Yoshi didn't die of the tetanus he contracted by watching too much TV. He died after Doctor Mario gave him shots of anti-viral medication. He lay on floor in Dr. Mario's office twitching spasmodically like some kind of insect, until he finally gave up and died. Dr. Mario swore like a sailor and moped in his office with the doors closed for quite some time.
"I'm not going to work." said Yoshi emphatically. "I'm going to watch TV until I die."
"You have to work." peach had said to him in a soothing voice. "You have to work or Bowser will kill you."
"Good for Bowser." he whined and sat on the sofa with the TV on.
"I hate you." Fox said after Yoshi refused to get up. "I hate you more than I hate Jigglypuff. And I hate Jigglypuff a lot."
"Good for Jigglypuff." Yoshi whined and went right on moping on the sofa.
"You're not even watching anything good." Fox pointed out. "You're watching Alf."
"Really?" Kirby asked
"Really, I swear. He's watching Alf. For God's sake, Alf."
"Alf sucks." rumbled Bowser. "Who's watching it?"
"Yoshi."
"Maybe I'll join him." said Bowser and stomped off to the lounge.
"I want a donut." Falco said to Kirby.
"Where the hell did you come from?"
"My office. Look, just give me a donut. I know you have a junta on them."
Fox laughed. "Junta? People don't put juntas on donuts."
Kirby laughed nervously. "Fox," he said uneasily.
"What?"
"I kind of have a junta."
"On donuts?" Fox said with a raise of his eyebrow.
"On donuts."
"What kind of donuts?"
"Oh, all the good ones." Kirby said enthusiastically. "Glazed, Boston cream, crullers, the chocolate icing ones. In fact the only ones I leave are plain."
"Plain?"
"Plain."
Fox paused.
"Plain donuts blow."
"Plain donuts blow." Falco said after Fox told him that there were donuts.
"How'd you know there were only plain left?" Fox asked, chewing on a plain donut.
"There's always only plain donuts left." Falco said sulkily. "Some filthy hog is hording them for himself."
"He called you filthy."
"He what?" Kirby asked, munching on a cruller.
"He called you filthy."
"Who?"
"Falco."
"That bastard."
Fox scratched his head. "Maybe if you gave him a cruller or two.."
Kirby shook his head, which was actually his body. "No way. No."
"Why not?"
"That would defeat the whole purpose of my junta."
Fox thought he had him. "And what purpose is that?"
"To keep all the donuts for me." Kirby said calmly, switching to a jelly donut.
"You talk to him." Fox told Link.
"Why?"
"He listens to you."
Link left his office and found Roy's top half lying in a pool of his own blood on the floor. Marth was standing over him with a bloody sword.
I'm not going to jump to conclusions, Link told himself.
"Who did this?"
"Me."
Link gasped. "Why did you cut Roy in half?"
"Why not?" Marth said, and walked away.
Link frowned. Half a Roy wasn't going to do any work. Of course, full Roy didn't do any work either.
"Why did you cut him in half?" Link asked again after he cornered Marth in his office.
"If you don't shut up I'm going to cut you in half."
"No, really, why."
Marth sighed. "Will you stop bothering me?"
"Yes."
"He wanted me to."
Link felt like he was going to explode. "Why," he shouted as calmly as he could shout. "did he want that?"
Marth shrugged.
Link sighed and left the office to find a donut, but there were only plain ones left.
