In actuality, Bowser being across the hall was the least of Fox's problems. Bowser was neutral to Fox, he never went into his office or was loud and obnoxious. Bowser left him alone and Fox enjoyed every second of it. Falco, on the other hand, refused to ignore Fox and refused to be ignored by him. Every day he would appear in Fox's office and complain about things that no one in the office had any way of remedying. Finally, when he could take no more, Fox would say that he had problems of his own. Falco didn't care. That was one of his more charming personality traits, the ability to not give a damn about anyone or anything except for himself and his problems. He would often complain to Link, who was too embedded in his own problems to care about anything else.
"You don't know what I'm going through," Link would shout, since he was apparently incapable of talking in a quiet, civilized manor. "I have a country to save."
"I don't want to hear about your issues." Falco would reply, and then march into Fox's office and complain.
The truth was that Link didn't actually have a country to save anymore because the person who he was trying to save it from occupied an office close to his. His name was Ganondorf and he was tall and evil. He had a pointed nose and a flowing cape and laughed at other people's misfortune. Ganondorf always seemed to pleased by something known only to him, and Link went crazy trying to figure out what.
"What difference does it make what he thinks?" Samus asked him. "He doesn't think enough for it to make a difference. No brain at all in that big, balding head of his." Samus wondered about things like that. Fox wondered if Samus really was a woman, or just some guy with a nasty sense of humor. She was tall, robotic and was the only girl in the whole place safe from Captain Falcon's inappropriate remarks and sexual innuendo. This was because she could beat the snot out of him. All the other girls could, too, since Captain Falcon was a puss, but Samus came out and told him the second he spoke to her.
"I'll smack the crap out of you if you come in my office again."
"Huh?"
"You heard me." Samus said, leaning back in her chair and putting he feet on the desk.
"Get your feet off the desk," said Mario, who had been walking by. "It's bad manners."
Captain Falcon never bothered Samus again and Mario never ceased in telling people to get their feet off their desks. It was his responsibility, he felt, to make sure that all the furniture went undamaged, so as to anger M.H. Esq.
"Get your feet off the desk Luigi," he said to Luigi the day after Roy got tetanus from watching too much TV. "Its bad manners."
"Shut up." Luigi suggested.
"No, really, get your feet off the desk." Mario said and glowered at Luigi until he took his feet off.
Luigi was very interesting. He was not brave, not strong, and not smart. He was the ultimate person you never wanted to be a hero, and yet he was. He hated confrontations, yet he excelled in them. He talked too little and was an incredible conversationist when he did.
"I hate him." Mewtwo said as he took a drink from a pot of coffee that wasn't his. "He has no self esteem. He should get some from Captain Falcon. He has way too much to be healthy."
But Captain Falcon was healthy, and Mewtwo wasn't. He was pallid, sallow and wan. His paleness was surpassed by his immense mental strength, which he did everything with. This got on some people's nerves, to see him write with six pencils at once and make them all look bad.
"He's making us look bad." growled Bowser.
"No he's not." said Zelda. "He's just a hard worker."
"He hates all of us." whined Yoshi.
"I'm sure he doesn't." responded Zelda quickly.
"Let's ask him." Bowser said, and barreled into the office without knocking or waiting for consent from his companions.
"Mewtwo."
"What?"
"Do you hate us?"
"Yes."
Bowser was surprised. "All of us?"
"Down to the very last idiot amongst you."
"Are you trying to make us look bad?"
"Absolutely."
"He hates all of us." Bowser reported back. "I think I'll get along nicely with him"
