~At Long Last~
The only thing Harry knew was that his head hurt terribly. His arms and legs moved, though stiffly. Where he was he didn't know, and he was quite certain that it wasn't somewhere he should be.
'Damn.' he whispered, realizing that he was shackled to a wall, and without his wand. Of course they wouldn't leave him armed.
'You'll be saying more than that in due time.' came a voice he knew well. Harry looked up to see the face of Draco Malfoy sneering at him. 'Looks like at long last I've got you where I want you.' He drove his fist deep into Harry's stomach.
'I'm betting your pissed your Lord hasn't granted you permission to do away with me.' Harry smiled back, even as another fist pummeled into the side of his face. Draco's face was fuming, and Harry knew he'd hit a nerve. The question was now, how to strike it again.
'Who said I wanted to kill you? At least, not yet.' Draco started pacing around him, slowly, the sneer never leaving his smug face. 'You see, the way it is, I have you now. In my clutches. Lord Voldemort will honor me higher than any of his other followers.'
Harry rolled his eyes. 'God, you're all trying to be daddy's little favorite, aren't you?'
'Pretty good, wouldn't you say, Potter! You fell into a trap a Malfoy set for you. Must tear at you, huh? To know that at long last, I'm going to win, and you're going to lose?'
'No, because I already know how I'm getting out of here.' Harry smiled. He really had no idea, but he wasn't going to let Draco on to that. It seemed to work, for his old schoolmate's face paled noticeably even in the dark. But soon the smugness reappeared.
'You won't. You're a fool to think you can trick me Potter. Voldemort will be here in time.' He leaned in closer, nearly an inch away from Harry's face. 'I'll enjoy listening to you scream.' then he turned on his heel and left. Harry tugged in vain at the manacles that bound him and sighed, allowing his head to droop in knowing failure.
* * *
~A Wolf's Heart~
'Sirius, are you certain?' Remus asked once more. He was visibly pale and shaking, but his old friend didn't notice, and he was partially glad.
'Of course I am! You're questioning my sanity?'
'I'm questioning your judgment. Don't get me wrong, Sirius, but....in desperate times we...sometimes see things we want to see.' At this, Sirius' face fumed red. Remus held up a hand. 'All right, all right! I'll see what strings I can pull. We'll....we'll go back there and look for him.'
'Now! We're going now!' Sirius demanded. A long silent Arthur suddenly spoke up.
'Sirius you can't just go now.'
'HARRY COULD BE DEAD!' Sirius hollered, his heart pounding at the sound of the words coming out of his mouth.
'He isn't dead.' Remus stood now. He looked tall and foreboding. And angry. 'He isn't dead because Voldemort knows his value to us. He would want to strike a bargain first. He would...see what we would give for Harry's life. What we would trade.'
'A barter?' Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'How can you be so certain?'
'Because its the smart thing to do in Voldemort's position. In exchange for Harry, Dumbeldore would probably give Voldemort just about anything! Think how good of a deal he could strike, Sirius! He won't kill Harry. Not yet.'
'That's easy for you to say!' Sirius muttered bitterly.
'What?' Remus breathed, his heart in his throat, along with his dinner.
'He isn't your responsibility. You can easily make these sort of assumptions. But I can't. All I can see is him lying dead somewhere. You don't-'
Sirius stopped there, taking a place in an old armchair beside the study's fire. Once more he rested his head in his hands. Remus thought he could see newly forming streaks of gray in the jet black, shoulder length hair. He smiled sadly.
'I have only a slight idea of what you're going through.' he admitted, not meeting his friend's shocked gaze. 'I was never able to attach myself to him like you did. You made him your son, which is just what James would have wanted.' He could feel the tears, but pulled them back in determination not to cry. Not in front of Sirius. 'But Sirius, don't ever make the assumption that we don't care about him any more than any other Member of the Order, or an Auror. Sirius, he's all we have left of a family we all loved and lost. The last Potter. Everyone loved Lily and James, and so do they love Harry. We care about him, and we're willing to do all we can to get him back. And its hard to keep our heads knowing that our children are being targeted the same as we are. None of us are safe, Sirius. Harry will come back, because I don't believe that God would be so cruel as to take him from us. Lily and James are watching over him. They know how much you love Harry, as much as they did. They won't allow anything to happen to him knowing that we'll do all we can to save him.'
'How can you say this?' Sirius whispered. 'How?'
'Because I can place myself in your shoes. I can imagine what I would be feeling, thinking, imagining. It's in my nightmares finding Harry dead somewhere as well. All of ours. But I know it can't happen, because I won't give up hope. And you can't either. I'll remind you everyday if I have to, but I'm not going to let you despair over something we know we will win. I have confidence that that boy can take anything thrown at him, because I've seen him do it before. We all have. And every time it made him stronger. Harry can't be broken. He can't be converted or put against his will. He will not betray us in our search to have us find him dead. He will betray no one who is loyal to him or Dumbeldore, or us. He knows we'll find him.'
Sirius smiled, breathing easily now.
'I'm amazed at the heart of a wolf.' he smiled.
