Disclaimers: I don't own Apple software (just my goddamn Dell), Dante's 9 Layer of Hell Test, MSN, Sketchers, The Exorsist, McDonalds, Wendys, Emeril Live! (even though that show is condemned and damned), GameBoy Advanced, The Sound Of Music, Enya's "Only Time", Chii from Chobits clothing, or any other crazy shit I mention..

I would just like to state, that I'm sorry it takes me such awhile to update this story. During this up coming school school season (I hate it as much as it sounds, too. I just want to get my 8th grade year over with!) I am starting a new story. It's called...

A L I C E : A Homicidal Fairytale. The information/full summary is in me and my sister's Bio. It's based off of the PC/CD-Rom Game, American's McGee's Alice. I'm revising it to fit the InuYasha cast properly. It's mostly likely going to become a Inu-Yasha/Kagome Horror/Romance. Yes, everyone, It is a demented version of "Alice In Wonderland" for those of you who haven't played the game. NOT for small children who don't want their brains soiled. I'm going through the walk-throughs of the game, and all I need is your ideas if you'd really want to read something like that. If not, I wont even start it.

I will kick my own ass just to update all of my stories. Because I hate the look of dissappointment, even though I can't see you, I'll still feel guilty. But I will not lag. All I need is some REVIEWERS-POWERS to inspire me faster! ^_~

SO! Now let's end this crap about school and go on with the fic!

'Cuz summer ain't over yet!

3rd Surveyer: Kanna Majikkumira (japanese term :: Magic Mirror)

:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:_"_:-:

Unlike her father, Kanna had a sheer taste for computers and fine danish. With her clear colored Apple that matched her white room with comfy coushioned walls, clothes, and well.. everything else, Kanna was on top of the world.

Well, Dante's 9 Layer of Hells test proved otherwise (I will mention that I belong in the 7th Layer of hell with all the suicidals and centuars with flaming bows and arrows who pin you in the pit of your soul if you dare escape their clutches. Oh, the things I look forward to...) for she belonged to the Styx (6th or 8th layer). Her Apple's screen flickered onto her MSN service provider with the little multi-colored butterfly that Kanna looked forward to seeing everyday.

Signing on to her name, an intresting ad popped up onto her screen. 'Waitasec.. isn't this the survey Naraku was taking a week ago..?' Standing up from her seat and locking her white door's notch so no one can interfere with her "me" time.

Hovering her cursor over the ad and clicking the Open New Window majiger, she waited patiently as the new window loaded the survey. She was a good waiter.. or waitress.

x. name = Kanna Majikkumira

x. birthday = What's a 'birthday'? Is that some kind of sick joke??

x. piercings = I keep asking Naraku to get my ears pierced, but he just says "How can you get nothing pierced?". Damnit.. that's right, keep throwing that up in my face.. (Kanna was spawned from Naraku to resemble 'nothingness'. Figure out the rest)

x. tattoos = Another thing I can't get.

x. severe scars or bodily marks = The one that's on my back slitting down my spine. I played the little posessed girl in "The Exorcist", you know.. oh shit I wasn't supposed to say that..

A loud and obnoxious rapping was heard on her door frame on the other side of her door.

"Kanna, Juuroumaru and Kageroumaru haven't inhailed their hourly stomach acid, so get your ass in the kitchen and make them some!!" Kagura yelled, pretty pissy for the damn weekend.

Kanna looked over at her door. "NO EFFIN' WAY KAGURA!! I'm not letting my own brothers feed from my stomach again! Damnit, tell them to order McDonalds. Wendy's gives them heartburn."

"Do you mean the clown or the food? Ah hell, I'll order them both..."

A minute later the two white haired men prodded at Kanna's door saying things like "WE LOVE YOU SIS!" or "Stop carving things in her door, you stupid idgit midget (guess who^^)!" Kanna threw the nearest item, a clear glass vase with nothing in it but seltzer, at her door angrily.

"Go suckle Kohaku out of his room for a game of checkers, fools!"

"Yes, dear Kanna...bitch.."

"Don't think I didn't hear that, Kageroumaru. And STOP carving crap in my door! Just because you have the custody of the brains in this family, doesn't give you the right to go Polter-bitch on us."

"Got that right, sista! Wait.. what the hell?"

x. height = 5' 0" ..leave me alone..

x. age = I lost track around 100-something.

x. shoe size = My ballet shoes are size 4... My sketchers are size 4... My feet all-in-all is atleast size 4.

x. weight = Does my face imitate numbers, or is this a hypathetical question? I doubt human intelligance.

x. hair color = snow white

x. length = aliiiiittle past my shoulders

x. what style it's in = down, fool.

x. sisters? brothers? = Gee, where do I start.. I have an ugly psychic oni...

