~Thoughts and Fears for the Past and Future~

Sirius sat up that night, waiting to see if Harry would join them that night. When his godson came down, beaming bright with Ron in his shadow, he tried to put on his own smile.

'Ready?' both nodded. 'Lets go then.'

They stepped outside, transforming the moment after. Two large black dogs and a wild cat bound toward the forest, yet made not a sound. The large wolf was already sitting, waiting for them.

'Any slower and the full moon would have ended.' Moony laughed.

'Right.' Padfoot growled. He turned immediately to Harry and Ron. 'Why don't the two of you sneak off for a few moments, I need to speak with Moony alone.'

Ron looked to Harry, who only cast his eyes at his godfather with some mixed emotions Padfoot knew well to expect.

'Very well.' he growled. Ron followed, and they went their separate way. Harry slipped away silently, and the pair soon lost sight of him. They only had a notion of his location because of Ron's cat like body standing out in the little light provided to them.

'What's wrong?' Moony sat, his tail wagging briskly. When he saw the dark look in Padfoot's eyes, he raised an eyebrow. 'Something is definitely bothering you.'

'It's Harry.'

'What's he done?' Moony seemed rather humored, but that soon died down. 'What's wrong?'

'They're inducting him into the Order.'

'Oh.' Moony sighed. He'd known that this was what his friend had feared all this time. 'Well, its not like-'

'And Moody is going to make him an Auror.'

'Well so much for that last optimistic thought.' Moony laughed. They trotted through the forest at a brisk pace. 'I was just going to say: at least they're not making him an Auror.'

'Well, this is all Harry's decision to do this though. No one has pressured him into it.'

'What are you so worried about?'

'He's doing exactly everything his father did. Everything James did.'

'So?'

'Remus...he told me the exact same thing James did when he decided to join.'

'Really?'

'Yes...and that was what bothered me the most. Word for word. It was like reliving the moment over again. I was in the chair and he was standing beside me.'

'Hand on the shoulder?'

He was hesitant. 'Yes.'

'That's rather...disturbing.' Moony admitted honestly. There was no wild humor or sarcasm in his voice. For a moment, Remus was talking to him again.

'I know it is. And then this morning didn't make it much better.'

'I heard Molly screaming at someone.'

'It was me.'

'I should have known.'

'Did you hear anything of what she said?'

'Hardly.'

Padfoot sighed. He didn't want to relive it all, but he knew he would have to if he wanted to get this out of him, to stop it from eating him away. 'She started to say that if I didn't start being more responsible, Harry'd end up just like his parents.'

'Ouch.'

'Of course I didn't let her finish the sentence. Not in front of him-'

'Harry's used to being told that.'

Padfoot bit his tongue. 'She blamed it on me though. She said I wasn't responsible with him.'

'For bringing him out here?'

'Yes.'

'Is that all?'

'No. She...' He sighed. 'She said that, one day, something might happen to him and I wouldn't be there for him. She said I didn't know what it was like.'

'Well, do you?'

'Did you not comprehend anything that happened in Harry's fourth year?' Padfoot snarled. Moony was taken aback. 'Everything I told you?'

'I'm sorry! I didn't consider that...its just that...'

'She's right though. You know.' Padfoot stopped, sitting on the ground, his head hanging with his ears folded down. 'I'm not doing well with Harry. I don't do everything I should for him, and tonight I didn't even say anything to him. Moody wants to make him an Auror, and that's something Harry's always wanted to do. I didn't congratulate him or anything. I just walked off. I was too narrow sighted about what I wanted. What I was worried about.'

Moony smiled, biting his ear playfully.

'I think...you're more concerned about Harry dying, then you are about him living.'

Padfoot cocked his head at an angle. 'You're right.' he smiled. 'You're absolutely right.'

'But Sirius,' he stated as the black dog turned. 'Don't think that isn't too bad of a thing. Just remember, life comes before death. You want to be a part of his life, not watching from the sidelines, waiting for him to fall.'

He nodded his head.

'Thank Remus.'

'I guess you're leaving early?'

'Do you mind?'

'Not at all. I can keep myself out of trouble for a night. Tomorrow's the last day anyway, I'll be too tired to do much.'

Padfoot nodded and bound off, following Harry's scent.

* * *

He found the black dog that was Harry sitting in an open area, eyeing the trees with interest. Ron wasn't there, so Padfoot decided that that was what he was watching.

'Harry?' he barked gently.

'Hello Sirius.' he greeted casually.

'You...all right?'

There was some laughter in Harry's voice as he responded. 'Why wouldn't I be?'

'Well...I...thought I'd upset you earlier today.'

'No.' it was a plain lie. Made to be obvious. Sirius winced, though he knew it was well deserved.

'I did.' he stated, sitting next to him, watching the odd cat move along the trees with incredible ease. 'Don't lie.'

'Okay. Maybe a little.'

'There. See.' he stopped, realizing how retarded he probably sounded. 'Err, Harry. I'm sorry about, neglecting you lately.'

'Neglecting?' Harry barked in laughter. 'You haven't neglected me.'

'I have.'

'No. What you did is seem to dismiss what I wanted to do because it wasn't something you liked.' Harry looked into his eyes. 'I'm not my father. I'm not going to end up like him.'

'You can't promise that.' Sirius stated with a small growl.

'You can never promise anything.' Harry stated. 'Nothing is guaranteed. But even if something should happen, Sirius, I don't like the idea that the only time we spent together, every moment of it you only feared when it was I was going to die.'

'More concerned with you dying than living?'

'It's amazing how well a werewolf can put things, isn't it?'

Sirius looked up. 'You heard?' Harry nodded. 'How much?'

'Everything.' Sighing, Sirius looked away. He was now somewhat angered with Harry. 'You have every right to be angry with me. But, some of that, I think I would have had the right to hear.' Sirius winced. That sentence, though said casually and meaningfully, cut him deep.

'I know. You're right.'

'But, its okay.' Harry stated with a sigh. His eyes had been, for a long time now, on Sirius. Both of them still in animagi form.

'No, its not.'

'Yes it is.' Harry laughed. 'I don't care what anyone says.' he plowed under Sirius, tipping him over and pinning him to the ground. 'You're a fantastic godfather. And as far as being irresponsible, dad wouldn't have chosen you to watch over me if he thought you'd put me in more danger than I'd naturally attract to myself.'

Sirius smiled. He rolled over as Harry got off of him, and lunged. As Harry went down he pulled on Sirius' ear, causing him to call as well. As they nipped at each other and wrestled playfully, a werewolf and a cat watched from the brush, smiling.