Chapter 12- Sorting Things Out
The Great Hall was as loud as usual the next morning and Severus found some comfort in the fact that the Toliraptian had not terrorized the whole school last night. However, he could not shake the guilty feeling stabbing through him. Before breakfast, Dumbledore had approached him and asked to speak with him before his first class.
He gloomily pushed around the food on his plate. If only he had told Dumbledore what was supposed to happen last night, but he knew he could not have. Things were becoming harder and harder to disclose to the Headmaster. Voldemort was tightening all his security and Severus hardly had time to warn Dumbledore or the Ministry of any attacks or assassination plans. His eyes wandered around the Great hall, stopping at the Gryffindor table. Harry and Anaka seemed to be strangely quiet among their chattering friends. Severus looked away and chided himself. You had no choice you fool, he thought unhappily, get over it and decide on what to tell Dumbledore!
He pushed away his plate, knowing he would not be able to eat another bite. Severus examined the faces of his fellow professors and didn't miss the few worried frowns. Sitting next to him, Leslie was strangely quiet and was nodding absently to something Flitwick was saying to her. Severus looked down at his abandoned food, knowing he had his own dream from last night to think about.
Thinking about his dream only added pain to his guilt. Once again he faced what he wanted, knowing he could never have it. A wife, kids, love… Severus shook his head. No, he could never have those. Not with the life he was living and not with the knowledge of what he had done in the past. Breakfast seemed to last for hours before the students and professors finally began trickling out of the Great Hall. Severus waited for Dumbledore to stand and then followed him out of the Great Hall.
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"I'm sorry I could not warn you and the others before last night," Severus apologized once he had finished explaining everything to Dumbledore.
Dumbledore nodded somberly. His hands folded on the desk in front of him, his eyes thoughtful.
"Well," he started slowly, stroking his long white beard, "you should know that Voldemort did not bother to let the creature give me some foolish nightmare. He knows better than to think that would scare me. He did however pay a little visit of his own."
Severus eyes widened but before he could speak Dumbledore raised a hand to silence him.
"There was nothing new in our conversation that you or anyone else needs to know at this time. All you need to know is that whatever is happening, whatever Voldemort has planned, will reach its peak this year…soon."
Severus nodded.
"That's another thing," Severus said with a sigh, "Voldemort's been getting more pushy about finding Abaron and is selling more and more wizard weapons to muggles. I have the names of a few that should be sent to the Ministry immediately," he handed Dumbledore a piece of paper, "but there are two other things that are of more pressing matters. First off, Voldemort has collected an assortment of creatures, worse than the Toliraptian and asked Malfoy and me to set them free in Hogwarts. Of course, the ones I was given I sent to the Ministry but Malfoy set his free somewhere in the Forbidden Forest. I think you should alert Hagrid to be very careful."
"Won't Voldemort know you sent your creatures to the Ministry?" Dumbledore asked. Severus shrugged.
"I told him I set them free. I figure you should send a notice to the Ministry telling them you discovered these creatures roaming on the Hogwarts grounds and think you have found all of them. That should make Voldemort angry and pleased at the same time. He'll think he can catch us off guard with the other creatures he sent."
When Severus did not continue Dumbledore raised an inquiring eyebrow.
"What was this… other matter?" he asked slowly. Severus took a deep breath.
"Voldemort has also been…hoarding things and not just any things either. Powerful items and books with plans of his written down. He says he's leaving everything to his…successors."
There was a long pause. Severus's fears deepened by the worried look on Dumbledore's face.
"He's leaving these things for his successors so they can pick up from where he left off," Severus uneasily continued, "He has not given us any clue to as who these successors could be but he seems very unsure if there will be more than one. Sometimes he says they will both take over and sometimes he says only his heir will. It's making some Death Eaters very uneasy," he hesitated, "and if they are uneasy I think we have more reason to be!"
Dumbledore nodded slowly. His eyes were half closed and he seemed to be deep in thought. Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. A few minutes later Dumbledore seemed to realize he was still there and smiled faintly at him.
"This business about his…heirs is not an immediate danger. Time will reveal who his successors are."
Snape nodded and left quickly, his mind full of more questions instead of answers.