* * *
~Hope in the Stars~
Harry was surprised to find a window in his prison cell. A smile crept over his face. A rather nice view, considering where he was. He could see the stars and all the constellations, and could even pick out a few planets. Divination and Astronomy had done little for him, except help him to discover that he rather enjoyed looking at the stars at night. His favorite constellation was Canis Major, which he could see now. Harry smiled as he traced the figure of one of Orion's best hunting dogs.
He wasn't sure why he had come to like the constellation so much. His godfather was definitely a major contributor however. The brightest star in Canis Major was called Sirius, and it was the brightest star in the sky next to the sun. Harry smiled as he looked up at it now. The dog was almost directly over his prison, and Harry took that as a good omen. Sirius the star glittered down at him, nearly winking at him.
'I hope you're okay.' Harry whispered at the sky, toward the star. 'I know you're worried. But I'm doing fine. I'll get out of here, even if you don't find me. I know you'll try, but I'd rather you not. You'll risk yourself and probably end up back in Azkaban. Or worse.' Harry laughed. 'I can't bring you back to life if you die. But I can break you out of that jail. Frankly I'd rather you stay put. I know that's asking too much, but it would mean more to me than you coming to my rescue. There's nothing for me if you're not there.' Suddenly, Harry smiled. 'It would be funny if we had some sort of psychic connection and you could hear everything I was saying. You told me you and dad did. Maybe we'll grow that close. But not now. There's always so much happening we barely have any time.' he looked bleary eyed to the stars. 'I promise that if I make it through this, I'll make more time.'
* * *
Miles away, Sirius stared up at the star that had given him his name. The brightest star in the sky next to the sun, Harry had told him long ago. A rather fascinating fact that James had also shared with him a while ago. He thought back longingly on that day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Then you must be the sun.' I laughed teasingly, though I had meant it.
'Oh you're funny, smart ass!' James had tossed a pillow at me. We'd been in the common room during our sixth year.
'Don't curse!' Remus hissed.
'How can I not with this kid over here smarting off?' James smiled, tossing another pillow at me. I was rolling around on my bed laughing. I loved ticking him off like that, though I knew somewhere I'd probably flattered him. It was always hysterical. 'Oh shut up, Padfoot!'
'Oh make me!' I spat back at him, blowing a slobbery raspberry.
'Okay!' and without my expecting it, he leapt from his bed to mine, the both of us toppling over the other side. I laughed till my sides hurt, and James was near the same state.
'What sort of a tackle was that! You're as weak as Snape on a Cleansweep!'
'Oh that's it!' James had hollered and he started wailing on me, though with nothing more than a pillow. I rolled over and pretended that it hurt terribly.
'Oh please stop! It hurts! I can't take it anymore!'
Remus was trying desperately not to laugh, though was being highly unsuccessful at it. With a holler I launched myself at James and tossed him up on the bed. I could lift him easily he was so thin, but we were both of equal strength.
'Ahhhhhhhhh!' He cried as he flopped back over the other side. He landed with a hard thud that made me wince. I jumped onto the bed and looked over.
'All right there, Prongs?'
'What are you doing, trying to kill me?' he stated bitterly, pulling his head out of a small trash bin.
'Sorry, mate.'
James smiled evilly. 'No you're not.' and he tossed a heaping wad of tissues at me. Peter had had a cold earlier in the week, and I didn't want to think about what was concealed in the heart of those white wads of disposable cloth.
'Oh God! No!' I hollered, trying desperately to evade the launch. Remus sat on his bed, looking very much amused at our performance. 'Would you stop sitting there Moony and HELP ME!!!!'
'And ruin the Before Dinner show?' he smiled wickedly. James laughed as he charged me with the remnants of the bin.
'HAHA! NO ONE'S GOING TO SAVE YOU NOW!' I ran down to the Common Room and out the door, amazed that James was still chasing me.
'If I say "I surrender" will you stop?' I shouted over my shoulder.
'Maybe!'
I rolled my eyes. A stitch was growing in my side, I had to stop whether or not I was going to get a shirt full of snot filled tissues.
'Do you surrender?' James grinned. I raised my hands over my head to signal a surrender, but apparently that wasn't good enough for James. He somehow twisted me around and had an arm around my neck, another on the trash bin. 'Say Uncle!' he demanded.
'Aunt!' I laughed.
'Say UNCLE!'
'AUNT! AUNT! AUNT!'
'UNCLE!!!'
'AUNT!!!!!!!!'
We fell to the floor laughing.
'You're a git!' James managed after a while.
'I learn from the best.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A smile crossed the sad man's face. He loved those old fights. It was amazing how fun they had always been. Sirius missed those days with an envy. What he wouldn't do to relive those days. What would he change? Nothing. He thought. Those days had been precious, more so than he had realized.
Silent sobs wracked his body, and he looked once more to the star he was named after. Nothing was more precious than those days, except maybe those he had had with Harry.