Kanna, unnoticably, says this aloud while typing it. Camera 23D in the corner of her room is played in the main room where almost all of the rest of her family is, with the exception of Kagura (she had to go to WacDonalds because Kanna was hogging the phone connection and her cell's battery ran out).

Goshinki peers up at the ceiling from his Connect 4 game with Naraku. While he wasn't looking Naraku unnoticably slipped another one of his black pieces in a slot, chuckling "fool".

Goshinki breaks into a fit of sobs saying things like "she doesn't love me anymore.." or "Atleast Im not uglier then nothing!". But soon realizing after what he just said, he cried somemore. Naraku got fed up at one point and went upstairs to change his Baboom pelt (he goes through them like Kleenex at a Cry-Me-A-River-Matinee).

A stomach eating brother, who is the truth behind PMS only in a human form.. and you can't forget his lackey who is, "smarter then Naraku himself". Yeah right. He's smarter then Naraku and I'm Emeril's pupil (Emeril: Porkfat rules! BAM! Where's my damn paycheck?!).

Hearing this, Juuroumaru and Kageroumaru laugh insanely. Subomaru looks up at the ceiling from playing his Gameboy Advance (the on that looks like a women's compact, for the love of god, they get smaller and smaller every year till ultimately it's the size of a keychain).

Juuroumaru and Kageroumaru didn't really have a protest and got wierd glances from other spawn's of Satan. Whoops. I mean Naraku... Yeah, Satan.

"You are both fucked up. I don't care how much Goshinki keeps crying, Naraku keep's bitching, or Kagura keeps beating up the clown bastard from that chain resturant.. But what you both do it totally fucked up." Subomaru shook his head. "Jesus, what I do just to have a roof over my fucking head and food at the table.."

Still, Juuromaru giggled like giddy school girl while Kageroumaru glared at him for the que to stop. Which he caught about 6 minutes later of his annoying giggles.

..a brother who must have a special connection with the PMS-in-flesh- mesh.

"....Goddamn, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN Kanna!!" Subomaru bellowed, going back to his game of Kirby Tilt-N-Tumble. Kirby NEVER goes in the right direction! (-.-) fucking thing.

...a sister who dances to please gods who can't even answer your questions...

At that moment, Kagura walks through the front door with a beaten and bloody Ronald McDonald, and a big mac with a large fry. Oh yeah, and a diet coke.

Kagura growled at the intercom, "First this bitch!" She threw the pathetic unconscious Ronald to the floor with a thud, the second it did, Kagemaru and Juuroumaru instantly started to piece him open and withdrawl his bloody acid through his intestines. "And now Kanna! I'M SORRY I CAN'T MAKE D-DANISH! I'M SOOOOORRRYYYY!! I CAN CHANGE, KANNA!! I CAN CHAAAAAANGEE!!"

Kagura broke down on her knees into emotional and LOUD sobs, until Naraku came back downstairs and told his whole family to shut up and stop smacking her with random items, because knives were more useful.

...and a stolen kid.

Kohaku looked up twords Naraku, eyes pleading to tell him it wasn't the truth.

Naraku scowled reaching for the back of Kohaku's neck collar thingy. Kohaku stood and put a hand over his heart, "I... shall not...be imtimidated like this..any..longer!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at Kohaku.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home! WOO HOO!" Kohaku ran out of the opened doors and jumped all around singing a mixed version of "The Sound of Music" and "Only Time". After he gathered enough money from passer-byes he high- tailed it out of Naraku's Kingdom to find his sister, Sango, and her loyal companions.

Naraku was currently wiping his eyes with a hanky and with a half dead/half alive Ronald McDonald comforting with what arm he has left. "They grow up.. *sniff* and they leave me.. OH WHAT 'TIS A FATHER TO DO?!"

x. pets = Kikyo.. but I killed her. She almost burned down my house... little whore.

last...

x. movie you rented = The Mirror Has Two Faces. Ahh, I was always a sucker for romantic comedy.

"I CAN CHANGE KANNA!! I CAN CHAAAAAANGE!! WHAAAAAA--ow! Sonvabitch, Kagura.. What the hell is up YOUR ass?!"

"STOP MOCKING ME YOU GAMEGIRL PSYCHO! Argh!" A whole bunch of cursing and fist fighting was heard downstairs.

"IT'S GAMEBOY, NOT GAMEGIRL!!"

..silence..

....

"Great, I have a gayfer for a brother. Get the hell away from me.."

x. movie you bought = Naraku got me The Ring, and that was the last.

x. song you listened to = Stained Black Mirror by Inane Eminence

"I wouldn't be suprised if she went suicidal on us. For the love of christ, she has a mirror on her ceiling."

