that's partially true. [Don't get me wrong; Anzu's still a bitch.]
What do you do if you don't have any friends though? If the only people you know aren't really your friends... What do you do if you're me? Okay that's melodramatic; I have friends, and I don't know them because of Ryou.
Speaking of Ryou, I have to find him food. I walk downstairs and make my way down into the kitchen. Reaching into the pantry, I pull out a box of Fruit Loops. I suppose it'll do. Well, Ryou bought it, so he must like it . I pour him a bowl, adding milk, before taking it up to Ryou.
I open the door and walk up beside the bed, handing Ryou the cereal, and staring as he eats. When did I start watching what he ate? I didn't used to care at all. I remember one time I had this dream where Ryou was standing in the mist, and he kept getting thinner and thinner. Even when he was all skin and bones, it didn't stop, and then he burst into a pile of fine white dust. It was the worst night of my life. I woke up extremely worried and in a cold sweat. All of that, just because I happened to see Ryou with his shirt off.
I have become way obsessive; when the fuck did that happen? It's as if my life has become centered around one thing... Well technically one person, Ryou. When did I stop caring about obtaining the Millennium Items and gaining control over the world? When did I go from heartless to whipped?
No, this is not a confession of being whipped. More like a question of where the cold evil me went. I'm still dark, sadistic, and not all that friendly. Today, however, was the first time in thousands of years I felt like giving up. The first time since early childhood, I felt like crying.
I won't though. I refuse to become weak and break down into tears. No matter how much everything crumbles, I can't cry. I have to be strong. No, I need to be strong... for Ryou.
I need to protect him. Not only is it my duty as his yami, it's what my once frozen heart is telling me to do. Protect Ryou. Protect him from anything. Defend him, help him, and protect him, because I love him. Love him in every way; inside and out, spiritually and physically. A lot of the time, when I'm alone and bored, I think of the fun things we could do together. Surprisingly enough, not all of them involve us having sex [just about three fourths of them]. So, because I love him [a lot], I'll save him from anything [anyone] and everything [everyone], including himself.
He's destroying himself. I can see it... well feel it. It may not be intentional, but every time he takes that so called angel dust, he's playing around with death. Risking his life so often that it's like it's just a game, like living isn't worth it. Like it doesn't matter if he dies.
Later on I'm going to question him. The question that stands out the most though is simply, why? I think I'm starting to understand why it's such a popular question. The need to comprehend often drives people to be incredibly simple.
*****End Chapter Three*****
CRBKE~ Hi darlin's!!! Last night I started writing chapter 4 and then my power went out [again], so I wrote some of it by candlelight until my eyes started to bug me. I only have two-and-a-half pages of chapter 4 done, so it'll be a little bit. I'm getting almost no feedback on this fic, so review and recommend this to your friends. Also, ideas are welcome, but I have most of this fic and the following fics planned out... I do need some ideas for filler material though, that basically means the middle. I have a basic gist and I'll probably play it by ear but the confrontations in either chapter 4 or 5 and eventually there will be a lemon. Probably right after the confrontation, but I'm not sure. Love you all. REVEIW! Please? ::innocent pout:: Next chapter's deep and funny, but I'm not posting it until I'm happy with the amount of reviews I'm getting.
Beta's Notes: Ugh... My computer's supposedly one of the fastest out there, but that does absolutely no good when the power's gone out. We've been having storms and this computer's short-circuited three times in the past two weeks, and it just happened to be when I was beta-ing this... It freaked me out after the third time, because it's like someone up there doesn't want me reading this... TOO BAD! Erm, anywho, I've finally beta-ed this and am ready to post (finally)! So please review!! We're both working on chapters four and five right now!! ~Ryoubakurafan013~