'I'll find you.' he promised. 'I won't let you go. I'll never stop looking for you. You can always count on me. I won't screw up again.' then his eyes turned angrily to the heavens. 'You may have taken everything I have, but you won't have Harry. Do you hear me James? You made the mistake of leaving, but you won't get your son back. Not yet.' surprisingly, the wind started to pick up, making the trees talk with strength in the chattering branches. 'Don't bother arguing. I've made up my mind.'
Everything then died into silence. Sirius stood from his perch on the roof and smiled, looking once more to his star. There was one beside it that was slightly less brighter, and yet not at all a part of the constellation. It winked brightly at him, and he suddenly wondered if that was an omen. A smile crept onto his face as he realized what that star was meant for. It wasn't a real star, but a magical sign of hope from someone very far away. He knew Harry was okay, because long ago they had derived this plan. Sirius could cast a star signal through his star to Harry, and Harry could cast a signal through the star beside it. There was no need of a wand, it was only simple will power, and only they could comprehend it. As long as they could see Canis Major, they could talk to each other.
Why Sirius hadn't thought to look before, he wasn't sure. Sighing, he sat back down. The star winked again. He was indeed without his wand, and didn't know where he was. Voldemort was no where around, but he would be seeing him soon. I'll see you again.
Sirius smiled brightly. This was another thing James and he had done years ago. It had worked well when his friend had gone into hiding, but when James had died, the star had burned out. Now it was back, and Sirius found comfort in its position beside his own. I will find you.
The star beside Canis Major's Sirius winked again. Don't risk yourself for me. I can handle it.
Sirius sat in silence, his thoughts mimicked in the constant flickering of his star. I know you can. I have faith in you.
Thank you. Do you know what time it is?
He laughed, checking the watch Harry had given him two Christmases ago. It was very nice, though he had needed a good deal of help in getting it to work. Eleven sixteen.
Thank you. There was a pause in the star's flickering. I'm going to break out of here tomorrow. I know I can.
Where are you going?
I think I might go to Hogwarts. If I can judge correctly it might not be too far away from here. I could make it as Shadowfax.
Be careful Harry. Sirius felt his heart pound. There was another bout of silence. He believed that Harry might have turned away from the signal when suddenly it started to flicker again.
I want to ask you something. If its a stupid question let me know, but its something that's itched at me for a while, and lately I've been wondering if I'd ever get the chance to ask you. Just in case, I wanted to ask you now.
Sirius nodded his head. He didn't like what Harry was expecting. His godson had never showed a lack of faith in himself, at least one that he had never openly exposed. He was wondering if this was a new side of Harry, or if he really was in trouble.
Ask then, please.
Another bout of silence before at last there was a response. Do you think of dad the same way you think of me?
On the other side of what may very well have been the galaxy, Harry sat and waited. For ten minutes he waited for a response, at last it came to him. What do you mean?
I mean, what exactly am I to you?
I'm confused.
Well, let me try putting it this way. Do you think of me as a friend, like dad was? Just Harry your godson? Harry waited. He prayed Sirius didn't take this the wrong way. Suddenly he wished he could have had this conversation face to face. You know, never mind Sirius. I shouldn't be asking this question-
No, wait. That was what Harry did, and the answer was phenomenal. I'm glad you asked that. Harry, my greatest fear has been losing you, but my second greatest was you never knowing what I thought. You're my best friend's son, and you became mine the moment I knew James was dead. I wanted so badly to be a father to you, but I was afraid you wouldn't let me. I didn't want to take his place in your heart, so I left it to you to place me where you saw fit. I would humbly accept that position in your heart, for it would not be fair to force myself upon you like a father. I've often wanted to ask you the same question, but I thought that you may feel the way I didn't want you to. I lay quiet, not knowing what to do for you except stand by you in your time of need. I didn't do that too well, I fear, and now that you know how I feel I'm not so certain you'll ever want me too.
Harry, however, smiled, and he let it show. The star grew brighter, and Sirius noticed it from a hundred miles away.
If it means anything to you, you never once forced yourself upon me. In fact I desired for you to become the father I never knew. I thought you were afraid of me or something because you never pushed yourself into that role. I wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was simply because I wasn't your son. Maybe it was something I couldn't see. But Sirius, I'm glad for your answer.
Sirius smiled tearfully on the rooftop of Grimmauld Place. I'm glad for yours. When you get back, I promise to be more of the father you need.
The star dwindled a bit. You're just fine the way you are. I love you for what you've done for me. Just please, don't die trying to save me. I couldn't bear it. I promise I'll come back to you, and that is something I can promise.
Can you? Sirius laughed.
Yes, I can. I know how I'm going to get out of here.
Be careful Harry. Sirius lost count at how many times he'd said that, but once more for good measures couldn't hurt, could it?
You too. And that was the end of their conversation. Sirius, however, continued to stare into the sky. A new hope found in the heavens, he thought, laying on his back and watching as the constellations passed before his eyes. Canis Major soon disappeared in the daylight, and he found himself suddenly wishing he'd said more to his godson.
'No matter. You'll see him again.' he told himself as he stood, entering Grimmauld Place through the window in his mum's old bedroom. He joined the others for breakfast, tired, but more cheery than he'd been in months.