"You gotta be shittin' me, Kageroumaru."

"I shit you not, Juuroumaru."

"SHE WHAT?! KANNA GET YOUR PALE ASS DOWN HERE, NOW!"

"IN A FREGGIN' MINUTE, NARAKU! I'm doing a survey. Now if you don't mind I'm not here right now, so please leave a message after the beep. ......Beeep.."

"No! I'm not falling for that again, Kanna! GET OUT HERE AND FACE ME LIKE NOTHING!"

"Damnit. No."

"Fine! Ronald Get your ugly ass up here and scare some sense into her.. Ronald?... Fuck. Why'd you guys have to eat his lungs before he had a change to knock some sense into my daughter?.. Lousy bastards.. Can't get anything straight around here."

"Especially Subomaru and his GameBOY."

"I'm not GAY, it's just the NAME of the damn THING!"

"Yeah, sure, more excuses. Tell it to your psychiatrist."

x. song that was stuck in your head = Believe In Nothing by Nevermore

x. cd you listened to = "Fallen" composed by Amy Lee ft. 12 Stones in Evanesence

x. person you've called = Why the hell would I call someone when I can get Direct COnnect through my mirror?

x. person that's called you = Kagura. Yeah, it's kinda obvious with her wailing about not being a superior chef, such as I. I am wise I am wonderful I am..Kanna. MuWaHaZ!

"That's it. I'm giving back her self-denial privaleges. She's pissing me off the deep end."

"Eat your checkers, Goshinki."

"Yes, Kage-sama."

"I can't belive I raised such nice children."

..The (REAL) Adam's Family Moment.

x. tv show you've watched = Punk'd with my dad. Who'd of thought Ashton Kutcher would be dating a 56 year old bat, when he can choose out of a lot of ladies from the 7-11, I'll never know.

x. person you were thinking of = Ship...pou?

Kagura stood up from her lounge chair. "I will NOT stand for this!"

Juuroumaru looked up from his bone-licking, "Then you shall sit." At the same time a voice in the distance said the exact same words, followed by a loud and bone-cracking thud.

Juuroumaru and the voice snapped thier head's up, "JYNX! YOU OWE ME A SODA!! Huh? What the hell?"

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

"Kagome, who are you talking to?" Sango looked up from cleaning her boomerang, with intrest.

Kagome blinked and stared out into the forest, "I dunno..Sounded familiar, though."

InuYasha climbed out of his body-shaped cookie crater and glared at HIS Kagome. "The wench is hallucinating, I knew the heat would get to her--"

"SIT!"

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

"Who needs AT&T when all you can do is scream at your neighbor?"

"I said, eat your checkers Goshinki."

"grr.."

x. you have a gf = I'm horizontal. Not vertical.

x. you have a crush on someone = ..no.

x. you wish you could live somewhere else = After all thats happened, would you think I'd want to live somewhere else?

x. you think about suicide = Tell me this. How in the blue hells would I kill NOTHING? I am NOBODY. Nothing. Nobody is perfect. So I must be perfect.

"When cows fly, small fry!"

Kanna got up and walked over to Camera 31A, "Why would I need to see cows fly when I can go to your grandmama's bathtub to see a naked whale."

GASP!

"My grandmama?! YOUR grandmama!"

Naraku stood from his seat on the couch and ripped the battery out of Subomaru's hands and ate the batteries. "You know how Kanna gets over these conversations, so save it."

x. you believe in online dating = More artificial human intelligance I see. Online dating? Do you know how many people get killed that way? Catch me on a day when someone doesn't get raped.

x. driving drunk = I'll only get pulled over or killed. What doosh-bag drives drunk? You're all fools.

x. soap operas = T.V. Shows sponsered by soap ads? If I wanted to watch wrestling then I'd say so.

x. gum = Orbitz

x. tv show = That's 70's Show. Atleast Ashton Kutcher has a life waiting for him there. Even if Kelso is stupider then Frankenstein, it's still funny to watch.

x. thing in the world = Must you ask me this?

x. thing to collect = White things..

x. colors of all time = I'll give you 1 guess, I'm not feeling that generous.

x. thing to do on a rainy day = Climb the highest tree, and pray for lightning.

x. feeling in the world = Turmoil, Pain, Victory.

"Thata girl."

favorite...

x. food = Maple covered puff pastries with cream custard in the flaky outside.

x. song = Get Busy by Sean Paul RMX Ft. Fatman Scoop

x. thing to do = Haunt.

x. thing to talk about = Nothing.

x. sports = Is soul-sucking a sport in this generation?