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"You look like hell you know," John said gently as he walked with Anaka to her first class. He had finished eating breakfast with his parents and then gone to find Anaka. He needed to talk with her and be with her so he could forget the dream he had had last night.
"I just didn't get much sleep last night," Anaka replied groggily, "I had a stupid nightmare that kept me up half the night." The dream still haunted her. She could see Voldemort offering her a wand full of power and her hand taking it…
John must have seen the faraway look in her eyes cause he shook her gently. Anaka blinked and looked up at him.
"Stay with me love," he said with a smile, "you can't go falling asleep in your first class!" Anaka smiled back and nodded. No, her professors would not like that. Especially not Snape and Leslie. If Leslie saw her tired state she'd surely tell her father who would come to her all worried and flustered.
"I'll be fine Muffin man," Anaka replied, shoving him gently away and then moving close to give him a quick kiss.
"See you at lunch?"
"Death Eaters couldn't keep me away," John answered with a lopsided grin. He watched Anaka enter her classroom and then turned to leave.
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Leslie giggled as the warm breath on her ear tickled her. She snuggled closer to Remus and smiled up at him. He grinned right back at her.
"Aren't you happy I took my morning classes off?" Leslie asked with a laugh. Remus chuckled.
"Well we can thank Dumbledore for that. After all he did have to meet with us after he was done talking to Severus and since you're first class was already underway with the substitute there was no reason for you to go back."
"You just wanted to get me alone in your little suite," Leslie teased. Remus shrugged.
"I'm afraid I'm just very selfish," he answered.
"I could hardly believe what he told us though," Leslie said, getting serious again. She moved slightly away from Remus on the couch and turned to look at him. Remus's smile faded to match Leslie's slight frown.
"I know," he sighed, "all those creatures out there or possibly already in Hogwarts. These past few years have not been good for the school."
"And for Severus to make no kind of effort to warn us about that creature last night! Why the hell did he even go through with it? I just don't understand him sometimes…"
"Be honest, you never understood him," Remus teased gently, "I don't think anyone ever will."
After breakfast, both Remus and Leslie had received messages from Dumbledore saying he wanted to speak with them both. He had already taken care of getting a sub for Leslie's classes and Remus had nothing else to do so they went. Dumbledore had been very serious and repeated what Serverus had said to them, minus the talk of Voldemort's heirs. They were horrified to learn about the creatures set loose and what had caused their nightmares. Leslie had already sent a letter to the American minstry, warning them that Voldemort had sold more wizard weapons illegally to muggles.
When that was taken care of Remus had asked her back to his suite and Leslie excepted gratefully. They both needed to talk about their nightmares from the night before and getting it all out had only helped them grow closer.
"It seems," Remus said quietly, "that we both have this strange fear of losing one another."
Leslie tensed slightly and nodded. She hesitated before commenting.
"It's just that…I know I've never felt this way about anyone else before and with everything that's happened to us and the promise of danger in the future…I just don't want to lose you," she whispered.
Remus reached over and covered her hand with his. He smiled at her.
"I know. I guess I've been worrying about the same thing. Losing you. I know you and Severus are just close friends but sometimes I…it worries me that you'll go to him instead of me," he sighed. Leslie tightened her grip on his hand.
"Why would you think that?"
A cold lump appeared in Remus's throat and he took a deep breath before speaking.
"I could never give you a great life Leslie. I mean, for the work I've been doing helping protect Hogwarts Dumbledore has paid me more than enough but I'll never be able to get out of all my debt. I'm barely able to keep the house! Then with your job and everything…you wouldn't want to be known as being involved with," his voice cracked, "a no good werewolf."
Leslie glared at Remus and gripped his hand harder. Remus jumped from the sudden sting of her nails in his hand and met her gaze.
"How could you think I'd be that dense?" she growled angrily, "I don't give a shit what all those prejudice bastards think! I know who you are. You're the kindest sweetest man I've ever met and I'd be lost woithout you!"
She released her grip on his hand and took his face in her hands, drawing him down to her and kissing him. Remus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Eventually the two reluctantly drew apart.
"I think you convinced me," Remus said with a smile. Leslie smiled back and sighed contentdly. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.
"I could get used to coming here instead of class," she murmured.
"So could I love," Remus answered kissing the top of her head, "Are we done then? Is the air clear between us?"