Kagura stopped knitting for a minute, "I'd think it is. Doesn't the Presidential Cabinet of America do it on their spare-time?"

"We may never know, sis," Subomaru wistfully spoke, "we may never know..."

x. drinks = Lizzard Blizzard SOBEs.

x. clothes = ..I do think Chii's clothes look good on me.. Ahem. yeah.

x. picture = I burned them. So it wouldn't matter.

x. holiday = St. Patrick's Day?

"Great we have a Quaker in our family."

"Kagura, shut up, we wouldn't read the Bible anyways."

"Oh... we... wouldn't? Heheh..e. Whoops."

"Whoops? WHOOPS? Whoops isn't good.."

x. cars = The Police Station won't even give me my lisense because I'm "Underage". All they do is laugh at me when I say, "I'm older then your whole damn squad and the people who came to arrest you by ship's 'n boats. I should atleast get my lisense today!"

you...

x. ever cried over a girl = Give me a reason why I would even think about doing that.

x. ever lied to someone = Who doesn't?

x. ever been in a fist fight = Yeah, but my brothers come and eat them If I do or don't win.

x. ever been arrested = Heh. I'm UNDERAGE to go to prison! GRRR--Wait.. Isn't that a good thing?

what...

x. shampoo do you use = Dove. No really, Doves.

Juuroumaru snuck over to take a peak on his beloved birds of feather. Only to horrifyingly notice that only one feather lay in the cage. His eyes got all watery when he turned to his family in remorse.

"Where is Romeo and Juliet? Where have my darlings GONE?!"

Subomaru's eye narrowed, "Calm it down! You're starting to sound like Jakotsu!"

Kagura appeared magically next to Suboru and started poking him in his narrowed eye, "How would you know about Jakotsu?! Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?..."

x. shoes do you wear = I mentioned it once. I shan't not repeat myself.

x. are you scared of = Well, an hour ago I wasn't scared of anything. But now Subomaru scares me more then Jakotsu. He's my family, for the love of swimming Monkeys! (I don't own Donkey Kong)

number...

x. of times I have been in love?: 0

x. of times I have had my heart broken?: 0

x. of hearts I have broken?: 0

x. of boys I have kissed?: 0

x. of girls I have kissed?: 0

x. of men I've slept with?: 0

x. of girls I've slept with?: 0

x. of continents I have lived in?: 0

x. of drugs taken illegally?: 0

x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends?: 0

x. of people I consider my enemies?: EMERIL, YOU PANSY, I SHALL OUT-COOK YOU YET!

x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with?: 0

x. of cd's that I own?: 153

x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 9 times for harassing the Police Squad for my lisense, ALL I WANTED WAS MY LISENSE!! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK??

x. of scars on my body?: 1

x. of things in my past that I regret?: I came from the past, so If there was one thing I have come to regret, then I'd be the first one to be notified. But we'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

Kanna sighed knowing that trouble was just waiting to come and slit her throat downstairs. She slowly and gracfully turned off her Apple and walked out of her room, not taking notice to what was carved on her door.

..silence..

"KANNA, EXPLAIN THE MIRROR OVER YOUR BED THING!"

"KANNA TELL KAGURA TO STOP PKING ME IN THE EYE! SUCK HER UP! SUCK HER UP!!"

"KANNA IS IT TRUE THAT JERRY SPRINGER IS LOCKED IN YOUR CLOSET?! CAN WE EAT HIM?? CAN WE SIS, CAN WE??"

"Fese Fheckhers fasse FERRIBABLE! grr.."

"I knew I should have used the window."

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That concludes this bitchy chapter. Took two days to type up, and now I'm about exhauseted from typing. If there are any grammatic mistakes, sorry, but I'm too lazy to correct them, so ignore it.

I'm probably doing one of the Shichinin-tai next time. Or maybe Ayame. I don't know, just vote for whoever you want me to interview. BUT REMEMBER! It can't be Sango, Kagome, InuYasha, Miroku, Shippou, Sesshoumaru, Kikyo, or someone who has appeared very many times. I'm talking about the Underdogs of InuYasha. Like, Nobunaga, Kohaku, Shichinin-tai which consists of Jakotsu, Renkotsu, Bankotsu, Kyoukotsu, Mukotsu, Ginkotsu, or Suikotsu. People like that. Well, most of them look like people, I could just be paranoid.

Anywhooooo, I hope you liked this chapter, it was ahelluva lotta work for me to complete. So thanks for reading, please leave me a review, and I'll make a new chapter, hopefully, soon to come! Remember to give in your suggestions, too.

May the rest of your summer be merry!

I love you, just not in that way,

Hirari the 9th Goddess Of Maple Syrup