Leslie tensed in his arms and Remus gave her a questioning look when she turned to look at him.
"There's one more thing," Leslie said slowly, "This is probably a stupid question but…are you truly over Molly?"
The words hit Remus like a slap in the face. He looked at her in shock for a moment. Only the growing disappointment in her eyes knocked him out of it.
"Over Molly?" he croaked. Leslie moved away from him and Remus suddenly felt cold.
"I stayed at your house Remus. I know there are quite a few similarities between Molly and I. I need to know you are not thinking of me as a substitue for her."
Remus was shocked by the accusation. The very idea was apaling and yet…was Molly haunting him whenever he was with Leslie? Remus shook his head.
"No, no I would never do that to you!" He met Leslie's gaze squarely.
"I love you for you Leslie. I wish I could make you understand that. Of course I've had misgivings about our relationship because of Molly. Soemtimes I worry that I'm betraying her, that I'm dishonoring her memory because I'm in love with you. But then I remember the type of person Molly was and that she'd be happy for me. She would want me to move on, to love again, and not die alone and only thinking of her."
Leslie stayed where she was, a long silence growing between them. Then she nodded and smiled weakly at him. Remus started to breath again and was surprised to find he had been holding his breath the whole time. Leslie seemed unsure of what to do next and was avoiding Remus's gaze.
Seeing Leslie frozen, Remus moved to her with the most loving smile he could muster.
"Leslie Brand," he said quietly shaking his head. Leslie reluctantly met his gaze and returned the smile. He took both her hands in his.
"That worry is just as stupid as my worry about you not loving me because I'm a werewolf."
Leslie flinched but nodded. She looked away in shame. Remus gently reached up and firmly grasped her chin, forcing her to look back at him.
"You are the only women for me now and for the rest of my life," he whispered.
"Oh Remus!" Leslie cried, throwing her arms around his neck.
Remus returned her fierce embrace, slightly surprised at his own words. As he thought about what he had said a slow smile crept on his face. He believed every word of what he had said. His feelings for Leslie were true and deep.
He was grateful Leslie couldn't see his face because he could feel himself blush as he realized what he had to do.
The Great Hall was as loud as usual the next morning and Severus found some comfort in the fact that the Toliraptian had not terrorized the whole school last night. However, he could not shake the guilty feeling stabbing through him. Before breakfast, Dumbledore had approached him and asked to speak with him before his first class.
He gloomily pushed around the food on his plate. If only he had told Dumbledore what was supposed to happen last night, but he knew he could not have. Things were becoming harder and harder to disclose to the Headmaster. Voldemort was tightening all his security and Severus hardly had time to warn Dumbledore or the Ministry of any attacks or assassination plans. His eyes wandered around the Great hall, stopping at the Gryffindor table. Harry and Anaka seemed to be strangely quiet among their chattering friends. Severus looked away and chided himself. You had no choice you fool, he thought unhappily, get over it and decide on what to tell Dumbledore!
He pushed away his plate, knowing he would not be able to eat another bite. Severus examined the faces of his fellow professors and didn't miss the few worried frowns. Sitting next to him, Leslie was strangely quiet and was nodding absently to something Flitwick was saying to her. Severus looked down at his abandoned food, knowing he had his own dream from last night to think about.
Thinking about his dream only added pain to his guilt. Once again he faced what he wanted, knowing he could never have it. A wife, kids, love… Severus shook his head. No, he could never have those. Not with the life he was living and not with the knowledge of what he had done in the past. Breakfast seemed to last for hours before the students and professors finally began trickling out of the Great Hall. Severus waited for Dumbledore to stand and then followed him out of the Great Hall.
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"I'm sorry I could not warn you and the others before last night," Severus apologized once he had finished explaining everything to Dumbledore.
Dumbledore nodded somberly. His hands folded on the desk in front of him, his eyes thoughtful.
"Well," he started slowly, stroking his long white beard, "you should know that Voldemort did not bother to let the creature give me some foolish nightmare. He knows better than to think that would scare me. He did however pay a little visit of his own."
Severus eyes widened but before he could speak Dumbledore raised a hand to silence him.
"There was nothing new in our conversation that you or anyone else needs to know at this time. All you need to know is that whatever is happening, whatever Voldemort has planned, will reach its peak this year…soon."
Severus nodded.
"That's another thing," Severus said with a sigh, "Voldemort's been getting more pushy about finding Abaron and is selling more and more wizard weapons to muggles. I have the names of a few that should be sent to the Ministry immediately," he handed Dumbledore a piece of paper, "but there are two other things that are of more pressing matters. First off, Voldemort has collected an assortment of creatures, worse than the Toliraptian and asked Malfoy and me to set them free in Hogwarts. Of course, the ones I was given I sent to the Ministry but Malfoy set his free somewhere in the Forbidden Forest. I think you should alert Hagrid to be very careful."
"Won't Voldemort know you sent your creatures to the Ministry?" Dumbledore asked. Severus shrugged.
"I told him I set them free. I figure you should send a notice to the Ministry telling them you discovered these creatures roaming on the Hogwarts grounds and think you have found all of them. That should make Voldemort angry and pleased at the same time. He'll think he can catch us off guard with the other creatures he sent."
When Severus did not continue Dumbledore raised an inquiring eyebrow.
"What was this… other matter?" he asked slowly. Severus took a deep breath.
"Voldemort has also been…hoarding things and not just any things either. Powerful items and books with plans of his written down. He says he's leaving everything to his…successors."
There was a long pause. Severus's fears deepened by the worried look on Dumbledore's face.
"He's leaving these things for his successors so they can pick up from where he left off," Severus uneasily continued, "He has not given us any clue to as who these successors could be but he seems very unsure if there will be more than one. Sometimes he says they will both take over and sometimes he says only his heir will. It's making some Death Eaters very uneasy," he hesitated, "and if they are uneasy I think we have more reason to be!"
Dumbledore nodded slowly. His eyes were half closed and he seemed to be deep in thought. Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. A few minutes later Dumbledore seemed to realize he was still there and smiled faintly at him.
"This business about his…heirs is not an immediate danger. Time will reveal who his successors are."
Snape nodded and left quickly, his mind full of more questions instead of answers.
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"You look like hell you know," John said gently as he walked with Anaka to her first class. He had finished eating breakfast with his parents and then gone to find Anaka. He needed to talk with her and be with her so he could forget the dream he had had last night.
"I just didn't get much sleep last night," Anaka replied groggily, "I had a stupid nightmare that kept me up half the night." The dream still haunted her. She could see Voldemort offering her a wand full of power and her hand taking it…
John must have seen the faraway look in her eyes cause he shook her gently. Anaka blinked and looked up at him.
"Stay with me love," he said with a smile, "you can't go falling asleep in your first class!" Anaka smiled back and nodded. No, her professors would not like that. Especially not Snape and Leslie. If Leslie saw her tired state she'd surely tell her father who would come to her all worried and flustered.
"I'll be fine Muffin man," Anaka replied, shoving him gently away and then moving close to give him a quick kiss.
"See you at lunch?"
"Death Eaters couldn't keep me away," John answered with a lopsided grin. He watched Anaka enter her classroom and then turned to leave.
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Leslie giggled as the warm breath on her ear tickled her. She snuggled closer to Remus and smiled up at him. He grinned right back at her.
"Aren't you happy I took my morning classes off?" Leslie asked with a laugh. Remus chuckled.
"Well we can thank Dumbledore for that. After all he did have to meet with us after he was done talking to Severus and since you're first class was already underway with the substitute there was no reason for you to go back."
"You just wanted to get me alone in your little suite," Leslie teased. Remus shrugged.
"I'm afraid I'm just very selfish," he answered.
"I could hardly believe what he told us though," Leslie said, getting serious again. She moved slightly away from Remus on the couch and turned to look at him. Remus's smile faded to match Leslie's slight frown.
"I know," he sighed, "all those creatures out there or possibly already in Hogwarts. These past few years have not been good for the school."
"And for Severus to make no kind of effort to warn us about that creature last night! Why the hell did he even go through with it? I just don't understand him sometimes…"
"Be honest, you never understood him," Remus teased gently, "I don't think anyone ever will."
After breakfast, both Remus and Leslie had received messages from Dumbledore saying he wanted to speak with them both. He had already taken care of getting a sub for Leslie's classes and Remus had nothing else to do so they went. Dumbledore had been very serious and repeated what Serverus had said to them, minus the talk of Voldemort's heirs. They were horrified to learn about the creatures set loose and what had caused their nightmares. Leslie had already sent a letter to the American minstry, warning them that Voldemort had sold more wizard weapons illegally to muggles.
When that was taken care of Remus had asked her back to his suite and Leslie excepted gratefully. They both needed to talk about their nightmares from the night before and getting it all out had only helped them grow closer.
"It seems," Remus said quietly, "that we both have this strange fear of losing one another."
Leslie tensed slightly and nodded. She hesitated before commenting.
"It's just that…I know I've never felt this way about anyone else before and with everything that's happened to us and the promise of danger in the future…I just don't want to lose you," she whispered.
Remus reached over and covered her hand with his. He smiled at her.
"I know. I guess I've been worrying about the same thing. Losing you. I know you and Severus are just close friends but sometimes I…it worries me that you'll go to him instead of me," he sighed. Leslie tightened her grip on his hand.
"Why would you think that?"
A cold lump appeared in Remus's throat and he took a deep breath before speaking.
"I could never give you a great life Leslie. I mean, for the work I've been doing helping protect Hogwarts Dumbledore has paid me more than enough but I'll never be able to get out of all my debt. I'm barely able to keep the house! Then with your job and everything…you wouldn't want to be known as being involved with," his voice cracked, "a no good werewolf."
Leslie glared at Remus and gripped his hand harder. Remus jumped from the sudden sting of her nails in his hand and met her gaze.
"How could you think I'd be that dense?" she growled angrily, "I don't give a shit what all those prejudice bastards think! I know who you are. You're the kindest sweetest man I've ever met and I'd be lost woithout you!"
She released her grip on his hand and took his face in her hands, drawing him down to her and kissing him. Remus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Eventually the two reluctantly drew apart.
"I think you convinced me," Remus said with a smile. Leslie smiled back and sighed contentdly. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.
"I could get used to coming here instead of class," she murmured.
"So could I love," Remus answered kissing the top of her head, "Are we done then? Is the air clear between us?"
Leslie tensed in his arms and Remus gave her a questioning look when she turned to look at him.
"There's one more thing," Leslie said slowly, "This is probably a stupid question but…are you truly over Molly?"
The words hit Remus like a slap in the face. He looked at her in shock for a moment. Only the growing disappointment in her eyes knocked him out of it.
"Over Molly?" he croaked. Leslie moved away from him and Remus suddenly felt cold.
"I stayed at your house Remus. I know there are quite a few similarities between Molly and I. I need to know you are not thinking of me as a substitue for her."
Remus was shocked by the accusation. The very idea was apaling and yet…was Molly haunting him whenever he was with Leslie? Remus shook his head.
"No, no I would never do that to you!" He met Leslie's gaze squarely.
"I love you for you Leslie. I wish I could make you understand that. Of course I've had misgivings about our relationship because of Molly. Soemtimes I worry that I'm betraying her, that I'm dishonoring her memory because I'm in love with you. But then I remember the type of person Molly was and that she'd be happy for me. She would want me to move on, to love again, and not die alone and only thinking of her."
Leslie stayed where she was, a long silence growing between them. Then she nodded and smiled weakly at him. Remus started to breath again and was surprised to find he had been holding his breath the whole time. Leslie seemed unsure of what to do next and was avoiding Remus's gaze.
Seeing Leslie frozen, Remus moved to her with the most loving smile he could muster.
"Leslie Brand," he said quietly shaking his head. Leslie reluctantly met his gaze and returned the smile. He took both her hands in his.
"That worry is just as stupid as my worry about you not loving me because I'm a werewolf."
Leslie flinched but nodded. She looked away in shame. Remus gently reached up and firmly grasped her chin, forcing her to look back at him.
"You are the only women for me now and for the rest of my life," he whispered.
"Oh Remus!" Leslie cried, throwing her arms around his neck.
Remus returned her fierce embrace, slightly surprised at his own words. As he thought about what he had said a slow smile crept on his face. He believed every word of what he had said. His feelings for Leslie were true and deep.
He was grateful Leslie couldn't see his face because he could feel himself blush as he realized what he had to do.
